Why Don't Seraphim Have Halos?


Summary: Seraphim: n. coll. Ser'a'phim: (1) A group of angels endowed with holy powers and given the duty of protecting those in need. But if Seraphim are angels, what happened to their halos?

Warnings: Spoilers on the mercenary's past, and the 'dog's true self.'

A/N: It's me. After around eight straight hours of trying to finish a book called "Falling Leaves" by Adeline Yen Mah, (a really good story I have to say, but it's so damn long in context, it's hard to read all at once) I attain a pounding headache whilst Chinese proverbs and Communism start to fill every corner of my mind. So what do I do to get away from it all? Write this drabble. Am I smart or what?

Oh, and I also understand Noishe isn't a parrot, but a hawk, but if a parrot can speak, why not other birds?


We are what we are; angels to many, dictators to few. To the general public still Seraphim do not fit the term to the fullest. Seraphim: n. coll. Ser'a'phim: (1) A group of angels endowed with power from the goddess and given the duty of protecting those in need. But what exactly is an 'angel'? Are you so if you merely have wings? That's what I thought, too.

However, this account I am about to tell is true down to its uttermost de-tail and straight from the protozoan's snout... or beak at the time. It was truly a moment that I'll never forget...

('De-tail'? What was I thinking? It seems Lloyd's ability to create non-humorous or inaccurate puns is starting to rub off on me...)


The event in case took place around three thousand, five hundred years ago. At that time, Derris Kharlan was a mere shell of its 'glory' today, though this should go without saying, it was a true marvel of its time. The magitechnology was not as brilliant and convenient as well; it worked.

At the time, I stood contently on my perch, settled in a corner of Lord Mitty's (Mithos') office. I felt like I was treated as equally as the Seraphim themselves, for in every room, for me and me only, sat a perch with my name on it. Continuing with my story, it was a one of there centurial meetings they held to discuss the political, economical, physical and sociological state of the two worlds as well as a bunch of other things I didn't much care for at the time. They went on and on...

...and on...

Finally, when it had seemed their conference was to come to a close, Yui (Yuan) stood and brought out a large, glowing ring. "Yggdrasil, it has also come to my attention that mortals perceive angels to have halos, one of these—" he waved the ring-thing, "—should we make any note of it...?"

"As in...?"

"Well, wear them? They're easy to mass produce and—" Yui shrugged.

Mitty(Mithos)eyed the ring skeptically. "Wear that thing? What, around our waists or something?"

"No, no, it—" Yui started to explain, but by that time Mitty had already grabbed the object and was attempting to squeeze his shoulders through it, unsuccessfully. "Like this?"

"I don't—"

"Uh-oh... I think I'm stuck..." he said worriedly. He found himself unable to get the halo on any further, nor any bit out of it. The halo managed to fit around one of his shoulders, but as he attempted to slip his other arm through, the halo refused to stretch, locking him in an awkward position. From my view, it seemed the arm he managed to get through was draped across his forehead while the other not-so-through one wrapped itself around his head, his fingers tapping on his chin.

"Mitty's got his head stuck, Mitty's got his head stuck!" I squawked, finding this whole situation hysterical.

"Noishe!" he roared, "Shut up!"

Personally, I loved picking on him. "Euurrraack-kaah, kah, kah!" I laughed as best as my hawk vocal chords would allow as I flew over and stationed myself on his head, just to taunt him. "Can't get mee!" I whistled.

This drove him off the edge. "I'm going to burn you to a crisp, protozoan!" He threatened meaninglessly as he ran around attempting to snatch me in mid air with his tangled arms. "Grrrah! Get back here!"

"Euurrraack-kaah, kah, kah!"

Yui grabbed Mitty by the back of his shirt, "Hang on, and hold still, I'll get this thing off!"

With forced cooperation between the half-elves, they managed to slide the halo back over his head, freeing his arms. All the meanwhile, Tos-tos (Kratos) stood indifferently in the corner. I don't blame him.

Luckily for me, Mitty focused his anger away from me and onto the halo glowing innocently on the floor. He stood up straightly, trying to regain his poise. "First things first, destroy this... thing!"

Yui nodded, as did Tos-tos. Together they unleashed a miniature inferno unto the radiant band. When the fires ceased, the halo lay unharmed. A bit taken aback, Yui cast some sort of light attack, I couldn't tell what, while Tos-tos attacked it with lightning. Still, not a scratch marked the halo.

"Why—won't—this—thing—die!" The infuriated Mitty punctuated with stomps to the halo, doing more damage to his foot than to the halo.

Yui crossed his arms, "Well, everything is susceptible to something."

"But what!"

"Hmph." Tos-tos strode to the halo, and picked it up with examining eyes.

At his next motion, I began to question his sanity.

After inspecting it for a few seconds, he wiped the halo against his uniform and took a good chunk out of it with his teeth. I stood flabbergasted on my perch, and if I had had a better angle, I could've sworn I say the other Seraphim's mouths fall to the ground.

Tos-tos shrugged and left the room as he continued to snack on the halo.

There was a long pause of dumbstruck silence, before Yui found his voice. "...Well... this is certainly something to... exclude from the history books?"

Mitty unable to say anymore, simply nodded. "Yeah... yeah."