A/N: This is my first Yu Yu Hakusho fan fic. It is from Hiei's POV. If the story seems abrupt and concise, it is because I interpret Hiei to story-tell in this way. This is a one-shot, however I intend to write a short sequel. There is very mild shounen-ai, just a passing mention of possible H/K but that's it.

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Yoshihiro Togashi and Shonen Jump. No infringement intended, etc etc all that jazz. I'm poor so don't sue.

Rating is T for violence.

The Wreck of My Memories

As I have said, I had eyes that could see and ears that could hear before I was born. My power was so great that, upon my birth, the only way they could control it was to wrap me in sealing talismans. Had I known then what I know now, I probably would have killed the old women while I was still in the womb, but then I would not be who I am and I would never have embarked on the journey which brought me to Mukuro's service. In that the warrior I have become would never have existed, although what would have happened to me is a mystery even to myself.

Then again, I don't dwell on it much. It does me no good to lament the lost opportunities of the past. This I know too well.

It is no secret that I harbor untold anguish within me, that my past is as bloody as my future might have been. But there are things I have kept locked away from even Mukuro's prying eye, things that I have chosen to forget because they did not serve my greater purpose to enjoy the slice of flesh and the scent of spilled blood. Even when I grew weary of senseless killing, I did not bring these memories back into the light of day. It was too late, and it had been too long, to wish that things had been different.

But they could have been different. I know deep inside that things would have been different if not…

No. It does me no good to dwell upon my past and see those things which I have kept hidden. I should not plunge into the wreck of my memories.

I will sink forever…