Wilson was convinced that he was dreaming. Reluctantly, he pulled away from House's kiss and stared at him, eyes wide with surprise.
"What? I thought you liked me," House said dejectedly.
"I do," Wilson said, unsure of how to act or what to say. He reached out and touched House's face, trying to assure himself that House was real and that he wasn't, in fact, still asleep.
"Oh… the stubble. Sorry, comes with the package," House said as he rubbed his cheek.
Wilson turned over onto his back and looked up at House who was hovering over him.
"Tell me I'm not dreaming," he said.
"You're not dreaming."
"Tell me so I'll believe you," he said, his insides turning somersaults. He wanted so much to be awake and for this to be real.
"It's not what you say, it's what you do," House said softly, a wicked smile creeping across his lips. He laid his palm on Wilson's chest and slowly slid it down towards the waistband of Wilson's boxers. He stopped.
Wilson suddenly realized his heart was racing and that he was holding his breath. His eyes darted from House's hand to his face, trying to make some sense out of what was happening. He took a few deep breaths attempting to calm himself, but didn't say anything.
"Shall I keep going?" House asked as he lifted the waistband of Wilson's boxers and slid his fingers back and forth along the material.
Wilson wanted more than anything for House to continue, but he was still too disoriented from waking up moments ago. He sat up abruptly; House's hand fell to the bed.
"Dr. Wilson, you are a tease," House said with a hint of a smile.
They sat staring at each other in the darkness, sexual tension permeating the room.
"Do you really want this?" Wilson whispered. His emotions were whirling into a blend of sexual excitement, trepidation, joy and a hint of anger. He wasn't sure if House was playing with him. Maybe if he wasn't so exhausted, and if House hadn't jolted him out of a deep sleep, his mind would be clearer.
"I'm not sure what you mean by 'this'," House said quietly. "But I do know that I want to make you feel good… and I want to sleep with you in my bed tonight." His voice sounded sincere. "And what do you want?" House asked.
"I… I want …". Wilson stopped talking and leaned forward, grabbing House's t-shirt and pulling him closer, drawing their lips together. The kiss was tender and soft; feather wisps of tongue exchanged between the two, but neither man attempted to escalate it further. House placed one hand on Wilson's hip and the other behind his back, drawing him closer. Wilson's hands were clutching House's t-shirt, subconsciously trying to keep him from pulling away. Wilson didn't want this to end.
They continued kissing for a few minutes, House finally breaking the kiss. Wilson looked at him but couldn't read his face. "What?" he asked, quietly.
House looked away from him and ran his fingers through his hair. He turned back to look at Wilson. "I uh…I…" He stopped talking.
Wilson's heart sank. This was all a mistake, but he couldn't fault House. Wilson had been the one who had wanted this and House had tried to give it to him. He cursed himself; what had he been thinking? He never should've said anything. He felt as if his entire friendship with House had ended in these few moments. And it was entirely his fault… why couldn't he leave well enough alone?
He turned towards the side of the bed and started to get out, but was stopped by House grabbing his wrist. "Where are you going?" House asked, a worried expression on his face.
Wilson sighed. "Look, House, I'm sorry," he said, looking away. "I never should've said anything; it was a stupid mistake. I'll spend the rest of the night in the spare bedroom and grab a cab first thing in the morning." Wilson started to get out of the bed again. House grabbed his wrist even harder.
"What are you sorry about?" he asked. Had Wilson been looking at him, he would've seen the confusion on House's face. "I'm certainly not sorry."
Wilson turned back to face him. "What do you have to be sorry for?"
"Well, if memory serves, I'm the one who woke you out of a sound sleep to fondle you, not the other way around…"
"I know, House, but I'm the one who told you I wanted this in the first place. You were only doing this for me…."
House cut him off. "Since when do I things for people when I don't get something in return?" he asked sharply. "And that includes you."
Wilson furrowed his brow attempting to figure this out. "So… what are you saying? That you liked it?"
"Yes, Dr. Wilson, I'm saying that I liked it. That was by far the best action I've had in a very long time," he said, a smile flickering across his lips. "And that includes watching Cuddy bounce across the lobby in her low cut blouses and that hooker masseuse you hired for me."
"But…you… I thought…"
"What," House asked impatiently. "You thought what?"
"You acted like you didn't like it…. "
"I did?" House asked surprised, his eyebrows raised. "That's news to me."
"You turned away." It hurt Wilson just to say those words.
House slowly shook his head. "Dr. James Wilson, the boy wonder oncologist, who possesses not only super human hearing and an adorable little ass to die for, but who sucks at making the right call in bed," House said, a hint of annoyance in his voice.
Wilson shrugged his shoulders. "I just don't want to mess up our friendship," he said avoiding House's gaze.
House sighed. "Look, Wilson, I don't know what your sex life was like with your wives and girlfriends, but if I have something to say in or out of the bedroom, I'll say it," House said.
"So…. you're saying I don't have to read your thoughts and anticipate what you want." Wilson mulled over in his mind what he had just said. "Wow, what a concept."
"Read my thoughts and anticipate what I want?" House asked, incredulously. "You're kidding, right?"
Wilson shook his head. "Dr. House, you have no idea."
"No wonder you want to sleep with a guy," House said, shuddering. "So…. you thought I wasn't interested."
"Uh…. yeah, that's what I thought."
"And you supposedly read my thoughts?"
"I never said I was good at it."
"Dr. Wilson, that is an understatement," House said as he reached out and whisked away a lock of stray hair from Wilson's forehead. "And all that nonsense is just one reason why I often prefer sleeping with men," House said.
"Not to mention that annoying cuddling thing that women seem to insist on doing after sex," House added. "Don't they realize I need my sleep?" He smirked.
"What are you talking about, House?" Wilson asked, a total look of confusion on his face.
House said nothing; he crossed his arms across his chest and looked at Wilson.
"House, you sleep with guys?" Wilson's mouth was wide open.
"You look surprised," House said, smiling. "But I haven't in quite some time," he qualified.
"Surprise doesn't cover it," Wilson said. He thought for a moment. "And you like it?"
"That's a stupid question," House snapped. "I just told you that I never do anything without getting something in return."
"Why did you stop?" asked Wilson, totally fascinated by House's revelation.
"What makes you think I stopped?"
"Let's just say, circumstances precluded my continuing."
"I fell in love with Stacy," House said quietly.
"Oh," Wilson said looking down. He returned his gaze to House. "And now?"
"Dry spell…. on both sides," House said. "Well, until tonight anyway."
"Did you do it just for the sex?"
"My, my, Dr. Wilson, I guess you're the curious type after all," House quipped. "No….well, yes… but I also had relationships."
"Wow", Wilson mumbled to himself, rubbing the back of his neck.
They both sat silently for a few moments.
"Okay, so now you know," House said. "And, you, Dr. Wilson, what haven't you told me?" he asked, eyes boring into Wilson's.
Wilson looked at House, a questioning look on his face. They stared at each other for a few moments, and then Wilson understood what House was asking him. His eyes opened wide. "What…. how could you know that?"
"Call it a hunch," House said. A doubtful expression settled on Wilson's face. "Well, duh," House barked, "you wanted to sleep with me; no straight guy wants to sleep with another guy no matter how much he likes him." Wilson nodded slowly, then shrugged his shoulders. "And then there's that entire overcompensation thing," House added.
"What 'overcompensation thing'?" Wilson asked annoyed.
"Three marriages, flirting with anything in a skirt, comments about women's breasts. Shall I go on?"
"Okay, House. So I'm transparent."
"Why didn't you want me to know?" House asked, crossing his arms across his chest again.
"It's not that I didn't want you to know," Wilson tried to explain. He thought for a moment. "Well…maybe it was. But I was going to tell you." He looked into House's eyes, sincerity apparent in his own.
"So now we're here," House said, rubbing his forefinger along his chin in contemplation.
He took a deep breath and looked into Wilson's eyes. "Look James, what I wanted to say earlier was that…right now… this is enough for me," he said quietly. 'I still need you to give me some time; I can't do this again and expect to come out alive if things don't work out." He paused. "So, are you okay with that?"
Wilson nodded; he understood exactly what House was talking about. "Yeah, House, I'm good, I mean, you're good… " He shook his head in frustration. "I'm actually quite good with that."
"Yes, Dr. Wilson, you are quite good," House said as he leaned forward and kissed Wilson again. Wilson responded, kissing House so passionately, House almost changed his mind. He pulled back. "Jesus, Wilson, you should patent that."
"It would be a waste of time and money," Wilson said. "It only works for you."
"Yeah, and you also have a bridge to sell me," House said smiling, as he carefully got out of bed and stood up, holding onto the headboard for leverage. "Move over so I can get under the covers," he said.
Wilson slid over to make room. House sat down on the edge of the bed and lifted his left leg up, using his hands to help get his right leg into position. Wilson, still sitting up, settled the blanket over both of them as he watched House get comfortable. House looked up at him.
"What, are you going to watch me all night?" he asked.
Wilson didn't answer. He turned over onto his stomach and slid closer to House, laying his head on the pillow and resting his left arm across House's chest. House interlaced the fingers of his right hand with Wilson's left.
"See you in the morning," House said sleepily. "Oh yeah, I forgot to ask… you don't snore, do you?"
"If I do you can kick me out of bed," Wilson said smiling, his eyes closed.
"Not a chance."
"Remind me to thank your Mother."