Hello my lovers! It's been so long. This chapter is a tad rush since I have something to do it a bit, but I really want to get this posted! I've been wanting to continue this fic for so long! Finally, I'm sorta able to.
Sorry for the long wait! But, thanks for the reviews! I love you all, hopefully most of you are still out there. However, you could be like me where you fall in and out of a certain fandom.
Warning: SHORT!!! Just a filler chapter, to get things rolling next chapter I hope will be delicious to make up for it.
I also haven't written anything in awhile so rough patches ahead!
you think it's cool
To walk right up
To take my life
And fuck it up
Well did you?
Well did you?
I see hell in
Taken in by surprise(surprise)
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside
-Jay Gordon of Orgy
Slept So Long.
When I woke up, to be honest I felt like crap. All I wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep. Somehow I didn't; I pushed myself out of bed grabbed some clothes and quickly went to take a nice hot shower before I was tempted to just collapse back onto the bed.
The whole time I stood in the bathroom, I tired not to think. If I didn't think, maybe they wouldn't wake up. I guess they slept. I tried not to look at my arms- I feared if I did something would trigger and the noise would start all over again.
The kitchen went dead silent when I entered. No surprise after everything that had went down last night.
I could feel their eyes on me as I made my way to the ice box for some juice, but managed to ignore them successfully as a pour myself a glass of OJ, even though they were giving me goose-bumps and made the hair on the back of my neck stand.
Taking a deep breath I turned around to face them, "Morning." I finally greeted.
Soda smiled, a smile that didn't reach his eyes, grape jelly covering the side of his mouth. "Mornin' Pone." He said before biting into the bacon and grape jelly biscuit sandwich.
I sat down and wrinkled my nose as he took a drink of the chocolate milk with his mouth still full. "Ew, Soda. Wouldn't that taste better with….something else."
"Shoot Pone, nothin' is better then chocolate milk!"
"Except beer!" Two-Bit hollered from the living room, where I had seen him enjoying his usual breakfast of chocolate cake.
I just rolled my eyes and let out a quick laugh. "Two-bit you're a few drinks away from becoming an alcoholic!" I hollered back.
He replied but I didn't understand a word he said with his mouthful.
I reached for a strip of bacon, inwardly bracing myself for a shout from Vanessa. But, none came. I nibbled at the bacon, testing and waiting. Everything was silent.
What the f-
"You alright Ponyboy?" I looked over to Darry, well where Darry was a minute ago sitting on the other side of me, but no longer was. I turned my head to see he was standing near the stove, pouring coffee into his cup.
I watched him for a second, noting the bags under his eyes had started to return, he sounded completely exhausted. My fault.
Still silence inside my head.
"Just thinking." I finally said slowly.
He stood there, watching me as he took a sip from his mug. Nervously I reached out and grabbed another piece of bacon, this time eating the crispy strip in two bites, before grabbing another. He was still watching me.
Beside me Soda coughed softly, "What are ya thinkin' about?"
Before answering him, I snatched a biscuit from the place sitting on the table. I cut it in half before spreading the sweet sticky grape jelly on the buttery deliciousness.
For the first time in several months I was able to eat without interruptions. Without feeling like shit about it. I brought the biscuit up to my mount and took a bite. It was delicious! For once I could eat without being told how weak I was, without being told I had no control, without being told how much of a pig I was.
I licked my lips and placed this biscuit on Sodas plate since I didn't bother to grab once for myself.
Slowly, I sipped on my juice; I honestly didn't know what I was thinking about. How strangely silent my mind was? Ha.
Let them hear what they want to hear, "I was thinking about last night and…" I paused taking in a deep breath, "I'm sorry. You were right Soda I'm just stressed. I can't keep just getting by in school with them mailing my assignments and work here. But, I'm scared about going back to school. I thought about transferring to Will Rogers High School…but yeah Soda, everyone knows! I'm sorry." Ramble. Ramble. I turned to Darry and gave him a weak smile, "I'm sorry Dar. I really screwed up." I looked down at my arm that was covered with a sleeve. But we knew what lay underneath, new cuts Jake had made.
"This," I raised my arm, "was a terrible mistake. I messed up again and things were going so good!"
Yeah right. During my pause I heard hushed voices and then the door shutting. Guess Two-Bit and Steve went outside to give us more privacy.
Darry walked back over to the table and sat down with a sigh. "We're making an appointment with Dr. Dawn as soon as she if back from her conference next week."
I sighed that was the last thing I wanted right now. "But Darry!"
"Stressed or not, yesterday you had a thing called a relapse Pony!"
I bit my lower lip. Don't argue back, don't get upset…Clyde might wake up! Taking yet another deep breath, I nodded tightly. "Alright…alright."
Maybe if I could keep this up, keep them from waking up I we can try and fix things. Try and go back to normal.
I could do this.
I may add something to this first thing in the morning. I'll make sure to put something on the next chapter if I do.
Will Rodgers is a High School in Tulsa that SE Hinton went to. So, I'm not sure if it was ever stated in the book, but maybe our Outsider Lovers went there. However, in MIAS, I just put Tulsa High School :)
So here he is enrolled in Tulsa High but hasn't attended physically since his suicide attempt in MIAS. Assignments have been sent home and he has a twice a week tutor and numbers to teachers when he has questions, he may be crazy but he still smart so not much help is needed from anyone but Darry to check over his work.
I never really had much a timeline in MIAS so I'm working on it to actually find out what month we're even in so I can get this ship a rolling! But hey it's just a fic, if I wanted it to be winter in this chapter and summer the next I can! P But, I won't lol.
Alrighty, gonna end this. Late night raid on WoW…I have already started the next chapter and my hubby is suppose to take the baby to his parents house tomorrow. Hope to see ya then!
Being a new mother, I now have insomnia. I'm up for like 2 day straight before crashing and letting the male species take over. So, during the nights I am awake I will hopefully be able to finish this without the two years between updates part :P