The messed up stories of the F-Zero racers.

Captain Catastrophe2: Hello lovelies! I'm back! With a vengeance!

Alastor: By the way, I wish you weren't!

CC2: Aw, to heck with you.

Alastor: Waaaaaaah! Runs to somewhere

CC2: … Wait, can't he fly? Oh well, here is a new story from me! Oh, and if you don't get this at all, the story is a chain of different stories. Each chapter will be a story of one of all the F-Zero racers. All the stories occur on the same day. On that day, a strange light shone in the sky. Sources said the light caused some people's personalities to change for a period of time. All of the F-Zero racers have been affected by the strange phenomenon. These are their stories. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo, Sega, F-Zero GX, and any other copyrighted material in this fanfic. If I owned them, I would be busy making a new F-Zero game instead of writing this.

Chapter 1: Hey, where's my horse, a Jack Levin story.

It all started when Jack Levin woke up on the day of his big concert for all his screaming girl fans. He walked out of his bedroom, took a nice hot shower, and did his hair so it spiked up, just how he likes it, when all of a sudden a bright light appeared. Levin thought of it as nothing, for he was still half asleep. He then did something that seemed to change the rest of his day.

He asked, "Where's my horse?" As he looked around his mansion, he looked down noticing his clothes. He changed out of them, and went into a set of cowboy clothes he wore in his frat boy years when he was bored. He continued his useless quest for his lost horse, when he went into the kitchen.

"Horse," Levin shouted, "horse?" He spread some Cheerios he had in a drawer all over the mansion. Then the ants and the flies came like a wildfire! They stormed in, and took off with every bit of food they could get. As Levin wondered where the Cheerios went, he saw his calendar. It states:

"Concert at Mute City Square. Starts at 9:15"

Levin then looked at the clock. It said 9:05. He thought maybe his horse was there, so instead of doing the smart thing by taking his F-Zero machine, the Astro Robin, he took the most childish thing he could possibly take.

As Levin strode the sidewalk on his miniature tricycle, a means of transportation he hasn't used since his preschool years, people stared in awe and laughter. But he didn't care. Levin pedaled his way to the concert, which, unbelievably, was located a few blocks away. But within those few blocks, people thought he was making up some sort of publicity stunt. As they whispered amongst each other, Levin made it to the concert. With his back and legs crazily hurting from the low seat and close pedals, he snuck to the stage. The concert just started when he made it. He asked the stage person where his horse was, but she took it as a joke and told him he was up in 2. Levin's manager went up on stage.

"Ladies and… ladies, now is the moment you've all been waiting for! Prepare for the talented and very well groomed, Jack Levin!" The crowd cheered their hearts out as many spectacular, yet in some aspect crappy, effects automatically activated. Levin then stepped out, in his cheap cowboy suit. The ladies automatically noticed it and stopped cheering, but started laughing, and stopped 5 seconds later. Levin stood on the stage, clueless.

"Sing, sing!" The stage person snapped at him. Levin obeyed, but he didn't sing his hits from his new CD. He pulled out a banjo, played it slow and dreary, and sung it the same way.

"Where's my horse? With it's big round head, its bluish eyes. Its fat, fat body, and its stubby legs…" As he continued to sing, the crowd looked at him in anger. In their minds they were thinking, "this isn't what I came for" and "I want my hard-earned money back". They started booing and throwing things at Levin.

As he neared the end of his idiotic tune, Levin suddenly stopped. He looked around, and he looked down, seeing himself in his, now extremely sweaty, cowboy suit. He screamed, and ripped off the clothes, only to find that his actual clothes weren't under there. As Levin stood, in his underwear, the ladies looked happily, then, as if they expected this to happen, pulled out color cameras. Levin noticed them reaching for the cameras, and instinctively leaped behind the curtains. He heard many flashes of cameras behind the safety of the curtains. Thankfully, the stage person gave him am extra set of clothes, as if she expected this to happen.

"Thanks." Levin said. "No problem," said the stage person, "now get out there and sing." She gave him a thumb up. Levin nodded, walked onto the stage, and, nervously, told them all that what just happened was just part of the intro.

"Now, who's ready for a real concert," Levin yelled, getting an approval by a bunch of ladies screaming at the top of their lungs. "Well then, let's get it going!" Levin then started to sing his hits. A roaring crowd cleared his mind as he sang song after song, in rapid succession.

But, somewhere a few miles away from the occurring concert, there was a brown, big headed, blue eyed, stubby legged, fat bodied horse. The horse looked in the horizon, gave a snickering neigh, and ran off into the distance, at very slow speeds.

The end.

CC2: wow, that was longer than I thought it would be. Oh well, the longer the better right?

Alastor: What makes you think that?

CC2: Don't you have an errand to run?

Alastor: How dare you remind me! Air Ray!

CC2: ZZZZZT! Ouch!

Alastor: Ha-ha, uh oh! Mad author! To the hills!

CC2: Where's my axe, oh there it is. Now… hey, where'd he go? Oh well. Hey folks, how'd you like it? Funny? Crappy? Tell me in your reviews. Oh, and I have no idea which racer to choose next, so if you'd like to see a racer completely messed up, tell me who I should do. Until the next chapter, see ya!