Takato: Hi guys. I've been thinking a bit on my writing style (realized in chapter 10 of Sun and the Moon I got a tad bit too enter key happy, after I re-read it a third time after SN 1987A said it was sort of a headache to read… uhm.. Sorry about that e.e0 And no, I'm not offended.). Oh, and I'm also bashing my head on my keyboard for misspelling 'Itsumo' or.. Whichever part of the 'Shinjitsu wa Itsumo Hitotsu' phrase at the end. I've never misspelled that before -cry-!
Soo I've been thinking long and hard on how to do the partner fic of 'In a Lose, Lose Situation'
Now, I think I'll place this before the whole.. Conan is cured, Shinichi and Ran have kids, blah blah blah
To a time where there was a chance for someone else.
This fan fiction is up to you to figure out your own desired wishes, even though it's a partner fic of ILLS, it isn't exact.
In fact, there may be elements of this fic used in S&M.
My side fics seemingly have.. Assisted Sun and the Moon.
So, without further enter spacing and 'ado, I give you, 'In a Win, Win Situation' By Emery, on the cd of 'The Question' (Awesome album)
I hope you enjoy
noticed your design, 'cause I'm not blind…
I'm like a cigarette, Burning burning every night …
Music played softly in the background as she leaned against the cold window resting, her deep blue eyes staring out into the darkness as she listened to the slow patter of the rain. It was quiet, quiet in a way that wasn't silence but to where it seemed as such, even though there were other normal sounds like the humming of a computer fan, or the snoring of the professor around her. She sat on the windowsill in the darkness of night, thinking about a certain detective.
She had been one of Them. One of his enemies.
He had accepted her.
Sure, it took a long time, but he accepted her.
She feared his acceptance, and yet… She welcomed it.
She was Haibara Ai now, she was his cure.
Ai sighed softly and closed her eyes, thinking back to when she first heard the name Kudo Shinichi.
She stopped her typing for a moment before turning slightly in acknowledgement, "Yes?"
"I want you to look into something for me… A person."
She turned more, only to see the shadow of a person, and somehow.. Somehow she knew that he was the boss. "A person…?"
The shadow seemed to grin slightly, "Yes… His name is Kudo Shinichi. He's an up-and-coming detective here in Japan…"
She shifted slightly, "What is it you want me to look into..?" After all, there were other people who were so-called 'investigators' in their ranks.
She paused. "His gene's..?"
The Boss nodded, "Kudo Shinichi's gene's may… be of some particular use to me."
And somehow it all lined up in her mind. She was creating a poison that was supposed to be untraceable…
Yet, she was also supposed to look for something that could cause a sort of immortality.
Kudo Shinichi's gene's would help the Boss' interest.
Ai smiled sardonically at her reflection.
If only she'd known back then what she did now. Or even, what she felt for the young man she was sent to investigate for his gene's.
She laughed softly to herself, in the darkness of night.
there's no ash that falls
There's only telephone calls in the afternoon
Stretching through a thousand walls
The scent of morning dew hung in the air, along with the scent of a recent and fresh rain.
He enjoyed the scent of it.
Music played softly in the morning air as he walked towards the edge of the Beika Park and sat down on a bench with a childish thwap. He then pushed his glasses back into place as he hit the programmed number of someone he called way too little in this form, "Hello, Mouri Detective Agency-"
"Hi Ran." The voice was most definitely not that of a child's, as the boy held a seemingly innocent bowtie up to his face.
"Shinichi! You haven't called in such a long time!"
The boy smiled, "Nice to hear your silly voice too, Ran."
He could imagine her face all annoyed and perplexed, "Mou Shinichi!"
He laughed, "Awe, c'mon now Ran. I didn't mean anything by it."
The girl on the other line sighed, "Shinichi…"
His eyes dimmed a bit, as he realized where the conversation was going.
It was always like this, "Yeah?" His throat got a little dryer. He couldn't stand lieing to her in the first place, let alone with his real voice.
"Are you.. ever going to come back, Shinichi…? Ever…?"
His breathing stopped.
"O- Of course, stupid! Have I ever not come back when I said I-"
"Yes you have! You never came back that night after Tropical Land, you never came back after leaving for that case during that one night when you took me to that restaurant and said you had something important to tell me-!"
"I know!" He choked, a desperate and raw feeling resounding with his voice.
"..Sh..Shinichi… Are you cry-"
"Of course not!"
When had Kudo Shinichi ever cried?
The boy tucked his legs up close to his chest as he seemingly tried to draw into himself as much as possible, "I never cry Ran… ever."
A tear fell. Even if Conan cries.. Kudo Shinichi…
He'd lied again.
"How can you never cry Shinichi..?" her voice was quivering with pent up frustration, "How could you not…? Does nothing hurt you, Shinichi…?"
He was silent for a few moments, "There's a lot of things Ran.. A lot of things that make me want to scream yell.. Anything. It's just… I can never seem to let myself… cry… that's all." All except for you, Ran.
She sighed softly, "..I'm sorry."
He paused, "..For what…?"
"For upsetting you like that… You don't.. call often and.. I just… I'm sorry."
"..You don't need to apologize. I know you miss me… just as much as I miss you Ran…"
She paused, "Sh-… Shinichi…"
He smiled wryly, "I guess you have to finish getting ready for school, neh? Tell everyone I said Hi, k?"
She seemingly nodded, "Yeah… See you around.. Kudo Shinichi."
She stayed for a moment before hanging up.
He waited until the dial tone sounded for a few moments before sighing and shutting off his phone.
He had never broken before during a phone call to Ran.
Was it… really getting that hard…?
For words to say
To make these miles disappear
Conan ran up the stairs, a smile on his face as he opened the door to the apartment part of the agency, "Tadaimas!"
Ran came out of the kitchen, dressed for preparing dinner, "Conan-kun! Welcome home! Dinner will be ready soon, ok?"
Conan nodded and closed the door as he took of his shoes, making his way to his room.
Well, Kogoro's room, but who was counting?
As he made his way there, he paused in front of Ran's door, and dropped his backpack with a somewhat heavy thumpd as he stood there lax.
After a few minutes of thought, he walked in and took out her photo album that he just simply knew she hid there.
Taking it out, he struggled a little and brought it onto her bed and dropped it heavily, releasing his smaller and younger form of its burden. He sighed softly and smiled as he adjusted himself accordingly onto her bed and opened the first page of the large book, going through each page and reminiscing, loosing himself to time.
Times he'd all-but forgotten.
Times he needed to remember, to refresh himself of who he was.
Shinichi found himself doing this often, not as much as he did at first, but often enough where he sometimes forgot he was Conan.
Ran, somehow, instinctively knew when he was in these moods of looking through the photo album after the first few awkward instances of the constant occurrence. Once she got used to his random broodings though, he would find her joining him and telling him about what happened, and soon, he found himself remembering things more clearly.
His point of view, and her's.
The memory was completed in his mind each time.
He loved it.
Of course, he was saddened by the fact that he couldn't share his half of the memory with her, to complete the feelings for her as well but… it couldn't be helped.
He was someone else, after all.
Even so, during the times she held him in her lap, closely to herself as if protecting him and comforting him…
It was why he never questioned staying with her.
They were in-tuned to each other.
They were one in their own way…
And that was how he stayed sane through each night she cried, where he would wake up and come to her room and let her cry into his hair.
He comforted her as she did to him.
It's why he stayed strong.
And the music played softly in the background.
you can't sleep alone(If you can't sleep alone)
I'm better off
I'm better off
If you can't sleep alone
There were times, when she wanted to call him.
She felt silly, considering who she was, and moreso, the hour.
Agasa as her protector wasn't always enough.
There were times that she wanted to call him, and ask for him to hold her until she fell asleep.
She didn't know where these notions came from, whether not just because of loneliness, or because of circumstance… But she knew he probably would never come to comfort her.
She shook her head slightly and turned over in her bed, her gold locks spreading out around her.
She felt weak.
Suddenly, she heard a tapping coming from her drawer. She blinked, and got up slowly as she went and opened it to see what the tapping was.
She picked the small trinket up, and hit the necessary button, "Hello?" No one could blame her for sounding perplexed considering, who was up at this hour…?
She paused, "Kudo?"
Another pause, "Uhm… Could you… open the door?"
Now she was startled, what the heck was Kudo doing…?
She opened the door, and found the said teen-turned-boy standing sheepishly, and yet tiredly in front of the professor's front door, "Sorry to uhm… 'call' so early… But, I figured you were still awake…"
She looked at him a few moments before rolling her eyes slightly and moving to the side, "Come in."
After a few minutes of adjusting to each other she felt the need to ask, "Are you staying?"
"Yeah. I left a note for Ran letting her know I was here."
She stared blankly at him a few moments, nodding mentally and yet still bothered, "And..?"
He turned and blinked, "And what?"
"Why are you here…?"
He looked down sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, "I… Don't know."
Well, that was interesting, or perhaps, new. "You don't know?"
He looked to her somewhat agitated, "Yeah, but why are you still awake?"
"I want to be held."
The words left her mouth before she could even think about what she was saying, or even stop them.
She really was tired.
Of course, Shinichi's reaction was somewhat amusing, a mixture of blinking, and gaping like a proverbial fish, so to speak. "-Wha?"
Ai sighed softly, rubbing her temples, "Ignore what I just said- I wasn't thinking." She then started walking towards the room where she and Agasa-hakase slept, "Go fix yourself a bed- you know how."
Just as she thought she would be by herself, and lay down in bed to berate herself on saying something stupid again, she suddenly felt herself stopped by a hand clasped tightly around her wrist, "Ai."
He never spoke her first name, alias or not, "Conan."
They stood in the hallway, not looking at each other, before Shinichi finally spoke up again, "You're.. always lonely Ai… For once.. For once I'd like to help you to not feel that way."
It was hard to say.
It was hard to hear.
She turned to him, shocked and surprised, confused, "What?"
He looked her in the eyes, "When we first met… All I could do was stand there in my own frustration as you cried over your grievances," Akemi… "I'd… I'd like to make up for that… in any way possible.. Besides… you've done so much already, always trying to find a cure for.. For this…"
She felt her eyes burn, "Kudo…"
He looked down for a moment before looking her in the eyes again, determined and decided, "What do you want Shiho?"
He had said it softly.
Her name, hearing it from him…
Shiho didn't sound as painful as it had before.
She felt herself cave in a bit, remember Akemi and everything else…
"I couldn't ask-"
She closed her eyes tightly for a moment.
A tear slid down the side of her face, showing her feelings, "I-..ah.." She sighed softly and clasped her hand around his and tugged him towards the direction of the couch. He seemed confused, and yet aware of what she was doing as she directed him to sit on the couch.
She rested against him, her eyes closed as he awkwardly, yet instinctively wrapped his arms around her just right, "Just… Hold me until I fall asleep… just for a bit…"
She felt free of some unknown burden after that, falling asleep to a soft melody playing somewhere far away.
Or perhaps, it was in her own mind that it played.
you're measuring with time
In seconds or in lifetimes
There's no difference
It's constantly just passing by
there's nothing at all
No valium or slow songs
To relax my view
Just you, maybe your new perfume
He hummed softly as he stood on a nearby lamp post, looking to her bedroom window.
His white cape fluttered softly in a light summer breeze, barely affecting his sense of balance.
He sighed softly and took out the gem of his latest heist, and held it up into the air, holding it up to the moon as he examined it closely.
He slid the stone into one of his many pockets, and looked back to his friend's window, humming softly still as he stared at her dark window.
He didn't expect her to be awake at these times, when his heists took a strange turn and he was home far later than he had meant to be, even so, he tried to take the time when available to just stare at her window.
He thought of adding a thing of flowers to the window, so it wouldn't be so plain, and to make it stand out.
White roses would look nice there.
He paused for a moment, berating himself on his stupidity, when suddenly he heard a sh-fkh of her windowsill open.
He felt frozen as she looked him in the eyes.
She seemed kind of shocked as well, though he was pretty sure he'd put up his Poker Face before she could even notice his face.
They stared at each other a few moments before she seemed to come back to reality, "..Kaitou Kid…?"
He placed a hand on the rim of his hat, pulling it lower to add deep shadows to his face, "Just resting my wings miss…"
She blinked, probably finding those words to be chauvinistic and stupid, "Uhm… Alright… uh… Was.. Was that you humming just now..?"
He blinked, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked at her interested, "Yes."
She looked down, probably informing her brain that yes, she was talking to Kid, and asking it why she wasn't running over to her dad to tell him to arrest Kid..? Oh, that's right, he could just open his hang glider and fly away before she could even take a step out of her room.
Her dad needed his sleep anyways, "Uhm… is that an actual song…?"
He smiled, "Yes. Would you like me to sing it for you, Nakamori-san…?"
He felt his palms get sweaty in his pockets as nervousness set in.
He'd never sang for anyone.
Aoko blinked, thinking over the suggestion, "Sure but… uhm…"
He blinked, "What?"
She smiled slightly, "Uhm… Hold on a moment, will you?"
He nodded, and for some reason, knew she wasn't going off to her father's room to tell him that the Kid was there.
A moment later, she was on the roof, "Would you maybe like to join me up here instead of balancing on that lamp post like an idiot?"
He almost fell off to the side, jolted by her accusations. Yet, he managed to square himself up in time and keep himself in check from retorting back in a Kaito-like manner, "Uhm.. Sure."
He jumped easily, pulling himself onto the roof with her in ease.
She was somewhat surprised, seemingly becoming more nervous than she had been before, considering she was on her roof, in pajama's, with Kaitou Kid in the middle of the night. She was interested though, in her ability to throw him off guard.
She sort of liked that.
Aoko sat down and pulled her legs up to her chest, looking to him, as if waiting for him to sit down and sing for her.
He blinked, and sat down awkwardly, looking down somewhat into space before looking her in the eyes, "So you want me to sing for you…? Nakamori-san?"
She nodded, half noticing how young he looked.
He looked away from her, looking towards the moon and then closing his eyes before beginning, "Taiyou ga kyou mo kurayami ni noboru… Kizutsuite yomigaeru yuuki mitai ni…"
The melody seemed to flow on the wind in the darkness, bringing a strange calm and peace to those who could hear it consciously or unconsciously.
It was like magic.
For words to say
To make these miles disappear
She smiled as she realized Conan had fallen asleep on their way home. She held him close to her, and shifted him slightly so that he could possibly be a little bit more comfortable.
Ran knew he hated falling asleep suddenly, especially when he was sick, and/or passed out.
When she had first realized Conan's respiratory problems, she wasn't really sure on what to do, or what to make of it, so, she used method's she had with Shinichi when he'd gotten sick with a cold.
The method's worked.
Now, one might not see that as all that interesting, but Shinichi's cold's were special, and had quirks to them that normal cold's didn't have, and thus, weren't really useable for other people since it tended to fail.
Both Conan and Shinichi were special cases for her.
Ran sighed, and ran her fingers through his unruly hair lightly with a slight smile as Sonoko snored away on the other side of the back seat.
She knew Conan was Shinichi and yet…
Yet Conan and Shinichi, in and of themselves, were different.
She stopped questioning herself, knowing that even though her eyes said, "No, this isn't possible, and you've been proved wrong far more than once. " she kept believing that Conan was Shinichi.
Not only had she grown up with Shinichi, but she lived with Conan just about everyday.
How could she not see it?
He had his reasons, whatever they may be. Every time Shinichi called, she could picture both Conan and Shinichi standing somewhere, a hand in one pocket, a slight smile on his face…
Though recently, Shinichi seemed to have sobered up…
She couldn't picture him nor Conan smiling during these phone calls.
She felt the need to keep his own hopes up, whatever they may be.
Of course she knew it had to do with Conan, or else why would Shinichi be surprised by her question?
Will you ever come back…?
She didn't know how he really interpreted her question but…
Did he really, honestly have a hope of coming back, as himself again?
There were times at night when Conan's sad face would appear in front of her from different moments in time. Yet, the one that appeared most occurred in her dreams… The dreams that plagued her when she would relive the moment that Conan returned heartbroken, saying that Shinichi couldn't come back, and that he'd left his father's credit card to take care of the bill…
Now that she just knew that Conan was Shinichi… Now that she was simply waiting for him to tell her how and why…
That moment haunted her, for how she had tried to block him out…
He was suffering as much, if not more than her.
How could he stand to live as Conan all the time?
She hugged the young boy close to her, pondering these thoughts as he slept on, his fever keeping him away from noticing her tears that started to slowly form.
She rested her head softly on the glass of the car window, a tear slowly sliding down her cheek in grief for the past, and for whatever sufferings she had brought onto him through forgetting who he was or simply out of ignorance…
Ran began to hum softly as Kogoro kept driving, the song falling in and out of the air, just as the snow did that surrounded their car.
you can't sleep alone(if you can't sleep alone)
I'm better off
I'm better off
Aoko remembered when they were younger, when she would go over to his house and ask to sleep over since her father wasn't home.
The Kuroba's always welcomed her, and yet with time, it became seemingly unnecessary.
She was older now.
Tonight was different though.
Something felt wrong and it scared her.
Without thinking about it, she found herself already having walked over to the Kuroba home, and having knocked on the door. Now, of course she had a key but, seeing as what time it was… it didn't seem like a particularly good idea to let herself in.
After a couple of moments, a dim light turned on, and the door opened to a bedraggled Kaito, who seemingly had just recently bathed and showered since he was drying his hair. She had very early on stopped trying to understand the quirks of a Kuroba.
Kaito blinked, "Aoko…? What are you doing here…?"
She shifted slightly, somewhat embarrassed, "Uhm… I couldn't sleep and I just… came."
Kaito seemed to just look at her for a moment, something for a moment flashing and flickering in his eyes before he stepped to the side, "Come in."
She nodded and stepped in, the front door being silently closed and locked in practiced ease, "Sorry about coming so late, so suddenly…"
He looked at her and smiled slightly, "Well, you are welcome at all times, Aoko."
She blushed slightly, "Uh.. Sure." Aoko paused at the couch before turning back to Kaito, "Why are you still up…?"
Kaito blushed faintly, "Lost track of time."
She raised a speculative eyebrow, "How?"
He grinned, "Working on a new magic trick." To piss of your father. He's sure to have kittens next heist.
She smiled, "Will you show me sometime?"
Kaito lit up, "Sure! I always like to show you my newest tricks first!"
She was glad.
Suddenly, Kaito sobered up a little bit, turning happy to concerned, "I know that this may be somewhat awkward but.. Uhm.. Why exactly couldn't you sleep?"
She found herself staring at the floor before flopping onto the couch, "Something felt wrong, like…I don't know… It was as if I needed to leave."
Kaito paused, and for some reason, she realized he was taking her words seriously.
So seriously that he was using his Poker Face.
He never used Poker Face around her.
Kaito nodded slowly and looked her in the eyes, "Would you help me make sure the house is locked up?"
She nodded, and after checking everything, went and found Kaito in the guest room fixing the bed, "I could have done that you know, Kaito."
He looked to her and smiled slightly, "I know, but I wouldn't be a good host then, would I?"
He was right, and because of that, she sighed softly, "So why did you become so serious all of a sudden?"
She then felt herself held closely to him, pressed against him in a tight, yet comfortable hug as he buried his head into her hair.
She hadn't even seen him move.
It was also then she realized how much taller and different he was in comparison to her physically, "Never doubt those feelings Aoko. Never."
They'll save you someday.
And they did.
If you can't hear the song(if you can't hear the song)
Then turn it off
Then turn if off
If you cast that first stone
Then throw them all
Then throw them all
She waited at the terminal, waiting for her plane to be ready to take passenger's.
His footsteps, unmistakable to her ears, sounded behind her, "Haibara…"
She smiled coolly, and turned around to look him in the eyes, "Kudo."
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "We do this almost every time we talk."
She was amused by his frustration, especially since she knew he wasn't a 13 year old. Even so, it was still comical, "Does it bother you that much that I'm leaving, Kudo?"
He looked her directly in the eyes, "Are you happy, Haibara..? Shiho..?"
She felt herself twitch, "Edogawa."
He shook his head, "Are you happy?"
She stared him in the eyes for a few moments, "Of course."
He looked her in the eyes, his gaze never wavering, "Are you sure about that?"
He had begun to step closer, until she had stepped back into the glass and his hand had come to rest beside her head as he effectively kept her in place in his own unobtrusive, yet obtrusive way. She on the other hand, suddenly lost her complete train of thought, "Why does it matter?"
"Because, I want you to be happy."
She smiled slightly, "Kudo, I don't think someone like myself will ever be truly happy." Especially since you are the only one who ever has in the way you have effected me…
He looked her in the eyes for a moment, seemingly searching her soul, when suddenly he moved closer until she found herself instinctively closing her eyes as he did, and receiving the kiss he so willingly gave to her.
She had never felt anything like that in that single moment in her life, and she knew…
She knew she would never have this chance again.
Ai suddenly found herself lost to the world, holding onto him like some lovesick fool, taking in all he was willing to give her in that moment of a single passionate kiss.
And then it was over.
They looked each other in the eyes for a few moments, catching their breaths as the call for her plane was made, "Be happy Haibara, in everything that you do from this moment on. Everything."
Yet, she realized that she was happy.
She never regretted again.
She was free.
start to sleep but it's not over
The second hand is moving slower now
I'd take it all back
To start over again
The sound of the gunshot was deafening to his ears as he watched, horrified as Vermouth collapsed in front of him. He went over to her slowly, shaking, feeling outside of himself, "Vermouth…"
She looked at him with half dead eyes, blood having run from the corner of her mouth down the side of her cheek, "Cool guy… Take them for me, neh? You really… should be with that Angel of yours…"
Her eyes dulled, and he knew she was gone.
He felt something well deep within himself.
Conan instinctively picked up the small pistol Vermouth had dropped as her life had drained from her and he clicked off the safety and looked to his opponent, "Gin…"
The man on the other side smirked, a cigarette in his mouth, "Have any regrets, Tantei-san?"
Conan felt himself smirk, the gun pointed to kill as he became strangely sure of himself, "Perhaps one…"
Gin became interested, and raised an eyebrow in slight question as he clicked a new bullet in place to take the boy out with, "Oh?"
"Not being able to stop you sooner."
He pulled the trigger. The shot rang with an even louder voice than the first that had killed Vermouth, yelling accusations at the action he had just committed.
Gin was shocked as Conan lowered the small pistol slightly.
Gin smirked, a smirk that made shivers run down his spine, "I didn't think you had the gall…" His body fell backwards, it's support of life leaving it.
He felt himself collapse as he dropped the empty gun, it's clattering resounded through his ears.
Shinichi felt sick to his stomach.
He understood it now, how people could kill each other.
He understood… and never ever wanted to understand it again.
He heard Ran's voice call out to him and he turned instinctively and smiled slightly, feeling tired suddenly, "It's over now… It's finished."
He knew nothing else after that.
His body had shut itself off from the trauma of the experience.
He didn't honestly care.
between the rock and paper
The scissors cut in so much deeper
I'd take it all back
To start over again
Completed with 14 pages, size 10 font, single spaced.
Final Note: Kaito's song is from Inuyasha's Vocal Single song, "Aoki yasei o daite."
Today the sun still rises in the darkness,
It seems like courage that was hurt, and reawakened.
So, yup. I decided to take the lyrics from the only song lyrics I could find/knew of, of Kappei.. because.. we heart Kappei, considering he's not only Inuyasha's VA, But Kaito and Shinichi's as well. X3 Yiiee -fangirlie squee-
As for grammer/sentance formatting, etc etc problems... well... my eyes were getting tired, blurry, and dry by page what.. 7? It's not that late but.. for some reason, my sleeping pattern's been shot off to the plunnies, and I have yet to get into a normal routine. -sigh- Forgive mistakes, I shall try and put up a fixed chapter sometime soon (If I remember to do so e.e0)
Also: I'd like to say I'm kind of speechless over MichelleTherese's review. o.o