What The Shrink Told Me

By forbiddenlight

Disclaimer: Iay ownhay othingnay, otgay? Orhay oday Ihay eednay otay pellsay itay outhay orfay ouyay?

A/N: (My disclaimer's in pig Latin) Hiya. Enjoy. This shouldn't be anymore than four or five chapters... We'll see.


July 1st

9:41 AM; Dr. Mist's Office

"So, you're telling me to confront him and tell him how I feel?" Ginny asked her shrink, Dr. Mist. Dr. Mist nodded, her bright purple curls bouncing. "Yes," she said in a dreamy voice (Ginny got an image of Professor Trelawney.) "And tell him… Tell him how you feel."

"But Dr. Mist, he's in love!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Oh? Oh, my dear… You… You should have told me earlier… Who is this girl? Do… Do you know her?" Dr. Mist asked, fiddling with her hair.

"I have, doctor! I've told you this three times. Harry is in love with Luna Lovegood, my best friend! Dr. Mist, you have to remember this stuff! I need help!" Ginny burst into tears.

"Oh, oh, no, dear, don't cry… Now where did you meet this Lisa? And who is this Harold person again…"

"Where did you get your diploma?" Ginny demanded.

July 3rd

2:26 PM; Dr. Stewart's Office

Dr. Stewart was a dangling old fellow with heavy sideburns and a huge mustache. His skin stretched tightly over his cheekbones, so he gave you a starving appearance. However, Ginny couldn't help but notice how he had been constantly eating the entire appointment. First, sardines, then…

"Pork rinds?" Ginny asked him as he unearthed a plastic yellow bag from the inside of his desk. His breath was killing her. Ginny wanted to perform a bubblehead charm immediately, but Dr. Stewart was a muggle.

"Ah, yes, my favorite. Would you like some? Pork Rinds are great brain food."

Muggles are so gullible…

July 4th

4:37 PM; Dr. Owens' Office

"Dr. Owens," Ginny addressed him very calmly, folding her hands together. "I am getting extremely desperate."

Dr. Owens smiled seductively, laying his hand on her thigh. "Oh, please, Ginevra, call me Bobby."

Dr. Owens is old enough to be my grandfather.

July 7th

10:11 AM; Dr. Singer's Office

"I am getting desperate. You are the fourth shrink I have seen this week, and the first one forgot everything. The second one would simply not stop eating, and he was skinnier then a broomstick. The third one was hitting on me. Dr. Singer, will you help me?"

Dr. Singer looked up from her clipboard. "I'm sorry, um, what were you saying?"

July 7th

2:16 PM; Dr. Lytle's Office

"Okay, Ms. Weasley, take a deep breath… Now count to ten… Don't worry… Things will be fine… Being a homosexual has its benefits…"

"Dr. Lytle, I don't believe you heard me, I'm in love with Harry."

"Yes, yes… Don't worry, many men dress up as women in order to attract the man they feel strongly toward…"

July 7th

9:01 PM; The Leaky Cauldron

Ginny was crying into her firewhiskey. She was never going to find a decent shrink… She needed a shrink… She needed Harry to love her back, and not Luna.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. Ginny looked up at Luna Lovegood.

"Looks like I'm not the only one here pouting." She said softly, ordering three amberwines.

"What happened to you?" Ginny asked her softly, draining the last of her firewhiskey and getting up to leave.

"Harry broke up with me!" she sobbed.

July 13th

10:46 AM; Hallway in Front of Dr. Corner's Office

Ginny knocked on the door, labeled "Dr. Corner, therapist, sociologist", and waited. A rough voice allowed her entrance.

She slipped in and sank down in the chair facing the desk. The doctor hid his face behind a newspaper, and Ginny felt a sudden urge to rip it out of his hands. She was impatient; she was paying for this appointment, wasn't she?

"Please explain your situation, Ms. Weasley," the doctor commented from behind his newspaper. Ginny rolled her eyes, but began.

"I'm in love with my older brother's best friend. His name is Harry, and he and I were an object five years ago… But last year, when I thought I was finally over him, he and a friend named Luna became a couple. I've been mooning over him since then… But last week he broke up with Luna and I'm not sure if he's on the rebound or if it's safe to ask him out or-"

"Ginny," he interrupted, throwing his newspaper on the floor. A thumb wiped the tear from her cheek. "Ginny, it's okay… Don't go back to Harry Potter, stay with me…"

At the sound of her beloved's name, Ginny shook off her misery and looked up into the doctor's eyes. They were blue and oh so familiar…

Suddenly it all pieced together. "Corner? Michael Corner! It can't be!"

"But it can, Gin, and it so very well is…"