Author: Susan

Author notes: my first X-File fiction

Warning: none, unless you count the slashy undertone.

Spoiler: none.

Archive permissions: anywhere, just tell me.

Beta: I need to get me one of those.


"What. Mulder?"

"Why did you sneak in through the window?"

"So I could come in steal files from your house, get caught by you. Then you'd get so angry because you hate me. I'd get punched and kicked, pushed on the ground. Then as I lay there helplessly, you'd realize how hot I am and try to have really really good sex with me. You know one of those weird the thing the writers think up"

"No, I mean why do you not just go through the door. I left the key under the welcome mat. You are costing me a lot in window repair bills. These windows aren't cheap, you know."

"Who ever heard of an assassin/double agent/rat that enters through the door? But you could leave the window open. Then I'd have more time to shake my tight ass, bat my long, beautiful lashes and my sea green eyes at you."

"I don't think it does anything for me. You just look like you've got sand in your eyes."

"But you think I am sexy! You can't stop wanting to fuck me, and because you hate me so much, that is why you punch me, to express you need to fuck me."

"No, I don't think I hate you, either. I got no particular feeling towards."

"What do you mean you don't hate me? I killed your father, killed Scully's sister, kidnapped Scully and did all those other horrible things. How could you not hate me? The author says you have to hate me."

"Nope, no hate here, never liked dad and Scully can be a bitch, sometimes.

"So, you don't hate me?"


"But you don't want to fuck me either?"

"No, don't think so."

"So the whole 'beat Krycek up, fuck him, and comfort him' thing is not going to work?"

"I am sorry."

"Oh well, I should go now. Could you do me a favor?"


"Just leave the window open? It would save both of us a lot of effort."

"Yeah, sure. See you when the authors get bitten by plot bunnies again."

"See you."