Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl.

Note: This takes place after EC but before OD, cause I MISS BEETROOT!

Prisoner of your own Home

Chapter 1

"You want me to what!" Holly exclaimed.

"Holly, it's only temporary-" managed Foaly. "Julius's orders."

"Shut UP!" said Holly. "I am not, I repeat, I am NOT going to house that-that-that PERVERTED SPRITE!" She banged her fists onto the table for effect.

Chix Verbil's house had been destroyed a week ago when some particularly unstable chemicals had mixed with the beetle juice he had left out from a couple nights ago. The resulting explosion had reduced his home to so many pieces of wood. Luckily for him, he was at work when it happened.

Holly put her head in her hands. "Why me? Why not someone else? Anyone else?" she questioned for the millionth time.

Foaly was about to say "Julius's orders" again, but thought better of it. Instead, he said, "He won't even be there half the time. You'll both be at work."

Commander Root heard them arguing in Foaly's office and burst in. Foaly and Holly didn't even know he was there until he had yelled, "SHORT! You will allow Verbil to stay in your house until he is ready to move into his apartment! That's a direct order Captain, don't you dare disobey me on that one!" And with his face glowing shade of purple that would have rivaled the color itself, Root lit one of his trademark fungus cigars and stalked out of the room.

"This just keeps getting better and better," Holly said through gritted teeth.

One day later:

Holly decided to meet Chix at his cubicle after work was over. She couldn't believe it. The LEP wanted her to give up her freedom, her space to this arrogant sprite? Unbelievable. Most people who saw her clenched fists and teeth kept their distance in the hall as she walked up to Verbil's workspace. A few people dared to go as far as to ask if anything was wrong. They were treated to one of her famous ice-melting glares.

Chix's door was closed, so she kecked it as hard as she could. When it was opened, she let herself kick Chix in the shin. Except it wasn't Chix. She accidently kicked Major Trouble Kelp. He yelped in pain and surprise, and stumbled backward.

"OhmygoshTroubleIamsosorry!" she apologized at once. "It was an acci-"

"It's okay, Holly, I'm fine," Trouble answered, clutching his knee. "I'll be going now," Limping slightly, he stumbled into the hall. Smooth move, she told herself.

Holly dragged her eyes back into Chix's cubicle. He had gotten up and said, "Hey beautiful. We're gonna have the best of times together, just you and me-ow!" Holly kicked him purposefully.

"Let's go," she said curtly, marching into the hall, towards the exit. This was going to be one long week.

Chix kept talking the entire way home, despite Holly's stern glares and frequent… ah… bodily harm to him. When they finally got to Holly's home, she began to really think about what she had gotten herself into by agreeing to let him in her house. Oh my God, she thought, I'm going to have to use the same shower as him, and eat with him, not to mention washing his laundry…

"Here's your room," she said coldly. It was actually Holly's study, but it only had a desk and a lamp. "The cot's in the closet." She pushed him in with his small suitcase of salvaged possessions, then stormed downstairs when a new though hit her: What to get for dinner?

OK, OK, a lame way to end the chapter. Review if you want to, keep in mind this is my first fanfic.