...My procrastinating self. Didn't do my essay and while in school, I thought about a cross over humor fic. And thus, this was born! Random stupidity ensues! My friend was talking about how her oh-so serious sister was on a sugar rush, and she acted crazier than her. I was like: "Sugar Rush!" And this popped into my mind!
A/N: I'll be changing the summery soon...I just couldn't think of anything.
Warnings: All my fics always have some element of shounen-ai, why should this be any different? Random Shounen-ai pairing(s). Cursing, a lot of saying 'random'. Cross over from Fire Emblem 1, 3, and 6. Suggestive themes(what the hell?).
Disclaimer: I wished I owned those two games, but I don't! If I did, well..hehe! It'll turn into Oedipus the King! (It's an inside joke. If you read the drama, you'll understand)
Summery: What happens when you put one sugar high prince and one hot headed noble into Tales of Symphonia? Humor, Shounen-ai, Randomness and OOC-Ness ensues! Zelos steals Yuan's cookies, for reasons unknown, and Kratos is getting pissed off at Prince Marth. Roy's just there...Crossover characters from Fire Emblem. R & R.
Tales of Sugar Rush Emblem
Sapphire eyes sparkled as the redhead scanned the city of Meltokio.
"Wow, it's so..."
A woman, who had just happened to be walking past him, turned around. The woman had brown hair, rounded cheeks and her eyes were scrunched...she looked like...well, she looked like a Snorlax. (1)
But the red-haired noble was frightened by the monstrosity he faced.
"Did you just call me an 'it' young man-ahh! You short..."
She flew at him, like a beach ball, a one ton beach ball to be exact.
"Run away!" The 16-year-old yelled, rushing past her. Much to his horror, the woman still chased him. He could swear she was causing a 5.5 earthquake.(2)
Since the teenager was running at top speed, he didn't see the man in front of him.
"Gah! Watch it, you lil' brat!" The man yelled, stumbling back a little, but not falling. And the man was none other than, the great Zelos Wilder himself.
"I'm not little." The kid mumbled, looking up at him.
"I'm going to get you, you shrimp!" Zelos watched as the boy's eyes widened.
"Save me!" He cried, clutching onto his black shirt. Zelos gazed down at him, over at the fat women leaping over to them, and then grabbed the boy's cape as he began running. "AH! You're hurting my valuable neck!" He screamed, holding his cape.
"Why the hell are you even wearing one!" Zelos screamed as they closed in on his mansion. He did a flying kick, much to the kid's displeasure, and flew into his house. Zelos then slammed the door shut, locked it, and took a step back.
A few seconds later, the heard someone fly into the door. Zelos watched in agony as his door splintered.
"CHOSEN! Open this door now! You can't house that creep! He called me an 'it!'"
Zelos looked at the teenager, who was chuckling to himself and asked: "Did you call her that?"
"LIES!" They heard her scream.
The kid pointed at the door and yelled back: "Silence simpleton! I have said no such thing! Why is thee accusing me of such slander? You liar!"
Zelos groaned, stepped up and opened his door. The woman rolled in, nearly killing the former chosen and glared at him.
"Slander? How dare you! No one accuses me, the servant of the king, of such lies! I must take you to the king! He'll know what to do with you!"
Zelos got up, checked his limbs and narrowed his eyes. "Hey, I know you! You're that fat...er I mean, that woman who works for the king. Oh, you don't need to bring this kid to the king. He works for me. Sort of like...a pimp-assistant..."
"What's his name?" The woman bellowed. The kid raised an eyebrow, thinking of the definition of 'pimp-assistant'.
Zelos looked around and laughed nervously. "Hehe...his name's...Yuan! Yeah, Yuan. You've heard of him! My hunny! Yeah! Yuan come here!"
'Yuan' looked over at him, face distorted. "What? Who the hell's Yuan? I'm not your hunny! Don't insult me like that! I wouldn't want to be...all lovey with you! Eww!"
The woman, whose name was Elli, gave Zelos a suspicious look.
You DUMBASS! Zelos thought. He grabbed the boy's arm and pulled him over. "He's just...shy. Really, now you should go on your merry way."
'Yuan's' faced turned pink and he gagged, but Elli wasn't satisfied.
"I will go, once you prove to me that..." She stated. Zelos looked down at the kid and the kid looked up at him.
"You'd better not kiss me." He muttered.
"It's the only way..." The former chosen answered back, moving his face closer.
Elli was going crazy, screaming about how hot this was going to be when someone walked into Zelos' home.
"Zelos Wilder! You took my cookies! How DARE you! No one takes Yuan's cookies!" The half-elf roared, grabbing Elli's shoulders and throwing her out of the house. Yuan kicked the door shut and was about to yell at him again for taking his cookies when he saw the boy standing at his side.
"NO! Zelos has turned into a pedophile and is now stalking young kids! What has the world come to!"
The older redhead pushed the younger one away. "You dumb ass! If you had agreed, I wouldn't have had to kiss you!"
"You DIDN'T, you bastard! The cookie man over there came in before it happened, you dense stupid man!"
"Who the hell are you?" Yuan asked.
The kid stopped his rant, twirled around twice, put his hand to his heart, played his theme song and answered: "My name is Roy. Lord Roy for people under me. I am not conceited, but I act conceited to fit my image. The theme song playing now is my personal theme song, which I share with my father (3). I was traveling around with my friend, whose name is Marth, when I fell through this really random dark portal and landed here. I then stated how big the city was and then that fat broad chased me. So that is my story."
After he finished, crickets began to chirp, his theme song died and Yuan and Zelos were conversing at a table.
Roy's ego dropped. "Did anyone listen to my story!"
"Well, you kind of lost me after you talked about a theme song." Yuan said back. Roy groaned.
"Whatever, so I saved your ass, so you can get out of here now." Zelos demanded, pointing to the door.
"Did you call me an ass? How dare you!"
"Don't tell me to shut-up! How dare-"
"How dare this!" Zelos threw his shoe at his face. Roy did the Matrix and dodged, barely. The shoe wacked him upside the head.
Which knocked him out...
Yuan placed his forehead on the back of his hand. "He's kind of cute. Anyway, about my cookies. Raine made them for me! You freak! You stole them when I wasn't looking! Oh, no WONDER Lloyd was trying to cover you!"
Zelos, who was tired of listening to Yuan's extreme state of stupidity, glanced over at Roy on the floor.
The bottom of his chin was red, and he was drooling. Zelos cringed.
"Eww. Ok, Yuan shut-up. Take that kid upstairs."
"Fuck no! Don't tell me what to do! The only person who can do that is Martel!" He walked over to Roy, hauled him up and began going upstairs. "Hey, do you happen to have any soap? Lloyd thought it would be funny to eat mine, and he choked on it. Kratos had to give him the humping-maneuver(4) and got it out."
Zelos rolled his eyes at his friend's mis-pronunciation of the word and followed him.
Marth scratched his armpit and quietly followed behind a man with auburn-hair, a kid with brown-hair and a woman with black hair.
Damn, I love stalking people. Damn, this sugar tastes so damn good. Damn, I'm so damn hyper. Damn, I'm saying damn a lot!
"DAMN! DAMN DAMN DAMN!" The exiled Prince Marth let out, rushing over to the people he was stalking. "Damn you people! I want some damn sugar! I'm so damn hyper. Damn, save me!" He began doing the Robot in front of them.
Kratos' mouth dropped.
Sheena cracked up and Lloyd was still choking over the soap.
"Damn, I said help me before I injure my perfect body! Damn you people! Say something!"
Kratos placed his hands on Marth's shoulders to calm him down.
"Calm down man! Did your mother ever tell you not to have sugar?"
"Yes! Damn, but I love sugar! And if Sheeda was here right now...oh I feel bad for her. Damn, she'd be going home with five babies. Damn, I want some more sugar."
"Man, calm down!" Kratos reasoned.
"NO! Where the hell is Roy? Now if he was here, ohoho! I feel bad for him too. Damn, he'd be going home walking like-"(5)
Kratos gave the ex-prince a pimp slap. "That's sick!"
"Silence!" And then Marth gave him a bitch slap.
"Silence my ass!" Kratos began to choke him. Marth kicked him where the sun don't shine, and moon walked away...
Down the concrete path...
Kratos held his own sides and screamed: "You will PAY for that!"
"Damn, come get some!" Marth taunted, he flopped to the floor and did the worm.
Kratos pointed at him and said: "I'm calling you out!"(6) Marth got his feet and they had a dance off.
Kratos did disco while Marth broke dance.
Meanwhile, in Meltokio...
"Aiiiee! What the hell am I doing here?" Roy asked himself, floating off the king sized bed. He glided out of the room and bumped into Zelos.
The man looked down at him and frowned. "I really don't like you, brat."
"Don't like you either, Zelus."(7)
"It's Zel-os. Get it right!"
Roy brushed the comment away. "So have you seen a man with blue hair?"
"I've seen Yuan."
The noble narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't care if you-have-seen-him, Yuan.(8) Anyway, forgetting my corny joke there." He put out his hand. "Sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Name's Roy."
Zelos eyed the hand in front of him and smacked it away. "I hate formalities. My name's Zelos Wilder, ex-chosen on Tethe'alla."
But Roy wasn't listening, he was preoccupied with Yuan's ears. The half-elf had just so happened to appear out of nowhere.
"Your ears are slightly pointed. I like them. Once I told my dad I wanted to look like an elf in the middle of a speech! And he took me inside and smacked me upside the head. My friend Wolt had to comfort me. Comfort me...ah, what beautiful comfort that was...(9)" Roy began to go into a reverie, leaving Yuan and Zelos to perverted thoughts.
"BOO-YAA! Ahh, damn what a big place!" The three heard as someone broke down Zelos' door. "Damn, this place ain't as big as my place back in Altea. Oh damn, yes it is! I forgot that my palace was burned down. Hey, you with the black hair, yeah, you said this Zelos person was supposed to be here, show me to him, damn whore!"
They heard a smack and a girly scream that was not Sheena's.
"I'd know that girly voice slash scream anywhere! Marth!" Roy rolled down the stairs to meet his friend.
Marth turned his head, making his blue hair fly over his eyes. "Roy! Damn, it's you!"
Roy's face turned pale. "No...Marth...are you on...a Sugar Rush! Stay away from me!" He whimpered, hiding behind Zelos who was making his way downstairs. "Save me! Marth on a sugar rush is scary! He does scary things!"
Marth inched over to where Roy was slowly. "Rooooyyyy, why do you hiiiiddddeee behind that maaaannnn? Come herrrrreee please, daaaaaaammmmn it!(10)" He sang off-key, reaching his hands out.
Zelos was looking for some amusement in his life, so he stepped out of the way. Marth grabbed the cowering boy and grinned. "Ahhh, you look so damn cute!"
Kratos was giving Marth the finger while Yuan was explaining the story to the rest.
Zelos was watching, amused. This outta be good.
Marth's face moved closer to Roy's, an inch per second. "Your eyes are so damn beautiful. And although your 16 and I'm 20-something, I think you're cute."(11)
"Marth...don't do this! Think of Sheeda!"
"Damn Sheeda!" He clutched Roy's small hands...or large hands. "I love you!"
Everyone shut their mouths, even Presea, Raine, Regal, Genis and Colette who had just come in.
"Is that a chick?" Genis asked, pointing to Marth.
Roy's face was even paler than before. "You said that last time you were on a Rush and you almost killed me! Dude, you made me follow you on your wench-looking escapades." He looked over at the group. "F.Y.I, a wench is a whore."
Marth face was so close, that their foreheads were touching. "Yes, I did, didn't I? Damn, who cares, Sheeda beat my ass once I got back."
"Lilina did the same to me!"(12) Roy sniveled.
"She did? Wow, damn, I wanted to do that to you."
"Get away from me!" Roy cried.
"NO, damn it!"
Kratos was getting tired of their bickering, so he randomly took out a bag of sugar and whistled for Marth. Altea's ex-prince slowly turned around and his eyes grew in size.
"SUGAR!" He lunged for it. The angel replaced the bag with his fist and punched him in the face. "Ah, my beautiful, flawless damn face!"
Roy let out a sigh of relief. Zelos, who was still looking for some excitement, caught the boy's arm and called the prince's name.
The blue haired man looked up and over to where the two were. His face turned red with anger as Zelos kissed Roy.
"Doesn't that just piss you off?" Raine asked, trying to spur Marth on.
Marth banged his head on the floor boards for a couple of seconds, looked back over at them, french kissing now, Roy actively precipitating, and went back to giving himself a headache.
Yuan went back to begging Raine for cookies, and Genis asked Presea out, much to the help of Lloyd's subliminal tapes.
Kratos went back to laughing his ass off, Regal joined. Sheena and Colette rolled their eyes and counted their strands of hair.
Raine coughed and Lloyd brought out Yuan's soap.
After about an hour of death defying stunts, the group stopped.
Roy was rubbing his pants, for some unknown reason, near an unknown area, making unknown, audible noises. (13)
Marth kept eating his sugar, hissing at anyone who tried to take it away.
Kratos watched Roy's conspicuous actions, while shaking his head.
Yuan braided his long hair.
Raine watched Yuan braid his hair.
Colette dared Lloyd to eat the soap.
Lloyd began to choke.
Sheena, Regal, Presea and Genis did nothing.
Zelos was making food.
Another hour later, and it was nighttime. Marth was back to his cynical, sadistic, pessimistic, depressive self (14). And Roy went back into his mean, rash, arrogant, comforter self.
"I sometimes wonder if there is meaning to my existence." The prince stated, looking at his hand.
"'Course not, Marth. Life's a bitch, live with it. I hate Lilina and I want Wolt, but can I have him? Hell yeah, but will I be looked at like a freak? It's taboo!"
"Do you want to sit in a circle and talk about our feelings?" Colette asked. The group nodded.
Roy started: "Marth and I were on a quest to find the meaning of life, and we were attacked by some random Necromancer and Druid. They messed up their dark spells and they created a black hole. Thus, why we are here."
Marth was next: "I hate myself, I hate my life. My parent's are dead, and I want sugar."
Zelos was after him: "Life's a bitch."
Lloyd followed: "I. Love. Soap!"
Colette was also after him, but no one wanted to play anymore, since it was getting stupid.
Marth left to find some random super market for sugar...
And the rest...as they say...is history!
O.o; I've never made such a stupid fic before. But I wanted to do a Fire Emblem/Tales cross over. If any of you guys like this, and if you want me to, I'll write another chapter. Please R and R, and please no random flames! If you still don't get the Oedipus thing, check my profile in a week and I'll put it there. I know I used: Precipitating wrong, I used the other form. Damn...
1: She basically looks like the fattest Pokemon alive.
2: Some kid on my bus was fat, and me and my friend swore he caused a 5.5 earthquake.
3: The character's in FE always have theme songs!
4: I couldn't spell the word, so it's now that.
5: Ohh! Naughty, naughty Sugar High Marth!
6: Wanna challenge someone to a dance off? Call 'em out!
7: Greek God of emulation and something else.
8: It was supposed to match Yuan's name
9: Naughty Roy! Thinking of your best friend in that way!
10: His singing goes to the Fire Emblem Theme.
11: Marth's pretty old.
12: Lilina, Roy's girlfriend (I just say that)
13: ...wonder what HE'S doing. Also wonder what...or who he's thinking about. Being a lil' loud there, Roy-boy.
14: Actually Roy is very nice in personality and Marth...well the game I have of him is in Japanese. I just know the dude's righteous.