Wow! Thank you all SO much for the wonderful reviews! -Sniffle.- I love my adoring public.
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader ZIM, Spyro the Dragon ™, Crash Bandicoot ™, or anybody else mentioned in this. The ideas mentioned in this chapter, however, are entirely my own.
Announcer: And now, the thing you've all been waiting for… FRIDAY NIGHT LIIIIVE! (The crowd in the studio erupts into whistling and cheering. When the crowd calms down, the announcer's voice booms out again.) And now, for our host… He who says, "Bow down to squirrels"! …GIIIIIIIIIIIR!
GIR: (Walks onstage smiling as wide as possible, waving his metallic arms around to his adoring fans. Out of nowhere he produces a rabid squirrel and throws it maniacally into the crowd. Screams erupt from one person, and then they go quiet.) HI!
Announcer: Er, well… yes. (Hissing to the stage crew.) Can somebody get that body out of here! Thank you. (Clears his throat and goes back to announcing.) And now, for our first guest – clear from the Dragon Realms themselves – that favorite purple, winged, fire-breathing dragon – SPYROOOOOOOO! (The spotlights train upon the right stage entrance, and all of a sudden a figure comes tumbling out of the entrance.)
Spyro: HEY! I didn't ask for you to throw me in here. (Huffily he stands up, waves to something in the right stage entrance, and out flies Sparx the dragonfly. He buzzes over to Spyro and then hovers over GIR, who jumps up on the desk and tries to catch him.)
GIR: WAIT! COME BACK! I NEEEEEEEED YOU! (Continues to hop up and down on the wooden desk, trying to catch the wary dragonfly, who buzzes around just out of reach.)
Sparx: Bzzzzz! Bzzzzz bzzz! (Buzzes angrily and flies back over to Spyro.)
Spyro: Dude… what's with the robot? (A man from the stage crew comes up and begins to whisper in Spyro's ear.) Uh huh… my host? Oh… okay. Later, dude. (The man jumps offstage and Spyro jumps up into the nearest plush chair. He looks around, then settles in as the Announcer's voice cuts over the crowd.)
Announcer: And now, for our second guest... that furry, loveable anthro… clear from Dingo Canyon! He who says "Crash Bandicoot would make good toast, if only I could catch him"… DINGO-DIIIIIIILE!
Voice: (Coming from the left stage entrance.) Tha's Dingodile, mate. No Dingo-dile 'bout it. (Dingodile enters from the left stage entrance, his flamethrower slung on his back.)
GIR: (Giggles) YOU LOOK LIKE A DAWGGEH! (Jumps on Dingodile, clinging to his ears.)
Dingodile: Oy! Gerroff! (He pries the insane little robot from his ears and sets it on the desk, sitting down in the second plush chair.) G'day, mates. (The crowd goes wild for the weird-looking bad-guy. He grins a toothy crocodile grin.)
GIR: (Finding a sudden interest in the camera, GIR flies off the desk and clings to the front of the camera.) HI CAMERA! YOU NEED A SAMMICH! (Pulls out a ham and mayonnaise sandwich and attempts to feed it to the camera.)
Camera Man: GIR! GIR, GET OFF THE CAMERA! (A black-gloved fist appears from around the camera, waving it at GIR.)
GIR: (Falls to the floor and then snaps to attention, his bright blue parts turning a blood red.) YES, MY MASTER! (Turns blue again and then runs up to the desk, hitting his head on it and falling over with a metallic clang. He then flips over on the floor, and crawls around the side of the desk. He pops up again behind the desk, shuffles some papers, and smiles like a talk-show host should.)
Camera Man: Good GIR.
Announcer: (Clearing throat.) Ahem. Um, so, anyway, our next guest is –
GIR: (Suddenly and out of nowhere pulls out a sandwich and flings it at the cameraman.)
Camera Man: YOU DARE THROW A SANDWICH AT ZIIIIIIM? PREPARE TO FACE YOUR IMMINENT DOOM!
GIR: I LIKE DOOM!
Camera Man: … (Hesitates.) Uh… okay. (He goes back to the camera.)
Announcer: (Rather angrily) As I was SAYING.
Spyro: What were you saying? (Looks confused by all the madness.)
Announcer: …Uh… (Long pause.) …I…Don't…Know.
Dingodile: (Rolling his eyes.) Th's's groit and all, bu' shouln't we getton with tha next guest?
Announcer: OH! Right. (Clears throat for the third time.) For our third and final guest… and we'll skip the introduction… ALMIGHTY TALLEST RRRRRRRED!
Red: (Floats onstage through the right entrance looking hurt that the stupid human would not want to do his introduction.) I had a nice intro. (Shrugs and sits down in the last chair, whereupon he recieves stares from both Dingodile and Spyro.)
Spyro: What are you supposed to be, some kinda space alien?
Red: Eh-heh-heh. (Fidgets, looking guilty.)
Dingodile: (To himself) I wonder if he'd make good toast.
Red: (Eyes widen.)
GIR: HOMYGOSH LESSGETTON WIDDA QUESTIONS! (Calms down and looks very talk-show-hosty.) So, Spyro, I'm sure our audience has heard of your AMAZING adventure in Avalar.
Audience Voice: I HAVEN'T!
ZIM: SILENCE FOOLISH PIG HUMAN! DO NOT QUESTION THE SPYRONESS… NESS! (Produces and throws at another rabid squirrel.)
GIR: (Ignoring the screams from the foolish pig human) Please tell us, Spyro, were there any particular highlights that you liked about your trip?
Spyro: Well, GIR, I could say that I enjoyed the Skelos Badlands – all that heat made me feel like a young dragon again, in Mama's nest.
GIR: (Chuckles very un-GIRishly.) Yes, I'm sure it did. I've heard that the CatBat Quartet is very lovely in the Spring down around there. Wonderful music, wouldn't you say?
Spyro: (Blinks in confusion.) The CatBat Quartet doesn't –
GIR: NESS QUESITON! (The lights focus on Dingodile now.) So Dingodile. I've heard that you're a pretty darn good racer. What lead to your life as a race-kart driver?
Dingodile: Well, mate, Cortex said I shoul' race fer 'im and bea' tha' Crash Bandicoot, 'e did. Af'er pumpin' up mah kart wit' mah flamethrowa 'ere and 'avin tha mos' fas'est kart 'round, I decided I liked it.
GIR: Sounds very interesting. Some people have been passing it around that you're Australian. Does that have any truth to it?
Dingodile: Yup, it does, mate. Mah dingo side came from Australia, it did; mah crocodile side came from Africa, though. Bu' tha Australian accent stuck with me, sure 'nuff.
GIR: Yes. I hear in Africa the crocodiles are big enough to eat men! Is that true?
Dingodile: (Blinking.) Wha' das tha' haveta do wit –
GIR: MOVIN' AWN! (He jumps up on the desk and waves to the lights person. The lights swing off of Dingodile and onto Tallest Red, who screams and trys to hide his eyes.)
Red: IT BURNS! MY EYES! MY EYES!
GIR: I LUFF YEWR EYES! DEY SO PURTY AND RED, LIKE RUBYS THEY ARE! (Calms down.) Questions, begin we must.
Red: Why are you talking like Yoda?
GIR: Know this, I do not.
Red: (Blinks and shrugs.) Ah well.
GIR: Leader of Irkens, you are?
Red: Well, part-leader. Purple also rules with me. (Waves to the camera.) Hi Purple!
GIR: End this show, we must.
Red: But you only asked me one quest –
GIR: G'BYE EVERYBODEH! (He leaps down from the desk and runs screaming from the room. The guests all stand up and leave.)
Announcer: (Sounding startled.) Well… ahem… AND SO CONCLUDES THIS EPISODE OF FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE! Tune in next time for an EXCLUSIVE guest!
(The crowd roars as the show fades off the screen to be replaced by a screen.)
Screen with words: NO RABID SQUIRRELS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS PROGRAM. HUMANS, HOWEVER, WE CAN NOT SAY.
A/N: XD HAHAHA! This is so hilariously fun. Again, thank you for all the wonderful reviews on the first interview session. And as for the exclusive guest… I'm not gonna say. –Winkwink.- You'll just have to wait and see. I'll post the next chapter when I get ten reviews total.