A/N: I assure you this is not an oozing lemon with Inuyasha and Kagome's mom with InuyashaxKaede implied, nope, no siree!

Warning: Rated PG13, to be safe of course; and don't worry, this ain't anything explict :) Unless your mind strays otherwise…. :D

Summary: Kagome hears some pretty kinky things while eavesdropping behind a door. Inuyasha and her mom? What the!


"These Plastic Ones Are quite Popular…"

Kagome was up to no good again. Not that she ever was. Sure she seemed empathetic for other people's problems but that was all a mask. A pretense! A façade! She had dropped out of high school months ago, yet she never ceased with her lies of going back to her era to "study."

Most of the time she stays home to play on her computer, feed her Neopets, go to dates with Hojo (which was actually her cheap way of getting free meals) and slaving over her favorite TV shows. She had just finished polishing off an entire hour of Jerry Springer. Her favorite, she must say, was 'My grandmother is a stripper.' Makes you think doesn't it?

This time she had gone to "study" a lot longer than she had promised. Karma hits you like a bitch. Her nosiness takes a toll as she accidentally overhears (translation: eavesdrop) an innocent conversation…

-

"Ms. Higurashi. I don't think I can do it," muttered Inuyasha. A kind laugh escaped from Kagome's mother. Kagome twitched, wondering what on earth was Inuyasha doing in her kitchen with her mom doing who knows what!

"I said to call me 'Mommy,'" insisted Ms. Higurashi with that breathy airy tone of hers. "It's not that hard right?"

"That's what you think. Last time Kaede showed me, it dripped all over my hands," he whined.

"You're not holding it right dear, here let me hold it."

"No!" said Inuyasha startled, "Only I'm allowed to touch it."

Kagome's mom smiled thoughtfully. "Well fine, I'll get out my plastic one and show you how to hold it. We can practice together okay hun? Don't worry about it."

"Why do you have a plastic one? Those can't do anything," said Inuyasha befuddled. Kagome's mom smiled coyly and shook her head.

"Actually, these are very popular, especially with young people. Kagome's grandfather insisted I get one, although I have no idea what to use it for," she winked.

"Do you think I'll ever learn?" asked Inuyasha quietly, barely audible but just loud enough that Kagome heard.

"Everyone does this, so no need to feel awkward. And I'm sure lots of people have trouble with this, especially young people –not to be stereotypical– so I'm glad you came to me for help! I'm an expert at this sort of thing."

Inuyasha smiled with relief, baring his fangs a little. He studied it carefully and brought it up to his mouth.

"Oh no dear! Don't use teeth!" exclaimed Ms. Higurashi. "Try holding it like this and adding pressure near the tips."

Kagome was already dialing the number to Dr. Phil as a massive headache arrived. She twitched a few over gazillion times and tried to convince herself that this was not as it seemed.

"Inuyasha, harder," whined Ms. Higurashi.

"I'm trying," grunted Inuyasha, gripping it more tightly. Visible banging noises were heard from where Kagome was eavesdropping.

"Look! A bit is coming out, do it harder!" she insisted, throwing her head back and clapping.

"Kaede said not to do it too hard, she hates it whenever I do it hard," he pointed out.

"It will never come out if you tap it gently," said Kagome's mom, waving it off with a laugh.

"Maybe I should practice with the plastic thing…"

"Shit," cursed Inuyasha, gritting his teeth. "See, it's all over my hands again. This white drippy liquid is sticky to touch. This is gross!"

Kagome's mom giggled at how Inuyasha's ears would flatten and his eyes narrow whenever he was frustrated. "Don't worry, we can clean this up real quick, even before Kagome comes home," she said, moping up the egg yolk mess that Inuyasha made while trying to make an omelette.

Kagome fled the scene.


A/N: How do you like it? I felt like writing another one of these since the last one was such a hit XD