Disclaimer: I do not own any rendition of Les Misérables, and never will no matter how much I may wish it. I am not trying to offend anyone by writing this so please don't be offended.

Summary: A short guide about the loathed Mary-Sue including mockery by your's truly.

The Beginner's Guide to Les Misérables Mary-Sues

Once upon a time there was a cute little prostitute named Marie-Suzanne. Though unsafe, Marie-Suzanne decided to work the night shift. On her way to work she was attacked by a couple of gangsters who wanted to have their way with her. Then suddenly out of nowhere Javert road in on a white horse, beat up the gangsters, and saved Marie-Suzanne from being well you know. Javert and Marie-Suzanne fell deeply in love, and lived happily ever after with ten children.

Most of you are probably blinking at your screen, or possibly resisting the urge to hit something. Some of you may have written a plot similar to the one above. Whether you find my mockery humorous, juvenile, or irritating let us have a look into what really would have happened:

Once upon a time there was a cute little prostitute named Marie-Suzanne. Though unsafe, Marie-Suzanne decided to work the night shift. On her way to work she was attacked by a couple of gangsters who wanted to have their way with her. Unfortunately for our young prostitute, Javert didn't care for a prostitute's safety especially since he had a convict to chase. Marie-Suzanne was brutally raped, murdered, and nobody mourned at her funeral.

For Javert to play white knight would be horribly out of character. Disappointing? Maybe for some writers, but fortunately there are serious writers in the fandom who recognize Marie-Suzanne as the dreaded Mary-Sue. Don't be ashamed if you are guilty of writing this sort of character; after all it is a beginner's mistake that is easy corrected. This is why I decided to write this little guide in the first place.

What is a Mary-Sue you ask? Mary-Sue's most common trait is to warp canon to the author's desires as well as obtaining the author's wishes and dreams. These wishes often include shacking up with the author's favorite character, and all the while being adored by the rest of the cast. Mary-Sue doesn't have any realistic flaws, and if Mary-Sue does have flaws it only adds to the the Sue's beauty. Mary-Sue can never be unattractive, and all scars do not damage the Sue's beauty.

It is common for a Mary-Sue to be described in great detail whether it be hair, clothes, or any other specific trait the author has an attachment to. A lot of Mary-Sue's are based off of the author, and what he/she might wish to be. This usually includes a cliché tragic past that the author finds deep, though most readers may find it irritating. This tragic past is used for the Sue to angst over until finally her one true love helps her move on.

Speaking of the one true love concept, I must elaborate on this a bit more. A common Mary-Sue will shack up with a character the author finds attractive. There will usually be another one competing for this character's love, and Mary-Sue will upstage the character as well as humiliate him/her. No worries though, no matter how cruel Mary-Sue is acting, the cast members will praise her for her actions.

"How dar she tak mai Marius!" Cosette cryed, "That wech I'll make sur she payz deerly."

Eponine and Marius where in the midle of a hawt kiss while teh lark lookked on inn horror. How she hatted Eponine for stealing her hawt man, and now she was gonna makke sure tat Ponine payed.

"i don't no wat is wrong Eponine." Marius wined, "I thought I luved her, but now shes being so demanding."

"i'd never tret u lyke dat Marius." Eponine siad starring up at her luv.

Sometimes a Mary-Sue will disguise herself as Eponine as well. Most often Cosette abuse will result in these soft of fanfiction, and Marius will find that he only lusted after Cosette. He will realize that Eponine is better than Cosette in so many ways despite the fact that Cosette has never acted in the sort in either the book or musical. These sort of fanfiction include horrible spelling and grammar, and come along with a few flames shortly afterwards.

Now that some of you are educated on the basics of the dreaded Mary-Sue than perhaps you may be able to improve the fanfiction quality in our fandom. Though I'm assuming most of you know about Mary-Sue's, and might have found this humorous in some sort of way. Goodbye and Good luck with your writing.

The Twagic End