A/N: And lo—another chapter of Huzzah! Although I know that I take forever in between chapters of this story—I'm trying to concentrate the most on Still Ongoing, actually—I hope you all know that I'm totally not abandoning this fic. Or you guys. No matter how slow, it shall continue. Although, admittedly, I feel like a bit of a failure…because one of the main humor themes in this fic is the constant redundancy, and there are a few jokes in this chapter that draw back from previous chapters…which you all probably won't remember, since I've taken so dang long to update…I apologize.
Anyway…I have another special Short for you, another Conversations With FE Players…this time it's with Kitten Kisses xD. We'd had this conversation a long time ago, but it was really funny to me at the time, so I stuck it in my file to put as a Short for the next Huzzah! Chapter…and here it is!
CONVERSATIONS WITH FE PLAYERS!
Kitten Kisses: Kent is the sort to always be prepared.
Sardonic Kender Smile: You're making him sound like a Girl Scout.
Kitten Kisses: Aha! I can see it now: Kent proudly displaying his badge...
Sardonic Kender Smile: A badge? Singular?! You insult him--Girl Scout Kent has MANY, MANY BADGES.
Kitten Kisses: MULTIBADGE GIRLSCOUT KENT!!
(The mental image is far, far funnier than the conversation.)
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO—SOAPBOX SHENANIGANS
Eliwood, Hector, Lyn, Eirika, Ephraim, Gilliam, Kent, and Seth had just begun the exciting stages of their quest (among which included pillaging Jews, mocking Muslims, brawling with Hindus, and stubbornly ignoring all Buddhists they met along the way)—and even Hector was starting to get excited about finding the Grail—when they had come upon Della, who was twirling a piccolo in one hand and tossing an extremely ornate golden cup with a halo of holy light around it with the other hand. Of course, all the lords had immediately made a mad scramble for the grand and holy artifact…but Della, not noticing their excitement, merely threw the cup into the air again—and missed catching it on the way back down. The cup smashed upon the ground, breaking into several sharp pieces, and the light around it faded. ("This," the tactician had said, with hardly a hint of remorse, "is why I am not in color guard." ) Now all the lords cried out in outrage and sorrow, since their royal quest had been royally ruined…until Della had started laughing and explained that if the Holy Grail was indeed the cup Jesus drank from at the Last Supper, then it would hardly be a jewl-encrusted golden cup and was more likely to be made from simple wood or stone or clay or maybe glass which is a total stretch and wouldn't have survived two thousand years anyway. Then she went on a tangent about something to do with some person named da Vinci and how a Mr. Brown was perhaps too good at merging fact and fiction because the idiot masses had believed the book shelved in the "new fiction" section. This relieved our heroes a bit (though it also confused them)…and we find them now debating about how best to seek the cup they felt was still out there…
"I say," Eliwood said in a deep, heroic voice, "that we should go…THIS WAY!" He pointed to the horizon.
"Nay," Ephraim responded, just as dramatically. "I believe our answer lies THIS WAY!" He pointed in the opposite direction.
"Nonsense!" Hector cried in the same tone. "Obviously that dumb cup is THIS WAY!" And he pointed in a different direction than the other two.
"Actually," said Eirika, "I'm sure there's a better way to continue on our quest…we don't have to resort to guesswork."
"Yes," Lyn agreed. "We could just ask for directions…"
"That's ridiculous!" huffed Hector, Eliwood, and Ephraim. "We know where we're going! We don't need to ask for directions!"
Lyn and Eirika shot each other a knowing glance, one which clearly read: "Men…"
The argument that was sure to ensue, however, was put off when Serra came bounding up to the company, pointed at Seth, and screeched something along the lines of
Seth blinked. "Er…excuse me?"
"The British guy!" Serra shrieked, still pointing. "You can have the British boat! Because you're a straight-laced, young-but-high-ranking guy with cool hair! Can you say Commodore Norrington? Because I CAN! Look! COMMODORE NORRINGTON!"
Seth opened his mouth but no words came out. That was alright, though. Serra spoke enough for the both of them—and for Kent, too, who was the next unfortunate male to fall under her eye.
"Ooooh, and Kenty!" she squealed, pulling the red knight to her side. "You can be Will Turner, okay? Because you're the serious poor boy—and don't you want to end up with the strong-willed rich girl?"
Kent looked over at Lyn. "Well…umm…"
"GREAT!" exclaimed Serra ecstatically. "Because L'Arachel will simply love you!"
"L-L-L'Arachel?" choked out Seth and Ephraim.
Too late—Serra had grabbed Seth and Kent and flounced away with them both as if they were designer purses. "This parody is filling in quite nicely! Cap'n Joshua Sparrow will be really happy!"
"Kent!" cried Lyn as Serra made off with her knight.
"Seth!" Eirika wailed as Serra made off with hers.
"L'Arachel!" Ephraim groaned, sinking to his knees like a man defeated. Because, think about it—when a man's got anything to do with anything involving L'Arachel of Rausten, that man is DEFEATED.
"Cap'n Josh Sparrow?" Hector asked skeptically.
"Gilliam", said Gilliam slowly.
Eliwood clapped the green-clad knight on the shoulder. "Quite right, my friend. Quite right."
"So what do we do now?" Ephraim sighed despairingly from the ground.
"There's only one thing to do," Eliwood retorted determinedly. "Quick! To the Band Cave!"
After a quick clip of Eliwood's face zooming against a swirly background, old-comic-book-superhero-cartoon style, the scene was immediately shifted to the Dave Matthew's Band practice room…where all the band members were eagerly staring at Rennac.
"Alright." The Sacred Stones thief rubbed his hands together. "So you all want a dance routine, is that it?"
"Yes." Matthew nodded. "It can't be feminine at all, though."
"And it has to be snappy," Legault added. "It has to be cool and punk'd and…"
Jaffar said nothing, finishing the sentence.
"Gotcha," affirmed Rennac. "Alright…well, let's try this, then…"
He stood at the middle of the practice room, as Matthew, Jaffar, Legault, Nino, and Wil crowded around him. He cleared his throat, then burst out into a dance routine that we loved millennia ago and absolutely hate now:
"But it ain't no lie, baby BYE BYE BYE--!" he sang, before everyone in the band (except Nino and Jaffar) stuck out a hand and grabbed him by the throat.
"That…is…the exact…opposite…of what…we…want," they growled in unison.
"Besides, it's been done before," a bored voice drawled from the corner.
Matthew turned quickly to find Della slouching in the corner, piccolo still in hand. "You? Aww man…what are you doing here?"
"I don't know," she confessed with a shrug. "Goodness knows I should have had enough music for one marching band season. At least I didn't white out again."
Suddenly, bursting through the wall, came all the Grail Questers (Justice League Style)!
"A damsel in distress!" Eliwood cried, pointing at Della in a heroic fashion. "It looks like she needs…A COOKIE!"
Della's eyes lit up. "YEAH! GIMME GIMME GIMME!"
Eliwood reached into the pocket that conveniently appeared in his tunic…and Matthew, Wil, Hector, and Lyn immediately tackled him.
"What are you doing?" asked Eliwood. "My cookie sense is tingling!"
"Don't you remember what happened the last time you let Della have sugar?" Hector growled, using his heavily-armored body to keep his slender friend pinned to the floor.
Eliwood thought about it. "Actually…no. I don't. There seems to be a large blank in my memory…"
"And for good reason," muttered Matthew.
Just then, obnoxiously happy Latin American music came floating in through the window. The Dave Matthew's band instantly perked up their ears, the Lords and their knights instantly froze, Della instantly covered her mouth as her eyes widened in horror…and Nino instantly began to bob her head.
"This is really catchy," she giggled, now progressing from head-bobbing to doing a bit of a hop-step around the room.
"Somebody stop Nino!" Della cried, pointing desperately at the girl.
"Where are we going?" Nino sang cheerfully. "Random Castle! Where are we going? Random Castle? Where are we—"
"CHAIN 'ER DOWN, BOYS!" roared Matthew. Without hesitation, Jaffar sprinted across the room faster than the eye could follow and pinned Nino against the wall.
Nino continued to groove, swaying her body from side to side even though her wrists were firmly held to the wall by Jaffar. "Random Castle! Where are we going? Random Castle! Where—"
"NOOOOoooo!" Matthew, Legault, and Wil yelled. They quickly went to assist Jaffar in keeping Nino still.
Della was now wild-eyed, and her gaze darted around the room frantically. Her breathing grew shallow. "Oh noez. They're here. They're here."
"Who's here?" Eliwood asked, still trapped beneath Hector. The blue-haired lord was now sitting quite comfortably on Eliwood's back and unpeeling a banana.
"Dora," Della responded, her blue eyes haunted. "DORA IS HERE AND SHE'S GOING TO EAT US!"
"That's silly," scoffed Lyn. "Can't you hear that voice? It's only Isadora of Pherae. She is our ally, remember?"
"No ally of ours sings the 'Vamonos' song," Della mumbled, beginning to shake.
"Alright, that's it," growled Eliwood. With a mighty effort, he pulled himself from beneath Hector and rushed for Della.
"Hey!" Hector exclaimed indignantly, finding himself dumped quite unceremoniously onto the floor and his banana mashed quite unedibly in Gilliam's face (how that one happened, no one was quite sure of). "Since when have you been stronger than me?"
"Strength matters not!" Eliwood proclaimed, gesturing towards Della. "This here is a CHILD! A child in PERIL! I must aid her, at any cost!"
He grabbed Della's hand and struck an extremely heroic pose as Hector shook his head despairingly. "The Protect-The-Child Tirade…I should have known…"
"Indeed, you should have!" Eliwood cried grandly. "Now, where is my soapbox?"
He hunted around for a little while, but was unable to find it. Hector was now not the only one in the room who was completely exasperated.
The people in the Dave Matthew's Band Practice Room were also not the only ones who could hear Isadora the Explora's demonic song…there was also the Pyro Cult, up on the battlements. The sky above them was dark with thunderheads, the air seemed to be tinged with a haze of red…the world was on edge, crackling with tension as in the moments before a storm...and standing right in the midst of such a foreboding scene were four mages with a vast array of fire spells. Three of them were leaning forward in anticipation, eyes alight with the thrill that comes with power…and the fourth was stressing out. As usual.
"A little closer…" his teacher murmured, clutching his Forblaze tightly.
"Lord Pent," Erk protested nervously, "Do you really think it's wise to obliterate—"
"Erk," said the mage general calmly, "I want you to touch this Forblaze."
"Er…what?" asked Erk, baffled.
Pent offered him the book. "Here. Just touch it. Then you will understand everything."
Erk slowly reached out and hesitantly brushed the tip of his finger against the blood-red cover of the spellbook. Instantly an overwhelming power shot through him, setting every inch of him ablaze—no pun intended--with the desire to…
"BLOW UP ISADORA!" Erk cackled maniacally.
Saleh looked towards the purple-haired mage with approval in his eyes. "Your student learns quickly, Lord Pent."
"They call him a prodigy for a reason," Pent replied with a modest shrug.
"MINE BLOW UP MINE ISADORA MINE!" babbled Erk, snatching the Forblaze out of his master's hands and twirling around in a circle with it. Pent shrugged again and whipped out a Bolganone, knowing that his student was now far too busy to care about the fact that such a spell didn't appear until Radiant Dawn.
On the ground below, however, this magnificent and eerie portrait of inferno-related might was instantly replaced by…
A SUPER BRIGHT LATIN AMERICAN COLOR SCHEME!
And traveling and singing on this absurdly yellow path by some unbelievably green grass beneath a sunny blue sky was Isadora the Explora and her friends.
"Dora, Isadora the Explora!" sang Nils and Amelia.
"Lutes is super cool!" Three guesses who said that line. "Explora Isadora!"
"Grab your backpack!"
"Dear Saint Elimine, no--!" It was too late for Merlinus. He had been grabbed once more by Isadora and was being dragged along in the bright yellow dirt behind her horse.
"Let's go!" Isadora cheerfully chirped. "Jump in--!"
"Vamonos," a new voice interrupted, just as an extremely feminine-looking boy shrouded in black robes appeared in their path. That's right…Soren popped up to say the Spanish line. Again.
Isadora and Co. stared at him curiously, wondering why he had interrupted their song at that point for the second time, wondering who he was, wondering how he had gotten there when he was clearly not from FE7 or FE8, seeing as Lucius was the only guy who was actually most definitely a girl up until Path of Radiance was released.
But then Isadora realized that she shouldn't be wondering anything. This was a kiddie show—everything was predictable and repeated over and over, because repetition was good for developing brains. So surely this strange fellow was bound to disappear in a moment, just as he had the last time…yet Isadora waited and waited, and Soren still did not disappear.
"Why aren't you disappearing?" she asked, thus making her sentence a tad redundant in regards to the third use of the word "disappear" in two sentences, as is fitting for an Explora. The strange young man in black turned his blood-red eyes to the battlements of the Random Castle, smiled slightly, and replied:
"Porque quiero ver la escabechina."
"Que?" Isadora gasped, accidentally reverting to a whole 'nother language. She followed Soren's gaze to find…a whole bunch of mages, a whole bunch of fire spells, a sky that was dark and ominous and the exact opposite of their super bright Latin American color scheme, and a Charizard. The latter is best left unexplained.
"Dude," said Matthew, sticking his head out the window of the practice room and craning his neck to try and look up to the battlements. "I think Saleh just got a Charizard, yo."
Della's eye twitched. "Did you seriously just say that?"
Jaffar said nothing.
"I can't believe this!" The tactician buried her face in her hands. "All I want is a flippin' drink of water and a cookie and a cell phone with a better battery pack and a bonsai tree and the ability to transform into a duck! Does this really have to be so complicated as to involve a Charizard?"
"At least it can't get any worse," muttered Legault.
OH, LEGAULT, HOW VERY WRONG YOU ARE.
"Look, look!" cried Nino suddenly, trying to point out the window (and being severely hampered from this action, seeing as the entire Dave Matthew's Band was keeping her from dancing around much). "Isadora and the Pyro Cult look like they're about to fight!"
"That's what Jaffar just said," Legault snapped.
Jaffar said nothing.
"Yeah, don't yell at Nino, Legault!" seconded Matthew.
"And as if that wasn't enough," Colm sighed wearily, "Here comes somebody else!"
The thief gestured out to a lone, rather pathetic-looking, purple-haired knight. This new man galloped up to the Random Castle as a black, shadowy spectre exuding an aura of utmost evil hovered above him, singing cheerfully and clapping a pair of laguz stones together.
"His head smashed in and his heart cut out," Della sang along softly, "And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged—"
"HEY LOOK, ANOTHER KNIGHT!" hollered Eliwood excitedly. Unsheathing his rapier to make the moment—once again!--seem more epic, he charged out of the practice room and out of sight, with the rest of the lords and knight (Gilliam being the only one left) following.
The Demon King minstrel's song was starting to muffle the sounds of Isadora's song, so the band deemed it safe to let Nino go. She rubbed her sore wrists and looked around for a moment, as if snapping out of a trance…
"Oh, look!" she said suddenly, spotting something. "There, in that corner—is that Lord Eliwood's soapbox?"
Matthew hurried over, picked up the box, and gravely handed it to Wil.
"Take this," he urgently told his roadie, "and hide it so well that it will never be found again. None of us can last through another chivalrous speech."
Wil walked to the horizon, found an old and rotting and abandoned pirate ship, and stuffed the soapbox into one of its rusting cannons.
"Convenient," he murmured to himself, and dusted off his hands, pleased with a job well done…
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" hollered a voice that sounded peculiarly like Serra's. There was a flash of hot pink hair, the flicker of a hot red flame…
And a huge blast of hot explosives in Wil's face as the cannon went off, sending the soapbox flying up into the air and out of sight.
"Oh, look!" said Serra, peeking out from the hull of the decaying ship, "It's Wil! Also poor, also hardworking…also has a totally better name for this parody! Sorry Kent," she apologized, pulling the red knight into sight and pushing him out of the ship, "But we've found a more fitting Will Turner than you. He has brown hair. And his name is actually Wil, you understand…"
Kent swayed there for a moment, dizzy with a giddy joy, forgotten by Serra as she reached out and yanked the unfortunate Wil into the pirate ship. Free! Free to go back to Lady Lyndis! Free to aid in the noble quest! Free of Serra and L'Arachel and—
And then the soapbox plummeted from the sky and landed on Kent. His box-enclosed head could deduce that he was free no longer.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Lassie had rounded up a bunch of—
Okay, actually? Nobody cares about the ranch. Back to the…Random Castle!
After another clip of Eliwood's face pulsing against a swirly background, it became apparent that things at the Random Castle were not going well. The Pyro Cult was amassing their most powerful spell books and reciting tongue twisters to each other in preparation for some speed spell-casting, Isadora and Co. were desperately trying to think of a way to avoid said spells because Isadora started chanting "Fire is dangerous! Fire is dangerous! Fire is dangerous! Fire is—" and Nils and Amelia had begun to scream from the agony of ceaseless repetition…and a little ways away, rather unrelated to the rest of the scene, a meeting was taking place.
Eliwood, Eirika, Ephraim, Hector, Lyn, Gilliam, and a tactician whose eyes were replaced with little hearts of Lyon Fangirl Love were greeting the newest knight to cross their path.
"H-hello," he said timidly, "I'm B-brave Sir Lyon, and you must listen to me—"
"LET ME JOIN YOUR QUEST!" bellowed the menacing shadow above his head.
"I've been possessed by—"
"I'M SUPER BRAVE AND STRONG!" Fortmortiis hastily interrupted.
"I don't want to go along with the plots of Nerga—"
"I DOUBLE-MAJORED IN ENGINEERING AND AWESOMENESS!"
"Don't let me betray you--"
"I ALSO HAVE A CHICKEN ON MY SHIELD!"
"Eirika! Eirika, please--!"
"ER…UH…I REALLY ENJOY NACHOS!"
"Nachos!" said Hector, elbowing Eliwood with a grin. "Alright! I say we let this guy tag along on our adventures!"
"I agree," said Eliwood pleasantly. "It is very nice to make your acquaintance, Brave Sir Lyon."
Ephraim gave Grado's prince a once-over, and his face broke into a smile. "Yeah, Lyon, it was always way more fun to hang out with you than to hang out with Innes."
"I dare you to say that again, cur of Renais!" a voice rang out.
The Grail-Questers turned to find Innes up in the branches of Crei, with an arrow pointed directly at Ephraim's heart. Louise sat on a nearby branch, unarmed, just mildly watching the scene.
Ephraim smiled up at his rival and began, "Yeah, Lyon, it was always way more fun to hang out with you than to—"
Eirika clamped a hand over her brother's mouth, looking sufficiently irritated.
Meanwhile, Isadora had also spotted the snipers.
"Oh, no!" she gasped. "Sniper is back! He's going to try and snipe us!"
"How are we going to deal with snipers and pyros?" moaned Nils.
Isadora looked back towards Merlinus, a decidedly evil grin spreading across her features. "Well…we can always try our backpack."
"Noooo!" Merlinus yelped in terror, but it was too late…items appeared in midair and began flying in circles around the baffled merchant, who cringed and tried to bat them away: the FE10 skill Parity—which, as we all know, gives one the power to turn into a duck--, a bonsai tree, a cell phone with a durable battery, a cookie, and a glass bottle filled with water.
"AT LAST!" Della shrieked, rushing for the bottle and grabbing it. The rest of the items continued to circle the flailing Merlinus like a swarm of bees. "THE HOLY GRAIL!"
"But…" Eliwood cocked his head. "I thought you said that the Holy Grail would be made of wood, or stone, or clay, or glass."
"This IS glass!" insisted Della. "So much more eco-friendly than disposable plastic bottles and those unbreakable Nalgene ones!" And with that, she popped open the top and began to guzzle the water.
"Is that sacrilege?" Ephraim asked, furrowing his brow.
"Not sacrilege," Della corrected, stopping for air, "Salvation."
"So…" Eirika tried to piece together what was happening. "That's really our Holy Quest Item? That is what we have been trying to find all along?"
"Pssht, I don't know." Della shrugged. "But it's got water in it, and I sold my soul and countless hours of my life to go marching in the deadly heat of summer…so it's the gosh-darned Holy Grail to ME!"
Eliwood sighed. "Alright then. I assume this quest is over."
"Yes!" hissed Lyon.
"WAIT!" Fortmortiis roared. "THIS CAN'T END, YET! YOU ALL MUST STILL ADVENTURE WITH BRAVE SIR LYON!"
"We can do that," said Hector with a shrug. "We'll adventure to the nearest plate of nachos."
Everyone was just reaching an agreement about this when Kent wandered into their midst, still with a soapbox on his head.
"Oh, there it is!" Eliwood cooed delightedly.
Della raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Kent—what happened to you?"
The red knight managed to mumble something nearly incoherent along the lines of being held captive by a pair of screechy twin demons, and of a man with a silly hat who was redheaded and sword-wielding but not exactly chivalrous, and of how he had only escaped these monsters in exchange for the sanity, the soul, and surely the very life of poor Wil.
"How unjust!" Eliwood was shocked by tales of such mistreatment. He ripped his soapbox off of Kent's head, hopped onto it, and lifted his rapier high into the air. "It seems that we have another quest—to save Wil, and all others that Serra and L'Arachel have oppressed! I swear that I shall not rest until justice is restored to every animal, vegetable, or mineral—"
"What about vitamins?" Della voiced from where she was slouched against the wall of the Random Castle with her water bottle.
"Right, every animal, vegetable, vitamin, or mineral—"
"And lipids and nucleic acids."
"…And lipid and nucleic acid—"
"Oh, and proteins."
Eliwood was silent a minute. Finally he lifted his rapier again and cried, "What she said!"
"Yeah!" the other lords cheered in agreement.
"No!" wailed Lyon, but nobody paid attention to him. "You don't understand, I'll lead you all to doom—"
"NACHOS HAVE LOTS OF LIPIDS!" cried the Demon King elatedly.
Della wrinkled her nose. "Indeed. And although I usually love disgustingly greasy foods…right now I just want a cookie. And a cell phone with a good battery and a bonsai tree and the ability to transform into a duck."
That was when the tactician noticed that everything she had just listed was currently flying around a terrified Merlinus. Her face lit up with glee, she lunged for the spinning items--
…Yet just as she was about to reach them, they all swiftly crammed themselves down Merlinus' gullet. The force of this knocked the merchant to the ground.
"Uhg…" Merlinus groaned, his stomach swelled to thrice its usual gigantic size. "Delicioso…?"
"Prepare yourself for death, Ephraim!" cried Innes haughtily, irritated with being ignored for so long.
"And prepare yourself for third degree burns, also!" called Saleh helpfully from the top of the battlements. "You wouldn't want to be dead and then have to deal with burns!"
Nils and Amelia covered their heads, whimpering, "What are we going to do?"
And then, just as every fire spell was about to be launched, just as Innes was about to let an arrow fly, just as Della was about to stick her hand down Merlinus' throat and pull out the gosh-darned Parity…two high, keening voices called,
The thief winced from the window of the Dave Matthew's Band practice room, recognizing the voices right away. There was no hope for him, now. There was no salvation.
Because over the horizon, moving through the very land itself, was a great big pirate ship. And on this great big pirate ship was a man with long red hair and a ridiculous hat, a tied-up and miserable-looking Seth in a white wig, an even more tied-up and even more miserable-looking Wil…and Serra and L'Arachel, standing way up on the bow and cackling evilly.
"We'll show you what happens to men that run out on us, Rennac!" L'Arachel declared triumphantly.
"You too, Erk!" screeched Serra.
Up on the battlements, our favorite purple-haired magic user (no, not Canas, the other one) snapped out of his Forblaze-induced trance. He quickly registered the scene—Brave Sir Lyon meeting Lord Eliwood's party of Grail-Questers, Isadora the Explora and her entourage staring up at him in adorable and brightly-colored Latin American fear, and Serra…on a pirate ship…that was sailing through the ground.
Erk twitched. "M-master…it doesn't make sense!"
"Calm down, Erk!" Pent urged. "It's alright—nothing really makes sense, nowadays!"
But Erk was past being calm: "It…doesn't…make…sense!"
Sharp, static bolts of magic crackled unconsciously from his fingers, as it would from a short-circuiting robot, and Saleh cringed away in fear.
"Lord Pent," he called, "Get a hold of your student!"
"There's nothing we can do!" Pent yelled back. "The laws of physics have been broken…again! He just can't take it!"
"IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"
"Erk's gonna explode!" cried Della frightfully from the grounds.
"What are we going to do?" asked Eirika.
"We need to stop him, before his power kills us all!" Ephraim insisted desperately.
"Everyone, everyone, quiet down!" cried Eliwood grandly, paternally. He spoke to them as he would to very small children. "It's going to be okay!"
"What's your plan, Eliwood?" Lyn asked, grabbing his sleeve.
The lord shot her an incredulous look and gestured down to the surface he was standing on. "Why, I've got to give a chivalrous speech, of course!"
Hector immediately gave Eliwood a SMACK-DOWN. Then he stomped on the soapbox until it was nothing but splinters.
"Alright," he growled to the tactician, "You're the one with all the plans…what now?"
Della thought for a moment, studying her surroundings—half of the sky was dark, stormy, rife with formidable power…and the other half was the cloudless blue of…
A SUPER BRIGHT LATIN AMERICAN COLOR SCHEME!
"Tomorrow's forecast," the tactician said softly, pointing towards that bi-colored sky. "Partly cloudy…with a chance of ARMAGEDDON."
"No!" gasped Eirika. Ephraim immediately went to put a protective hand on her shoulder, Lyn threw herself into Kent's arms, Hector's face darkened at the news…
Well, no one was in a good mood.
It made Eliwood sad.
"Would anybody like a cookie?" he asked gently from the ground.
"ME--!" Della began, but the arrow that Innes had nocked all this time suddenly flew towards her and pinned her sleeve to the wall, just as Hector sat down on Eliwood's back again to ensure that no more pansiness could escape to taint this chapter.
Jaffar said nothing.
"You're right," Legault agreed nervously, "This is very bad. The Questers, Isadora, The Pyros, and that crazy pirate ship are going to get into a huge and epic battle."
Matthew stretched nonchalantly and began walking towards the door. "That's cool. Call me when it happens."
"And where are you going?" demanded Legault.
Matthew smirked at his fellow thief over his shoulder. "To go get a snack."
A/N: Well, I guess nobody remembers this, but in the earlier chapters of this fic Matthew was always leaving to go get a snack…
As for what Soren says? "Porque quiero ver la escabechina" means—if I got it right--"Because I want to see the bloodbath". No lie. My Spanish-English dictionary is really violent, for some reason…every time I open it, I find a word like "dagger" or "tears" or "bloodbath". So bizarre.
Well, I guess that's all I have to say…as always, a review would make my whole day! Hooray! (Holy crap…that whole thing rhymed…)