Mystery Head-Cold Theatre 3000 presents:

Taming the Wolf of Mibu

By Shirou Shinjin.

Disclaimer: I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

This story also contains sections quoted verbatim from Maigo-chan's translations of the Rurouni Kenshin manga.

Additional Disclaimer: This story was written whilst the author was sick and not at all right in the head.


"Shibumi, you made one mistake. You Ishin Shishi think that you were the only ones who built the Meiji era, but we on the Bakufu side also wagered our lives, even as the losers. The reason I obey the government as a secret agent is to dispose of the ticks that feed on it, as my duty as a surviving member of the Shinsengumi. Be he Okubo or anyone else, if one who drowns in his own desires harms this country, "Kill Evil Instantly"—I'll cut him down."

"Wa... wait! If you want money, I'll—"

"You tame a dog with food. You tame a man with money. But there is nothing that can tame a Mibu—"

"Hajime!"

"Oh hell."

"Hajime! There you are! Shizuru-kun said you'd be here. Now, which do you think is better—the blue Kimono or the green one?"

"Tokio, I hardly think this is the time to—"

"What are you talking about, anata? We're going to the theatre tonight... don't you remember?"

"Listen, I have important business to—"

"What? More important than your wife?"

"You... you're married?"

Sigh "What is it that makes it so hard for people to accept that I'm married!"

"Get over it, dear. Now—blue or green?"

"I'm in the middle of killing this man..."

"Oh he'll still be there in a moment." Tokio leaned over to the cowering Shibumi. "He'll be with you in a moment, good sir."

"Oh, uh... take your time, please."

"Now. Hajime..."

"... The blue one."

"Yatta! Alright, I'll go change, you finish your business in here, and then we head for the theatre!" She leaned over a gave Saito a quick peck on the cheek. "Have fun, and don't be too long. Sorry for disturbing you, Shibumi-san!"

"Please don't go..."

"Now, where was I? Oh yes... my character development monologue. AHEM You tame a man with money. But there is nothing that can tame a Miburo."

"Except your wife."

"Yes, fine—nothing except my wife. Happy now?"

"Not especially."

"Too bad. Aku soku zan!"


Author's Rambling

This one popped into my head when I first got my cold. Odd little thing... I always thought that Tokio would have to be an incredible woman to keep a leash on Saito. I just love the idea of her casually popping into a room in the middle of a swordfight (or even, say, an execution) and not being phased in the slightest.

And although it's very, very naughty, I do so love breaking the fourth wall...

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

24th September, 2005