Title: In the End

Author: Jade Hunter

A.N: This is my first Dark Angel fic, so please be nice. I missed out on a lot of the key episodes, so please, don't flame me for getting some info wrong.

Disclaimer: Regretfully, Dark Angel and all it's wonderful and not-so-wonderful charactors are not mine. I am making no money off of this, so please, don't sue.


There was something about him that got to me when I first met him. I don't know what it was, but it knocked me over flat on my ass long enough for him to take a good look at my secret, my barcode.

I tried to tell myself that he was just some guy, that I could use him and lose him like the rest if I wanted to. After all, like Original Cindy says, men are chumps.

As time went by, I had to admit, if only to myself, that Logan Cale was not your average guy. The something I noticed, I figured out what it was after the first few weeks.

It was his need to help people.

I mean, the way I figure, if I had parents who were loaded and left me all that dough, I'd kick up my feet and relax, riding the wave my folks made in this huge and lonely ocean called life.

But he didn't.

He doesn't. Instead, he tries and helps people. He's Eyes Only, "the only free voice left in the city." And he almost got his ass blown off on one of those gigs, trying to help a woman and her little girl. I can respect that. In fact, I do. That's why I helped get his KO'd ass outa that room.

And as much as I hate to say, he's become very important to me. In just this short time, he went from someone interesting, to someone I was interested in. It just didn't make sense, but I liked him. A lot. Enough to refuse to get outta town when Hannah warned me.

But I gotta get something off my chest.

When Zack first came, and told me that we were getting out of Seattle, I didn't care about Logan Cale enough to think about staying. In fact, I was all for leaving, as long as it was with one of mine, my family.

But then Zack made a comment about splitting up, and my hope just went 'splat'. I asked him to tell me where the others were; if he didn't want to be with me, maybe the others might. But he refused. So I refused. Logan didn't even come to mind until later that night, when I was riding out my frustrations on my bike.

And then it hit me.

If I liked Logan so much - and I did - why didn't I think about him till then?

If I liked Logan so much, as much as I thought, then why didn't he come to mind when Zack asked me to split?

After the whole fiasco with Brin, I got my answer.

In the end, I would do _anything_ for my brothers, my sisters. Even let them go back to a place I _knew_ was a personification of what those religious people call Hell.

And so, my questions were answered, and I was satisfied.

Until Zack called for help, and Logan tried to stop me.

My answer explained why I wanted to go, even with all the dangers, all the risks.

My answer explained why I was willing to push past Logan to get to Zack.

But it did not explain why I felt that white hot flash of indignation and rage when he blocked my way. Did not explain why my thoughts were along the line of, 'If miracle boy doesn't get outta my way, I'm gonna throw his scrawny ass right out that window!' Didn't explain why I felt like wrapping my fingers around his high-and-mighty neck and squeeze when he said Zack might've turned traitor.

And it would never explain why I felt so sure that Zack wouldn't have turned. With the torture techniques Manticore has, it was a possibility. Even back then, Lydecker drilled into us that if there was a possibility that a team member was turned, we should kill them without hesitation. And yet, here was an exact situation, and I was convinced that Zack was not a traitor. I implied that Logan didn't know Zack, not as well as I did, which was true, but I didn't know Zack as well as I hinted. This Zack, however much he was like his old self, was not. Nine years passed, it had to have changed him; not even Zack would live in this world without getting some scars. I didn't know him very well, not this him, and yet I believed that Zack would never turn traitor. I _knew_ that he wouldn't.

So I went.

And, after the first initial greeting that went not so well, he did something I can't remember him ever doing before.

He opened up.

To me.

I know I'm not the most sensitive gal in this messed up world, but I was touched that my big, tough CO, my unreachable big brother would actually open up to me, the smart-mouthed thang that I know I am. And when we asked me how I could possibly forget me, I was shocked. And a little pleased. Him and the others were the most important people in my life, and I was more than gratified to see that my feelings were mutual, well, at least in one person. And I felt something, like a fire, building up. It wasn't like when I'm in heat, no that fire builds in my stomach, and works it's way up and down my spine. This fire, it burned me from the inside, from where I knew my heart was. It was not unlike the tingle I got when I'm near Logan, but . . .well, Logan was a tingle, Zack was a full-blown fire.

It was because he was my brother, in everything but blood. I cared for him more than I could ever care for Logan, because even though he knew my origins, even though he knew my deepest secret, Logan Cale, Mr. Eyes Only, did not know what it was like back there. He did not know my darker secrets. And as long as I held those memories back from him, Logan Cale could never be closer to me than Zack, Brin, Tinga, Jondy, Zane, Syl, Krit, and the others are.


When we - Zack, Logan, and I - went for Tinga, Logan was the first to argue. The place was crawling with Maticore guards; probably Lydecker was already there. He sprouted off some crap about not liking this, and about how this was a danger to our safety. I didn't care, because I knew that clench in Zack's jaw, I knew that stance, and I knew that look in his eyes. He was going to save Tinga, or die trying, because it was his fault. I knew what he was thinking.

And if Zack, in his injured state, was going, I was going too. No way was I gonna let my CO up and go on a dangerous mission all on his own. Especially not when he was still healing.

When we rescued Tinga, I had never felt so happy. Three of us were together, and we were kicking ass together, like it shoulda been from the start. It was child's play to take out what armed forces were meant of one X-5 since we were three X-5s. And, when it was over, and Zack was looking for a ride to jack, I realized that with Logan, I could never have that feeling I had when we were fighting, that feeling of completeness. And I felt sad.

I considered leaving with them, Zack and Tinga, and my consideration only grew as Logan made that callous comment about all of us being thieves. What would he know? Rich boy who had everything handed to him could never know what it was like for us...gifted kids to suddenly step into a world where words such as friends, care, and love existed. He would never know the feeling of having to steal things because that's what you were good at and that was the easiest way to make cash, cause after the Pulse, there was a lot more people who forked over money for stuff, no questions asked.

I expected Zack to start on me getting out of Seattle again, since Lydecker was hotter on my trail than ever. And maybe this time, I'd agree to go with him, even if it meant splitting up. But he assumed that I was staying, that I was too much 'not with Logan' to go with him and Tinga.

And that stung.

So I didn't go.

But I felt regret as he and Tinga drove away, and even hanging with Logan didn't make me feel better, like it did the first time, like it did the second time. Not even Original Cindy got me outta that funk for at least four hours. Only a wild ride on my Ninja helped me calm down.

Helped me straighten a few things out.

I like Logan Cale, I really do, even though he irritates me like somethin' else mosta the time. He's considerate, he actually cares about the world, and he can cook like nothin' else. And you can all hear the 'but' coming here, right?


In the end, he's not what's at the very top of my list. He may be very close to fourteen, after the eleven others who got out, after Jace (she's still one of us, and her baby's got my name printed on it), after Original Cindy (cause she's my homegirl), and after Kendra (even with her Mr. Multiples).

In the end, the other X-5's are more important to me than anything.

In the end, I'd give up anything and everything, including Logan Cale, to turn back the clock and have Zack ask me to come with him and Tinga.

In the end, even amidst all the others, I think Zack and Jondy are the most important to me.

Jondy, she stayed up at night with me in Manticore, because for some reason, we couldn't sleep. And she left when I fell through the ice, something I'm really glad she did, cause she got out.

And Zack, cause I followed his orders as soon as I could understand the English language. Because he shoulders all the responsibility of all of us, and I know that it has to be tough. I think sometimes, even he forgets that he's still only twenty-one. Because he opened up to me. Because he's my reliable pillar of support even though I have no clue how he keeps track of me, my CO . . .my Zack.

In the end, as much as I like him, Logan Cale does not matter.

In the end, Zack does.


~~~~~Jade Hunter~~~~~