Disclaimer: -Hisses a sigh- I do not own Invader ZIM. Invader ZIM is copyrighted by Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon Studios.
Well… this is just a little goofy fanfiction I made up about GIR hosting a talk-show – Eh, tell me what you think of it.
Announcer: Aaaaaand now, here's your host of Friday Night Live… (Pauses for dramatic effect. Two spotlights turn on and begin zigzagging around the stage, illuminating three chairs and a desk, where a very small figure is sitting. The spotlights slow and finally stop on the figure, revealing a blue-and-silver robot with large eyes.) …GIIIIIIIR!
GIR: (Smiles and waves to a cheering, screaming, whistling crowd, and giggles.) AH'M ON TV!
Announcer: And now, our first guest… (The cameras shift to the left-stage entrance, where a shadowy figure is emerging. The spotlights are thrown on the figure, to reveal…) …MARTIN MYSTERY!
Martin: (Poses model-ishly, to the adoration of girls who sigh happily and fall on a heap in front of the stage, to be trampled by other people, screaming and cheering and whistling.) Hello there, ladies. (Smiles slyly and gives a thumbs-up to GIR, who giggles harder than ever and falls off his chair.)
Martin: (Prances his way over to the first chair, and sits down in it in the most regal way possible. GIR has regained his seating, as the voice of the announcer booms over the heads of the crowd, drowning out the slowly dying cheers.)
Announcer: And here's our second guest… (The cameras switch now to the right stage entrance, where a tall figure appears in shadow. The lights are cast upon the new figure, revealing a girl of Martin's age.) …DIANA LOMBARD!
Martin: (Falls off his chair to the amusement of the crowd.) DIANA! But I – But you – BUT –
Diana: (Cuts him off by smirking haughtily and sauntering over to the second chair from the desk, next to Martin.) I know. You threw out my invitation, but thankfully for my adoring fans, our host decided to send me two.
GIR: (Smiles hugely.) SHE OWNS A SQUIRREHLLY!
Announcer: (Clears throat and interrupts their conversation.) And for our last and final guest… (The camera cuts once more the left side stage.) …NORMAL BOY ZIIIIIM! (ZIM enters looking very superior indeed. He swaggers over to the final chair and sits down, then looks in surprise at Martin and Diana.)
ZIM: (Loudly he begins to talk.) Hello filthy human worm-babies, I am absolutely normal, and you can see that by my appearance on the –
Martin: Oh my gosh, he's an alien! (Points heatedly at ZIM.)
Diana: (Defending ZIM's case.) MARTIN! That has to be the most pig-headed idea you have ever had! He's not an alien! He has hair. Do aliens have hair?
ZIM: (Donning a fake look of sadness.) Thank you, Diana, but I'm not worthy of your defense…
Diana: (Softens and gives him a hug. Over her shoulder, ZIM shoots a triumphant look at Martin.) Oh, you poor thing. You must be so misunderstood. (Turns around with a murderous look to Martin.) I'm sure my pig-headed brother didn't mean it.
Martin: I did so –
GIR: LESSGETTON WIDDA QUESTIONS! (Stares at Martin for a moment before the spotlights fix on Martin and GIR, tossing ZIM and Diana into shadow.)
GIR: (Starts talking all talk-show-hostey like.) So, Martin, tell us of your life.
Martin: Well, GIR, I began to be interested in aliens at a very young age. Aliens and monsters, anything paranormal, sparked my imagination to the brim, and –
Voice: (Diana's voice icily cuts through Martin's talking.) And you began to believe in the stupidest things –
Martin: (Screams at Diana in the shadows.) NOBODY ASKED YOU!
Diana: (Squeaks an apology and goes silent.)
Martin: Anyway, as I was saying, the limits of possibilities for paranormal studies was endless at the time, and at the age of sixteen my sister and I were enlisted in the –
Diana: (Interrupts him.) In theeee, eh, Paranormal Investigators! (Breathes a loud sigh at being able to come up with something so fast.)
Martin: (Annoyed) Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever. The 'Paranormal Investigators'. And so we began our –
GIR: (Interrupting Martin for the third time since the question was asked, begins to scream.) LEPRECHAUNS! WHERE ARE MY LEPRECHAUNS! LEEEEEEEEEPREEEEEECHAAAAAAAAUNS!
ZIM: (Begins screaming as well.) GIR! STOP THAT! GIR! STOP SCREAMING!
Announcer: (Points out.) You're screaming too.
ZIM: (Hesitates before screaming) I AM NOT SCREAMING!
Announcer: (Sighs) Yes you are.
Martin: (After the annoyed ness wears off, he starts rolling around on the floor, laughing his head off as ZIM continues to scream at GIR, who is continuing to scream about leprechauns.)
Diana: That's IT! I've had ENOUGH! (Storms off the stage in a screaming rage.)
ZIM: (Screams in absolute horror and anger and zooms off the stage through the right of the screen, opposite Diana.) GYAAAAAAAAAAH!
Martin: (Wipes a tear from his eye and sits up, he and GIR being the only ones left. The crowd begins to clap hesitantly.)
GIR: (Throws up his hands and screams.) I LUFF YEW PEOPLE! (The crowd throws off it's hesitant-ness and begins to scream, cheer, and whistle. GIR jumps on Martin's head.) I LUFF YEWR HAIR!
Martin: …Oooookay… (Affectionately pats the nutsy little robot, who is clinging to his hair.)
Announcer: AND SO CONCLUDES THIS SESSION OOOOOOF…
(Friday Night Live's theme music plays in the backround)
Announcer: FRIDAY – (Crowd begins to clap) – NIGHT – (Crowd begins to cheer) – LIIIIIIIIIIIVE! (Crowd screams, cheers, claps, whistles, and waves as Martin and GIR exit the stage waving cheerily.)
GIR: (Imitating Snagglepuss) EXIT, STAGE RIGHT!
A/N: Well, there it is. This was so fun, I think I might do another one. You could give me suggestions as to who GIR could interview. And as for the Snagglepuss imitation… you all remember Snagglepuss, don't you? 'Cause if you don't, that means I'm old. –Screams- I DUN WANNA BE OLD! -Jabs random person with a spork-
-Clears throat- Ahem. Okay. Sorry for that. So anyway, PLEASE REVIEW… Though I don't wanna sound like a beggar. So yeah. Just, eh, review, AND MAKE THIS AUTHOR HAPPY!
-Whispers, imitating GIR.- I love the little reviews… I love them good.