Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply and all that…Bleach doesn't belong to me even though in bizarro world it might…probably not but whatever.

Authors Notes: If anyone out there in internet land is wondering about my other Bleach fic, "History and Her", well I'll get to it…eventually. I have been pretty busy in addition to my own head waging a war against me, so, yeah. Last thing, this fic does concern my favorite Bleach character, Keigo, and is a helluva lot darker than my other fics and if possible, think about the song "All I know" by Art Garfunkel, it's part of it, enjoy!

Behind the Door

Scattered all around me, comics, drawings, writings, all little bits and pieces of what I thought I could have been. Look closer and you see magazines, some in Japanese, some not, hey I am known for pop culture and the like, right? Well, it doesn't really matter, all that crap is around me now, and all I can see is the damn ceiling.

"Hey, is Ichigo there?"

"Uh no, he went out a while ago with his friends…can I take a message?"


They say when it happens your whole life flashes in front of you, so of course I had a pretty good view of the ceiling. But what was odd and what did occur to me other than that slow sinking feeling was how the day started, how I started to just…remember so much.

"Hey Tatsuki? What's up?"

"Huh, oh hey Keigo."

"So, ha-"

"Chad, have you seen Orihime?"

It all just started piling up in my head, every bad memory and every marginal one. My good ones almost always associated with some one else's victory, some one else's crush or championship, but me, the funny guy, in the back, better left on his own.

For everyone else who I was trying to impress I guess I put on a different face and voice, but my parents. I guess I had stopped trying at some point, maybe I wanted them to find out what was really ticking in my ol head, or maybe I had just stopped caring. The problems of the young never amount to any of the problems of the older, it's so damn easy to solve your problems when you're young, and if you can't, then, well, something must be wrong with you, right?

"Hey Keigo, is it true?"

"What Mizuiro?"
"That you've been seeing the school psychologist for the past few days?"

"Uh, yeah I guess…it's no big deal though, I mean Asano-sama the great isn't crazy or anything?"

"No man, of course not."

"So you busy tonight?"
"…I' m kind of double dating with Ichigo and Rukia…and I think Tatsuki and Chad, and I think…"

It's getting funny, really funny. At this point it's supposed to be inappropriate to laugh, but hey, what social standing to I stand to sacrifice? I'm not going to say that no one cared, cause frankly they did, they cared too much. Ichigo, Rukia, Mizurio, Chad, Orihime, Tatsuki…they all cared so much and were going so far so fast in the world. They were all so damn smart, so good at what they wanted to do. Maybe I could have too, being the funny guy, but the thing is, I never wanted to be the funny guy.

I wanted to be smart and strong like Ichigo, like Chad, like all the rest, hell, even like Ishida, minus the antisocial badass-ness. I remember drawing, maybe comics. I remember writing, maybe stories.

"Huh, what is it Asano-kun?"

"I was just wondering what all the commotion was about Orihime?"
"Well, Kurosaki-kun is being talked to by the teacher."


"He wrote this really incredible story; Kurosaki-kun is so impressive, neh?"

"Uh, yeah really."

"Asano-kun, you really shouldn't rip stuff and litter like that!"

Man, maybe I was trying too hard? Trying too hard to what, though? All kids have talents, right? What if a kid doesn't like his, or has guys and gals all around him that can change talents at will? Sheesh, look at me asking questions like this, maybe I should have done that more in school or even talked a little to those people outside Kurosaki and Kuchiki's sphere of influence.

"Uh, hey are you in the wrong place or…"

"No, this is the club or something right?"
"…you're that Asano guy, right? Well I guess you can sit over there or something…"

"You know…never mind."

Fridays and Saturdays were the worst, all the guys, Tatsuki and everyone else were out and having fun or just being bored, outside. I would stay inside, usually, watch T.V., internet, whatever. So, in turn I guess I just started to hate my room and was slightly relieved that we were forced to associate in school. For better or worse I got to sit near Tatsuki usually.

"Yo Keigo?"

"Yeah, hey Tatsuki, what?"

"Can you tell Sado-ku, I mean Chad that-"

I remember being a little brat, before I met Tatsuki or Strawberry or any of the dorks. I remember anime I'd watch, video games I'd play, usually role playing ones or something. Funny thing, the one really loud memory in my head is the first dumb ass joke I told to Tatsuki and Orihime, the one that made Chad and Ichigo ask me my name then get it wrong.

I hear a door opening, but by then my eyes are closed and I've already saved y'all the trouble.


Authors Notes: Good, bad, like it, hate it, some feed back on this one would be really appreciated. Take care.