Harry Potter and the Time They Just Sat There For 300 Pages

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I just have too much free time.

Harry Potter and his best friends, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasely sat in the garden one fine, sunny day enjoying a spot of tea and some biscuits. Much had happened the past year at school, and they had decided to take some time off to just sit and relax.

"More tea, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, please," said Harry.

"You know what, guys?" Ron asked.

"What?" the others asked in unison.

"Well, I've been thinking, and quite frankly, I'm sick of going to school, having adventures, and doing interesting things. I'd much rather sit here for the rest of my life. To hell with school. To hell with...You-Know-Who. To hell with everything. In fact, not only do I wish to sit here, I'm going to be a pessimistic bitch about everything. Who's with me?"

They sat and pondered for a bit. It was a tempting idea. Harry was sick of having more responsibility than any other person in the entire wizarding world, and Hermione was finding it harder and harder each year to find time to read between helping her friends save the world and whatnot.

"Yeah, alright," shrugged Harry.

"Fine by me," said Hermione indifferently.


And so they sat. They sat. And they drank tea. And ate biscuits. And though it wasn't nearly as exciting as what they would normally do, it was a lot more relaxing. And so, for 300 pages, they sat. But not only did they sit; they sat and discussed everything from politics, to favorite types of cookies, to who would look the funniest with no left nostril. They knew eventually they would run out of biscuits, but right now, they didn't care. They also discussed why they didn't care. No one came to any conclusion. Then they giggled and tittered like school girls about they time Snape had sleep-walked around the corridors in sparkly pink undergarments. Ah, it was a fine day. A fine day indeed.

300 pages later...

Eventually Harry said "I think we've sat for a good 300 pages...Wanna do something else now?"

Hermione burst out "Let's knit pot holders!"

"Yeah!" Ron exclaimed.

And so they wandered off to knit pot holders, while elsewhere all society collapsed and many witches and wizards were brutally slaughtered by the Dark Lord, and no one gave a damn.