Title: The Nighttime is the Right Time
Summary: It's too scandalous for daytime.
Author's note: Follows current storylines with the exception of NiCo. They never happened, but Jax and Courtney are involved in the surrogacy and Jason lost his memory.
I apologize right now, since the characters will be slightly out of character…although really, what's in character for them now?
Rated M. Turn away now if you aren't old enough to be reading this, it's definitely not one for the kiddies… It is however, dedicated to Splendor734.
"I'll try and be home by eleven tomorrow but if not, I'll definitely be home in time for dinner."
"That's fine." Courtney kept her voice light as her husband moved around their living room. She supposed she could have helped him pack for his trip, but instead she sat on the sofa, painting her toenails. She smiled satisfactorily at the deep burgundy color. It was a far cry from the tasteful pale pink she wore on her fingers. "Do you want dinner here or should we go out?"
"Let's go out," Jax said with a grin. "Maybe I'll take you to New York for the night?"
She shook her head as she capped the nail polish bottle and stood up. "Can't, Elizabeth has a doctor's appointment early the next morning and you promised we'd be there." She straightened Jax's tie and smoothed his jacket over his shoulders. "I'll make reservations someplace we haven't been in awhile," she added. "Have a safe trip."
"Don't get too lonely tonight," he teased as he bent to kiss her. She turned her head quickly and his kiss landed on her cheek. "I love you."
"Love you too," she returned before closing the door behind him. She pressed her forehead against the door and listened as the elevator doors slid open and shut before moving back into the living room and cleaning up her pedicure supplies. A glance at the clock on the wall told her it was later than she thought it was. She didn't have much time.
Courtney headed for the bathroom, pausing to grab a glass of wine on her way. She fiddled with the shower faucets until steam quickly filled the small room. She moved to the bedroom next, peeling off the cream colored dress shirt and matching skirt the whole way there. Twisting her long hair up into a knot, she went back into the bathroom and stepped under the hot spray. She relaxed instantly, the stress of the last few weeks melting away in the steam.
She sighed, reaching one arm out of the shower and feeling around for her wine glass. Jax had been home for four days now, since his last business trip and it had been the most consecutive days they had spent together in nearly three months. When he came home from work tonight, saying he needed to leave immediately to make a morning meeting it was all she could do not to jump for joy. It was terrible, she knew that, but it was so much easier to pretend when he wasn't around.
Pretend. If she hadn't been in the shower she would have laughed at the word. From her happy marriage to her soon to be ready made family, what wasn't she pretending anymore? She couldn't help the smile from forming as her tongue darted over her upper lip, catching a missed drop of wine.
She wasn't pretending she was having an affair, that was for damn sure. She might pretend it wasn't the most awful thing she had done in her life but she couldn't pretend that she didn't love it all the same.
Oh it was wrong, she knew that, and the fact that she was sleeping with another man coupled with her earlier flirtation with Nikolas would give the matriarchs of Port Charles something to gossip about for months if they were to find out about how she had spent the last three weeks but she found she didn't care as much as she should.
She still loved Jax but he was never around anymore and even when he was, he was more concerned with Elizabeth and their baby and while she wasn't exactly jealous of their close bond, she wasn't happy with it either.
Despite her best efforts, Courtney had fallen prey to the same fate as that of the bored and desperate housewives she herself had often gossiped about in the past.
But damn, was it fun.
Courtney couldn't remember the last time she had been to Jake's and she wasn't even sure why she had chosen this particular bar in the first place but as she pushed the door open and stepped inside she was determined to have a good time. She wasn't four steps into the seedy bar before her eyes landed on him.
She approached him carefully, remembering what she had heard about his condition. One more glance around the place told her Sam wasn't with him and she wondered what he was doing here in the first place.
"Jason," she said softly, her hand falling onto his shoulder. He looked up from his beer and stared at her for a moment before finally speaking.
"I know you?"
She nodded slightly, unsure of how much he knew. "Yeah, you do." He gestured for her to sit across from him so she did.
She chuckled at that. "I'm Courtney. We were married."
"Nice." His eyes took her in, from her toes up. "So you didn't care that I killed people for a living either?" He took another drink of his beer.
"Actually, that's why we divorced," she admitted. "I wasn't okay with it at all."
Jason shook his head. "That's fucking beautiful, I divorce the person who doesn't like me killing people and am supposed to stay with the one that approves of it?"
She tilted her head to the side, surprised at his choice of words. "It was a lot more than that," she said softly.
He shrugged. "If you say so. " He finished his beer and signaled for the waitress. "Do you want something to drink?" He asked for two more bottles before Courtney could answer. He looked back at her. "You wouldn't be here if you didn't want a drink," he said logically.
She shrugged. "Maybe you've had enough?" she suggested. She wasn't surprised when he laughed at her.
"I'm not drunk," he assured her. "Not yet." He nodded as the waitress set down their drinks and handed on to Courtney. "Drink up."
"Thanks." She raised the bottle to her lips and watched as Jason's eyes fell on her wedding rings.
"So what are you and your husband fighting about?"
"Who says we're fighting?"
"You're here," Jason looked around the bar pointedly. "without him. And I'm thinking this isn't a bar people come to when they're in a good mood."
"True." Courtney lifted her shoulders in a slight shrug. "So you and Sam are fighting?"
He looked at her for a long moment and Courtney fought the urge to laugh because it was such a typical Jason look and he didn't even know it. "Do you really want to know or are you just asking to be nice?" he asked finally.
"Being nice," she admitted. She took another drink. She liked this, having no pretenses with him and it gave her an idea. "How about this? We sum up our problems in one sentence each and then for the rest of the time we're here we won't bring either up again."
"Okay," Jason agreed. "She means well, but I can't handle Sam hovering over me twenty four hours a day trying to get me to remember."
Courtney nodded. "Your ex-girlfriend is carrying my husband's child because I can't."
"I'll drink to that." Jason motioned for another round.
"I'm not done with this one," Courtney protested.
"Start drinking then."
She sent him one last look before picked up her bottle and raising it to her lips again. She wasn't sure but she had an idea where this all would lead to and as the bitter liquid settled warmly in her stomach she wondered how she would put a stop to it.
Courtney set the empty wine glass back on the edge of the sink and released the clip from her hair as she turned around under the shower.
Ten minutes later she turned off the now tepid water and cursed softly as she realized she hadn't brought a towel into the bathroom with her. She drew the shower curtain back and shrieked.
"Jesus!" She pressed a hand to her heart and shook her head. "You scared the hell out of me."
"Sorry," he said without sounding sorry at all. "I used my key."
"Well that's why I gave it to you." She eyed the towel he held in his hands. "You wanna hand that over?"
His eyes raking over her naked body unapologetically as he shook his head. "Come and get it.""
Courtney caught her lower lip between her teeth and smiled slightly as she stepped out of the shower and closer to him. "I wasn't expecting you for another hour," she said as she reached for the towel, rolling her eyes as he held it out of her reach.
"Want me to leave and come back later then?"
She shook her head slowly. "I think we'll be okay, don't you?" Her question was halted as he pulled her against him and crushed his lips against hers.
Courtney wasted no time sliding her hands up the back of his t-shirt, pushing the soft black cotton up as far as she could before they had to break the kiss so she could pull it the rest of the way over his head. They were kissing again as she dropped it to the floor and he walked her backwards until she collided with the sink. Without missing a beat he gripped her waist and hoisted her onto the cool ceramic.
He pulled away from her then and pushed the wet hair off of her shoulder. With one finger he traced a rivulet of water from her collarbone across her breasts and down her abdomen. "You're all wet," he smirked.
"Somebody wouldn't give me my towel," she murmured as he bent his head, his tongue following the same path his finger had. Humming in appreciation, she tilted her head back against the mirror and closed her eyes. Her hands found their way into his hair as he tried in vain to tongue every drop of water off of her.
It was so wrong. Courtney gasped as Jason's teeth nipped at her and her conscience tried to take over. She willed herself to stop thinking, to concentrate on the here and now, but as it had for the last three weeks, her mind began to wander back to that first night. The night that changed everything and nothing at the same time.
"So how long were we married?"
The cool autumn air hit Courtney as she walked out of Jake's and self-consciously she crossed her arms over her thin shirt. "Too long and not long enough," she answered honestly. They hadn't really talked about their lives much in the past 2 hours and when they had, she had kept her answers vague unless he wanted specifics. She figured it was easier, not knowing what Sam had already told him.
"Were we ever happy?" Even through her alcoholic haze, Courtney could tell he was walking too close to her but her feet were slow to catch up with her brain and she couldn't move.
"We were," she admitted. Her eyes closed as she felt his hand against her
back, stilling her mid-step and she pressed her own hand against his chest to keep him at length. "But we didn't stay that way."
"Right." Jason spoke close to her ear. "Are you happy now?"
"I--" She barely got the pronoun out before her arm collapsed between them and he invaded her space, claiming her mouth in a way he never had before. She was caught off guard by the intensity of the kiss and didn't know if it was want, need, or the effects of the alcohol but she was kissing him back before she could stop herself.
She clung to the familiar worn leather for a moment before pushing him away. "God, Jason, I'm married!" Under the street light she could see him staring at her and there was no remorse in his expression.
He nodded. "I know." He nudged her backwards until she was up against the side of the building and kissed her again. Half-heartedly, she tried to move out of his grasp but he caught her hands in his and held them against the building as his mouth left hers so he could kiss across her jaw and down her neck.
An involuntary moan escaped Courtney's lips as he dropped he dropped her hands, pushing his own under her sweater, grasping her waist and pressing her deeper into the wall. "Jason, what about Sam?" she asked finally.
Jason sighed and buried his face in the crook of her neck as his fist hit the wall. He pulled back and looked at her.
"All I've wanted since I lost my memory is to feel something. Sam tries her best but all I feel with her is not good enough." He shook his head. "Right now I'm feeling almost human again."
Courtney was speechless but when Jason took her silence as acceptance and leaned in to kiss her again she didn't resist, she gave in. Her mouth parted under his and their tongues clashed almost violently against each other as she hooked her fingers through his belt loops and pulled him closer against her. His hands were cold as they moved over her back and around to the front. She snapped back into reality only when his thumbs brushed under her bra.
"Jase, stop," she said softly, as she turned her head away. "Someone might see us."
"You're right," he agreed, his breath hot against her ear. "Is there someplace we can go?"
She nodded in spite of her last bit of resolve screaming no at her. "The loft," she whispered against her better judgment even though she was at the moment, happier than ever that she hadn't been able to give the place up. Happier still, was the fact that the loft was only three blocks away.
"Let's go." He took her hand and looked at her expectantly. She swallowed and suddenly she wished she was drunker, that way she'd have an excuse for what she was about to do.
Instead, with a clear mind and a conscious telling her she should know better, she nodded her head and led him down the dark street towards the loft.
Courtney tightened her grip on his hair and pulled him back up her body. She captured his mouth with hers, not bothering to wait for permission before sliding her tongue against his.
"Mmm." She reluctantly pushed him slightly. "Let me dry off, we can get out of here."
Jason pressed one hand to the base of her spine and braced her against him as he kissed her again. Her eyes snapped shut as his other hand fell between her legs and one finger sunk into her. "I like you wet," he muttered against her lips as she pushed up into his hand.
She giggled against him, biting lightly at his lips as she launched herself off of the sink, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Bedroom," she demanded as he stumbled backwards before catching his footing. He hoisted her a little higher against him and they left the bathroom.
By the time they were in the bedroom Courtney had his belt undone and his jeans unzipped. He stepped out of his shoes and set her down on her feet again. She tugged the dark denim past his hips and pushed him down on the bed, yanking them the rest of the way down before sliding her way all the way up his body and they were kissing again. His arm circled around her, crushing her against him as he took hold of one of her breasts with his other.
"How much time do you have tonight?" Courtney asked as she ground the lower half of her body against his. His body responded, thrusting up against her.
"Couple hours," he answered. He pressed his mouth against her collarbone and sucked lightly before nipping at the same spot. She didn't realize what he was doing until it was too late and she slapped her hand against his chest as he laughed.
"You seriously didn't do that!" she exclaimed, craning look down at her body. Sure enough, she could see the beginnings of a purplish mark. "How am I supposed to explain that to Jax?"
"Fuck him in the dark next time and convince him he did it," Jason rolled his eyes. "Or tell him the truth, I don't care."
"You don't?" She looked at him, her eyes flashing mischievously as she straddled one of his legs. "You'll pay later," she promised as she bent forward and pressed kisses across his jaw line and down his neck. She dragged her tongue across his chest, circling first one nipple and then the other, as his hands threaded through her hair, pushing her down gently. "Patience," she chided him before continuing to kiss, suck, and lick her way down to his abdomen, stopping only when she reached his black boxer-briefs. She kissed him once against the cotton, looking up at him through her eyelashes as she flattened her tongue against him before sliding her fingers under the hem and pulling them down slowly. She drew them all the way down his legs and off his feet, dropping them next to the bed before running her fingers and tongue back up the stretch of his legs, halting just before she reached him. Using her teeth, she mimicked his earlier assault on her, sucking until she marked the inside of his thigh.
She looked up with a wicked smile. "Have fun explaining that to Sam," she whispered before taking him in her mouth.
Jason groaned and clutched at her hair as her head began to move up and down slowly. Courtney had told him before that they had never been like this when they had been together but he'd swear she was lying if he thought she was capable of it. He'd found that out almost immediately, that she could lie to anyone in the world except for him.
"Court," he breathed as her tongue swirled around him. He lifted her off of him, reversing their positions so she was underneath him.
"I wasn't done," she pouted. She was over it quickly however, when without warning his tongue plunged into her. She gasped, her hips bucking involuntarily as he held her tight against the mattress. "God," she muttered, her fingers clawing at the 1500-thread count sheets around her as he traced shapes against her before sliding one, then two fingers into her.
"Is it like this with Jax?" he asked. She shook her head frantically as she pressed against him, urging him deeper.
"No!" her voice was almost a whimper as he removed his mouth and fingers simultaneously and continued to kiss his way up her until she groaned again and pulled him up the rest of the way to kiss him hard on the mouth. His hands were no longer holding her down so she raised her hips against him, she could feel him so close.
Jason smirked as she writhed underneath him. "All you have to do is ask," he mumbled against her lips.
Frustration was evident in her eyes but she didn't form the words just yet. She tightened her grip in his hair and deepened their kiss again. It was nothing like the kisses they had shared when they were together, this wasn't flowers and romance, and it was desire and want as tongues clashed and teeth clinked against each other.
She surprised Jason then, pushing him up until he was the one on his back and she lowered herself over him, hovering momentarily before guiding him into her slowly, only part of the way. She raised herself up again, and slid back down, slightly farther this time. She kept on this way until he was fully inside. She raised herself up and off one last time before slamming down hard and fast. Just as she expected, he gripped her waist and flipped her again so she was against the mattress.
She closed her eyes as he thrust in and out of her so fast she could scarcely catch her breath. One leg curved around his waist , driving him deeper with her heel she gasped as he groaned and knew they were both close.
Her cries got louder as he rocked against her and with one more thrust she was coming hard and fast around him. The sounds she was making combined with the feeling of her gripping him was enough to give Jason his release and they came together, almost violently at first, subsiding as the minutes ticked by.
They settled themselves in bed again, with Courtney draped over his chest, her fingernails trailing lightly up and down his arm. "Do you have to leave right away?" she asked.
Jason looked at the clock next to the bed and shook his head. "I can stay for a little while."
"Good." She rested her chin on his chest and looked at him. "Where does Sam think you are?" she asked curiously.
He shrugged. "I told her I was going out. She didn't ask me where this time."
"Do you think she knows? I mean, we've seen each other almost every day since Jake's."
He shook his head. "No, she doesn't. However, I think we should try not to run into each other in town during the day from now on."
Courtney laughed. Yesterday she had run into Sam and Jason when she had stopped into Kelly's for a cup of coffee. Sam had introduced her to Jason as Sonny's sister and for the most part they had been able to maintain a casual, albeit awkward conversation. Everything would have been fine if Jason hadn't stared at her the same way he did when they were in bed and Courtney was positive Sam had noticed her blushing and put two and two together.
"You're right," she agreed, her fingertips dancing along his chest. "We're definitely safer at night than we are during the day."
"So where did Jax go this time?"
"Washington DC. He won't be back until tomorrow afternoon." Courtney realized that it was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to stay the night and the thought scared her.
She wasn't supposed to think of him that way. Not anymore. She had a husband for God's sake, it wasn't as if Jason was her boyfriend. The only way for this to keep working for them was if she remembered that. She had to keep it impersonal. As impersonal as she could, when they were both naked in her bed.
"You're quiet," he observed. After three weeks he was used to their routine. Usually by now, they'd be talking, either about her problems with Jax or he'd have her fill him in on things about his life that Sam didn't know. Then they'd make plans for their next meeting and he'd leave. He wasn't used to her being so silent.
She sighed. "Jase, can I ask you something?"
"What happens when you get your memory back?" She kept her head buried in his chest as she spoke.
"What do you mean?"
"When you get your memory back, when you remember your life with Sam, what happens to us?" What happens to me?
His fingers entwined themselves in her hair. "What happens when Elizabeth has the baby and you and Jax bring her home?" he asked in return.
"I don't know," she said. "Do we just stop? Go on with our lives and forget we ever started this?"
"Is that what you want?" he asked. Her blonde hair tickled his chest as she shook her head and her voice was muffled as she spoke.
"No, but maybe we have to," she said. "This is getting harder every day Jason. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this."
"You mean lying to Jax?"
"Lying to myself," she corrected. "I'll be honest, this is becoming less and less physical for me and more emotional. I can't stop thinking about you or being with you, and when I'm with Jax I'm wishing it was you and that's not fair to any of us."
"I don't know what's going to happen if I ever get my memory back," he admitted. "Maybe it is like Sam says, maybe our love is so strong that I'm going to hate myself for what I'm doing to her but maybe not. How much can I really love her if I'm so comfortable being with you?"
"You're still with her," Courtney pointed out. "And I'm still married to Jax and I just don't know how long this can go on."
He was quiet for a moment. "I don't know what you want me to do," he said finally. "Do you want me to leave?"
"No." Her voice was quiet. "But I think you have to."
"All right," he agreed. He tightened his arms around her once more and kissed the top of her hair before sliding from the bed.
She watched as he picked up his clothes and got dressed. "I'm sorry," she said, not sure if it was the right thing to say.
He shrugged and sat down next to her again. "Don't be," he said, smoothing the hair from her face. "But are you sure?"
She shook her head. "Not even close, but it's only going to get more complicated if we wait any longer."
"Okay." His eyes held hers for a moment before he stood up again. "I'll see you around Courtney."
She nodded as he left the bedroom. She listened to his footsteps and before he leave she had torn the black sheet from the bed and wrapped it around her and she stopped him at the door.
"Jason." He turned and she didn't waste time or mince words, she just pressed her lips against his fervently. She pulled back and spoke before she could change her mind again.
"Tomorrow night, at the loft, 8:30," she whispered. "I can get away for 2 hours."
He nodded, leaning in to kiss her again. "See you then." She closed the door behind him and like she had with Jax, listened as he got onto the elevator.
In a daze, she walked over to the wet bar, still clutching the sheet around her as she filled a glass with ice first, topping it off with Jax's favorite scotch.
Surely, she was a selfish and horrible woman who wouldn't choose between her husband and her lover but for the moment, she didn't care, she just accepted it. She sipped at her drink mechanically until it was empty and set the glass down shakily as her eyes wandered over to a picture of her and Jax, taken on their wedding day.
Thinking twice, she refilled the glass and carried it over to the sofa and sat down. She wasn't going to give up on her marriage, not now and probably not ever. Soon enough Jason would regain his memory and he would happily go back to Sam's bed and not look back. She wouldn't have to make the choice, it would be made for her.
Until then she was content to know that she still had at least tomorrow with Jason and maybe tomorrow would be the night she'd be strong enough to let him go. She took another drink from her glass and smiled to herself.
And if tomorrow was not, as Scarlett said, another day, well there was always the night after that and then the night after that. Sooner or later, she'd have to get Jason Morgan out of her system but for now, later was definitely the sweeter choice.