Edible Underwear and All that Stuffing

By: ForbidenMaggiks

Disclaimer: Don't sue! This is all in good free fun!

Author's Notes: You've hopefully been reading my other Harry Potter fanfic I thought I'd make this one a little bit funnier! I've had this idea for a long time, hope you like, REVIEW!

Chapter 1

God and His Free Samples!

It will be the talk of the century, at least at Hogwarts. Colin Creevey was god…and not just any god he was the GOD, his camera the instrument of god and lingerie…well lets just say the icing on the cake, the silver lining if you will…and oh how little it lined which would be much to the approval of the male occupants of every boys dormitory.

The newest addition of Hogwarts privately owned and distributed, yearly calendar had arrived and sales couldn't have been better. It had started innocently enough with pictures of the schools dormitories and Hogsmeade hot spots, the sales hadn't been bad but they could have been a lot better. It was the start of a beautiful thing a yearly calendar for the boys only and although Slytherins ridiculed they quickly shout there mouths when one of the calendars came out featuring the hottest brooms out there with there favorite Quidditch teams. Alas it could not stay as untainted as it had started for boys tend to turn into boys who think there men. Thus 'The Hottest Girls in Hogwarts' issue was born.

The hottest of the hot in all there uniformed clad glory, the next issue gave way to the young women in causal wear and the balls Dumbledore threw in between the holidays gave way to the formal wear issue. Only to give raise to the holiday themed calendar which had all agreeing Miss Claus never looked better, there was more than one way to picture the Easter bunny, and Thanksgiving wasn't just for the Americans.

But this was before Colin was to become GOD…

Some time between 'The sexist Quidditch Player' and 'Most Tempting Temptress in House Colors" Colin had strayed form the moral path that was landscape photography and with all the secret attention he was getting from the male student body Colin and his little camera sought more.

Before the 'Holiday's Play Dates,' which had made thinking of the Easter Bunny a naughty thought indeed all of the photo's had been taken without there true purpose being revealed most girls didn't even think twice of where'd they end up. It had been a lucky break the summer of 4th year when Dumbledore had announced allowing use of the lake as every ones personal pool but luck had just run out the summer before 6th term.

Swimsuits were only great for so long, he had needed something new something great and that was where great female friends came into play.

In an act of great desperation Colin had used his time on the train ride home at the end of 5th year to take aside 12 young ladies and persuade them to be his models.

The deal was simple enough, several of them had even provided ideas of there own resulting in the scantily clad scandal which would be set lose two weeks before the end of summer.

It was perfect; each girl would model a particular piece of lingerie for 200 galleons a piece, nothing to racy, unless they wanted in which case they were welcomed to, but each girl would be wearing a mask and all things to easily identified would be removed. Examples were given as your boyfriend liked to leave a hick on your neck it would be removed or if your hair was clearly died an unnatural color it would be changed and if you had curly hair it would be made straight and vice versa.

Now the game of it all was much more of a sealing of the deal than pure fun, the boys would when purchasing the calendar place make a simple wager on the identity of each fare lady and the one to get the identity of all 12 ladies would win half the pool. If no one could guess all twelve than it would go to the young man whom could guess the most of the lot and he would win a bit less than half the pool.

But, there was something else something more enticing, of course the amount of bets and the chances of getting all the girls correct were high especially if you placed your who's who bet more than once so to discourage that more than one time offender a very special prize was set for the one who would guess all 12 ladies correctly in one shot…that lucky sod would get the honor of posing for the month of his choosing in the next calendar with all twelve ladies.

So good luck and god bless was all there was left to say in the letters Mr. Creevey had sent out with the copy of his calendar to all who were smart enough to order.


All who compete have from the moment you step on the platform of nine and three quarters to the end of the Sorting Hat Ceremony Feast to enter your bets.

Enjoy and Good Luck, and as an after thought try not to attract any attention to yourselves and especially not to the calendars. Remember the Headmaster, Professors, and most of the girls are not aware the calendars excise. Be smart because if anything comes back to me I will inform the male student body who the idiot was that let it slip.

Author's Notes: YEAH! I hope you like! Please REVIEW, tell me what you think! Bye!