Anything that can go wrong...

Author's Notes: Hey there! Just a random S/J ship fic...humourous but maybe not to everyone's taste. This isn't set in any specific timeframe, but it's before Sam leaves the SGC :)

Synopsis - Sam and Jack face the day from hell.

Chapter One - Morning Blues mornings..lazy days...lying in bed...oh crap...

Sam's happy inner monologue came to sudden halt when she saw her alarm clock. It read 10.54am.


Sam sighed and turned to look at her other half, fast asleep. She desperately wanted to wake Jack up, but he was on leave, and he looked so peaceful lying there after all.

She placed a kiss on his forehead, and slipped out of bed, waiting until she was in the hall before making a mad dash to her laundry room.

Upon reaching the room, she located her greens. Crushed, worn, but she didn't have another change.

Was it greens they were wearing today? Never mind...Daniel wouldn't blow a gasket.

Would he?

She plugged in the iron and began to do her pants which were a crumpled mess. her eyes scanned the room, and her mind scanned her memory, looking to see if there was anything she'd missed.

"Socks socks socks." she murmered to herself, wandering away from the iron.

There were none in the laundry room, and with a small growl, she returned to the bedroom.

She snuck another look at Jack, fast asleep, snoring, and dribbling all over his pillowcase. His brand new pillowcase. Luxury percale and part of a very expensive set. Superior quality with a higher thread count...and comfy as anything.

"For crying out..." she started to shout at him, but his face was filled with that lovely, childlike look he only got whilst in deep slumber. She trailed off, opting to ignore the mess he was making.

"Socks...where are you?" Sam mumered, trying to locate her favourite stripy knee-high toe socks.

Sam's secret passion was socks...stripy socks, polka dot socks. If ever she was in a bad mood or was stressed at work, she'd simply roll up her leg, see her socks in all their technicolour glory, and would suddenly feel a lot better.

Of course, Mr 'My-washing-machine-eats-socks-therefore-I-only-wear-odd-ones' though she was mad.

She sent another glare in Jack's direction.

Locating a pair of polka dot knee highs, Sam got up, task complete, and turned to leave the room. She looked at where she'd been lying last night and noticed something...

"Crap!" she cried and ran off to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Sam was in the bathroom, having opted to wash before getting dressed (seeing as she was still half asleep). She looked again at her mental list.

Get Washed

Brush Teeth

Style hair

Do the ironing

Get Jack out of be-


Sam seriously regretted getting the sprinkler system fitted.

Huh? Was Jack's waking thought.

"What the?"

The room was filled with firemen, and then Jack noticed he was drenched, covered in water from the sprinkler system.

"It's okay sir...There's no fire, but we were dispatched automatically."

"What's going on?"

"Your Wife left the iron down on her pants...The smoke alarm went off and with this being the home of a high-ranking military officer, we were automatically scrambled."

"I'm soaked, and I don't have a wife!" Jack whined.

"We'll have to get you outside until we can shut of the system and start doing a risk assesment as the sprinklers may have caused electrical faults."

"But...but...I'm in my underpants!"

"I'm sorry sir."

Sam stood on the front lawn, mortified.

A small crowd had gathered round, and a group of teenagers were obviously relishing the chance to see Lt Colonel Samantha Carter wrapped only in a towel.

A car drove by, and Sam immediately recognised it as Teal'c's SUV.

"Aw no!"

"Sam? What's going on?" She heard Daniel's voice.

"'s a long story, really." She babbled.

"Is Jack okay?"

"I uh...oh crap." Sam said, on seeing a raging mad Jack being escorted out in his boxers.

Of course, this recieved a cheer from the teenagers.

"Oh go back to school!" He shouted at the top of his voice.

It worked, the louts scattered like cockroaches.

"I'm a dead Colonel."

"Indeed." Teal'c said gravely.

"Sam!" Jack spat.

"Bye!" Daniel smiled in sympathy before legging it, Teal'c not far behind.

"Jack...heya...Yeah I know you're mad but..."

"Mad? I'm standing on my girlfriend's front lawn in front of half the neighbourhood, soaking wet, wearing the oldest pair of boxers I own...and I'm a MAJOR GENERAL for crying out loud! You realise what my boss will say?"

"I uhm..."

"What happened?" Jack changed the subject, grabbing a tinfoil blanket off of one of the firemen.

"I realised I'd slept in for work, so I got up and started getting ready...You're on leave, so I left you asleep. I was ironing my uniform when I decided to go and get socks, that's when I noticed I'd taken and ran off to the bathroom, and then when I was in the bathroom, the smoke alarm went off, and the fire brigade were here within two minutes."

Jack shivered slightly, before pulling Sam in for a hug.

"Ms Carter...It's safe to go back inside now." The Fire Chief informed them.

And as Jack pulled away from Sam to go back to the house, Sam's towel dropped unceremoniously to the ground.