The not so well hidden secret of Lorelai Gilmore


Luke watched his favourite customer leaving. He couldn't help but notice, not for the first time, that Lorelai Gilmore had a great figure. Especially her booty was outstanding, Luke thought, firm, round and just the right size. Her stomach was perfectly flat and her legs as well shaped as her booty was. Normally her shoulders were strained, they showed the same attention for her surrounding like her sparkling eyes did. Well ok, before a fair amount of coffee her shoulders, arms and face hung down like the ones of Luke's late grandmother. But if Lorelai's caffeine level was high enough, her face was radiating humour and compassion and this skin, flawless.

While Luke was in thought roaming Lorelai's body, her dressed body of course, he came to the conclusion that something was wrong, must be wrong.

Just today she had finished a portion of chilli fries and a milk shake. Another times she would have pizza, burger, steak brownies or pancakes. Whatever the diner provided and what contained lots of fat and carbohydrates and less vitamins.

From time to time Luke would try to cheat a bit on Lorelai. He would serve her noodle soup with lots of vegetables in it. Every time Lorelai would stoically fish out the noodles eat one or two pieces of carrot and return the rest of the food. Luke knew how many pieces of carrots she had eaten because he counted the veggie pieces in the soup. Yes Luke Danes cared much for his favourite customer.

No human being was able to maintain such a gorgeous figure with eating junk food, not even Lorelai Gilmore could, he thought.

A disturbing thoughts struck him. What if Lorelai was bulimic? Or on one of these weight-loss drugs like Xenical? No Lorelai is not bulimic, Luke told himself. He could judge from her teeth, from her very white and shiny teeth.

He conducted that there must be something that he didn't know, yet. It must be a secret. And now, Luke decided, it was about time to find out.


The next day Luke approached her in his casual manner.

"Say Lorelai, don't you think pancakes with syrup and butter are poison for your nice figure?"

Lorelai looked up from her plate chewing a big mouthful of this sweet delicious food.

"No Luke, they're heaven for me tortured brain. Those sweet round flat, fluffy things and some cups of java," she managed to say before she shovelled in another spoon full of it.

"But what's with your skin," Luke tried. "You know fat and sugar are the main reason of acne."

Now Lorelai looked up a little longer. "Hormone havoc of adolescence is the main cause of acne. You might have noticed that I left my teenage days already behind me."

Luke remained silent and bit his lower lip.

Lorelai swallowed another piece of pancake. "Do you think telling customers that your food isn't healthy is proper advertising? I don't mean to dictate you how to run your business, but eventually I'm the very successful owner and manager of the very lovely Dragonfly Inn. So if you need advice….but for now you can refill my coffee mug."

Luke groaned. This was not running down smoothly.


At around 7 pm Rory entered Luke's Diner.

"Hey Luke, do you have a sandwich for me?"

"Sure, chicken or tuna?"

"I think I'll go for chicken."

While Luke was preparing the food, Rory sat down and took out her mobile phone. "Hey mom, it's me. C'mon answer. I've forgotten my key in Yale." And in direction of Luke she said, "Great, my mother is a voice box."

Now this might be interesting, Luke thought. He brought the plate to Rory's table. "Where's your mother supposed to be at the moment?"

"I don't know," Rory said in an almost whiny tone. "Sookie says she has left the Inn around one hour ago, but she isn't at home either. I even tried at grandma's but of course she wasn't there. And she's not answering the calls on her mobile."

"She probably has an…affair…?" Luke guessed. Yes that could fit. Lots of bed action is adding to the energy balance.

Rory waved aside. "No I would no that, don't worry."

"I'm not worrying about Lorelai having an affair," Luke blurted.

Rory just shrugged. "As you say. But wherever she is it doesn't change, that I have forgotten the key to the house at my room in Yale. I think I'd like to wait for her here."

"No problem, Rory," Luke said and went back to the counter.


At precisely 7.42 pm Lorelai Gilmore entered the Diner.

"Hey mom, where were you?" Rory exclaimed.

Lorelai flashed her a smile. "I love you too, hon."

"Do you have water, Luke?" she said to her friend.

Luke surveyed Lorelai sceptically. "No coffee?"

"Uhm, no, had coffee with Sookie at the Inn."

"Must be some time ago," Luke remarked.

"No I just came from the Dragonfly."

"Sookie told me that you left at six," Rory said and stared at her mother.

"Uhm, well yeah, the tire, you know. I had to change the tire on the way, had a flat foot," Lorelai muttered.

"Funny how your hand remained clean," Luke said and looked at her.

"Hey, is that going to be a cross-examination?"

"We just ask you were have you been in the last one and half hours?" Luke said and Rory nodded approvingly.

"I'm a lady, ok. And a lady has secrets." Lorelai said defensively.

"I told you, she has a lover," Luke said to Rory.

"What!" Lorelai looked furiously now. "I have no lover."

Suddenly Rory rose to her feet. "So why than your hairline is wet?" She ran her finger over her mother's temple.

"What do you think, Rory? A tire change makes you sweaty."

"That's not sweat, that's," Rory sniffed and looked a little surprised. "That's water with shower gel." Rory snuffled at her mother, too and Luke couldn't help but grin.

"Ok, Sherlock Holmes! I had a shower recently." Lorelai rolled her eyes and let her mouth stay open in annoyance.

"And why Lorelai Gilmore has a shower on her way from the Inn to the Diner?" Luke pressed.

"Because Lorelai Gilmore was running on a thread mill," Lorelai answered, obviously snappy to reveal that bit of information.

Luke and Rory stared at her open-mouthed. "You did what?" Rory had recovered her speech first.

Lorelai threw her hands up. "I'm member in a gym, ok? Monday Tae Bo, Wednesday thread mill and Friday strength training. Hey what do you folks think I maintain this figure? And besides how do you think I sustain these Friday Night Dinners? I need to workout heavy before it. But it's not necessary that the whole of Stats Hollow knows that, ok guys."

"Sooner or later I would have found out," Luke chuckled.

Lorelai looked puzzled at him. "How?"

"I just would." Suddenly Luke broke into laughter. He was not going to tell her that she shouldn't present her booty in the tightest jeans and eat huge plates of chilli fries at the same time when she wanted to keep this secret.

It wasn't often that one could see Luke Danes laugh and Lorelai had to smile. She didn't knew about what exactly he was laughing but it made her happy to see him like that.