Disclaimer: That's Sasuke, that's Naruto. Do you see them all over each other? Then no, not mine.
Tense silence hung in the air as four pairs of eyes stared fixatedly at one particular window. Only extremely shallow breathings could be heard as the four kunoichis tried their best to conceal their chakra signatures.
Ten Ten gave a soft, frustrated growl. "Twelve minutes, at the rate they are going."
Ino gawked at her incredulously. "No way! Ten minutes max."
Ten Ten frowned. She was about to argue when Hinata interrupted, her voice so quiet it could hardly be heard. "Eight. N-Naruto-kun will make the first move."
Sakura finally turned her attention away from the window. She smiled at Hinata kindly. "Sorry to shatter any illusions Hinata, but there's no way that Naruto will be in control in there."
Ino nodded in agreement. "Yar, it'll kill Sasuke-kun to be at the bottom," she said in all seriousness. Hinata eeped as a faint tinge spread over her cheeks.
Ten Ten waved a hand at them dismissively. "Guys, focus, focus." She smirked as an extra loud crash came from the other side of the window. "Alright, I'm revising my judgment. Make that seven minutes, first scene will be against the wall."
"Maa… Looks more like the table top to me."
Sakura would have yelped out loud if not for the strong hand that had clamped over her mouth. The other three also experienced a brief moment of heart attack as the branch sagged noticeable with the weight of another.
"Kakashi-sensei! You nearly killed us there," Sakura admonished softly as inner Sakura proceed to curse and dissect the jounin into oblivion.
Kakashi's one visible eye curved into a happy arc as he grinned. "How can you expect me to stay away when you're doing something so interesting? You never told me you've got voyeuristic tendencies, Sakura-chaaan!"
Sakura turned bright red and she moved her left foot not-so-gently over her sensei's. Kakashi snatched his foot away just before it could land.
One moment of silence, then…
"So what do you think, Kakashi-sensei?" Ino couldn't help asking.
Kakashi scratched his chin as he gave the matter some serious thought. "Six minutes, five and a half if they go at top speed," he said finally.
"I second that," a soft voice came from the vicinity of Hinata. All heads turned to see a dead serious Neji. He met the stunned stares calmly, as if having a voyeuristic gathering on top of a tree branch was something he did everyday.
Hinata gulped. "Ne-Neji nii-san!"
Ten Ten's eyebrows shot into her fringe. "Neji? What are you doing here?" Neji gave her a patronizing look as he refrained from stating the obvious. He turned his attention back to the window. Hands moving through the motion of a familiar jutsu, he murmured softly, "Byakkugan."
Sakura gasped at him, scandalized. "That's cheating!"
Hinata smiled at her apologetically as she too, activated the bloodline limit.
Kakashi looked at them for one moment. "Sorry about this, girls," he said gleefully, not sounding sorry at all, "but one must always look underneath the underneath." With that, he pulled back his hiate-ate and activated the Sharingan.
Soon, he was nodding in appreciation. Ino and Sakura fumed silently. "I changed my min-"
"Five minutes, tops," another voice interrupted him. All heads whipped around to look at the newcomer.
Due to either excellent ninja reflexes or frozen body induced by extreme shock, none of them actually fell from the tree.
"Gaara of the Desert." Kakashi was the first to recover. Gaara nodded at him in acknowledgement. He stood behind Neji as he refused to crouch down like the others. The branch was becoming slightly overcrowded.
Uncomfortable silence, then Ten Ten sighed. "At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if Gai-sensei showed up next."
Kakashi stared at her in shock. "Don't jinx it," he said hurriedly.
"Shhh!" Sakura peered intensely into the window. "One minute to count down."
Naruto snarled in frustration as he shook his fist at the black-haired boy in front of him. "You insensitive BASTARD! After all the trouble I went through, you had the gall to tell me you do not want to eat ramen?"
Sasuke felt a chronic itch developing in his left eye. He made a silent plea for patience. "Dobe, look, this is OUR anniversary. I have as much say as you do in what we eat for dinner."
Naruto scowled at him. "Yar but I did not see YOU buying the flowers and we had your goddamned onigiri for lunch!"
Naruto felt a vein popping. "Don't you 'Hn' me, you I'm-too-cool-for-ramen bastard. What's wrong with having ramen for dinner?"
"Aside from having it for breakfast, lunch, dinner every single day for the last two months? I think not."
"But I LOVE ramen!"
Sasuke cursed under his breath. "That's the part I can't get over."
Suddenly, Sasuke felt two months worth of pent up frustration and jealousy build up like a grand crescendo. Reaching over for the nearest item, which happened to be a vase, he snapped.
"Dobe, I had to put up with you LIVING," he threw the vase at Naruto with all his force, "BREATHING," he threw a plate, "and WORSHIPPING ramen," here he threw his entire set of shurikens, "for the past two fucking months. I had to endure you turning to GOO over that... that monstrosity and having it shoved down my throat EVERY. SINGLE. DAY," he punctured each word with a kunai. "Just because YOU like it. And now it's finally OUR anniversary, what do you do? EAT MORE RAMEN! I HAD FUCKING ENOUGH OF IT." Sasuke uprooted the entire table and threw it over.
Naruto shuddered as he dodged all the items easily. An angry Sasuke never had good aim, fortunately. However, he still could not believe his ears. Sasuke is turning berserk over RAMEN? He's picking a fight with NODDLES?
"Er... Sasuke," Naruto began hesitantly, doing a back flip to avoid head-on collision with yet another kunai.
"You know, we can... (attach self to ceiling to avoid table) talk this out."
Sasuke advanced on him, sharingan flashing. "Talk? No, you shut up. Here's the ultimatum. Who do you love more, ramen or me?"
Naruto crashed down from his awkward perch on the ceiling. "That's it?" he asked incredulously. "That's all that's up your ass?"
Sasuke growled threateningly. "Don't evade the question, dobe."
"Don't call me that, bastard," Naruto relaxed. Once he heard that familiar nickname, he knew the old Sasuke is back. "Well, I don't know about that, I can't seem to live without ramen." he smirked at his lover teasingly.
If there had been a carbon rod in Sasuke's hands, he was sure it would have been crushed into diamond. "Don't play with me, Naruto."
He was about to continue interrogating the playful blonde when suddenly, he felt a nasty prickling sensation at the back of his neck. He glanced at the window and his expression instantly soured. There was the unmistakable chakra stench of white-eye freak and the panda freak, spying on HIS Naruto, no doubt. He scowled as another wave of white hot jealousy ran through his body.
Naruto, apparently, was still oblivious. He glanced hesitantly at the other boy. "Sasuke…" There was an almost shy expression on his face that looked oddly out of place.
Sasuke ignored him as he contemplated how best to counter the threat. Nobody messes with his property. Naruto growled in irritation at being ignored. The low noise worked its way into Sasuke's conscious. He suppressed an expectant shiver. "Sasuke, whatever you are thinking now, it better be about me."
Sasuke looked at the smaller boy in front of him. The flash of possessiveness was almost… cute. It ignited something in him. Suddenly, the ideal solution dawned on him. He smirked dangerously. "Naruto. Couch. Now."
Naruto stared at him in surprise. He recognized the predatory glint in Sasuke's eyes and he suddenly had an urge to run far far away. "Sasuke, wha-"
That was the furthest he got before being tackled by Sasuke. Somehow, kissing and groping, Sasuke managed to maneuver them to the couch, giving a perfect view to the window. The exhibitionist in him flared to life. He did a victory dance mentally. He would concede for now, but the showdown with the hated ramen was not over, dammit.
Four voices squealed as one as yaoi-fangirl mode went into full swing.
"Sakura, the video camera, QUICK!" Ino urged hurriedly. The said girl wasted no time in using all her ninja and fangirl skills to ready the equipment at top speed.
Kakashi grinned pervertedly. This is even better than Icha Icha Paradise, Deluxe Yaoi Version. Must get tape to Jiraiya, he promised himself mentally.
Gaara and Neji smirked in union. "Uchiha is so easily provoked," Neji commented dryly. Gaara nodded in agreement. "We got to see Naruto in his birthday suit," he added quietly.
The seven of them continued to appreciate the frenzied action at the other side of the window. Suddenly, Gaara broke the silence.
"By the way, that was five minutes. Pay up."
Author's Notes: First Naruto fic, hope that wasn't too bad. I know it's kind of hopelessly OOC, well...I'd love to hear from you. Please review and make my day!