Ever wonder what it's like to be a coffee mug in the Military?
Well, here's a story to answer that. Taken from the POV (Point Of View,
for those who don't know "author slang") of First Liuetenant Riza
Hawkeye's coffee mug. Itty bitty Royai and some Havoc tossed in just
for fun. Rated for a tragic lack of sweaing and lack of sex, then again
you never know what goes on in those coffee cabinets...
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. If I did, I probably wouldn't wear a shirt with a cigarette burn and a coffee stain.
A Day In The Life Of Riza's Coffee Mug
Well my days usually run together pretty normally. Nothing really unusual ever happens, especially for a plain white coffee mug like me. Now and then though, the day gets alittle weird.
My owner, Riza, woke me up, as usual, from my spot in the break room cabinet. She always likes to drink strong coffee, she uses barely any milk and never uses sugar. So she poured alittle milk in me and then filled me up to the top with boiling hot coffee. If it weren't for that little bit of milk, I would have been scorched.
She stirs the coffee, then takes a sip and sighs. Riza always does that. I keep expecting her to burn her tongue or something, since she drinks it so bitter and hot, but if she is burnt she certainly doesn't show it.
Anyway, moving on. Riza then gets out Mustang's coffee cup. The lazy bum hasn't made his own coffee in years, my owner always makes his coffee. I don't complain though because Mustang's mug is a sexy little red number that usually smells of sugar. She may be alittle stuck up, in the cabinet she always brags that she's "the boss's coffee mug" but she is, at the least, nice to look at and smell.
Mustang comes in while Riza is in the middle of pouring sugar and cream into his mug. As always, he reaches over and has a big gulp from me and, as always, he sticks out his tongue and complains that the coffee is too hot and too bitter. I don't know why he does this, but he always has a drink from me before he takes a drink from his own, even though he always complains that Riza's coffee is too bitter and rants for a good five minutes on how she can drink it without any sugar.
Riza never seems to really pay attention, she rolls her eyes and finishes stirring the coffee in Ms. Red, as I like to call Mustang's mug, and hands it to him. He takes her and walks to his office while I sigh to myself since I can't look at Ms. Red any more.
So, Riza fills me back up with coffee, pouring barely a shot of milk in me and then she takes out Havoc's mug or Blue as she's called in the cabinet. I like Blue better than Ms. Red. She's nice, not pompous, and there's something very sultry about her. She always seems to have a slight smell of tobacco on her, Blue is kinda embarrassed by it, but I like it.
Riza fills Blue with alittle sugar and cream, though not nearly as much as she put in Ms. Red. I'm quite content just sitting next to Blue. Havoc comes in just as Riza finishes stirring Blue, and he smiles at her softly, though her back is turned. I know that smile will be gone by the time she turns around, it always is.
They greet each other by Military rank then Havoc, as he usually does, lights up a cigarette. Like always, Riza tells him he shouldn't smoke in the office and Havoc sighs as he flicks off the end of it then sticks the now un-lit cigarette back in his mouth. Havoc seems nice though he can act annoying at times. I think he shocks too easily.
I joke to Blue that it's going to be another tough day as Havoc takes a drink from her and she laughs as Havoc walks out with her. Riza is picking me up now too. She finally has me all to herself and she drinks her coffee contently. She does her usual rounds, gathering papers, letting her dog out to the courtyard, answering phones. Yeah it's a normal day.
So the day goes on, it's just past noon now and there is some cold coffee sitting in the bottom of me. Some short, blonde guy comes into the office. I've seen him before, but only a few times. He's alright, loud though.
Uh oh. Riza just left and shorty is staring at me. I don't like how he's looking at me. What is he planning?
Hehe. Shorty thought he would try coffee. Though I guess he isn't really used to coffee since he's sticking his tongue out and ranting to me about how disgusting it is. Reminds me kinda of Mustang.
Riza is back and she has no idea what's going on. She is just blinking, confused. With a shrug, she goes back to work, Shorty goes to talk to Mustang and the day moves on.
It gets later. Almost everyone in the office has gone now and I am half full with fresh hot coffee. Riza picks me up along with some papers and goes to the desk where Mustang and Ms. Red are sitting. Ms. Red is full to the brim, she was recently refilled and I can still see steam rising off her. Riza and Mustang are talking about something or other, I'm not really paying attention, I'm still staring at Red. She's looking very nice right now, warm and steamy.
Oh wow, this must be my lucky day, Riza just put me down right next to her. Ms. Red looks tired and she seems to be paying more attention to our owners than me, sadly. Riza is trying to point out something to Mustang, though he doesn't seem to be paying attention.
Hey, Ms. Red just pointed out to me that Mustang's hand seems to be moving towards my owner's waist even though he's looking the other way.
Something tells me this won't end well. Ms. Red is trying to get a better look, by leaning over. If she's not carefully she's going to spill.
Of course she does spill.
Seems like everything just happened in slow motion. Just before Mustang was able to reach my owner, Red spilled all over his hand. I swear he must have jumped a foot in the air. Scrambled over his desk and ran down the hall. It's taking all my energy not to laugh my handle off.
Riza is sighing, picking up Ms. Red and I. I guess this means that the paperwork is done for tonight. Ms. Red seems embarrassed, her color seems to fit her almost too well now and that just makes me want to laugh more. My owner takes us into the break room where I now see Mustang with his hand stuck in the freezer.
He does not look pleased.
Riza sets us down on the counter and now she's pulling Mustang's hand out of the freezer, sticking it under the water faucet. She just turned the cold water on and she's grabbing the first aid kit from under the sink.
Ms. Red seems even more nervous, now that my owner is cleaning up her mess. She's apologizing to them, even though she knows that the owners can't hear us. Poor Ms. Red. I really feel sorry for her and Mustang now.
I keep telling Ms. Red that it was just an accident and her owner's hand looks fine now, red, but fine. Everything seems to have calmed down now. My owner is shutting off the water and giving Mustang some kinda ointment from the first aid kit.
Time for a quick bath before going to bed. Riza is washing Ms. Red and I. While Ms. Red seems to have finally calmed down, I'm the one who wants to blush now. Mustang is putting away the ointment then the first aid kit, he seems to look better.
My owner has finished washing us, and Ms. Red and I say our good nights. Everyone else in the cabinet is already asleep. The cabinet door closes, the muffled shuffling of the owners leaving is heard and then the snap of the light outside.
Yeah...nothing unusual ever really happens when you're a plain white coffee mug for a Military gun-woman...
I meant to post this like a month ago but it slipped my mind when a hurricane knocked out the power at my house. 19 hours with nothing to do but sleep, smoke and yell at my brother, later I had forgotten. So then I was cleaning out some files from my computer and lo, there was my story. Which also reminded me I need to get back to writing, even with schol and all.
Yada yada. Anyway, please review and tell me what you thought (I'm not afraid of flames thanks to my fire proof suit!). I apologize for any OOCness there might have been. Also hey, I might take a request if you make one (I could use the practice).