A fanfic by DeadeyeDave and Mr. Crash
"We've come a long, long way together,
Through the hard times, and the good,
I've got to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should..."
-Fatboy Slim (Praise You)
A note from DeadeyeDave and Mr. Crash: We don't own all the Nintendo
appear, such as Link, Mario, etc. They belong to whoever did create them (You know
who you are), and we swear that we would put the little "R" symbol after the names,
except that 1. We don't know how and 2. We are lazy. Okay, _that's_ cleared up.
P. S. We think Navi is female, and if you disagree, please don't hesitate
to shut up, we
don't want to hear it.
We do own Aaron Seemas *cough* Samus Aran *cough* (We have a very limited
repartee). We needed a person who Samus would care about, as mercenaries generally
don't develop strong feelings to anyone.
We were baffled as to who would start the second Super Smash tournament,
so from the
depths of out perverted imaginations (mostly Mr. Crash's), we came up with the Master,
a.k.a. Ken Itche :)
A final note: You may find our humor obscure, disgusting, obscene, insane,
Feel free to write long, threatening letters to us, but bear in mind we will not read them.
Part Ten: The Big Bang
The sun was setting over the kingdom, and Zelda and I had eaten outside.
"It puts it in perspective, doesn't it," I remarked to her. "The Master
created this world, in
fact, this universe, through the force of his mind."
Zelda frowned. "Disappointing...and strange. He went through all this,
for the people he
hates. And he may destroy this world just as easily as he made it..."
"No use denying it," I answered solemnly. "There's a good chance that I won't make it."
"But," I continued, "I definitely have a better chance now than a year
ago. Working out
for a year has its benefits," I joked, bringing a soft smile from her tired face. "Spiritually
and physically, I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
Zelda looked reassured. "I'm glad," she said softly. I couldn't really
say anything, so I
silently watched the false sun set over the artificial world.
"It's been almost a year," I said. "I can't imagine how the rest of Hyrule is taking it."
"They must leave us for dead by now," she replied dryly.
Darkness began to creep over the sky, and I just sat on a hill with
Zelda, in peace, as the
sun finally sank over skyline of the fantastic crystal city.
"I have a suggestion," I said, "Let's move to the back." There were
no objections, so we
walked to the backyard, where the stars came out and twin moons hung in the sky. Lying
on the grass, I looked up at the stars. Zelda followed, and I put an arm gently around her
and gazed upwards.
"I can just imagine this in Hyrule," I sighed.
"I don't think I've ever looked at the stars like this," she replied.
"I'm always distracted by
the lights of the town."
"Then you ought to come with me sometime," I said, kissing her lightly
on the cheek.
"When we get home, I'll take you to a place where you can see all of Hyrule stretched
Zelda sighed. "When we get home..."
I pulled on my pajama bottoms and walked to my bed. The candlelight
flickered, and I
extinguished the light.
This is it. Tomorrow, I will have the very fabric of my soul warped
in ways impossible to
imagine. The realms of my will tested. My spirit taxed.
I didn't fear death. I knew that this was fate...fate had brought me
to that lonely patch of
woods almost a year ago. Fate had let me come this far...and fate pushed me onward. Fate
had brought us together, and fate could tear us apart. I was so lost in thought that through
the darkness I didn't hear the door creek open.
There was a thump.
"Ow!" said a familiar voice.
I sat up and lit the candle again. "Zel, do you think you could possibly
be any more
clumsy?" I grinned.
"Oh shush," she laughed. "I thought you were asleep already, and I didn't
want to wake
"Well..." I looked at the chest of drawers she had stubbed her toe on.
"I love you
She took a seat at the foot of the bed, hugging her knees to her chest.
"So why are you here? Came to give me a good-night kiss?" I joked.
"No…" she didn't seem to be in a humorous mood anymore. "I'm…just…worried."
"Like I'm not?" I answered.
"Well…I don't know…you don't understand, I think…"
"What don't I understand?" I answered, a little surprised.
"You…you've never lost anyone close to you. You were orphaned when you
were a baby,
so you never knew parents…you don't have any siblings, and you're pretty much
a…well…hero without peer."
I was startled. "Zelda…I…I didn't know that you…well…have you ever…?"
"Yes…" she looked drearily at me. "My mother died when I was five…she
everything to me. She died protecting me…just like you might. Since then there was this
void in me…and I couldn't bear to have another one."
(Editor's note: Yes, we are taking some liberties. No, we don't care.
I was moved, amazed, sympathetic, and shaken all at once. I couldn't really say anything.
She continued. "I think that dying is a far more merciful fate than
seeing someone you
care about die. I've endured it once but I couldn't endure it again." She squeezed her eyes
shut to stop the tears.
I took in all of what she said. And, it occurred to me that she was
right. I beckoned her
closer and she sat with me at the head of the bed.
"I think so to," I said. "That's why I'm fighting. I couldn't endure losing you either."
She almost smiled.
"I love you," she said.
"I love you too," I answered.
I was going to say more, but I found her asleep. But that was OK, because
I was asleep
I awoke early, the sun had not even risen. Figuring I had a couple more
hours, I squinted,
and looked to my side where I saw her sleeping form. Beautiful strands of hair played
upon her face as she her gentle warm breath caressed my arm. I pulled the sheets over her
body and slept easily for the first time since that day in the woods.
When I awoke again Zelda was gone, and light streamed through the curtains.
came into the kitchen to find her at work making food. I went and grabbed some food, sat
down, and had an easy breakfast. Zelda stopped me at the doorway.
"Link," she said, "good luck. I'll be there. I'll be there for you." I looked into her eyes.
"It will be over soon..."
"Never lose hope…" I said.
"…'till all hope is lost!" she finished. She smiled.
I turned, and silently walked down the long and winding road to the stadium.
I walked down the grasses along the edge of the fighting arena. I had
been in this cursed
world for almost a year now. In a few days, it would mark the anniversary of the day we
were all entered into this insane tournament. As I walked around the edge of the stadium,
I heard the sound of footsteps behind me. I slowed, and then spun around and drew my
sword. And there, in all his hateful glory, stood him. The Master.
"Hello, Link," he said. I was surprised; his voice held no malice in
it. It was simply a
conversation between him and me.
"You do know, right?" I made no reply.
"You know you cannot win." I still was silent.
"No matter how strong you have become, no matter how far you go, it's all going to end."
I tried not to think about the truth in his words. Staring into my eyes
I saw him skewering
"You should have known that the day I captured you. This is all going
to be over soon.
You will have to fight me," he said, still without a trace of anger. "You cannot defeat me.
You do understand that, right?"
I was dead silent. I got the reaction I expected. His rage peaked, and
he held a balled fist
up at me.
"Are you not afraid?" he demanded, angry. "Are you defying me, or are
you simply to
stupid to comprehend you impending death?"
I looked him straight in the eye, matching his glare. "If fear is the
only weapon you have
left," I said, "then you will never control me."
The Master seethed with rage. He held up a hand. "Death will be too
good for you," he
spat, and teleported away.
I floated down, and landed on a strange arena. It was unlike anything
I had seen before.
Crystalline spikes of purple, transparent mineral protruded for the hard steel floor, and
over my head hovered three platforms. I cast my mind back to the first tournament so
many years ago, and it struck me that this was the polygon team arena. I tried to recall
how I had won before, but I knew that these were new foes and new challenges. But I had
no time to think. My teammates dropped out of the sky, and the fight was almost ready.
The sight before my allies I and inspired more fear than any other emotion.
On one end
stood the malevolent, armor-covered behemoth Bowser, spikes and claws, sharp as
razors. On the other side stood a short man, resembling Mario, but encased in glimmering
steel. The light reflecting off his metallic skin shone in distorting patterns. And finally, in
the center was the huge and powerful giant Donkey Kong, his mind warped by the evil
that was the Master and his twisted exhibition.
But there was no time to think. The Master's voice made an announcement,
then...everything was a violent whirlwind.
Everything happened so fast...but afterward I could remember most of
it. The things I saw
on that day will never leave me, and although nothing bad came out of the experience, I
was changed forever. Nothing could compare to what happened then, and no words could
do justice to what I felt. But I can try.
The Master made an announcement. "This fight will be unique," he said,
obviously pleased. "In this round, each fighter will have a stock of three."
On the giant monitor, each of us received three symbols representing
us. I would have
laughed at my little caricature, but nothing could break my tenseness.
The Master gave me a look that said, "I'm gonna enjoy watching you suffer."
knew that he only wanted to see my agonizing demise threefold. I wasn't going to let that
*Go to hell,* he said in my mind.
A bell somewhere sounded, and the fight was on. Each of us took a separate
began to battle. I lunged at Donkey Kong, but for a moment I remembered our previous
encounter. I faltered, overcome with fevered thoughts. How could I beat him? What
tactics, what moves? In that split-second, Donkey Kong saw me miss-step and attacked.
His huge, hairy fist came crashing down towards my head.
I didn't think. I only acted. A haze of green instantly solidified around
me. The blow
descended into a field of energy, and was blocked. I burst into sweat, stunned at how
close I had come to being pounded.
Donkey Kong was enraged, and pelted the shield with a flurry of punches.
Finally, it gave
way, and a blow caught me full-force in the jaw.
For a moment I didn't know where I was. I couldn't see through the pain,
but I was
conscious. I managed to get my bearings, and looked around. Fox and Kirby were
slugging it out with their opponents, but neither was in good shape. I saw that Fox
already was limping and Kirby had one eye shut. Donkey Kong had left me for dead. He
was shambling towards Fox.
I touched my jaw, finding it terribly swollen and obviously broken.
I shrugged off the
pain and ran to the aid of my friends. Seeing me, Metal Mario, who was slowly pounding
Fox, attacked me. I dodged to the side and his heavy fists flung him forward. But while I
wasn't looking, DK grabbed me from behind.
Taking me in an arm bar, I struggled but knew it was hopeless. After
I stopped kicking,
Metal Mario came over and stood in front of me. He drew waaaay back and...
*POW!* He slung his iron fists full into my face. The pain was too great
to put into
words. And still he continued his barrage. Blows like sledgehammers pounded on my
face and torso. I didn't count but he probably broke every one of my ribs. And to finish
me off, DK picked me up, and carried me to the edge of the platform. He drew back, and
In the crowd, the spectators were terrified at the sight of their greatest
demolished in a fight. Ash clenched his fists and dug into the seat with his fingers. Misty
was staring, wide-eyed, at the ring. Samus, on the other hand, seemed slightly amused.
But Zelda was crying. She was watching her lover being crushed and killed. And she had
to watch it happen two more times.
Blackness. Everything was blackness. Then there was a voice: You have
remaining. Then I was back on the battlefield. I saw out of the corner of my eye
something. I turned in time to see Fox being grabbed and tossed like a doll. He flew, and
I saw a huge sharp crystal protruding. His back hit it, and the spike dug further into his
flesh. In a second it burst forth from his chest, soaked with gore. He choked, blood
spurting up from his mouth and chest, and died.
Rage. Indescribable rage shot through every nerve in my body. Kirby
didn't see, he was
waylaying Bowser, but when he turned he went white, literally. My vision was swimming
in red and my body started acting on its own.
"No, wait...remember the first fight?" said my rationality department.
"Oh, fuck off," said my adrenal glands. I whipped out the blade. When
I saw DK and
Bowser double-teaming Kirby, I just snapped.
"Aw screw it, it's ass-whuppin' time," said the rationality department.
I ran full force at DK, whose back was turned to me. With more adrenaline
in my veins
than ever before, I charged Donkey Kong. He turned just in time to see me try to skewer
him. He jumped back, but I slashed him up the front. He went flying backwards, and
landed on his back, in pain.
He got up just in time to have my sword-hilt smash into his face. He
went flying. He got
up, but I grabbed my Hookshot, skewered him with it, and kicked him off it. He went
flying. I turned, breathing rapidly, and glared at Bowser. He and Kirby were just standing
there, wide-eyed. Kirby jumped next to me, and faced Bowser. I lifted my hand, and
beckoned to him. "Come here," I said. He shifted into a fighting stance.
The fight raged on. There were many spectacular shows, and more than
bloodbath. Eventually we all had only one stock remaining.
I started fresh after being mauled by Bowser. I decided to fight Metal
Mario while Kirby
tangled with Bowser and Fox took on DK.
I hacked like a machine at him, but my blows merely reverberated off
his metal hide. I
was about to give up hope when inspiration hit me.
A plan formed in my mind while he fought back. I concentrated on dodging
while I thought as fast as I could. I finally was ready.
I battled and retreated back towards the edge of the platform. But when
swung, I grabbed his fist. Doing some judo move, I tripped him. Using his momentum I
launched him over the edge and out of the match.
Then my attention shifted. I saw Kirby fairing well enough against Bowser,
looked poor. DK Saw him misstep, and grabbed him. With his giant paw he gripped his
right arm and pulled. There was a sickening noise, a shower of blood, and then, sadistic
glee in his eyes, DK dropped Fox's arm to the ground.
Tossing him aside, DK lumbered over towards Kirby. I saw Fox in agony,
from his shoulder to the beat of his heart. Blood pooled all around him and soaked
through his clothes. Coughing, he finally lay still.
I started towards Kirby at a dead run, determined to save him from being
with a new fervor, I took a flying leap at DK and plunged my sword into his back.
At first, I felt resistance---bone. But I continued to gouge and scrape
at his flesh while he
writhed in agony. He flailed about trying to get me off his back, but I clung to him and
redoubled my efforts. In a minute I had snapped his spine and he was paralyzed. He fell
to the ground just as my sword burst out of his chest.
Kirby, meanwhile, was watching with awe and fear. He didn't see the
Koopa behind him
until it was too late.
Bowser grabbed him in his huge paws, inhaled as deep as he could, and
spewed fire from
his mouth. Kirby was engulfed in flames, and the nauseating smell of burning flesh came
to my nostrils. By the time Bowser was through, there just wasn't anything left---just a
pile of ashes.
That was it...I charged. Hacking like a thresher machine out of control,
I managed to
drive Bowser over to the edge.
He reeled on the edge, and I tipped him with the point of the sword.
He plunged off the
The fight was over.
I didn't have the strength to look cool. I just keeled oven onto the metal floor.
Everything was hazy and fuzzy. But I saw it as if it was happening again...
I saw myself in a huge field. Two figures stood over me, shrouded by
the darkness. Rain
poured down. Fires burned in the city behind us. One of the figures picked me up and ran.
My young body was cradled in her arms. The other figure stayed behind.
I got a fleeting glimpse of him holding a sword and rising up to defend
himself against a
shadowy figure, then being struck down.
He was my father. She was my mother. The figure was Ganondorf. Everything
Then I saw something different. I was older, but in almost the same
drawbridge to the castle came crashing down and the beat of hooves thundered to my
ears. Then I saw it...a horse. On it was a woman riding like mad. Behind her, her face in
stark terror, was a little girl I somehow recognized. She looked at me for an instant, then
threw something into the moat. Then the horse and it's riders vanished into the rainy
Then another horse arrived...jet black, matching its rider. The rider sneered.
Then I was in the forest. I looked down at my hands, and saw I was much
strangely felt the need to move and was drawn into a clearing in the forest. I Pulled by
some invisible force, I stepped forward into the fog. I sensed the presence of someone.
The fog lifted and I saw...
A tall, muscular man, wearing what looked like a tuxedo except that
the forearms and
shins were white. He wore a large, deep blue cape. And disturbingly familiar _white
I spun into darkness once more.
"He's waking up!"
I heard these voices. There was a bit of light ahead. I moved toward it.
My eyes fluttered open. I was hot and felt sick.
"Where..." I gasped.
Then I saw. I was in the bed of our mansion. Zelda sat in a chair beside
me, and a few
others hovered around the bed.
"Are you o.k.?" asked Ash.
"Am I?" I returned. "'Cause I don't know."
"Link, you've been in a coma for three days. I don't know what happened
but I think you
just collapsed from exhaustion."
My eyebrows went up. "Really? Wow."
"I think you overexerted yourself," said Fox. "Don't pull a stunt like that again."
"Well, at least we won," I said. "Well...now what?"
"I can answer that," said a voice form nowhere. I looked around but
not for long. There,
standing over me, was the antagonist of my existence: him. The Master.
He didn't look angry, although he was really having trouble restraining
himself. I got the
feeling that he was trying to be cool about a crushing defeat. He thought that fight would
end this forever.
"Well..." he remarked. "You're alive. H'mmm." He paced around my bed.
"What do you want?" I demanded, rising out of bed.
"A date. I'd like to meet with you."
"You and me..." he smiled. "To the death."
I realized what he had just said.
This was it.
"Midnight. Three days from now."
"But that's..." I said
"Yes. That is the anniversary of your capture."
I was stunned. Speechless.
"So now, I recommend that you use these three days wisely. Train, rest...but
These three days..." He grinned maniacally. "...will be your last."
And with that, he disappeared into the air.
End Part 10.