Disclaimer: Do you really think I own this? Your more stupid than I thought.

A/N: I did not write all of this. My friend Amy (Her username is too long to write, but if I get round to it, check out her story 'Harry and the return of Voldemort'!), and me wrote this together. I did George's parts, and she did Fred's. We are both responsible. Enjoy! (And review!)

A Guide To Life By Fred and George Weasley


Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Things Fred and George Weasley are no longer allowed to do at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

(According to Professor Mcgonagall)

Blow up toilets.

Send anyone in Hogwarts the toilet seat from the toilets we blew up. That was funny! Madame Pomfrey didn't think so. It's not our fault she had a hissy fit!

Not allowed within 20 feet of Filch's cat. That thing's evil! Funny when you kick it though.

Not allowed to borrow Harry's invisibility cloak for any reason whatsoever.

(Continued from number 4) Especially not to annoy Snape. He really didn't like his pink hair did he? But it was so him!

Not allowed to draw a moustache and beard on the Slytherin snake.

(Next day) Not allowed to draw anything else on the Slytherin snake. But that top hat looked good! Don't think Snape agreed.

Not allowed to scare first years by setting off millions of Dr Filibuster's No Heat Wet Start Fireworks right next to them. You should've seen their faces!

Not allowed to charm Snape's socks to make him sing 'Merry Christmas' at the top of his voice whenever he sees a Weasley or Harry.

Not allowed to charm Hogwarts suits of armour to follow Slytherin's around, and kick them 'Where the sun don't shine', when they insult Gryfindor.

Not allowed to bribe Peeves to throw thing s at the Slytherins.

(Next day) Must not bribe Peeves to frighten first years/teachers as they come around corners.

(Day after that) Not allowed to bribe Peeves at all.

(Day after that) Not allowed within fifty feet of Peeves. Ever.

Not allowed to hold inter-house food fights in the middle of the Halloween feast. We only did that once! And she's still holding it against us. Could be because she got hit with that pie. Oh yeah, that explains it. Funny though.

Not allowed to send Hogwarts house-elves to remove all clothes from the Slytherin dormitories.

Not allowed to sell the first years to older students/teachers. How were we supposed to know they didn't like being slaves? Because they told us? Oh yeah.

Not allowed to parade around school with an army of charmed suits of armour

Not allowed to enchant things to poke the Slytherins.

Not allowed to dive into the lake and pretend to be drowning. It took me a week to get all the water out my ears! Annoyed Mcgonagall though!