Yes. If only for a little while longer.
When I look into the mirror, I see what everyone else around me sees; a tall teenager on the cusp of adulthood, with blue eyes and rather neat black hair. Curteous if not always polite, aloof but hardly rude, I blend in fairly well with my fellow Japanese. My only deviation stands in the gallantry of my devotion to a blonde, pigtailed girl who is the love of my life, my fiancée, and the center of my world.
It's incredible to me at times how easily naïve they all are.
And so easy to fool.
I can take her hand and kiss it as a gentleman of past years would, and
every woman in the vicinity will silently wish they were her. Pretty if
not beautiful, with perfect skin and long legs, crystal blue eyes always
wide with anticipation for the world around her, blonde hair as golden as
the ring on her finger, Usagi is a gift. A treasure most certainly.
Wishing to be like her, none of those women realize just how lucky they are
not to be.
Listening to her talk as she hangs on my arm of silly things, I marvel at how I've held up so long, but my plans are not easy to achieve.
I do have to back up a moment and remind myself with some bitterness that I did once love her. And I certainly have no distaste for the silk of her thighs against my cheek as she cries my name, utterly and completely in my thrall. But it was a love forged from ignorance; from dreams and a whispering voice, begging me to find her precious stone. Anyone could fall in love with their dreams when they've been alone for much of their life.
When I finally realized Usagi was Sailor Moon and my dream princess, I was happy. When she freed me from Beryl's influence with her trust and love, I died in peace. When she led my memories back to me, I woke up whole and trusting in her love for me; after all, had we not been a prince and princess in love? Had we not overcome death to be together?
Of course she had. After a time, after seeing the future and my role as a king, I began to have doubts. What power did I have in my life? The Ginzuishou was a force to be reckoned with, while my own planet cowered in its shadow. My blue Earth was always the lesser man out, while the other planets – while the moon itself – played the roles of gods.
I had begun to have nightmares again.
Finally, I realized that they weren't nightmares. They were memories of the Golden Kingdom; of my slowly growing disgust for the Silver Millennium as I watched my father – always so regal in his dark robes and amethyst studded crown – struggle to hold together his kingdom without their help. We were children to the moon people, and they took delight in watching us fall. Oftentimes visiting diplomats would flaunt their magic and power in front of us, mocking us for being weak.
When I was old enough to be an envoy and first beheld the blush in Serenity's cheeks as I took her hand, I knew my plan. What better way to pay back the Silver Millennium for its crass treatment of us than to be the serpent at their bosom? The girl was naïve and trusting, never once arguing against my need for secrecy, my odd questions about the palace and its security. She thought I was concerned for her. Even when I snuck into the castle she would make sure I knew the guards and their shifts, all the better to escape detection to be in her arms.
I would have married her, bound our kingdoms together, and taken control if that idiot witch hadn't stormed the moon and ruined everything. Apparently I played my role too well for not only the naïve, but the fanatic; I knew the princess had to survive for the kingdom's power to be controlled, but in saving her precious hide, I found myself an easy target.
Bitch. Never trust a peasant to do a king's job.
"Hai, Usa? Go back to sleep." So trusting. I could twist her pretty neck in her sleep and she'd never have suspected me. Sometimes my hatred for her, for her marvelous kingdom and its power, is so much it blinds me, and I find myself wishing I could do it.
But I won't. Not until the final act has arrived.
In the moonlight, I press my hand to her belly, knowing that in a few years she will be pregnant with our child; a child I can manipulate to trust me, to prefer my company to hers, to show me the same trust and devotion as her mother. A child who will be able to wield the crystal I so achingly desire, on the planet of my birth and my kingdom. It was no accident that our future Tokyo is the seat of the throne instead of the moon, I long ago realized. It was no accident I wore purple in the future, the colour of royalty.
The Golden Kingdom will rise again on the ashes of the old.
And I will be its rightful king as I was meant to be.
I have fully accepted that I can write nothing but disturbing anime ficlets. This one could be a counterpart, of sorts, to "hail to the queen." But seeing as it came to me during my shower out of the blue, I can honestly say I also didn't plan it that way. Call this a "What If?" and it works. Plus, it at least gives a strange answer to the reasons behind Chibi-Usa's almost incestuous need to be first in Mamoru's life, even before her own Mother, which has always been completely odd. The kid loves her father, but sometimes it goes just that tad bit too far that kind of makes you cringe.