Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to Kouta Hirano

Author's Notes: This was written for kelles' birthday (and she was kind to edit it), set in volume 5. It's using 30 kisses # 14 theme: radio-cassette player. Any comment Is appreciated.


"Captain! What do you think you are doing!"

Pip Bernadette inhaled calmly on his freshly started cigarette, pretending not to have listened to Seras' demand. He was lounged on a comfortable chair, surrounded by screens that monitored the perimeter of the Mansion. His braid was wrapped around his neck as he moved his head at the rhythm of the music of his radio-cassette player.

"Captain Bernadette!" Seras shouted again, approaching. He pretended to be unresponsive and engrossed by the loud metal melodies so she would venture closer and closer. "Captain!" she practically leaped on him with her screams. "We were left charged with-"

There, Pip grinned to himself and reached for Seras' arm, pulling the wide-eyed vampire girl to his lap. He was aiming to kiss her when she pulled away, violently pushing the chair and him towards the wall. He winced as they crashed, losing his hat and cigarette.

"You bloody prat!" Seras accused, panting and blushing red to her ears. "Why do you always have to harass me!"

Pip grunted, frowning and cracking his neck, "I am starting to wonder the same myself."

Seras blinked, looking endearingly flustered. The girl was, in his opinion, none too bright and rather clumsy, but her heart and constant dedication had grown on him.

"Then don't do it again!" Seras snapped, miffed, throwing daggers at his direction.

"I cannot rest in peace until I give you a kiss, Mignonette. You have me in your vampiric thrall," Pip jested, pulling out a new cigarette from his pocket to light. His grin widened considerably when the tune of a familiar song regarding of the Eskimos' mating habits started playing. "Listen, girl, it's our song!"

Seras gritted her teeth and bent to turn off the player, Pip paid special attention to her body language rather than how the skirt tucked up when she did that. Her limbs were shaking; almost imperceptible but there, as if the mere song upset her. "Put the fucking radio on if my taste of music hurt your sensibilities," he pointed out, shrugging. "But don't let this room silent."

Seras paused and stared at him, opening her mouth in half protest. "Why?"

"Because silence makes you nervous, doesn't it? It makes us all nervous to all in a way, when no one is speaking or making noises, one starts to doubt if they are alive or dead," Pip explained, inhaling and exhaling smoke anxiously. "Specially in crisis like these ones and when none of the owners are around."

She was surprised, genuine bafflement radiated on her features. She hesitated until catching a station. Ironically, the Eskimo Song was being broadcasted. Seras shot him a dirty look.

"What are the chances?" Pip asked with a sly smile and a hollow innocent tone. "You can change it."

"I am not afraid of a song!" Seras declared, stubbornly and crossed her arms, the corner of her lips twitched in irritation as the lyrics became more indiscreet. Both remained quiet, listening to the tune played and faded into another, a pop ballad of some American star. "They are taking awhile to return. I hope they are fine."

"They would be all right," Pip assured, moving his chair to near the desk once more. "And you are safe, you are with me." Seras snorted. "Hey there, Mignonette, I may not be a super vampire but I can still fight and protect you."

"If you ever do that, Captain," Seras replied with a sarcastic tone, a flash of defiance she would not normally have possessed sparkled. He was glad; she looked almost as a womanly as her body. "I will let you kiss me."

"I am going to kiss you anyway. And it's going to be a kiss to remember."

"How you will steal a-" Seras' question was never completely formulated. The music from the radio-cassette recorder faded into static. They both exchanged a meaningful glance before she tried to change channels, seeking any transmission. There was only static.

"Leave it, Mignonette," Pip suggested, covering his face with his hat. His anxiety increased, a dreadful feeling spread in his stomach, one that not even the smoke of his lungs could calm. "Go to your position. Walter's new gadget is waiting there. Ready for use."

Seras swallowed aloud and saluted, "Y-yes, Captain!" she answered, stuttering.

"Don't be worried, Mignonette," Pip tried to soothe Seras. "As long you don't mistake the enemy for the trees or a cloud like you did with the hostages in the practice, you'll be peachy."

"That's so encouraging! Thank you! I feel so much better now," Seras grumbled, insulted.

"Just an advice," Pip stated, he was not going to sugar coated his words around her. "You are skilled Seras, but sometimes your attention span is thin. Be certain before you fire, if you focus, you'll be successful always."

Seras' features softened into a smile and nodded. "Thank you," she repeated, this time sincerely. "I won't let you down, Captain!" she exclaimed and marched towards the door.

"Remember about the kiss, Mignonette!" Pip shouted after her, his eye focused on the way her hips swung when she walked.

"I would have preferred not to kiss you ever, Captain," Seras commented, stopping on the threshold. "I won't let you rest in peace," she added more quietly, holding his gaze before turning around once more. "I would like you better if you started using my name more, you know."

"As long you keep calling me Captain in private, I will address you as Mignonette."

She did not bother in argue his logic. Determinate, Seras exited and slammed the door behind her, leaving Pip with the static noise coming from his radio. He tilted his head and tried to catch any stray transmissions from authorities regarding how bad the situation was it. As uncertain as the circumstances were turning, the Captain was only sure of one thing, he would kiss Seras Victoria, even if his life depended on it.

But what are the chances?

Pip shook his head and focused on the oncoming battle, trying to not be unnerved by the monotone sounds overwhelming his senses, driving him insane. He would have preferred the deadly silence to the static.