Rule Number One

Angelus grinned as he stalked Jenny Calendar down the hallways of Sunnydale High School. He'd always found the chase to be as much fun as the kill, with Drusilla his crowning glory: he had driven her total made before turning her, extending her torment to eternity.

Jenny would be the first step towards destroying Giles: with the unusually effective English Watcher out of the way, he would have an almost clear run at Buffy. It would be fitting to make the woman who had rid him of his soul the first Slayer he killed.

Spike still had two Slayer kills to his credit, but Angelus was willing to take his time…

The sound of tuneless whistling distracted the master vampire, as he was about to pounce on his prey.

Angelus span on his heels, spotting the school janitor, who was sweeping the hallway with no apparent regard for the mortal danger he was in. Something in the harmonic of the whistling sat Angelus' teeth on edge, making his left eye twitch.

Ignoring the now cowering Jenny, Angelus advanced on the janitor, eyes full of malicious intent and pure, unbridled, rage. Hs face shifted into its demonic form, and he roared to get the man's attention.

The janitor looked up, smiled, nodded, and went back to his work.

Angelus' eyes narrowed; how dare this human ignore him, the Scourge of Europe? The old man seemed completely unaware of just how much danger he was in, despite the 250-year old vampire that was baring down on him, mouth full of very sharp teeth.

With one final roar, Angelus leapt forward, intent on snapping the janitors scrawny little neck.

Time slowed down, the janitor still seeming to ignore Angelus as the master vampire flew threw the air towards him. Everything moved like it was strapped in tar: so slowly that a moment felt like it lasted a year.

Then, seemingly so fast that he blurred, the janitor tilted the end of his broom so it was in line with Angelus' heart. There was a moment that felt like the entire universe had been stretched thin then let go, and time returned to its normal speed.

Angelus looked down at the wooden broom handle that was embedded in his chest. He looked surprised for a moment, then turned into dust and fell to the floor.

The janitor shook his head, grabbing a dustpan from his nearby cart. He carefully spewed the former vampire into a pile, before transferring him to the dustpan. A quick flick of the wrist moved the former Scourge of Europe into the nearby bin without ceremony.

"Oh my god." Jenny took a deep breath, "Thank you so much. I don't believe we've met: I'm Jenny Calendar; I teach IT."

The janitor smiled and nodded, before going back to his sweeping without a word.

"Well, thanks anyway." Jenny nodded, before hurrying out to her car. She turned the key as fast as she could, leaving skid marks as she took off as fast as she could.

She knew exactly where she had to go.


"Here, drink this." Giles placed a cup of tea in front of his girlfriend, having already added a generous measure of whisky to the brew, "You say that the janitor killed Angelus, just like that?"

"Yes." Jenny nodded, glancing at Buffy: the young Slayer hadn't said a word since she'd arrived. "It was like he knew that there was nothing Angelus could do to hurt him. I've never seen anything like it."

"Extraordinary." Giles took off his glasses and started to clean them, "Have you found anything yet, Willow?"

"I've hacked into the School District computer and accessed the personnel files." The red-haired hacker beamed with pride, "It says his name is Lu Tze, and he's from some place called Oi Dong…"

"Lu Tze?" Giles blinked, leaning over to read the information on the computer screen, "Well I'll be…"

"You'll be what, G-man?" Xander asked, "You know the guy?"

"I certainly know of him." The Watcher had a worrying smile on his face, "The man's almost a myth: he's mentioned in several of the Watcher Diary's, he is credited with saving the lives of several slayers, but nothing is ever proven. He seems to be a perpetual agent provocateur during historical events; always making sure that the hero succeeds, but never intervening too directly."

"Ok, but why would he kill Dead Boy?" Xander asked, already warming to the stranger.

"No way of knowing." Giles shrugged, "No one has ever gotten him to say anything."


Xander waited until everyone else had left school the next day before he approached the almost mythical Sunnydale High School Janitors Closest. He could smell something strangely like tea being brewed inside, and gently knocked on the door.

There was a moment of silence, and then Lu Tze opened the door a crack and looked out, his yellow teeth showing through his thin lips.

"I heard about what you did to Angelus." Xander shuffled his feet; "I wanted to thank you for saving Miss Calendar's life."

Lu Tze smiled and nodded.

"Look, I'm not like the others; I don't have any special powers…"

Smile. Nod.

"But I know what's going on in this town, and I want to help…"

Smile. Nod.

"I was wondering if you could teach me…"

Lu Tze's smile turned into a fully-fledged grin, and the door opened to admit Xander.

"Wow." Xander looked round the strange room: what could only be described as a bonsai mountain sat on the small able that served as a desk, a tinny waterfall cascading down its side. Scrolls hung from the walls, covered in writing the Xander couldn't begin to translate. A pair of intricately carved stone column, similar in appearance to Tibetan prey wheels, rotated slowly in one corner.

"I had hoped that you would seek me out, Mr Harris." Lu Tze spoke for the first time, almost making Xander jump out of his skin in surprise, "I've been keeping an eye on you: you have great potential.

"Um, thanks." Xander nodded, a little surprised, "I think…"

"I have much to teach you." The janitor smiled, "We shall start with the rule that Angelus forgot, Rule Number One: Do Not Act Incautiously When Confronting Little Bald Wrinkly Smiling Men…"

The End?