The critically acclaimed Teen Titans story (in my own delusional dreams), Teen Titan Shorts!

(Applause)

Well I'm back and giving you, my readers another off the wall story of the Titans Universe. Hope you enjoy.


The Attack of the Killer Tofu

Everyone knows that BeastBoy eats tofu because of his views toward meat (one being that he turns into the very animals that are eaten) so in order to gain sustenance he eats tofu, a by-product of soybeans designed to mimic meat. We also know that BeastBoy likes mopeds, in his deranged quest of owning one so he can, as he says 'Impress the chickadees.' One more thing that is known about BeastBoy is that he once worked for a strange alien piece of tofu called Newfu that wanted to leave the planet earth on a space ship, but not without destroying the planet. Why did it want to do this, basically because it felt like it, though it came up with a great excuse about 'It's our way, we are Newfu.' But the threat was averted by the brave BeastBoy, at the sacrifice of his B-ped, and the alien piece of tofu was ironically defeated by Cyborg, who hated the stuff. However, a piece of tofu that bad doesn't stay gone forever and since Cyborg had forgotten to wash the dishes before shoving a piece of tofu back into the fridge a horrific mutation went underway. Combined with Starfire's alien mold and a new type of tofu that BeastBoy had bought the Newfu breathed life once again, though this time more powerful than ever before. Now, let's see if BeastBoy and his side-kick Raven can stand up against this daunting force and deliver the final blow to the evil known as Newfu, or fake interplanetary meat.


We find out hero lazily sitting on the Titans sofa, watching TV. However unlike usual he wasn't in a zombie-like daze, glaring at the TV so intently that his eyes would go bad after awhile. Actually he was a little distracted. He was beating his meat…okay, that was a horribly dirty pun. However, he was truly was beating a piece meat, a piece of beef that Cyborg had given to BeastBoy because he wanted the boy to tenderize the meat while he went out of the city on patrol with Robin and Starfire. BeastBoy wasn't too keen on the idea of beating…er…tenderizing the piece of meat but since he didn't really have to eat it BeastBoy didn't mind helping out Cyborg, who used the 'friend-card' to rope BeastBoy in.

"This is a lot harder than I thought." He thought, pounding away at his meat viciously (man, I need to find a different way of saying that) while the TV blared

As he did so his side-kick Raven waltzed in, book in her hand, nose in said book. She didn't bother to even acknowledge his physical existence in the world, let alone room as she headed for the kitchen, got a tea-cup, put a kettle on, and waited for the water to boil. Halfway through this ritual of hers she sensed a strain of emotion, hate. Looking up she saw BeastBoy attacking his meat without mercy and in his wild blitzkrieg against the animal product the tenderizing hammer slipped from his grip and flew through the air, toward the kitchen.

"Whoops…" he said, watching as the dangerous weapon sailed toward the fridge

Raven watched it as well, not particularly interested since it wasn't flying in her general vicinity, but watched as it collided with the fridge, denting it on impact. The sudden hit caused the contents in the fridge to jar, specifically a creature that remained dormant in the back…until today. Mha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

"BeastBoy…" Raven sighed, shaking her head in disdain, "Can't you be more careful?" she asked

"My bad." He said, walking over to the fridge

When he arrived he grabbed the hammer, which was still impeded in the fridge door and pulled it out, placing it on the counter.

"Cy's not gonna like this." he muttered, looking at the decent sized dent he had made in his frustration

That's when he swore he heard something coming from in the fridge. Curiosity peaked he opened the door and checked inside, but saw the usual. The 'good' food in the front, you know, the edible food and the bad food, the food that was still edible, but would probably send you to the bathroom faster that those 'special' brownies that BeastBoy had made for Cyborg's birthday.

"What in the world…" BeastBoy muttered, noticing something moving in the back

This wasn't exactly a strange occurrence, since a great manner of things moved in the back of the fridge, but this wasn't like the sentient blue mold or the demented purple slime or even the psychotic green gel, no this was stranger than the rest. Whatever was in the back was completely black, save for the yellow eyes, yellow tongue, and gleaming white teeth and seemed to be teetering on the edge of pure insanity and malcontent toward the green changeling and for some reason looked oddly familiar.

"Wierd." he thought, before attempting to close the fridge door

"Raaah!" it roared, lunging at the boy

BeastBoy didn't have time to even yelp as the strange creature tried to pull him in, to finish him within the confines of the fridge, not realizing that BeastBoy wouldn't fit inside.

"Raven, help!" BeastBoy managed to cry before the grip on his person tightened

"BeastBoy, if you really think I'm gonna fall for that well…well you're even more lame-brained than I thought." She said, ignoring him

"No really, help!" he cried, reaching for the meat tenderizer

"BeastBoy…" she sighed again, pulling away from her book to look at him, "You are horrible at jokes and pranks and if you really think…" she stopped when she noticed his body go limp, "BeastBoy?" she questioned, poking him and realizing that her friend was not moving, "BeastBoy!" she cried out, reaching over to him and pulling

This was either an elaborate hoax or BeastBoy was really in danger but Raven didn't care, she'd berate him after she realized he was okay, but something was keeping her from freeing BeastBoy from the fridge.

"Azerath Metrion Zinthoss!" she yelled, firing a blast of dark energy in the fridge

Whatever had hold of BeastBoy screeched in pain and let go, causing the two to stumble back and away from the fridge. The sudden release surprised both Raven and BeastBoy, causing them to topple over one another until they were tangled in a web or kicking legs and flailing arms.

"BeastBoy, two things…" Raven began, kicking him off of her, forcefully "If this is a joke I'm throwing you out the window, if not, are you okay?" she asked

"Raven, one, this ain't a joke, and two, yeah, I'm fine." He replied, rubbing his head, "No thanks to you." he muttered

"What is in there?" she asked, ignoring his comment

"Don't know, but its mean and angry."

"At you I'm guessing."

"I guess so. You know, maybe we should get the Lysol." He said

"No…you shall fall to my might." They heard a voice say

Looking toward the fridge they spied something slowly creeping out of it, something black.

"Wait a sec, I know that voice." BeastBoy mused, trying to remember whose voice that belonged to

"You should know my arch-enemy, for I am the same being that you shamefully defeated and then tried to feed to you're robotic ally." It said

"Nah…it couldn't be." BeastBoy thought, a picture forming in his head

"What is it?" Raven asked

"Well…no…but it might…couldn't be…maybe…no way…"

"In English."

"Well remember the whole Newfu thing?" he asked Raven

"Yeah, the demented piece of tofu from space that tried to destroy the planet." She replied

"Yeah, and remember after I heroically defeated it and put it in the fridge?" he asked

"Yeah, Cyborg 'finished' it off, so to speak." Raven replied, "What's your point?"

"Well I think whatever is in there might just be, it's a long shot but, that just might be…Bob, my old boss." He replied

"What!" the strange creature roared, "It is I; Newfu, your most hated enemy!" it bellowed

"Well technically you're Bob too 'cause you made him and everything." BeastBoy commented, "Guess you're two people or something, maybe..."

"No! I am Newfu, Newfu, NEWFU!" it screamed, trying to prove itself toward BeastBoy

"Oh…" murmured BeastBoy, "What happened to you?" BeastBoy asked

"Am I the only one who thinks this is stupid?" Raven asked

Newfu ignored her as it began its tale.

"After my initial defeat by you due to the barbecue sauce, a genius tactic I am willing to admit."

"Genius?" questioned Raven, "This is BeastBoy we're talking about. Genius and BeastBoy don't always coincide."

"Shush Raven, I'm trying to hear this." BeastBoy told her

"Anyway, right before your ally devoured me I ripped a piece of myself off and threw it back into that containment unit of yours."

"The fridge?" Raven asked

The strange creature nodded its…head, or whatever it had as a head.

"Yes." It replied, "Though severely weaken, that piece of myself still had the knowledge and power to survive in that cold den and over time I grew in power, combining myself with the other strange creatures that were locked in your prison as well." It said

"We really need to clean that out." Raven commented

"However, gaining knew powers came with a price and I needed to rest in order to fully awaken those powers." It said

"Cool." BeastBoy muttered

WHAP!

"Oww!" squealed BeastBoy in pain, Raven's hand having connected gracefully with the back of his head

"However you have awakened me prematurely, though I am still more powerful than I ever was as Newfu, I am now Neofu!" it cried gloriously

"But that's the same word, just a different version of it?" Raven said, "And why are we listening to you're back story anyway, you're evil and tried to destroy the earth! And why on Azar haven't we cleaned out that stupid fridge? Too many things pop out of that thing and it's starting to get on my nerves! And another thing…"

While Raven ranted endlessly BeastBoy glared at 'Neofu', trying to determine what he would do next.

"No way am I eating that…don't know what it would do to me?" He thought, "Maybe I can put it in the garbage disposal? But I don't know if the old girl could handle that?" he wondered, "I think I'll just torch it?" He decided, "Now all I need is Cyborg's blow torch and alittle gasoline..."

"Enough of this!" it roared, increasing in size, "I, Neofu shall cleanse this planet of all life, leaving only this planets soybeans to remain! From there I shall create an army of Neofu soldiers and begin my conquest of this galaxy, then, the universe!" it cried out maniacally

"Why would you tell us that, now we know what you're planning?" Raven asked, "What kind of evil plan is that? And one other...

"Yeah, and now we're gonna stop you." BeastBoy said, interrupting her "Let's call the others." He said, pulling out his communicator

However, before he could, Neofu let out a piercing yell that caused his communicator to fizzle violently before blowing out all together. Raven experienced a similar phenomenon in her belt, where her own communicator went dead.

"Ha, ha!" Neofu cried out, "Now you cannot call you're allies, especially that robotic one." It told them, ever increasing in size

At the moment it was the size of an Indian Elephant and resembled a slug, though with a lot of arms and legs.

"Now I will devour you and reign unopposed as I begin my conquest of this planet!" it said, laughing, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…"

WHAM!

Having been fed up with this thing both BeastBoy and Raven decided now was the best time to shut it up, crashing their fists into its head, causing it to reel back in pain.

"Dude that was seriously getting annoying." BeastBoy said, cracking his knuckles

"Yeah, I know." Replied Raven, "Let's put an end to this before it starts." She suggested

"Right behind you." Replied BeastBoy

"If you think I will allow you to defeat me you are wrong!" Neofu yelled, "I am all-powerful and I…" he began before a row of teeth shut him up

Towering above him was the T-Rex form of BeastBoy, snarling and baring his teeth at the Neofu menace before him. However the glare he was receiving from Raven scared him more so than even BeastBoy, she seemed to see right through the overgrown food product.

"Y-y-you d-d-don't scare m-m-me!" he stuttered, trying his best to glare back at the two Titans, "I am Neofu!" he roared before…taking off

Neofu bolted toward the sliding doors, not bothering to wait for them to open, crashing into them and tearing them down as he made a run for it. After a few moments of running, or crawling, or however he moved he saw that the Titans weren't following him and he smiled, content that he got away.

"Ha, ha…I was too fast for them." He said, turning a cornering only to stop in his tracks, Raven standing right in front of him

"Too fast for whom?" she asked

Neofu tried to turn around but was greeted by T-Rex BeastBoy who roared violently at the crazed alien.

"No where to go." Raven said coldly, building power in her hands

BeastBoy continued to growl as he closed in, Neofu nearly wetted himself out of fear until he noticed what room he was near. Wasting no time he tore the door down and scrambled inside.

"Starfire's not gonna like this." Raven muttered

Screeeeeeeeeee!

They heard a piercing screech and then saw Silky flee Starfire's room, evidently scared because of the strange looking slug-like creature that came barging in while it tried to take a nap.

"Starfire's really not gonna like this." Raven commented

"What's he doing in there?" BeastBoy asked after morphing back to normal

"Sounds like he's looking for something." Raven replied, "But what could he possible…oh no!" she gasped, realizing what Neofu wanted in Starfire's room

"What, what?!" BeastBoy asked nervously, wondering why Raven was going more pale than usual

"He was reborn from all the mold and slime in the fridge, right?" Raven asked

BeastBoy nodded his head.

"Most of that came from the alien food that Starfire has, right?" she asked

BeastBoy nodded his head.

"So it's safe to say that the more of it he absorbs the bigger he'll get, right?" she asked

BeastBoy nodded his head.

"And where is all that mold and slime located in the tower?" she asked

BeastBoy nodded his head…then realized he was asked a different type of question and shrugged his shoulders.

"Uh…Star's room?" he asked

"Bingo."

"Crap." BeastBoy muttered

"Crap indeed." She retorted, looking inside to see Neofu eating some strange alien ingredients in Starfire's cupboards

"I…am…UNSTOPPABLE!" it bellowed, increasing to at least three times its current size

Starfire's room couldn't take the strain and the nearby wall caved in, causing Neofu to fall to the ground below with a sickening splat.

Splat!

However this fall didn't hurt the strange slug in the least. It quickly reformed, growing more arms and legs and pushed itself along at a surprisingly fast pace for its size, off the island and toward the city.

"This won't end well." BeastBoy said

"Ya think, come on, we have to stop that thing." Raven said, taking off

BeastBoy quickly followed after her, taking the form of a falcon and speeding off toward the Neofu. Strangely it didn't take long for Neofu to make it across the bay and to the city, where he immediately caused mass panic and sent the denizens of the city fleeing in frenzy like cockroaches, little fashionly challenged cockroaches.

"Yes, flee humans for you're doom has come in the form of Neofu! Bha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…"

BOOM!

A flying car interrupted his maniacal laughter. Turning around he looked for the thrower of the car and spied Raven and BeastBoy flying toward him.

"Ugh…" he sighed, "You two again. You are quite persistent, but it's futile, nobody can stop Neofu!" he roared before another car collided with him

"Well that shut him up." Raven commented, landing nearby, "Sure likes to talk highly of him self."

BeastBoy landed nearby and stared up at the monstrosity that was Neofu.

"This might be a lot tougher than I thought." BeastBoy said

"What's so tough about it, it's a giant deformed piece of tofu?" she asked

"That just it; think about. I love tofu but now I'm fighting it. It's like some sort of a freaky paradox or something."

WHAP!

"Focus BeastBoy." She ordered and BeastBoy nodded his pained head

"Grrrr…" growled Neofu, "I'll eat you like you would try to eat me!" he yelled, lunging at them, mouth wide open

Raven and BeastBoy easily dodged the attack, jumping to the side to avoid it, but Neofu swung one of his many long arms at them, catching them off guard. Raven managed to block it but BeastBoy took the entire hit, sending him cascading a block down to crash into the street.

"Perfect." Raven muttered as she watched her teammate sail away before turning her attention back to Neofu

"Good, now with you're mate out of the way I can finish you, ha, ha, ha, ha."

Raven's eye twitched slightly at the 'mate' comment, but she forced herself to keep her composure, gathering power in her hands to attack Neofu.

"Azerath Metrion…" she chanted

"Not this time!" yelled Neofu, lunging at her yet again, mouth wide open

"Zinthoss!" she yelled, unleashing a devastating blast of dark energy

The blast shot forth, directly at Neofu, who didn't have time to evade and actually swallowed the blast, feeling it rush down its throat violently.

"Err…. (gurgle)…ugh…" he moaned, feeling his insides expand

"This is going to be messy." Raven thought, shielding herself for the oncoming explosion

However no explosion came. Neofu's body merely expanded for a few moments before an abrupt bodily release returned him to normal.

Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!

Which was then followed by yet another bodily release, from the opposite end

"Huh? Eww?!" wondered Raven bewildered and disgusted

"That was…good!" cried Neofu, patting his belly, "You're powers taste so good." He said, glaring at her menacingly, "I want more!" he said, grinning viciously

"I don't like where this is heading." She said, taking flight

"No you don't!" he yelled, reaching out for her

Raven performed miraculously acrobatics through the air, narrowly avoiding being grabbed by the creature. Seeing as she was too agile for him Neofu opted for a different approach.

Haaaaaaaawwwwwwwwk! Patoohy!

A large loogie flew from Neofu's mouth and Raven couldn't help but gag at the sight, turning away as it went splat on the ground and jiggled, a lot. What made it worst though is that the loogie began to take a form, a familiar form and continued to jiggle, a lot.

"Ugh…what hit me?" muttered BeastBoy, recovering from the blow, "Huh? What the?" he wondered as he saw the loogie take shape, "No way." He said, morphing into a cheetah and running over to Raven

By the time Raven noticed his presence BeastBoy was already beside her and had morphed back into his human form, a quizzical look on his face.

"Glad you could join us." Raven quipped

"Hey Danny, long time no see." Said the loogie after finishing its transformation

"Dude…it's BeastBoy!" he yelled at the strange incarnation of his old boss, Bob

"That's good Bobby." Bob replied, butterfly wings growing on his back

"BeastBoy!"

"Billy."

"BeastBoy!"

"Ricky."

"BeastBoy!"

"Sally."

"That's a girl's name!" he bellowed, ready to rip Bob to pieces

"Calm down, he's trying to get you angry so you won't think." She told BeastBoy, "More than usual anyway." She added

After a grunt and a snort BeastBoy calmed himself and settled with just glaring at Bob.

"Bob, grab the girl, I shall handle my greatest nemesis."

"Gotcha oh supreme one!" Bob replied happily running toward Raven with a stupid look on his face

Raven wasn't about to be a sitting duck and retaliated with a blast of dark energy but Bob sidestepped the attack and threw his arm at her, which stretched out, grabbing her by the throat.

"Gak!" she cried out, the hand wrapping around her windpipe

"Raven!" cried BeastBoy, morphing into a wolf to try and bite the arm off but Bob retracted it, pulling it and Raven away

When she was close he wrapped his arms around her like a squid, effectively pinning her against himself while he kept his hand latched around her neck.

"Got her oh supreme one." Bob replied cheerfully, even against Raven's struggles

"Good…hold her until I'm done, I'm gonna need a nice snack after this." Neofu said

"Dude, you're gonna eat Raven?! Sick!" BeastBoy yelled, "I'm not gonna let you!" he yelled at Neofu, "Besides, do you know what she could do to your digestive track?"

"Not…funny…BeastBoy…" he heard Raven gasp

"Ah…trying to protect your mate. However you will not succeed!" Neofu taunted

"Dude Raven's not my…"

"Die!" Neofu yelled, lunging at BeastBoy

BeastBoy hopped up in the air, narrowly avoiding Newfu and then transformed into a Blue Whale and let gravity do the rest.

WHAM!

Instantly morphing into a chipmunk he hopped off Neofu and raced toward Raven and Bob, morphing back into himself.

"Let go of her!" he yelled

"Sorry Donny can't do that, the supreme one wants to eat her." Bob said, taking flight

"It's BeastBoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" yelled BeastBoy before morphing into pterodactyl

All the while Raven tried her best to break free of Bob's grip, but for some reason he could absorb her powers, thus rendering her attempts futile.

"Sometimes it just not worth getting up in the morning." She said, looking back to notice BeastBoy catching up

"Help." She asked, though it sounded as if she had grown bored of being the damsel in distress

POW!

BeastBoy connected with his large wing, knocking Bob for a loop and causing him to loosen his grip on Raven who didn't let this opportunity pass up and quickly pulled herself from Bob's clutches, but not before delivering a devastating roundhouse that send the store mananger plummeting to the ground below. The two quickly headed back toward the ground, lining up so that Raven had her eyes set on the recovering Neofu and BeastBoy on Bob.

"Thanks." She said after taking position beside BeastBoy

A smile from the pterodactyl acknowledge her before it turned sour as BeastBoy glared at Bob who has just finished recovering from his blow.

"Not bad Robby, but the supreme one wants to eat her and I don't want to disappoint the supreme one." Bob said, as his body began to take a different form

Bob grew from three times his original size, new muscles rippling as his size increased. The strange wings of his back increased in size as well, resembling that of a bird/bat hybrid. His 'clothes' increased with the size of his body as well, until they lined his body along with his new muscles. A single vein bulged on his head, the only thing that altered the same stupid expression he always wore on his face.

"Dude…" muttered BeastBoy in his human form, staring at the abomination before him

"Time to destroy you now Steven." Bob replied, throwing his huge fist at the duo

Raven and BeastBoy avoided the blow, dodging to the side before impact. Immediately after regaining his footing BeastBoy morphed into a Woolly Mammoth and charged Bob with full intent on running him down. Bob stood his ground and threw his large hands out, taking BeastBoy's tusks in his hand when he was close. BeastBoy completely stopped, struggling against Bob's awesome might, who, like BeastBoy seemed to be struggling as well, though only his body movements betrayed this.

"I can't attack these things directly." Raven thought, trying to access the situation, "My powers will only make them stronger. Got to find some other way to handle these abominations." She thought, looking around for a weapon that would cause more damage than merely flinging cars at them, "Ah ha!" she thought happily after noticing a parked bus

"Whew...I need to work out more." Neofu thought after finally catching up with Bob and the Titans, "When I take over this planet I need to make sure I am carried anywhere I need to go." He breathed

The large piece of bad space tofu seemed to be exhausted, breathing heavily and wiping what resembled sweat from his 'brow'.

"However, that human will be worth it when I devour her and take her powers." It said, grinning with delight, before a bus collided with his head

"I'm not on the menu." Raven said, glaring at Neofu, retrieving the bus she had clobbered him with

"Get in my belly!" he yelled at her, pointing to her and then his stomach as if he were directing her to it

"Eat this." She said, heaving the bus at him again

Neofu was too slow to evade and took the attack head-on, getting crushed by the weight of the vehicle. However, Raven wasn't done with the blow-hard just yet…

Bang! Boom! Bam! Pow! WHAM!

The dark sorceress repeatedly smashed Neofu with the bus until the public transport couldn't take the oppressive beating it was taking and fell apart, leaving only metal and glass to litter the street below.

"Oh…my head…" muttered Neofu, rubbing his head, "Hey…where did dinner go?" he wondered, noticing that Raven was nowhere in sight

It was then that he felt the ground rumble violently and before long a large underground pipe erupted from the street below. It could be seen that at the mouth of the pipe Raven's powers were holding back a liquid. This liquid happened to be water, water that happened to be under extreme pressure.

"I heard from a little green bird that you're weakness is water." She said, glaring menacingly at Neofu

Neofu's eyes went wide afterwards and he visibly began to shake as he slowly tried slink away. Then, with a flick of her hand, the energy around the pipe dissipated, and with nothing to hold back the water within the pipe the water shot out, drenching Neofu completely.

"…gurgle…gurgle…gurgle…I'm melting, I'm melting, I'm melting…oh what a world!" he cried out in anguish as the water began to defeat him

His cries slowly died down until he was nothing more than an enormous black puddle on the street, oozing disgustingly in all directions.

"Finally, it's over." Murmured Raven, floating down as that she stood next to the mess that use to be Neofu, "Disgusting." She muttered, shaking her head in disdain

With a sigh she turned around, thankful that she could get back to the tower, not noticing the strange puddle was stirring behind her.

"I'M NOT DONE YET!" it roared, lunging at Raven in its misshapen form due to the water

Raven turned but was too late, Neofu was already on top of her, mouth already open ready to devour her and she didn't have to time to summon her powers quickly enough to defend. She watched in horror as he closed the small distance between them, his sickening black jaws drooling at the prospect of devouring her whole, until…

WHAM!

Bob crashed into Neofu at a high velocity, knocking the deformed creature over and stopping his advance on Raven. Confused, Raven turned in the direction Bob came from and saw BeastBoy calmly walking up to her, a large grin on his face per usual.

"Thanks." She said

"No prob." BeastBoy replied, "I am the best." He said

Raven rolled her eyes but could help but smile slightly.

"So, you okay?" BeastBoy asked

"Yeah, but don't get too cocky, this fight isn't over yet." She said, turning back to Neofu

"Oh...is it?" BeastBoy asked deviously

Raven raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" she asked

"Let's just say Neofu isn't gonna like what I did to Bob." BeastBoy replied

"What did you do?" she asked

"You'll see."

Raven didn't like the way he said 'You'll see' and decided it would be safer to back a few feet away from Neofu, who was having a hard time moving due to his previous ordeal.

"Sorry oh supreme one…my bad." Replied Bob

"Pathetic worker drone." Muttered Neofu, "Back from whence you came." He said, as he began to reabsorb Bob back into his body

"Guess my work here is done." Bob said as he sank into Neofu, "See you around Samanthaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…" he said before completely being reabsorbed

BeastBoy sighed, why couldn't he ever get his name right?

"I…I…I am Neofu." Neofu began, ever so slowly trudging over to the two Titans, "I send fear through all those that oppose me…" he said, towering over the two, "I have never been beaten. I am invincible, I am all powerful, I…AM…NEOFU!" he proclaimed proudly to all those who could hear

"And now, you're done." Replied BeastBoy, smirking

"Why you…die…" he said before something inside him began to stir, "What…what is happening?" he said, holding his sides as if in pain

"Yes, finally." BeastBoy said

"What…what did you do to me?!" Neofu demanded

"Well…me and Bob…" he began

"Bob and I." Raven corrected

"Bob and I…" repeated BeastBoy, glaring slightly at Raven, "…well we fought near my favorite store, Tofu Mart."

"Tofu Mart?" Raven questioned, "Are you making this up?"

"No." he said, "Tofu Mart. Meeting all your to-ofu needs." He said, singing a little jingle

"Yeah…" Raven muttered

"Anyway I remember that one time I mixed this stuff I got there with my normal tofu and when that happened well it...it exploded!" he said, reminiscing about the event

"You mean when you covered the common room with tofu and since I was in the general area I was forced to clean it up with you?" Raven asked

"Yeah, good times, good times."

"Thanks for the flashback." She said sarcastically

"Well you're welcome." He retorted

"Stop…IGNORING ME!" bellowed Neofu, charging again, only to stop yet again as he noticed he was increasing in size, however this time it was an abnormal growth

"We might want to take cover." BeastBoy said, "This could get messy." He said, running away

"Right behind you." Raven said, following him

"Noooo! This can not be!" cried Neofu, growing to a size his body could no longer take "I am Neofu the all powerful!" he yelled, feeling himself lose control NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he bellowed before he exploded, sending a thunderous boom across the city

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The explosion launched black slime in a localized area, however it got everywhere, completely covering anything that was unlucky enough to be caught in its path. Luckily Raven and BeastBoy had taken cover behind a large truck, thus avoiding having to take a shower. When the last of the slime settled the two Titans revealed themselves and looked on at the sight before them.

"Well…I hope it's over now?" Raven hoped

"Dude, he ain't coming back from that." BeastBoy replied

"Whatever." She said

"Let's get going before we gotta clean this up." BeastBoy suggested

"And just leave it…the city isn't exactly going to praise us for a job only half done…besides this is basically you're fault." She said

"Hey! How was I suppose to know that Newfu wasn't gone?!" he defended, "This coulda happened to anyone!"

"You're not anyone." She said, "You're BeastBoy."

BeastBoy glared at her menacingly not sure whether to take that as a compliment or not, but Raven yawned, unimpressed.

"Fine, I know just the way to clean this all up." He said, his glare never leaving her

"And how is that?" she asked

"You'll see. Come along side-kick." He said, taking off

"BeastBoy!" she yelled, following after him

Later that Evening

"Man, am I ever glad to be back." Cyborg said, trudging to the common room

"Yes, I am mirthful as well to be returning to our dwelling." Starfire replied

"Rob man, we didn't have to be out all day, I missed my soaps." Cyborg said, "Rebecca's evil twin was just about to try and take Samantha's husband who is actually Donna's brother." he said

"Sorry, I thought that guy was…"

"Slade, yeah, yeah, we know…but it was just some guy in a bad cosplay costume who was at the carnival." Cyborg said, "Had us run around all day working, at a carnival no less." Cyborg muttered, "Thanks man."

"Sorry…I'll make it up to you, I swear." Robin replied, just as the common room doors opened

"It'll take a lot of 'making up' before I forget this." Cyborg told him before scoping out the scene before him

Raven was quietly reading a book in one of the armchairs while BeastBoy was calmly watching television. All-and-all it was a fairly normal scene…too normal.

"Alright, what ya'll do?" Cyborg asked

"Dude, what you talking about?' BeastBoy asked

"Don't give me that, I know ya'll did something ya shouldn't." Cyborg replied

"I don't know what you're talking about." Replied Raven

"Look, don't play dumb. You two never sit around quietly. Ya'll is always yelling at each other or destroying something, usually of mine." Cyborg replied, "So come on, fess up."

"Really, I don't have a clue what you mean dude."

"I agree with BeastBoy, as hard as that it is to believe."

Cyborg glared at them with his human eye while his robotic eye checked their heart rates to see if they were lying. They weren't, by the scanner's standards. But BeastBoy could control his heart rate at will and Raven could block Cyborg's scans easily so Cyborg wasn't completely convinced.

"Okay then…" he said, trailing off

At that moment he decided to make a full scan of the tower, to see if anything was out of order. After a few seconds everything seemed okay, but BeastBoy and Raven were crafty.

"Hmm…" he murmured

"BeastBoy…where is Silky?" Starfire asked, "He usually rushes to my arms when I return." She said

That's when Cyborg saw it. It only happened for a split second but Cyborg caught it. BeastBoy jerked his arm slight at the sound of Silky's name while Raven stopped mid page turn.

"Hmm…" he murmured again

"He's in my room." BeastBoy replied, though his voice wavered slightly

"Okay. I shall go fetch him."

"I'll come with you." Replied Robin

BeastBoy aimed to stand up, to try and stop them, but a glare from Raven stopped him.

"I'm going to the bookstore." Raven said getting up

"I'm heading out too. Gonna play the new Mega Monkeys game at the arcade." BeastBoy said

"So soon?" Cyborg questioned, eyeing them warily

"Yeah, took so long for ya'll to get back, been aching to get out." BeastBoy replied

Raven simply gave Cyborg a look that told him everything he needed to know.

"Okay then." Cyborg said as he watched them walk out, "Guess they really didn't do anything. Guess I need to put a little more trust in Rae and B." he thought, until…

"MY LITTLE BUMGORF, YOU'RE NOT LITTLE ANYMORE AND YOU HAVE SPOTS!" he heard Starfire yell, "OH MY, I HAVE A WHOLE IN MY ROOM AND MY EXOTIC CUISINE IS ALL MISSING!"

"DON'T EAT MY CAPE!" yelled Robin, "I JUST GOT IT DRY-CLEANED!"

"I KNEW IT!" yelled Cyborg, "RAE, BB!" he bellowed

Meanwhile BeastBoy and Raven were already outside when all the yelling started.

"They'll cool off eventually, right?" asked BeastBoy

"Not my idea to use Silky as a garbage disposal." Raven quipped

"Yeah, too smart for ya." Quipped BeastBoy, laughing

"Hmmph!" snorted Raven, her powers inadvertently lit up his behind

"Yeeouch!"

"Ha, ha." chuckled Raven, taking flight

"Very funny Raven, very funny." BeastBoy muttered, taking off after her

--

Please don't sue me. I thought the story was sorta funny in a weird way, and besides, what would you have done in their situation, huh?