Got the idea for this fanfic from the "Voodeedoo" Foamy Flash movie. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Naruto not mine, lawyers rack off.
The Shinobi's Guide to Voodoo
Inuzuka Kiba was giving Akamaru a bath when he was suddenly bowled over by a very excited (not like that you hentai! If you're good maybe later..) Uzumaki Naruto.
"What the hell! Naruto!" Kiba screamed appropriately (I defy you to tell me that screaming "what the hell" is inappropriate when you've been knocked over for seemingly no reason.).
"Kiba Kiba Kiba! Look what I got!" Naruto was chortling evilly and waving a box around like a magician on crack.
"What could possibly be so great that you had to knock me down for it?" the dog-user growled and suddenly found himself with an eyeful of box. "What the hell is this?" he grabbed it from the blonde. The label read: "Home Voodoo Kit: For all your revenge needs." He gave Naruto a quizzical look. "You actually paid for this?"
"I didn't steal it if that's what you mean."
"I didn't say anything like that it's just… never mind. Who the hell were you going to use it on anyway?"
"Sasuke." Was the automatic response. "But first I want to test it out and see if it really works so I was wondering if you wanted to help me."
Kiba thought about it. On the one hand, Naruto was asking for his help in messing with Sasuke. While he agreed that the Uchiha could stand to be taken down a peg or two (hundred) if Sasuke ever found out that he was involved he would be screwed (and not in the fun way). On the other hand, if he didn't help Naruto the boy might get it into his head to make him the guinea pig and there was no way in hell he was going to put up with that.
"All right, I'll help. Let me dry Akamaru off and then we can think up a suitable test subject."
Kakashi was unusually bored today. His team hadn't been getting any missions lately and Tsunade had decided to confiscate all of his Icha Icha Paradise books (Oh the humanity!) So now he was sitting on a bench near the barbecue restaurant thinking up ways to get revenge on the Godaime. He was suddenly brought out of his rumination by the most amusing thing he'd seen in years.
Standing on the wall, clad only in a pair of bright yellow boxer shorts was Asuma's prize student, Shikamaru. Several people had stopped what they were doing to gawk at the sight. As if this wasn't funny enough, he inexplicably began reciting perverted poetry at the top of his lungs.
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky. Silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Franky." Shikamaru stated causingeven morepeople to stop what they were doing and stare even more. "Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides, and everywhere that Mary went the boys could see her thighs. Mary had another skirt; twas split right up the front. And everywhere that Mary went the boys could see her…" It was then that Iruka, nose bleeding heavily, leapt out of nowhere and clocked him. The young chounin was immediately rendered unconscious much to Kakashi's disappointment.
"Damn, I was hoping to see what that woman over there was going to do to him." He sighed, shrugged, and went back to plotting his revenge.
On a nearby rooftop, Naruto and Kiba were cracking up.
"Great Yondaime…it works!" Kiba laughed, Akamaru making little yipping noises as he shared his master's mirth. "It actually works!" Naruto, tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard, nodded.
"It's like Ino's family jutsu without having to leave your own body!"
"What are you two doing?" someone half asked, half demanded.
There were only two people Naruto and Kiba knew who sounded like that and Naruto knew for a fact that Sasuke was in Practice Area Six right now. Slowly, both boys turned around.
"Well?" Neji inquired again. The two boys and one dog shared a look before Naruto gave his trademark foxy grin.
"Well…" he began to explain.
To be continued? Do you really want me to? Then you must beg, beg like you've never begged before! And when you're tired from all the begging, get some rest…THEN COME BACK AND BEG AGAIN! MWUAHAHAHAAAAAAA!