Author's notes: I'm appalled… at what this show has come to. A few months away from watching the show nonstop and checking the fandom everyday has done a lot…
I hate the way Wanda and Cosmo's relationship is falling apart. It's ruining the show for me. And as I said in a review for azuretears's "Falling to Pieces" (which is what got me thinking for this fic) those writers have GOT to clean up their act, or risk people not watching the show.
And those of you who know me from "Coming Clean," I want you guys never to look at that story ever again! It stinks! I have grown so much as a writer since then… My other FOP fic, "Sweet Hesitation," is so much better…
I will warn you all, though- this fic is quite different from "Sweet Hesitation". It's exactly the opposite.
And now, another one-shot from lucyrocks73 (which is about all I do in this fandom anymore). This is all in Timmy's POV, if you're wondering.
I don't believe it. Three years ago, when I first heard the ominous introduction sentences "I'm Cosmo! I'm Wanda! And we're your Fairy God Parents!" I never would have guessed that this would happen.
I have no clue when it started… only that I should have seen it sooner. I can only blame myself.
I should have seen how he was treating her; how she would cry. I should have heard how he complained about her; how he talked to her. I should have known it would happen sooner or later. I shouldn't have been so oblivious.
Oblivious- that's it. That's the only word I can think of to describe how I was. I never noticed how cruel he was to her… I was too busy in my world of school, Chester and A.J., Trixie Tang, the Crimson Chin, and normal Timmy Turner-oriented things. I should have thought about them… not me.
He could have killed her… and I probably wouldn't have noticed…
He practically did, anyway- he just about killed her heart. And now, because I was so ignorant in the first place, it's up to me to pick up the pieces.
I wanted to cling on to some hope, that he'd change… change back to the old Cosmo, the idiotic, Cosmo that we loved. I guess Wanda still loves him- I don't understand why, after all he did to her- but she does. I guess, like me, she's just clinging on to hope… the hope that I've given up for dead.
She's worried about me; and I'm worried about her. We're going to have to depend on each other to get through this.
Towards the end, he was remorseful. But I was too blind to see what had happened… What would happen eventually…
Oh, why'd he have to do it? Why'd he have to kill himself? Did he think that removing himself would fix his marriage? Because it only made it worse… Wait a minute, what marriage is there anymore?
Doesn't he remember the words "till death do we part"?
Didn't he once think of Wanda?
Didn't… didn't he once think of me?
Oh great… there I go again, thinking of myself… as many times as Wanda tells me that I've got the most loving and giving heart, I'll never believe it.
I don't believe much anymore. My friends are noticing my silence. So are my mom and dad, and they're just as oblivious as I am… if not more…
I've grown so much… more then I'm supposed to, I think. And you know what? I can't tell a single person what's wrong with me, other then Wanda. She's the only one who knows, much less understands what I'm going through.
I feel older… like life isn't long enough for me. Everyone gets older, I guess, but I don't even know what I'm supposed to do about this. I mean, why am I here? I couldn't stop Cosmo from killing himself, from doing this. It's drastic- we all thought it was, and I'm sure Cosmo thought it was to.
I'm thirteen right now, soon to be fourteen- and I feel so much older…
I can't handle this… All I know is, I'm never going to commit suicide. Ever. And if I ever feel the urge to, I'll think about those who I'd leave behind… God knows Cosmo never did.
You know what, I think that he was just as selfish as I am.
Yeah, my marriage sucks because of me, so I'll make it better and disappear… I'll leave everyone… who cares if anyone misses me? I hate myself!
Yeah, I'll bet that's what he thought.
It was his fault to begin with… he should have been nicer to her. He shouldn't have weakened her like that… He weakened her for the blow that was soon to come.
I'll say it again- didn't he once think of us? I don't care if I'm being selfish anymore.
It's taken me this long to realize it, but I'm not quite as selfish as I thought I was… I just realized that. Cosmo was even more selfish.
I still don't know what was going through his head… and I have no clue why I'm still trying to figure it out.
Wanda cried at the funeral. I think everyone did, except Jorgen. Well, he's Jorgen, and he doesn't cry unless it's in his own self-pity.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried, too- but they were not tears of sadness. They were tears of anger, tears of regret.
Tears that could have been prevented if I hadn't been so oblivious.
Author's notes: Yes, Cosmo killed himself, and I know that seems drastic. But I guess, like Timmy, I've given up on all hope- and Cosmo seems at a loss to me.
And I know several of you feel the same, whether you're going to admit it or not.
I mentioned before that "Sweet Hesitation" (or "SH" is the opposite of this story. I meant it. When I wrote that, I was stuck in the past. Don't think that I didn't notice Cosmo's mistreating of Wanda… I tried to ignore it. So I wrote "SH", trying to put Cosmo back into the good 'ol days when all we had to worry about was Juan stealing Wanda away from Cosmo.
Now, I can't ignore it anymore. Which is why I wrote this.
Also, some of you may notice lyrics from "Phantom of the Opera" drabbled in once or twice in this story… that's what I was watching while writing this.
Please review… and no flames, please.