All characters belong to their respective creators; this story may not be distributed on a profit-making basis.
By Marcus L. Rowland
"BACK AGAIN?" asked a hollow voice.
"Looks like it," said Daniel, staring at his own crushed corpse, torn apart by staff shots and explosive decompression. "What happens now?"
"YOU COULD ASCEND."
"Been there, done that, threw away the shirt. They don't want me back."
"THERE IS MORE THAN ONE TYPE OF ASCENSION." Death's scythe cut a rip in the fabric of space and time. The scene looked like a graduation ceremony. As Daniel watched the speaker convulsed and turned into a gigantic snake, and began to attack the students.
"What the hell is that?"
"A FORMER CLIENT. HE BELIEVED THAT ASCENDING AS A GIGANTIC DEMON WOULD SOLVE ALL HIS PROBLEMS." Daniel watched as the students fought back, and the snake chased a girl into a building. Seconds later the building exploded. "HE WAS WRONG. I NEEDED A VERY LARGE SCYTHE..." The rip closed again.
"I don't think that's quite my line," said Daniel. "Got anything a little less... um... mystical?"
"A TEACHING POST?"
"Sounds more my speed."
"VERY WELL. ENJOY YOUR NEW LIFE." Death cut another opening, and pushed Daniel towards it.
There was a moment of dizziness, then Daniel... wait a minute, who was Daniel? The professor shook his head, felt disorientated for a second, then snapped back to the here and now. There was a class to teach, and some fascinating research notes to read. He pushed open double doors and walked to the podium.
He wrote the date on the blackboard, August 5th 1934, then said "Okay, welcome to Archaeology 101. I'm Professor Indiana Jones, and we'll begin by considering..."
Crossover with Discworld, Buffy, and Indiana Jones.