PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: A Sesshomaru Tale

Summary: Sesshomaru is an arrogant, rich bastard. He's everything Kagura hates. So why doesn't she hate him? Alt universe. Rated M for language & other good stuff in later chapters. All pairings are the usual ones. This is a fun twist on a priceless classic. Sesshomaru is Mark Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Disclaimer: Of course I still don't own any Inuyasha characters. Pride and Prejudice belongs to Jane Austin, Bridget Jones Dairy belongs to Helen Fielding. I didn't use characters from those books but I borrowed the concept.

Chapter one: Indecent Proposals

It's been said so many times before that it stands to reason it's worth repeating here. "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man (or youki) in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." …J. Austin Pride and Prejudice

Charlotte NC USA:

Of course some men are better off single as some people were never meant to wed. Today Kagome was bemoaning the existence of one of those men. She checked her lipstick in the mirror. Kagura watched with a skeptical expression.

"Really just because of this one man you are going to ditch me and skip the big party tonight?"

"He wasn't just any man, he was my boss." Kagome hissed looking straight ahead to avoid meeting Kagura's rich scarlet eyes in the mirror. "How can I be so stupid? I believed him!" She glanced over her shoulder. "Really I did! Up until I saw him at the martini bar with her yesterday after work! No other man I know drinks apple martinis. That should have been my first clue he was a double crosser."

Kagura crossed her arms, careful to look concerned and not smug. Her expressive face was often misinterpreted and caused her nearly as much grief as her sharp tongue. A week ago she'd advised Kagome that dating her boss could never end well.

"Well I am glad you found out now. Imagine the embarrassment had he brought the other woman to your wedding?" And there was her tongue running away from her; again.

Kagome's mouth dropped open. "It wouldn't have ever gone that far! I would've figured it out sooner or later."

"Are you sure? Last time you had an engagement ring before you found out about the other woman."

Kagome winced. "You're right. I'm not getting any better at this, am I?"

"No dear you really aren't." Kagura set her pocket book on the marble counter.

"Kagura, then how can I be more like you? You're immersed in your career and that's enough for you."

Kagura recoiled at this accurate yet depressing description of her life. "I'm not married to my career. I'm just not chasing the coat tails of every single man here. I am happy with me, just as I am. I don't need to find my other half or any of that other Oprah/romance novel nonsensical crap."

"So then you really are okay with turning 30 and being single?"

"I don't even think about it. When the right person comes along I'll know it. Right now I am too busy renewing my brokerage license to have time for games."

"The party is always a great place to mingle." allowed Kagome.

"Yes that's true. We'll have fun and who knows? Maybe you'll find someone to take your mind of that ass. He won't be your boss much longer anyway once those trades he approved are investigated by the Feds."

Kagome smiled. "You are a true friend Kagura." Then she gave a slight frown. "The other girls think you are cold but I just don't see it."

Kagura smiled as she thought: Where the hell does she come up with this stuff?

Kagome continued unfettered. "So aren't you afraid of becoming the crazy spinster cat lady?"

"No. I have a Golden Retriever for one thing. Hardly the stuff of crazy spinsters."

"Yeah but that's more of a soccer mom kind of dog."

"Molly won't appreciate hearing that you've labeled her."

"See!" pointed out Kagome, "You already talk to your dog. You're half way there."

"Everyone talks to their pets…unless they have a pet rock."

Kagome gave a dismissing waive of her hand. "Well…if you say so. But what if you died in your house? You live alone when Kanna's at school and it'd be days before anyone would find you."

Kagura gritted her teeth, "That is such bullshit! Molly would eat me long before anyone could smell me."

Kagome gave her an adoring look. "See that is what I like about you; always so practical. Hey did you hear the new head of Securities will be at the party."

"No but it was a safe assumption that he would attend."

Kagome raised her eyebrows, "I heard he's a gorgeous investment guru, and very well off."

"Really? How nice for him." Kagura straightened the back on her earring.

"His house is on Lake Norman."

"Yeah?"

Excitement creeped into Kagome's voice. "The good part of the lake. Where the NBA and NASCAR stars live."

Kagura sighed, "You know I hate NASCAR."

"Yeah but who cares. Just imagine being invited to a party in that neighborhood. I bet he has a yacht too."

A yacht on a lake? This seemed a bit much but Kagura loved boating on the lake when she had the time, which was never. She was reminded of last summer when the Huntersville police had to stop female boaters from flashing the passing traffic on I-77. It kept causing car accidents.

"You know Kagome I'll just let you call dibs on this guy." She saw her friend was fishing through her pocket book for her keys.

Kagura glanced at her watch. "Where are you off to? It's only 11?"

She grinned, showing off the bleach job she'd spent last month's commission on. Kagura's was still in her money market account. "I have a noon appointment with Jon at the Spa. Gotta look my best tonight."

"You little rat. Fossil Spa appointments are the hardest to get. You booked that weeks ago! You dragged me in here to console you when you already knew you were going."

Kagome tosses her long black hair, continued to smile as she pulled out her cell and waived it at Kagura indicating she had a call coming through. "I'll meet you at the party. At our usual table." She turned and hightailed it out of the ladies room.


Kagura meant to leave work an hour early so she could beat the traffic jam that took over I-77 and make it home in time to dress for the party. Of course her neediest client called 5 minutes to till 4pm and there she was. Stuck as usual.

"Mrs. Wilson I am sure it will be okay."

"No Mrs. Wilson, I don't know what Greenspan is thinking these days. I am sorry but I am not privy to his home phone number…"

She paced her office with her headset on trying to explain to a multi-millionaire paranoid elderly woman that the head of the Federal Reserve wasn't personally plotting against her. Kagura gazed out her office window over the expansive sky line of Charlotte. She had the perfect view. She could look right down into Panther Stadium and often held private office parties on game nights. God they better lay off the injuries this year!

"Yes Mrs. Wilson. No I was listening. I am certain the post office isn't steaming open your mail. And if they were, wouldn't Larry your attorney be better equipped to handle that for you?"

Her eyes found the tiny clock on her computer. 5:17! I'm stuck here now. No dressing up for me. She began to dig through her desk and located a dry cleaning ticket for the black dress she dropped of last week. If I hurry they will still be open and I can just wing it. Now how do I get rid of Mrs. Wilson without upsetting her…

"Please. I'm sorry but I'll have to call you about this on Tuesday. I've another appointment."

The elderly woman was a few nuts short a bushel but she wasn't stupid. "You must be going to that party tonight."

"Yes Mam."

"Yes your assistant sent me my annual tickets but Jake didn't feel like going so we are sitting this year out."

"Oh that's a real shame and I was looking forward to seeing you there too." Jake AKA Mr. Wilson had been deceased ten years.

Once free of Mrs. Wilson, Kagura bolted to the elevator. While she wasn't afraid of elevators she'd never gotten used to this one. It went up 45 floors and moved so fast she always felt like her stomach was left on another floor. She plummeted to the ground floor and sprinted to the Dry Cleaners stand. Mr. Wong was almost ready to close but he saw her running and held the door open for her.

Kagura raced back to her office where she donned the tiny black dress. It would have looked better with black hose but all she had was nude and it would just have to do. She pulled out a tiny makeup kit and did the best she could with what she had. She pulled her dark brown shoulder length hair into a high pony tail and Viola! She was done.


Kagura climbed out of the cab and stood in front of the down town Hilton. It was decorated in tiny white lights and wreathes of fragrant spring flowers. She walked to the door, checked her ticket and coat with the doormen and entered.

Kagome and Sango spotted her immediately and waved her to the same table they'd sat at the past five years. Kagome, who was wearing a 1940's green retro number with a sharp collar, gave Kagura the critical up and down female glance.

"You wore that same dress last year."

"Yeah, what can I say? When you find a winner you should stick with it."

Sango's long black hair was twisted into a knot and hung at the base of bare neck. Her dress was backless and deep purple. She smiled at Kagura. "Didn't have time to go home and change did you? What is that? Last week's dry cleaning?"

Kagura sighed, "You know it."

"Mrs. Wilson called?"

"Yup."

"What was it this time?" Sango stirred her drink." Last week her plumber was an illegal alien selling secrets to Osama Bin Laden through the routing number on her bank accounts."

"Nope she just wanted Greenspan's home number. Again."

"Wow, I bet that is one of the closest guarded secrets in the world. Talk about needing caller id huh?"

Kagura laughed, "I bet."

Kagome was ignoring them and studying the crowd intently. Kagura turned to Sango, "Has she been like this the entire time?"

"Yeah she's on the prowl for this new president of Securities. Check out her vintage Ginger Roger's dress and just when I had her figured for Laura Ashley. Kagome's really going all out for this one. Oh what's his name? I just had it in my head and now it's gone."

Kagome answered without taking her eyes away from the door. "It's Inuyasha."

Sango raised her brows at Kagura. "Wow, must be serious and she hasn't even met him yet."

The truth was Kagome had the biggest heart of anyone in Kagura's circle. She was just a bit excitable.

"Ohhhh!" she whispered waiving her hand at her friends. "I think he's here."

"This I gotta see." Sango stood with her drink in one hand. Her other hand wrapped around Kagura's upper arm and pulled her up too.

"See. He's over there in the red suit." Kagome pointed even though there was no need to. Investment bankers rarely wore red suites so this man easily stood out. Kagura spotted him and noticed he was flanked by two other men. She held her hand over her eyes to block out the bright light of the ball room.

"Kagome, is this Inuyasha a youki?"

"No silly, he's a hanyou. His half brother is though."

Kagura and Sango exchanged hot looks. Youki were unpredictable at best and hanyou were famously wild. Were these the sort of people their hopelessly naïve friend should be pursuing? The women nodded in silent agreement. Hell no.


Inuyasha stood clasping a wine glass on one clawed hand. Koga stood beside him trying to avoid the glare of his friend's bright red ensemble.

"Was it really necessary to pull the brightest chintziest suit you own from your closest? Don't you have any mirrors at that stupid lake house?"

Inuyasha cut him a look of warning. "I like to be noticed and this red is my signature color. This way all of my perspective clients can't say I was forgettable. Stupid wolf do you own anything that isn't grey." His white hair and fetlocks swung freely down his bright red back.

"If you say so, but I think the shocking white hair and dog ears makes your ugly mug memorable enough."

"Whatever."

Koga turned and looked behind them. "Inuyasha, did you have to invite Sesshomaru?"

"Of course, why? Is he here?"

Koga sighed, "Yes and he already looks bored. Why do you insist on dragging him to these things."

"I can't just leave him alone at the house. It'd be rude. That and he scares the maids."

"Well you could drop him off at the hospital so they can remove that enormous telephone pole that's jammed up his ass."

Inuyasha's lips twisted up to a quick grin. "He really isn't that bad. He's my half brother for Christ sakes. Show some manners. It wouldn't kill you."

He gave Koga a long look. Koga hated wearing suites or shoes for that matter. He was a man who loved his shorts and Birkenstocks. Inuyasha muttered. "Or then again it just might."

Sesshomaru arrived carrying a glass frosty flute of champagne in one hand. His crisp white suit combined with his own silver white hair made him stand out almost as much as his half brother.

Koga snorted as the two men stood side by side. "Ya'll know that together you look like a candy cane gone seriously wrong right?"

Sesshomaru answered in disinterested tone. "Some of us prefer not to pick up our clothing ready made from the softer side of Sears. Forgive me but if I must be here I don't plan on sacrificing good taste even though we are lacking of good company."

Koga scratched the back of his neck and grumbled, "Whatever. Like I care what you think."

A feminine voice sounded behind them. "Oh Sesshomaru, I'm sorry to have missed your entrance. So how are you faring in these quaint surroundings?"

All three men turned to see Kikyo clad in a tight strapless white dress. Her hair was tied back in a loose knot. Inuyasha groaned. His cousin by marriage had dressed purposely to match Sesshomaru.

"Hello boys." She glanced up at Sesshomaru and smiled. "I've brought you another glass of champagne." He took the glass from her and set it behind him without a word of thanks. Couldn't she see he was already holding a full glass?

"I'm as well as can be expected." He decided the fastest way to shut Kikyo up was to answer her.

"You both realize", said Koga, "This is Charlotte. While it's not New York or London it's far from the middle of freaking no-where."

"Could have fooled me." said Kikyo.

Inuyasha glanced over at her. "Is something the matter with your room at the lake house? There are some nice hotels downtown we can put you up in if there is. I know the noise from the boats can be irritating if you've had a late night."

Kikyo bit her lip and forced a false smile, lest she be parted from the target of her affections. "No Inuyasha. The house is lovely. I'm just used to a more sophisticated night life."

"Koga and I were thinking of hitting the Breakfast Club after this."

Kikyo raise a well plucked black eyebrow. "Really Inuyasha, eighties music?"

"It's called fun Kikyo. F-U-N. You should think about taking a class in it." He smiled to take some of the bite out of his comment.

Kikyo leaned in placing a hand on the lapel of Sesshomaru's white Italian suit. "Don't worry dear, I know of a little all night wine and sushi bar up the road. I think it is much more to both our liking."

Sesshomaru gave her wandering hand a cold glare; he brushed it off himself and said in a non-comitial tone. "We shall see."


Kagura watched Kagome keep an eagle eye on the group of strangely dressed individuals at the other side of the room. Their people watching was interrupted by Miroku a long standing acquaintance.

"Ladies" he gestured to all of them. "Each of you are a vision of breathtaking beauty." He fingered his short pony tail as he knelt down before Kagura. "You are wearing my favorite dress."

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. "Really? How thoughtful of you to notice Miroku."

He gave his best debonair smile. "Yes. You know Kagura. I hear you are approaching the big 3-0."

Kagome giggled, "Yes that's right she is."

Sango kicked her under the table. "Opps…I mean she's not?"

Kagome looked to Sango in confusion. Sango put her finger to her lips and made zipper motions.

"Anyhow, I can't help but notice you are still very much on the market and I know how you ladies just abhor the sound of those biological clocks ticking."

Kagura made a wrap it up motion with her hand. "Miroku is this…going somewhere?'

"But of course. I'm single and you are also so very single. Why don't we move in together and you can help me start a family." He pulled the label off his Zima while he spoke. His tone was one appropriate to asking someone how their mother was doing. Not one typically used when asking women to bear their illegitimate children.

Kagura's face reddened and her eyes flashed with violent anger. She slowly stood and began reaching for Miroku. Sango stood and put an arm across her shoulders holding her back.

"Miroku aren't you a preacher. Wouldn't living in sin hold you back in your church position?" asked Kagome.

"Of course we would be wed." He was quick to clarify.

"Umm Miroku," said Sango, "Why don't you give Kagura some time to mull this over. She can give you an answer later."

Sango saw Kagura's jaw clench. The preacher gave a polite half bow. "As you wish but I shall contact you within the week to hear your answer." He turned and left.

Kagura was so blind with rage she swept her wine glass off the table. It fell to the hard tiled floor and shattered. Oh great. Now everyone is looking at us. She wished she could crawl under the table or that the floor would have the good decency to just swallow her whole.


Inuyasha's ears jumped at the sound of the breaking glass. He watched the three women trying to clean up the mess as quickly as possible before causing more of scene.

"Koga." He touched his arm. "I'm going over there to see if we can lend a hand."

Koga peered over Inuyasha's shoulder. "Hmm…looks interesting. I'm coming with you." Sesshomaru nodded, it was better than standing here doing nothing.

Kikyo hissed, "Those three are nothing special. I'll wager they don't even know which fork to use." But the three men were ignoring her and heading over the women's table. She cursed and followed carefully in her new heels.


Notes:

This is a crazy experiment. So let me know if you like it!

I've changed two things to make this work. Kagura is not a yokai. The story works better if she is human. And Sesshomaru has both arms.

Don't fret if you are worried I am breaking off from the classic pairings. If you've seen or read Pride & Prejudice than you already know everything is right on track.