Am I bothered?

"I don't think you understand the enormity of what has happened to you." Giles looked at the young schoolgirl sitting in front of him, "This is a sacred duty…"

"Are you gay, sir?" Lauren asked.

"I fail to see how that has anything to do with…"

"But are you gay, sir?"

"Lauren!"

"Are you in the closet, sir?"

"No!"

"Are you sure, sir?"

"Yes!"

"So you are gay, sir?"

"What?" Giles blinked, "No!"

"So you are in the closet then, sir?"

"I'm not gay!"

"Are you homophobic, sir?"

"What?"

"Do you hate gay people, sir?"

"No!"

"So you love gay people than, sir?"

"Lauren…"

"Do you love them long time?"

"Lauren!" Giles slammed his fist down on his desk, "I will not tolerate this sort of behaviour!"

"Am I bothered?"

"Look…"

"Am I bothered?"

"Lauren…"

"Am I bothered thou?"

"For…"

"Do I look bothered?"

"Just…"

"Look at my face."

"Please…"

"Look at my face."

"Lauren…"

"Does my face look bothered?"

"Look…"

"But do I look bothered thou?"

"One more outburst like that and I'll feed you to the vampires myself!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Am I bothered?"

The End

Those of you who haven't seen the Catherine Tate Show will have no idea what that was all about, and you have my pity.