Wolverine moves to get the Cure, but Strom stops him with her arm. They look into each others eyes and smile – this is meant to be one of those 'love' theme things. Sorry folks. Anyway, long story short Storm goes to get the Cure, flying past falling debris, fireballs (as Pyro is throwing them at her) and bird nests (come on! There's bound to be a few on that bridge!). It is nearly in her grasp, when a fireball hits nearby and knocks it off into the Tay. Pyro laughs evilly.
'Ha ha! Now no one can cure us mutants. And we can take over!'
Moira alone sees this. 'Whit! Na! Ma life's wirk! That wis tae cuir ma laddie, allou him tae hae a kindly life. An it wis tae help wee Timmy at the infirmary tae git better; an aw the bairns dule frae genetic carfuffles an ither uggin degenerative diseases.' (SUBTITLES: What! No! My life's work! That was to cure my son, allow him to have a normal life. And it was to help little Timmy at the hospital to get better; and all the children suffering from genetic disorders and other horrible degenerative diseases!)
'Ah no! I really messed up this time.' Pyro admits sadly.
Evil mutant number 15 moves aside and agrees in a sad voice. 'We got so tied up in our own agendas we did not see the good that this could do.'
'I think it's best if no one has the Cure.' States Colossus. 'Then it can not fall into the wrong hands, and no one can be tempted to do evil with it. Loosing it was probably for the best.'
'Am A the ae that cares for the bairns? (SUBTITLES: Am I the only one who cares about the children?)'
'Sorry, Moira,' Beast touches her shoulder, 'but Colossus has a point. I think we should untie again in the spirit of friendship against a common evil.'
'Cutting the best characters from the sequels?' Gambit.
'Reciting Goethe where Fontane is more appropriate?'
'NO! We must unite against…'
'Interruptions!' Jubliee laughs.
'Sorry, couldn't resist.'
'We must unite against ignorance and jumping to conclusions. If we stand together we can…'
''Scuse me, ami, but I t'ink…' Gambit interrupts.
'Not now Gambit. I'm monologing. If we stand together we can face any opposition, but separated and scared the evil politicians can present us anything they want us to, dangerous, vicious…'
'I t'ink you'll want to hear this…'
'First, you interrupt my rhetorical questions! Then you interrupt my monologing, then you interrupt my tripartite list! It had better be good.'
As he says this a block of steel falls onto Moira's leg, trapping her again.
'Och na. Nae again.' (SUBTITLES: Oh no. Not again.)
'I was going to tell you the bridge is falling down and we're all going to die unless we do something quickly.' Gambit finishs as everyone watches the collapsing bridge. Beast lifts the steel off Moira and picks her up while Storm starts issuing orders.
'Everyone! Off the bridge now!'
Psylocke, who is now good, along with the rest of the evil mutants, for the moment anyway, shows how she has joined the good guys by stating the obvious. 'It's blocked on one side, and the base is collapsing on the other at one of the pillars. We're trapped.'
'We must stop it falling!' Rogue screams
'What do we do?' Nighcrawler asks.
Beast, carrying Moira, comes up. Along with an encyclopaedic knowledge of literature, genetics, and life in general, he also know civil engineering. 'We need to support the base of the bridge pillar. Prop it up somehow.'
'But we have nothing to prop it up with!' Wolverine growls.
'We need something square and robust.'
Gambit has a sudden idea and grabs Iceman's head. 'Will this do?'
'Perfect!' Beast smiles.
'Hey!' Iceman disagrees.
Angel picks Iceman up and uses Iceman's amazingly square head to prop up the Tay Bridge and give them enough time to escape as Iceman mutters to himself, cos no one else is listening.
'This is so humiliating.'
(They all run over the bridge to safety, and they all rejoice. Rogue runs to Gmabit and throws her arms round him.
'My hero!' she exclaims as she hugs him and kisses him, with the her hand over his mouth thing– comic book love is reunited, and following this spirit… Kitty and Colossus hug, soon followed by Angel and Psylocke hug. Storm and Wolverine move towards each other.
'It won't work between us, will it?' Storm asks.
'Not if the fans have a say it won't.' Wolverine agrees.
They do a 'friendship' hug, which contrasts greatly to Rogue and Gambit who seem to be impersonating Wolverine at ripping layers of clothes off.
'Rogue? Gambit? You do know you're in public.' Storm reminds them, they look up and smile.
'Let dem look and be jealous!'
We now have a montage of images of the X-Men dragging Professor X from the pub, to them stealing the Blackbird back ('Told you someone would steal it!' Kitty squeals at Angel, who tells her to shut up.) We see their arrival back in America, where Juggernaut and Sentinel have moved on from cards to Snap, leaving some big craters in the earth. We then see a funeral put on for Scott, the X-Mansion being renovated (with more mutant cameos), Moira resumes work in Muir Island, Beast resumes work on his method to destroy stuff, as well as advising the American Government on mutant relations based in his monologue. This is all interspersed with images of happy mutants, and happy non-mutants, as well as a troubled Jean Grey walking round. As we see these images a voiceover begins., by Angel (assisted by Professor X).
'Do I really have to say this?'
'Because it was in the last two films, so it's like a tradition now.'
'Like Wolverine getting his shirt off?'
'Then why do I have to say it?'
'Because it was your Dad who paid for the Cure, and it was the cure that caused all the trouble, and the studio want you to be one of the 'main characters,' so that means you do the voiceover!'
'Fine.' He clears his throat. 'Mutation. It is the key to our evolution. It has' … do I really have to say this?'
'It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet.' Won't that annoy the Creationists who don't believe in Darwin's theory of evolution?'
'Most likely. Now carry on. The audience's arses are beginning to get sore and half of them need the toilet.
'This process is slow and normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward.' There. Done! Can I go now?'
The montage finishes. But not before we see two children playing by the banks of the 'Hey, Malcolm! Come and see what I have found.'
'What is it, Elspeth?'
Elspeth lifts a syringe of blue goo from the silt, leaving the film open for another sequel. As they walk into the distance we hear a voice from the last pillar of the Tay Bridge, Iceman is till there as the last scene darkens
'Hello! Can someone help me please?'
(hope you liked it.)