NO ROOM IN HER HEART

by Gunman

Disclaimer: I do not own NGE or any of it's characters.

Shinji was in the kitchen, just finishing up a new recipe he had found just the other day. He was so absorbed in his cooking that he didn't see or feel Misato sneak up behind him and hug him tightly.

"HI SHINJI!" She shouted as he glomped him from behind.

"Geez, Misato! Are you trying to make me lose my hearing and give me a heart attack?" he jumped.

"You really should learn to develop those instincts of yours, Shinji-kun!" the order woman said as she nuzzled her face against Shinji's affectionately. "So, where's Asuka?"

"Out on another blind-date for Hikari. She'll probably dump the guy and be back here before the news comes on." he answered as Misato released him.

Misato grinned. "You know why she does that, don't you?" she asked, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

Shinji shook his head.

"Because she wants to be with you, silly-boy." she teased, yet again.

Shinji nearly dropped his cooking pot at hearing that.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Asuka Langley Sohryu, the redheaded 'demon' from Germany, entered the apartment, grumbling all the way in. Her date had been a near disaster, for her, and she hoped that Hikari wouldn't go trying to set her up on another boring date. Granted the class rep was her best friend, but there was only so much a girl could put up with. Especially after all the cheap moves and tired lines he had tried to use on her. She was sorely tempted to find his address, get in her Eva the next time an Angel attacked, and toss the Angel onto his house.

She was about to announce her presence, when she heard raised voices from the kitchen.

"She likes you." she heard Misato say.

"No Way!" Shinji shouted back.

'Huh?' Asuka's attention was caught.

"There isn't any way what your saying is true." she heard Shinji again.

"Oh?"

"Absolutely not!"

"I'm telling you, she does! 'Oh, Shinji, love of my life, be mine forever!'" she teased.

Asuka was in the hallway now, approaching the kitchen. She was uncharacteristically curious about who Misato was talking about, if she heard her guardian right, someone liking Shinji. Of course, she hadn't heard of anyone from school, and she didn't think Rei had it in her to express those kinds of emotions. And it wasn't like he was particularly close to anyone at NERV. She would have popped in right there and asked exactly who would have liked Shinji, and then joined rubbing it in that no one in their right mind could possibly like him of all people, until she heard a familiar name.

"Asuka hates me!" Shinji's voice echoed through the kitchen and into the hallway.

The girl in question froze.

"There isn't any way she could like me. She'd probably love to kill me."

His words dug into her heart.

"She doesn't hate you Shinji. She likes you. I know it."

"How could you know what Asuka's thinking? You're not psychic." A thought dawned on him. "Are you?" he asked, a little panicked.

"I don't have to be. I can read between the lines. Asuka's always ditching those guys she goes on blind-dates with, so that she can rush back here and be with you."

"God, are you blind? You see the way she throws herself at Kaji." he let out a depressed sigh. "There isn't any room in her heart for me."

At this Asuka instantly rounded the corner ready to say something, but froze in her tracks at hearing his words. Not merely his words, but his tone as well. The Third's back was to her, and Misato was opposite him, chugging another beer. She ducked back around the corner to avoid being seen, but little did she know Misato saw her flash of red hair.

"Maybe you're right, Shinji. Why should you waste time on an arrogant, selfish bitch like her."

At that, Asuka's anger started to rise. She would've instantly exploded into the kitchen to challenge the purple-haired woman, when she heard Shinji's voice.

"She's not all bad, Misato."

At that, Asuka froze once again.

"You're defending her?" a shocked Misato asked.

"She has her good points."

"Such as..." she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, her confidence, for one. I kinda envy that about her."

Now it was Asuka's turn to be shocked.

"You envy her confidence?"

"Yeah, I do. It's like, no matter what comes her way, she's confident she can handle it. Even when she can't. It's like nothing fazes her."

"It sounds like you like her." Misato smiled.

"I respect her. She's an EVA pilot, like me. Besides, she's smart, beautiful, confident, social. All the things I'm not. So why would she ever care about a guy like me?"

"You're better than you think, Shinji."

"No, I'm not. I know why Asuka doesn't like me."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Because I insult her."

Misato looked stunned. "Since when? You've never said anything bad about her since you met."

"I don't mean verbally. I mean...the way I am offends her. I'm not like her, and that really bothers her."

"But how does that prove she doesn't like you?"

"You remember the first day we met? She took one look at me and said, 'Not much to look at' and she seemed serious. She calls me 'baka' almost everyday, she called me a 'boring little boy' once. She's called me a jerk, pervert, moron, wimp and even an animated turnip." he said, counting on his fingers. He sighed. "Let's face it, there's no way she could ever like me."

"But you must like her if you remember every specific insult she ever threw at you." she said, pointedly.

Shinji was quiet for several seconds, and the silence made Asuka nervous enough to risk peaking out around the doorway to look at him. Misato wasn't looking at her, but caught her out of the corner of her eye.

"I guess I do. But she'll never like me back." he stated.

"You're so sure of that?"

"You've heard what she says. Every sentence is either a praise to Kaji, or an insult to me. 'Oh, Kaji's the only man for me, and you're not even worthy to lick my boots.'"

At this Misato looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"She doesn't have to say it, but I got the message." Shinji answered her silent query.

A tear started forming in Asuka's eyes. Misato saw the tear, and decided to push a couple more buttons. "But you love her, don't you?"

Shinji bowed his head for a few seconds, trying to hide his blush. "Yes, I do. But she'll never love me back. And I have to accept that."

"So, you're just giving up?"

"How can I give up when I know she'll never give me a chance?"

Asuka was in tears now, both for the truth she heard him confess, and the realization of how much of a bitch she has been to him.

"You're absolutely right, Shinji. Why should you waste your time on an ungrateful bitch like Asuka? I mean, she hits you, insults you, blames you for her problems, doesn't appreciate anything you do, she doesn't show you any gratitude, especially after everything you've done for her. She didn't even thank you after you saved her life in that volcano. Heck, she doesn't even say 'thank you' period."

In the hallway, Asuka turned the corner and placed her back to the wall, sliding down it to the floor where she cried silently. She then heard Shinji speak again.

"I'm going to bed, Misato. Just leave everything here, I'll clean up in the morning."

"Alright, Shinji. Thank you!" Misato called out, knowing that Asuka still had to be in the hallway.

Shinji turned the corner out of the kitchen and went to his room. He never noticed Asuka on the left side of the door, on the floor, as he turned right to his room, tears in her eyes as she watched him go.

God dammit! I'm such a bitch! Asuka's mind screamed as more tears came. He's been nothing but nice to me since I got here, and I treat him like shit!

Images of Shinji flashed through her mind, every event she had witnessed. Their first battle with an Angel, where he had been in the EVA 02 with her. She had to wonder, could she have won without Shinji being there? Considering her track record against the Angels thus far, the logical answer might have been 'no'. Her pride would have said 'yes', but now, she had to wonder. And yet Shinji had just said that he envied her confidence in battle. She never would have been able to defeat the 7th Angel without synchronizing her movements with him, and if it hadn't been for Shinji she wouldn't have been able to beat the 8th Angel hold up in that volcano.

And he had actually dove in to that volcano to save me when the line snapped. And I didn't say 'thank you' to him. God, Misato's right, I really am an ungrateful bitch. It's no wonder he doesn't think I love him. I'm such a fool, thinking Kaji would be interested in me. I know he wouldn't have, but, I was always hopeful. A fools hope. Kaji will never like me the way I want, and Shinji...I've ruined any chance I have at being with him now. He loves me, but he's given up on me.

Misato left the kitchen, passing Asuka, but not apparently not seeing her either. Once everyone had cleared out, Asuka got up off the floor and walked into the kitchen. She took a sharp knife from the drawer and sat down at the table. She took the seat where Misato had sat, across from where Shinji had sat. She held the knife to her left hand as tears continued to fall.

"I'm sorry, Shinji-kun." she sobbed harder.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Shinji's Room

Shinji's eye's popped open as a sharp chill ran down his spine.

Something's wrong. He thought as he got up and headed to the kitchen. He noticed the light was on and continued walking towards the kitchen. He froze when he turned the corner and saw a sight that nearly paralyzed him with shock and horror.

"ASUKA!" Shinji shouted as he ran over to her, pried the knife out of her right hand then grabbed a napkin from the counter and wrapped it tightly around her left wrist. Blood was oozing onto the table and the floor, obviously from the Second Child.

Misato same barreling in a couple seconds later. Before she could do anything, Shinji shouted at her.

"Misato, quick! Get the bandages, the antiseptic, and the gauze, NOW!"

A startled Misato immediately complied.

"Let me die, Shinji." Asuka whispered softly.

"What, Asuka?" a stunned Shinji asked.

"Let me die."

"What are you talking about, Asuka? Let you die? Why would I do that?"

"I deserve it." she cried

Shinji was still confused. "What are you..."

"LET ME DIE!" she shouted, trying to pull away.

"NO!" Shinji quickly countered as he fought to hold Asuka's cut wrist, the pair tumbling to the floor. "Asuka, what's gotten into you?" he asked, pinning her to the floor, still clutching her wrist tightly.

"I know you hate me, and you should." she cried, looking up at him.

His eyes widened. "Hate you? I don't hate you."

"You should. I realize I've been a total bitch to you ever since we met, and it makes me sick! I can't stand it anymore." she cried harder. "I...I'm sorry, Shinji. I'm so sorry."

"Asuka, please stop crying. I don't hate you. I could never hate you. You're not a bad person." he said as he helped her sit up.

"YES I AM! I've been so cruel to you this whole time, and you never deserved it. I've hurt you God knows how many times, and you've done nothing but show me kindness. How can you even look at me without being disgusted, or angry? Why don't you hate me?"

"...because I love you Asuka. I know you'll never love me back, but I could never hate you."

"But...(sniff) I do love you, Shinji."

He perked up at this, not believing what he had just heard. "What? What did you say, Asuka?"

"I love you Shinji Ikari. I was just too scared to admit it. I...I didn't want to get hurt, that's why I was so mean to you."

She loves me? But what about Kaji? Get hurt? "But, I'd never hurt you, Asuka." he assured her.

"I know Shinji. You're too nice to do that. But I'm still scared."

"Of what, Asuka?"

"Of living...without you."

"Without...me?"

By now, Misato had returned with the first aid kit and Shinji was gently tending to her arm. She would have made a teasing remark about the compromising position they were in on the floor, but the tears coming from Asuka's eyes and the concern on Shinji's face made her think twice.

"Why are you doing this, for me?" she asked as he cleaned the wound and applied the bandages.

"You're my friend, Asuka. I like to take care of my friends."

"Is...that all I am to you?" she asked, noticing out of the corner of her eye he wasn't looking at her.

"Asuka, you can do better than me, you always said so."

"NO!" she snapped, throwing her head up. "You're the best guy I've ever known, and I've been a total bitch to you. I can't stand causing you any more pain, so I was..."

"Planning to take your own life? Asuka, don't you understand, that would have hurt me more." he said as he finished gently wrapping the gauze around the bandages.

"It would...?"

"I don't want you to die, Asuka. I want you to live, to be happy. Don't give up, Asuka. Maybe Kaji will adopt you or something."

"And why would he want a selfish, arrogant, ungrateful bitch like me?"

Shinji's head shot up, blushing slightly, the words coming back to him.

"How did you...where did..."

"I overheard you and Misato talking about me." She probably knew I was there. "I heard everything. Everything."

"Everything? Asuka, it's not what...you're not a..."

"YES I AM!" she was crying harder now. "I'm Sorry, Shinji! I'm so sorry!" she cried as she got up and ran to her room.

Misato just stayed in the kitchen as Shinji went after the crying girl. He barged into her room, finding Asuka collapsed on the floor. She was still crying.

"Asuka." he said as he went over and hugged her tightly, gently stroking her hair, "Please, Asuka, don't cry."

She wanted to pull away. She didn't want to be near him. But here she was, being comforted by the same boy she had hurt numerous times. She didn't deserve it, yet for several minutes she just let herself be comforted by the young man.

"Shinji?" she finally spoke.

"Yes, Asuka?"

"I know I've been terrible to you, but, I want you to know, it stops now."

"Asuka..."

"No, don't defend me." she cried as he hugged him tightly, as if afraid he would pull away from her. "I've been a monster to you, a devil, just like everyone says. I don't want that."

"What do you want, Asuka?"

"I...I want a second chance, Shinji. I want to be with you!"

"Asuka..."

"I know I don't deserve it, but please Shinji, don't give up on me."

"But, I thought you liked Kaji..."

"He'll never love me back, not the way I want. I know that now. Shinji..." she looked into his eyes. "Misato was right, Shinji. I kept ditching those guys Hikari set me up with, because deep down, I wanted to be with you. I finally realize that I'm happy when I'm with you Shinji. I was just too stupid to admit it. Too proud to admit I needed anyone. But the truth is...I need you, Shinji." she gave him a weak smile as she put a hand on his chest, making his heart beat faster. "There's room in my heart for you, if you'll have me." Tears still dripped from her eyes.

He pressed his forehead to Asuka's, staring deeply into her eyes. "I love you, Asuka. I just didn't think you even liked me."

"I was an idiot. Please, Shinji, don't give up on me. I promise I can change."

He wiped a tear out of her eye as he looked at her. "But then you wouldn't be the Asuka I fell in love with." he teased slightly.

"I want to be a better Asuka, for you. Please Shinji?" she paused a bit. "I...I'm sorry. I keep telling you what I want, and I didn't even ask what you wanted. What do you want, Shinji?"

He thought about that for several seconds. "I want to take care of you Asuka, I want you to be happy. I just didn't think you'd be happy, with me."

She laughed slightly. "Now you're acting like an idiot, Shinji."

He smiled at her as he leaned in and kissed her softly on her lips. She moaned softly as she took his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. His arms were wrapped around her torso, pulling her in tight as he kissed her with all the love he could muster.

"I love you, Shinji Ikari." she whispered as she hugged him tightly.

"And I love you, Asuka Langley Sohryu." he whispered back to her. "And Asuka? That place in your heart? I'd like to fill it."

Asuka merely cried tears of happiness as she held tightly to him.

Out in the hallway, Misato just smiled as she hugged the air out of Pen-Pen, who was struggling to get away so he could breath.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Authors Notes:

Normally I don't like Asuka that much. Writing her ego into a story is difficult if you don't have any experience having one. But writing a story with an ego-deflated Asuka is fun. I think she and Shinji would make a good couple, even though I like Shinji/Rei stories more, I thought I'd be fair and write one with Asuka getting her man.

Anyway, read and review please. And please be patient, for I am trying to finish up my other stories about Shinji have relationships with the other women from NGE. (Each one is a little difficult to write) Especially after my Shot Through the Heart story.

And now...

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OMAKE!

"Now you're acting like an idiot, Shinji."

He smiled at her as he leaned in and kissed her softly on her lips. She moaned softly as she took his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. His arms were wrapped around her torso, pulling her in tight as he kissed her with all the love he could muster.

"I love you, Shinji Ikari." she whispered as she hugged him tightly.

"And I love you, Asuka Langley Sohryu." he whispered back to her. "And Asuka? That place in your heart? I'd like to fill it."

Asuka merely cried tears of happiness as she held tightly to him.

"Actually, Shinji, there's something else you can fill for me."

Shinji looked at her a little perplexed.

"Your stomach? Are you hungry?"

"Yes, I'm hungry, but I wasn't talking about my stomach."

"Then what?"

"It's...a little further south." she grinned as he blushed.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OMAKE 2!

Shinji's pulse started accelerating as he neared his apartment. Fear clutched him, yet he slowly made his feet move.

Misato's apartment was only ten feet away. And each step increased his anxiety.

He was terrified, and rightly so.

It wasn't that tonight was Misato's turn to cook. It wasn't that Pen-Pen had become very aggressive around dinner time. (Probably due to Misato's cooking)

It was because tonight was Wednesday.

Of all the days of the week, this was the one Shinji feared the most.

Shinji slowly opened the door and crept to his room.

He got to his door, 'Shinji's Lovely Suite' on the door, and had just opened it, when it creaked.

Right then, Shinji knew he was dead. His fear was confirmed when a nylon lasso snaked out and wrapped around his body, pinning his arms to his sides. He felt a tug on his body that pulled him into the living room. He landed with a hard thud and it took him several seconds to recover. When he did he was greeted to the sight he expected to see.

"Howdy, Pardner!" Asuka grinned widely as she stood over him. She was dressed her black lace panties and bra, a black cowboy hat, black cowboy boots, and six-shooter on her shapely hip. The lasso she had caught Shinji with was in her hands.

Shinji sighed. "Hello, Asuka. So, what are we going to do tonight?" Like I want to know.

"Well, I figured I'm gonna tame me an Ikari. I've already roped 'em, now I'm gonna ride 'em!" she grinned as she brought out a saddle from behind the couch.

"But what about Misato?" he asked, hoping that would curb her.

"She went to wet her whistle with Doc Akagi at their fav'orite watterin hole." she grinned.

Shinji's head fell back against the carpet with a sigh. Great, alone again. He thought glumly.

Ever since she had come out of her coma a couple months ago, Asuka had changed. For one thing, she had professed that she loved Shinji. This was a good thing. The second thing, however, was the fact that she had become incredibly creative in how she showed her love. Every night was a different cosplay and sexual encounter.

And tonight was Cowboy Night!

At least she's not going to brand me again. He thought as Asuka stripped off his pants.

Thursday was Tarzan Night. (Leopard skin bikini, HELL YEAH!)

Friday was Nurse Night. (Is your temperature rising?)

Saturday was Star Wars Night. (Yes, the metal bikini episode)

Sunday was Geisha Night. (Eating sushi off people, HELLO!)

Monday was French Maid Night. (Room Service, anyone?)

Tuesday was Hula Dancer Night. (Mahalo, means 'thank you')

(Just a little fan service for all those guys who have always imagined Asuka in different costumes)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OMAKE 3

"Kiss me, Kaji!" Asuka whined as she wrapped her arms around the unshaven mans neck.

"Asuka, I can't." Ryoji Kaji replied, trying to pry the girl off him.

"Why not? No one will know. I won't tell."

"Yes, you will."

"You're right. I'd brag about it till the world stopped spinning."

"I'm sorry, Asuka, I still can't kiss you."

"But why?"

"Because...I'm gay."

"WHAT!"

"Now you know my dark secret."

"But, but, but...all those women you flirt with. Misato. Ritsuko. Maya. Even though I heard she's a lesbian."

"I'm a spy, I'm supposed to flirt with women."

"But how can that be?"

"Well, if you spent a week having sex with Misato, then you'd also have effectively sated your pallet for the opposite sex."

"DAMMIT MISATO!" an angry redhead shouted as she stormed out of the room. "You are always ruining my chances with KAJI, and NOW YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT!"

Across the city, a shiver ran down the spine of a certain purple-haired woman.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OMAKE 4

Shinji was about to take another sip from his drink when he sees that his father and Kouzou walk by. Shinji then noticed that his father's hands were burned. 'I wonder how he got that?'

"What's wrong?" Misato asked.

"Well, nothing's wrong." Shinji awkwardly replied.

Misato frowned at Shinji. 'Here he goes again.' "Are you aware that when you say 'nothing' that way, it's the same as asking others to pay attention to you?" Misato glared at Shinji.

Shinji eyes widened as he, well, never thought of that. Being the idiā€¦um, slow as he was. Shinji conceded and spoke what was on his mind at the time. "Well, it's just that my father seems to have burned his hands."

"Burned?" Misato was a little surprised about this. While she knew some of what happened before she joined NERV, she didn't know everything. And the story behind Commander Ikari's burned hands was one of them.

"I was just wondering how it happened." Shinji asked.

"Burns?" While Misato didn't know, someone else in the room might. Misato turned her attention to Ritsuko. "Do you know anything about those burns?"

"Oh, yes. Dumb fool was juggling flaming steak knives one night, and well...he caught them all the wrong end. Nearly took his eye out too."

"Figures. Was he trying to impress someone?"

"No. He was auditioning for a Japanese Steak House cook. When that didn't work out, he chose to become a military commander."

"We are in so much trouble here."

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OMAKE 5

"Has anyone seen Pen-Pen?" Misato asked.

"Not me." Shinji said.

"Yeah, I put him back in his fridge." Asuka called from the living room.

Misato went to look inside, but found he wasn't there.

"He's not here, Asuka!"

"What? I put him in there myself!" she said as she entered the kitchen. "No, not that one. The other one."

"Other one?"

"Yeah, the new one we got."

Misato went pale as she raced to the new refrigerator and opened the upper door, pulling out a solid block of ice that had a penguin's head sticking out of the top.

"WARK! WARK!" he cried as he struggled to get free of the block of ice.

"THAT'S THE FREEZER YOU PINHEAD!" Misato shouted as she took the mostly frozen penguin into the bathroom to thaw him out.

"Well how was I supposed to know?"

"And you wonder why he avoids you nowadays." Shinji muttered as he went to his room.