Say Goodbye to Yesterday

Disclaimer: Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Sam/Jack

Summary: 'His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

Author's Note: This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete

Chapter One

Gone with the wind

Sam was tired, injured, completely lost but most frighteningly of all; she was alone. The howling of the wind and battering of rain against the leaves, branches and floor of the forest did little to comfort her.

Exhaustion together with diminishing daylight forced Sam to reluctantly stop her search for the Stargate. She had absolutely no idea where the gate was and was running out of time in which to find it. The gash on the side of her head may have stopped bleeding but she was most definitely concussed and her left ankle was now the size of a giant grapefruit; obviously severely sprained.

Using the nearest tree as support, Sam gently slid down on to the wet earth. She winced slightly as her injured foot hit the ground at an odd angle, but quickly regained her look of sheer militant determination. It was the only thing keeping her going. If she allowed her shell to crack; she definitely wouldn't be getting out of here alive.

A slight breeze just then caused Sam to shiver, a stark reminder that if her injuries didn't kill her; the weather probably would. The fact that she was drenched right through to her underwear didn't help either. Lifting her knees, she hugged them to her chest. The tree offered some protection from the rain and wind but it could hardly be considered a shelter.

In terms of food she still had some supplies left over from earlier today. Enough for a short stay. That meant she had two options: find the gate or pray to god that they came back for her.

Daniel knew he was there before he had even turned the light on. He guessed they all had different ways of dealing with grief.

Teal'c was currently in the gym, pounding holes into the undeserving punch bag. Daniel had been walking aimlessly around the base until his legs had brought him here; Sam's lab. Incidentally, just where Jack had been sat in the dark for almost three hours now.

The young archaeologist watched as the Colonel squeezed his eyes shut in response to the blinding light before slowly blinking them open. He was staring right at Daniel. But he wasn't staring at him. His eyes were blank, dead, cold, shut. And in that single moment, Daniel understood. They had not lost just one friend today, but two.

"Jack," he spoke softly.

Jack made no hint of listening or answering.

Daniel tried again,

"Jack, maybe you should try to eat something."

"I'm not hungry," he didn't even sound angry, just plainly defeated.

Daniel dropped the issue knowing it would be a pointless argument. Instead he walked over to the seated Jack and sat on the stool facing him.

Jack looked up.

"I came here to be alone."

It was an icy statement cutting through the air like a knife but Daniel remained undeterred. He would be damned if he had to work with the Colonel of seven years ago. The cold, hard assed, soulless militant man still fighting his inner demons. Daniel knew this was killing him, all over again. He had taken Charlie's death so hard. In fact Jack had pretty much taken the job at the SGC in the hope that he'd be killed in action to escape his own whirlpool of misery. Now that he'd lost Sam as well . . . suffice it to say, Daniel was very scared.

"I know," Daniel replied, "You've been in here alone for nearly three hours. I thought you could do with some company."

"You thought wrong."

"Right," Daniel muttered rubbing a hand over his tired face.

Silence filled the room; the hum of Sam's computer the only background noise. Jack had refused a direct order from Hammond to turn it off. The General seemingly understood and had left the matter alone. The flickering lights of Sam's equipment were a small comfort to them all.

Predictably it was Daniel, who broke the silence again,

"Sam wouldn't want you to do this, Jack."

"Do what Daniel?" Jack snapped.

"It wasn't your fault."

"No, that's right, cos nothing's ever my fault!"

"You didn't push her."

"I may as well have."

"You were arguing, yes. But that didn't cause her to slip Jack. We were in the middle of a storm. We could hardly see a metre in front. It was wet, windy and dark. We couldn't have known what would happen."

"I could have gone in after her. I could have gotten her out."

"What and killed yourself too?"

"She's not dead!" Jack yelled with such ferocity that Daniel nearly fell backwards over his stool. Standing up, he yelled back in the Colonel's face,

"She's gone Jack! It's not your fault or mine. So stop feeling sorry for yourself! We're all hurting. We were all there. Godammit Jack! We searched for six hours straight. There was no sign of her. You know as well as I do that there was a next to nothing chance she hadn't hit the rocks. There was nothing we could do." His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."

And with those heart wrenching last words; Jack knew it was the truth. She was gone.

A tingle of warmth spread its way up her legs and through her entire body. She was there. She had made it. Her eyes were still heavy and they struggled to open in the bright light. Finding her strength, she forced them open. She didn't die for nothing. If this was heaven, she wanted to see it.

Heaven, it seemed, wasn't at all how she had pictured it. There were no magnificent gates, no clouds or harps. Heaven, it seemed, was a small five by six room with earth walls and a straw roof. A little fire was crackling away on the floor near her feet and a small window on the far wall said that it was apparently midday.

'Where were the angels?' Sam thought. Her question was answered as a face materialised in front of her. She had golden blonde curls with perfect porcelain facial features.

"Hello," she spoke, "How are you feeling?"

"Dead?" Sam whispered; her voice hoarse.

The kind face smiled softly, "No dear child. You are not dead. Although you gave us little hope that you would survive."

"What happened?"

"We were hoping you could tell us?"

Sam frowned, desperately searching her mind for any recollections.

Noticing her distress, the woman grasped her hand and patted it,

"Do not worry my dear, the memories will return. Now what is the name you go by?"

She bit down on her lip. Name? What was her name? She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember a thing.

A/N 2: Well? What did you think? Please review and let me know, I would greatly appreciate it, thank you!