Shared Secrets by Rai-kun

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is from the wonderful mind of Rumiko
Takahashi. This piece of work; however, is from my mind,
so tread carefully.

Warning: Lemon and Lime.


The dull yellow light of lampposts flickered to life as
late afternoon gave way to early evening with even the sun
calling it quits. The moon took its turn to babysit the
Earth, signaling the start of a new and different sort of
day as people exited their houses to embrace the night.

Two "nightlifers" in particular revealed themselves to be
Ranma Saotome and Kasumi Tendo. Not an all-together
uncommon sight, these two, but at this hour? It would
certainly perk the curiosities of a particular Tendo
sister, were she not away on a school trip to Okinawa at
the moment.

They walked the damp streets together as quietly and
discreetly as two mice would around a hungry cat. Kasumi
kept her face bowed, not willing to lift her head too high
lest anyone get a good look at her features. Ranma himself
looked no less suspicious as he kept his head on a swivel,
on the lookout for seemingly anyone or anything.

"Do you think this was a good idea?" Ranma finally managed
to ask the older girl, cutting into the silence.

There was a moment of indecision, but it passed quickly.
"Yes, Ranma," Kasumi finally managed to say. She added a
firm nod to her response, which helped to steel her

"We've tried everything else, right?" Kasumi asked him, to
which Ranma replied by giving her a hesitant nod.

It was true. The two of them had tried to get together in
private over the past few months, but whenever and wherever
they met, it seemed people and obligations dogged them
without end or fail.

It had been about a month or so ago that he had gone to
Kasumi with his problem. Disclosing his secret need to her
had been a revelation as in each other they found a kindred
spirit of sorts.

It was for that reason that she had tried her best to steer
the others members of the house away from him so that he
would be afforded some free time to himself. It was to no
avail, of course, but the gesture alone had been
appreciated and it gave him a whole new perspective on the
eldest Tendo sister.

Kasumi looked over at her companion and knew immediately he
was getting edgy. The tenseness of his body language spoke
volumes, but it was because she herself shared the burning
urge that he felt that she understood him so well. It was
maddeningly frustrating, like an itch that couldn't quite
be reached on your own.

Ranma had long since reached the point of critical mass,
truthfully. Looking down, he glanced at his poor sack that
was already bulging and distended from the load it
contained and looked ready to burst at any minute. It
would never have gotten to this point had he been allowed
some private time, he wanted to note. He would've
preferred a once a day schedule together with Kasumi, but
their respective obligations forced them to a harried get
together once every two weeks, if they were lucky.

He shifted his burden slightly as the strain on his back
was beginning to bug him. A moment of panic flared when he
felt his package stir and threaten to spill out on the
street, here and now, in embarrassing fashion.

This was all just intolerable and unhealthy for a growing
boy, as far as he was concerned, and merely the icing on
his cake of misery.

Kasumi readily agreeing with this sentiment was not
surprising, since she was the understanding sort. That
Kasumi would be such a ready and willing partner in this
affair was. He always had her pegged as the type that
would never go for such a thing, but she played the part of
accomplice with no issues.

Their journey soon came to an end; however, as they stood
in front of a building that advertised its name and purpose
in garish pink neon lights.

Perhaps it was a harebrained scheme borne out of sheer

"The 'Playful Kitten', Kasumi?" Ranma asked her, raising an
eyebrow. The name was just so... Kasumi, even if it did
serve to send a light shiver up his spine.

...but it made so much sense to Ranma when Kasumi had
proposed it!

"It sounded cute," Kasumi replied sheepishly with a small
shrug. Her strained laughter matched Ranma's own as each
waited for the other to make the first move.

She played with the hem of her skirt, while Ranma coughed
once then twice. "Well," he boldly began, "no point just
standing around here then, right?" Ranma asked, earning a
nod from Kasumi.

He led the way in stiffly like a rusty windup toy.


1-1-9, Nerima, Nerima-ku, Tokyo 167-0001, Japan.

At one point in history, there was significance to this
address. The building that stood in that spot was once
called the "KAT Building", named after its founder Hideo
Katsumori, for the purposes of advancement and training in
the field of science.

It was constructed in 1958 as a center to further the
development of equipments and techniques that would aid in
the betterment of mankind. It was a veritable think tank
where miracle cures were dreamed of and men of great
intellect paced the very halls, embracing the principles of
freethinking and speech.

But what about nowadays, you might wonder.

Fast-forwarding almost fifty years to the present, we still
have equipments, techniques, wonderments, and embracing in
the hallowed halls. Just with a wholly different intent.

While Nerima would never be whispered in the same breath as
Shinjuku in fulfilling the sinful pleasures of the flesh,
it did have its share of patrons and venues that catered
specifically to particular tastes. The "Playful Kitten"
was just one of such places.

It served as an out of the way dive of a motel that catered
to the here and now demands of Casanovas on the go. All
the amenities that could be crammed into a posh concrete
bunker were included. Why, if you were one of the lucky
few, you'd even be afforded the luxury of a window
overlooking the sights of the city. Nothing quite puts the
romance in a one-night stand like the expansive view of the
slums, after all.

All kidding aside, the place was a dump. Numerous economic
downturns, bad financial management, and a knock-kneed
economic market had, over time, done as much damage as a
bomb ever could have.


The awkward couple entered room 202 wearing identical
flushed red cheeks. The fat grin that the old woman at the
front counter had been wearing was meant to be reassuring,
but they both knew instantly what she was thinking.

All the planning between Kasumi and himself had finally led
to this. They were both well aware of what would happen if
they were caught, but it was from a mutual need that they
both shared that drove them to these extremes.

Ranma fidgeted with his hands in his pockets, standing
stiff and rigid. Kasumi was faring no better, as she made
a careful study of her shoes. That it was a shared
uneasiness made it somewhat easier on them both, but the
air was still thick with tension.

"So..." Ranma nervously broached, breaking the ice. "Here
we are." Kasumi simply nodded her head, fearing the
butterflies in her stomach would flutter out her mouth if
she spoke.

Ranma and Kasumi both pointedly looked at everything except
each other initially, as they made a quick study of the
room. In Ranma's eyes there were only three important
things in the room - the bed, himself, and... "Kasumi?" he
asked, wondering if this was okay with her.

"This will do nicely," she told him. The awkwardness was
fading quickly and she was starting to feel more relaxed

Ranma took her word for it as he headed for the heart-
shaped, lacy bed and lay across the top. He made an odd
face when he felt something under his head and made a move
to retrieve whatever it was.

Kasumi, meanwhile, took off her coat and laid it across the
back of a nearby chair when she heard Ranma make a sudden
gurgling, choking noise. Worried, she turned quickly
around. "What is-Oh my!" Kasumi exclaimed, bringing her
hands to her mouth. She couldn't stop herself from staring
intently at the prominent - 'Ribbed. Cherry flavor.
Magnum size!' - label on the packet held between Ranma's
quivering fingertips.

They shared strained laughter before Ranma flung the object
into a nearby waste bin. Tension was back in full force,
once again, filling the air with its presence.

Kasumi found herself trading places with Ranma as now she
herself was on the bed, while Ranma chose to stand and
stretch. She marveled at the softness of the mattress,
comforted that it was not so dissimilar to her own at home.

"Ranma, what are you doing?" she asked, on noticing him
poised near a wall.

He held up a finger to forestall her question and wrapped
the wall lightly with his knuckles. "It's solid," he
announced, pleased with the result. "Just checking to see
if the sound was going to bleed through."

"We aren't going to be THAT loud," she told him.

"Well, you do get pretty loud when you get into it," he
pointed out, to which Kasumi could only flush since she
couldn't really refute his claims. "Besides, it'd be weird
for other people to hear what we're doing. Since we're
going to be... well, you know?"

Kasumi nodded.

"So, shall we get started then?" he asked, hefting his
weighty package and grinning at her reaction. "Like what
you see? Should be more than enough to keep you

"Probably too much," he amended, on second thought.

"I can handle it," Kasumi informed him; brushing aside his
concern and worry.

"If you say so."

"Just stick it in and let's get started," she told him, a
hint of annoyance creeping into her tone at his teasing.

And so it began in earnest with a simple thrust.


Kasumi was writhing on the bed with uncontrollable tremors
wracking her body. She was flushed; sweat dotting her brow
as she fought to catch her breath as Ranma continued his

"Oh, Ranma," she said breathily. "That was so good-"

Her words were cutoff as Ranma began again, leaving Kasumi
a quivering mess. She shook the bed with the intense force
of her pleasure, causing Ranma to pause long enough to
crack a grin at how open the girl became with his efforts.

When she began hyperventilating though, Ranma toned it down
so she could collect her wits. She did so slowly, holding
a hand to her head as she stared up at the ceiling in a

"Are you okay?" Ranma asked; as he looked down at her on
the bed, while wearing a catty grin. "Was I that good?"

"You were better than good," Kasumi mewed, rolling over on
her side so she could address him better. "You were great.
I never knew you could do that," she exclaimed,
embarrassing the modest pigtailed boy.

"Oh, come on now," Ranma said, thinking it was a bit much.

"No, I'm serious. I mean, who would've ever thought,"
Kasumi began, "that you of all people could do a dead on
impersonation of Etoh from Record of Lodoss Wars," she said
with a disbelieving shake of her head.

"Now, Parn, what have I told you about picking fights with
legendary dragons when you can't even beat Lord Cashew in a
sparring match?" Ranma mimicked, taking on the softer voice
of the gentle cleric.

Kasumi pointed enthusiastically. "That's it! You've got
that so dead on," she told him.

Ranma grinned before pulling another stack of tapes from
his burlap sack. "So what should we watch next?" he asked
Kasumi, who was humming in deep thought, while browsing the

"Man, Hiroshi recorded a lot of stuff," Ranma noted aloud.
"Almost broke my bag with how many tapes I crammed in
here," he noted, eyeing the frayed bottom edges.

"Hello, now what's this?" Ranma asked aloud, pulling out an
oddly decorated box. "Lemon and Lime," he said, reading
the title across the top. Flipping it over there was a
picture of two men on stage dressed as a lemon and a lime
respectively, performing stand-up.

Ranma grimaced then chucked the tape back in the bag. "So
THIS is where Hiroshi got those lame jokes from..."

"How about this one next?" Kasumi asked, holding up an
orange and blue colored box.

Ranma blinked. "VGR?" Kasumi shrugged. "Yeah, I guess.
It can't be all that bad."

While waiting for the company logos to go by, "This is kind
of nice, isn't it?" Kasumi asked. Ranma looked at her from
his seat next to her on the bed. "We get to watch our
anime in peace since this is the absolute last place
anybody would look for us."

Ranma grinned, not wanting to jinx it with any further
words. "Shh. It's starting," he said.

The life of an anime otaku was fraught with peril.

The End.


Author's Note: It's not the words that are perverse, but
the mind that corrupts those words towards perversion.

Ministrations: The act of performing the duties of a

Kapei Yamaguchi, the voice actor for Ranma in Ranma 1/2
just so happens to be the voice actor for Etoh in Record of
Lodoss Wars.

Wasn't the "Lemon and Lime" warning helpful?