Bitter Memories

By Duck Goddess

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned here.

A/N: This fic is a little two-shot about some moments in HBP in Ginny's POV. This chapter takes place when Ginny and Dean go on a date to Hogsmeade, when Ginny and Dean are kissing and when Ginny visits Harry in the Hospital Wing.

Chapter One – Moments with Dean

My relationship with Dean had all started at the end of my fourth year. I was in the Hospital Wing, reliving the battle at the Department of Mysteries. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville and Luna were asleep beside me. I picked up a copy of The Quibbler when a deep voice nervously said, "Er, hi, Ginny."

I looked up. There he was, looking at his feet, his dark skin flushed.

"Hello, Dean," I said pleasantly although I had no clue as to why he was here. Sure, we talked a few times in the Common Room but we weren't particularly close.

"I heard about what happened at the Ministry. I'm really sorry," he said sincerely.

"Don't say that. It wasn't your fault – it wasn't anyone's. Besides, I just got a broken ankle, that's all," I said.

"Well, I was wondering…would you like to go with me to Hogsmeade next year?" Dean asked hurriedly.

I gaped at him. I couldn't say that I was unsurprised. Dean never really showed any real interest in me before. I thought he would go for girls like Parvati. Instinctively, I looked over at Harry. There he lay, pale and unmoving. Let go of him, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Hermione said in my head. How is he going to know the real you if you don't act like yourself in his presence?'

Dean followed my gaze and looked down. "Um, if there's something going on between you and Harry…" he trailed off.

I looked at him. He was more nervous than ever and I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. Dean's a nice bloke; just say yes! Besides, you could make Harry jealous…

As if he would be.

"No," I replied, "There's nothing going on between Harry and me. And I'd love to go to Hogsmeade with you." Despite how cliché going to Hogsmeade is, the voice in my head added.

"Great!" he exclaimed, grinning. "I'll owl you over the summer, then." He left, looking more confident than before.

I looked over at Harry. He was frowning and breathing rapidly. I sighed. It wasn't fair – he had been through so much.

"Sirius," I heard him say softly. Subconsciously, I stood up and sat next to his bed. It hurt me to see Harry like this.

"Sirius isn't here, Harry. But I am," I said gently, taking his hand. He clutched onto mine for dear life and I felt my heart beat faster.

"Sirius," Harry said again, "I'm sorry."
"It wasn't your fault, Harry."

Harry stopped frowning and his breathing slowed down. I stood up and did what my mum always did when I was having a hard time – I kissed him lightly on the forehead. He suddenly smiled. I smiled too.

"It's horrible isn't it?" a voice suddenly said sadly. It was Hermione.

"I still wonder how he can be so strong…" I said softly, "How are you feeling?"

"Better," said Hermione, "The potions are disgusting, though. I saw that whole ordeal with Dean."

I raised an eyebrow at my best friend. "And?"

"Well, it's not going to be nice for him, is it? I mean, you still fancy Harry and it's not very nice of you to lead him on," said Hermione critically.

"I'm not leading him on," I snapped, "I like Dean. He's a nice bloke!"

"Sure you do," Hermione said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "You wouldn't hold his hand and kiss him on the forehead while he was sleeping, would you?"

I remained silent. She was right – my feelings for Dean were purely platonic. However, who knew what would happen if I got to know him better?

"Maybe I'll fancy him when I get to know him better," I said, voicing my thoughts.

"Maybe," said Hermione, nodding. "He's alright, I guess. He's perfectly suitable for my best friend."

"Geez, Ron's rubbing off of you. Soon, you'll catch his obliviousness," I replied and we both laughed.

A few months later, I found myself walking towards Harry, Ron and Hermione with a scroll in my hand. I saw Harry's green eyes brighten as he read the contents.

"It's Dumbledore's next lesson! Monday evening! Want to join us in Hogsmeade, Ginny?" Harry asked gleefully.

I froze. Did he just ask me to go to Hogsmeade with him? Sure, Ron and Hermione were with him but it was an invitation, all the same. You're going with Dean, though, the Hermione inside my head reminded me.



"I'm going with Dean; I might see you there," I replied casually, trying to hide the disappointment.

Why did it always have to be like this? In my third year, I could have gone with Harry to the Yule Ball but I already said yes to Neville. I spend that night having to endure him treading on my feet and breaking my toes. I liked Neville but he was a terrible dancer. This year, I could have gone to Hogsmeade with Harry but I already said yes to Dean. What was it with me and boys in Harry's class?

I saw the crestfallen look in his eyes and quickly looked away. Was he finally noticing me? Hermione was giving me knowing smirks while Ron looked at Harry suspiciously. I turned away from them, walked to the Entrance Hall and saw Dean there, patiently waiting for me. I couldn't help but feel a bit sad.

Dean's a nice bloke – he's funny, charming sweet…he's perfect!

Doesn't he seem a bit drab, though? He doesn't have a certain…spark! And besides, all you say about Dean is that he's a 'nice bloke'.

What, is he meant to be fire? Even if human beings were fire, do you really think Harry has THE spark?

Harry's brave, he's kind, he's funny…and he DID save my life.

"Hey, Ginny. You ready to go?" Dean asked, smiling. I gave a weak smile in return and we soon left. He was a perfect gentleman – he held the door open for me, offered me a hand when we got off…but I knew something was missing.

"So, erm, how are you?" Dean asked as we got off the carriages.

"I'm fine, although the teachers are starting to pressure us about OWLs," I replied. I felt his hand brush against mine but I thought it was an accident. "Where are we going?"

"I was thinking about Madam Puddifoot's," said Dean, "It's a great place."

Madam Puddifoot's? I thought distastefully, It's where all the lovey-dovey couples go! Geez, he's more of a girl than I am!

He led me to the café and I looked around skeptically. It was filled with lace, frills, bows and other horrible things. Other couples sat at tiny little tables, holding hands and giving each other sickening smiles. Yeah, I'm not exactly the most couple-y person in the world.

"It's like Umbridge owns this place," I muttered darkly. Harry had told me all about his detentions with her over the summer and I inwardly shuddered.


"Nothing," I said cheerfully, "Let's find a table."

We sat next to the window and Madam Puddifoot bustled over to us.

"What would you like to drink?" she asked.

"Coffee," Dean answered, grinning.

"Butterbeer, please," I requested.

"I'm sorry, we don't have butterbeer," Madam Puddifoot replied sweetly.

"WHAT?" I exclaimed incredulously. A wizarding eating place without butterbeer? Others turned around to glare at me but I didn't care. No butterbeer? What was with this place? I suddenly wished that I was in The Three Broomsticks with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"Yes, we only have coffee and tea," she replied coldly.

"I'll have tea then," I said.

I looked at Dean and yet again, he was blushing. I must have looked like this in front of Harry four years ago.

"You look really nice today," he said shyly. I raised an eyebrow – I didn't look nice. I was wearing jeans, a Weird Sisters t-shirt with one of Mum's jumpers on top and scruffy trainers. My hair was up in its usual ponytail.

"Thanks. So do you," I said, smiling.

We chatted for a while when suddenly, I felt his hand grab mine. I looked down and back up at him. He was redder than ever and I knew that he was trying to smile. However, it looked more like a grimace. I didn't know what to do; I never held hands with that git Michael Corner. This was the first sign that Dean thought we were having a serious relationship, according to the girls in my dorm. What about Harry?

Screw Harry; you're moving on!

But you still like Harry!

Well, I can like Dean as well, can't I?

Well, what are you going to do now?

Dean's holding my hand! What can I do?

I dunno…show him that you think it's alright that he's holding it.

I squeezed Dean's hand and smiled at him reassuringly. Suddenly, the bloody Boy-Who-Lived appeared, with Ron and Hermione with him. He was across the street and he was scowling. Out of shock, I removed my hand from Dean's. I didn't want Harry to see us holding hands.

"What's wrong?" he asked, following my gaze. Then, when he saw who I was looking at, he frowned.

"Are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Harry?" Dean asked.

"Why? Are you jealous?" I teased.

"No, I just don't want to destroy something you two might have," he retorted.

"Well, there's nothing going on between Harry and me. I didn't want my brother to see us holding hands and beating you to a bloody pulp," I lied smoothly.

"Oh, okay." He seemed to be satisfied with my answer and I inwardly sighed with relief. What made him think that there was something going on between Harry and me? Sure, we were pretty close friends but nothing else was going on.

After that, Dean and I headed to Honeydukes. I welcomed the delicious smell of toffee instantly. I spotted some sugar quills and instantly bought some. I didn't see Dean for a while since it was packed with students but suddenly, he popped out of nowhere.

"I bought these for you," he said sweetly.

He held out a rose that was made out of chocolate. Normally, I would have grabbed it and swallowed it instantly but this was coming from…my boyfriend? That didn't sound right. I never thought of Michael Corner as my boyfriend and he certainly didn't buy me chocolate roses. The rose looked scrumptious and I couldn't help staring at it for a while.

"If you don't like it, I can always get you something else," said Dean hastily.

"Oh no, I love it!" I squealed, "Thanks!"

"Well, it reminded me of how sweet you are," said Dean, taking my hand. How sweet I am? He obviously hasn't talked to any of my brothers about me. 'Sweet my arse,' they'd say.

We walked back to the castle and stopped before the Fat Lady.

"I had a really good time, Ginny," said Dean, yet again smiling.

"So did I."

Then, he did something that really surprised me. He leaned down and pecked me on the lips quickly. It was over before it started.

"Leviosa," he said to the Fat Lady. The portrait swung open and we climbed in.

"Goodnight, Dean," I said before walking up the stairs to the Girls' Dormitory with a bit of a grin on my face. That was my first kiss. Although it wasn't with Harry, it was certainly enjoyable.

After Quidditch practice, I stormed up to the castle with Dean running behind me, trying to keep up.

"Ginny, wait!" he called. I curled my hands and stopped.

"You're fast," said Dean breathlessly, walking beside me.

"I'm fast when I'm angry," I said through gritted teeth.

"Are you pissed about practice?" he asked as we walked through the Entrance Hall.

"No shit, Sherlock!" I said furiously, whirling around. When I saw a hurt look cross Dean's face, I instantly softened.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to blow up at you like that. It's just…Ron's such an idiot and I just want to kill him," I ranted. He wrapped his arms around me as I lay my head on his chest. I felt his heart pumping and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Its okay, Ginny. He's just upset because of Hermione," said Dean, kissing the top of my head.

"Mmm. I don't know why, though. She didn't do anything wrong," I said sadly as we walked back to the Common Room.

"Come on. Let's take a shortcut," said Dean, grinning. He led me to this tapestry, holding my hand. It was empty. I inwardly smiled. Being with Dean gave me a sense of security that I never had with Michael Corner. Although I wasn't too fond of him when we first started going out, I grew to like him. However, my heart still started beating faster when Harry was around.

He suddenly stopped and turned around to face me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.


"Honestly, Dean, I always know when something's wrong."

"Well…I was thinking, we've been going out for a few months now…" he began.

I froze. He wasn't trying to get me to sleep with him, was he? I was barely fifteen bloody years old!

"And I think I'm ready to take our relationship to the next step," said Dean, moving towards me.

I nervously backed away from him although he didn't notice.

What the hell? Dean was always a perfect gentleman and now he's trying to get me to shag him?

As he was an inch away from me, I blurted out, "I'm not ready for sex."

Dean froze, gaping. Finally, when he moved, he said incredulously, "You thought I was talking about sex?"


"Ginny, you're fifteen. Even if you were ready, I wouldn't be," he said with an amused grin on his face.

"Heh heh…I guess I got it wrong then," I replied, laughing nervously.

"I was talking about kissing you," said Dean seriously.

I stared at him, wide-eyed. I had kissed Dean before but that was just a quick little peck. I couldn't help but feel a little bit nervous despite my confident act. Dean moved closer to me, still holding my hand. His gaze dropped to my lips and I subconsciously licked them.

What about Harry?

Merlin, will you ever shut up about Harry? Why can't I just enjoy spending some time with my boyfriend?

You can't deny it; you're in love with Harry! You can't just go off snogging other people!

I can and I will. Who cares about Harry, anyways? Geez, he was off sucking face with Cho Chang!

Are you sure you're ready to have a snog-fest with Dean?

Just as he was about to kiss me, I walked away.

"What's wrong?" asked Dean, a confused look on my face.

"I just wanted to say thanks for comforting me," I said, smiling genuinely.

"You're welcome. You're my girlfriend; of course I'd comfort you," Dean replied, moving closer again.

I stood on my tip-toes and kissed him. It was nothing like the friendly one before. I soon knew why people enjoyed snogging so much.

"Did you see Harry as he fell off his broom?" asked Dean, laughing along with McLaggen. It was after the Quidditch match against Hufflepuff. I clenched my jaw. What was McLaggen thinking? Harry was the bloody captain! How could he just beat that Bludger at him when he was the bloody Keeper? And Dean was meant to be Harry's friend!

"Shut up, Dean!" I yelled furiously. The whole Common Room turned to look at me.

"It IS funny, you have to admit it, Gin," he said, casually wrapping an arm around me. I instantly pulled away from him, scowling.

"What's wrong with your girl, mate?" McLaggen the arrogant git asked. THAT made me pissed. Did they think I was some kind of object?

"First of all," I said, rounding on McLaggen. "I'm not anyone's girl! I'm not a possession, I'm a person! And second of all, you're meant to be on Harry's team! How could you hit that Bludger at him like that! You're the stupidest, most conceited person I've ever had the misfortune to meet!"

The Common Room was silent. Everyone's eyes were on me. I could see Hermione grinning and she winked at me.

"Heh heh," said McLaggen, nudging my pathetic boyfriend. "Looks like it's the time of the month!"

I snapped right there. I swung back my arm and punched him in the face with all my might. McLaggen yelled with pain and fell to the floor, clutching his nose.

"What's wrong with you?" Dean shouted, "You just punched my friend!"

"Your friend who nearly tried to kill Harry!" I shouted back.

"Oh, it's all about Harry, isn't it?" said Dean, looking offended and hurt.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

"If you weren't going out with me, I would have thought that you weren't over him! I saw you years ago, pining over him like a pathetic little puppy! Why won't you get over him? He's not even that great!" Dean yelled unkindly.

I stared at him. How could he just say that about me? I was his bloody girlfriend! And I WAS over Harry! At least I thought I was. I was his friend! I couldn't let someone kill him and let Gryffindor lose the game! I was hurt. How could Dean just support McLaggen and insult Harry and me like that? I saw Hermione look at me worriedly out of the corner of my eye.

After that, I did something I would normally never do. I turned around, stalked to the Portrait Hole, climbed through it and slammed it behind me. Normally, I would have punched him and maybe kicked him in the nuts right there but not taday. I was fuming; everyone I passed in the corridor looked scared of me. Maybe it was because they were seeing an angry redhead who was the sister of the Weasley brothers – a curse breaker, a dragon keeper, two merciless pranksters and the boy who liked to punch whenever he could.

Where can I go? I asked myself. I realised that I hadn't seen Harry at all since McLaggen hit that Bludger towards him and headed towards the Hospital Wing. I couldn't help but feel my heart pumping again as I thought about seeing him.

"Ginny, wait!" I sighed and turned around. It was Hermione. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of my best friend with her bushy hair flying behind her.

"Are you alright?" she asked kindly.

"I'm fine," I replied weakly, "Thanks for the concern, though."

"Look, I'm sure Dean didn't mean any of that," said Hermione, shaking her head. "He was just so confused and he's got a right to be jealous of Harry. I mean, it wasn't exactly a secret when you fancied him…"

"Don't remind me," I muttered, "Apparently, I was a pathetic little puppy during my younger years. He's so…URGH! He doesn't even know what I went through in my first year!"

"I know," said Hermione, pity written all over her face. "He's a bit of an idiot, isn't he?"

"A very big one. Although not as big as Ron," I joked. We both giggled a bit although I was still very upset.

"Now, are you coming back to the Common Room?" she asked, putting an arm around my shoulder.

"Nah. I thought I might visit Harry for a bit," I said casually. Hermione peered at me suspiciously.

"You don't fancy him again, do you?" she asked.

"How can I? I'm going out with Dean, aren't I?" I said bitterly.

"Well, after that row, I'd be surprised if you still were," said Hermione with a wry smile.

"Yeah. I'd better go before Madam Pomfrey bans everyone from seeing him," I said, "See you."

"Thanks for punching McLaggen! Normally, I'd have to take points off but it was brilliant!" she called. I waved her away and headed towards the Hospital Wing. I opened the door and found Ron lying there, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Ginny. What are you doing here?" he asked, not looking away.

"I came to visit Harry," I replied, sitting by Harry's bed. I spotted his glasses on the bedside table as well as some get-well cards. I sighed; he had a bandage around his head and he was snoring peacefully.

"I can't believe McLaggen would attack his own captain," said Ron, shaking his head. "At least show him some respect."

"I know. It's horrible," I said sadly. I stared at Harry for a while, just taking in the sight of him. He looked quite different from the last time I saw him in the Hospital Wing; he was no longer pale and he looked serene.

"McLaggen's a bastard," Ron said, "I can't believe Hermione went out with him!"

"It was only for Slughorn's stupid party," I reasoned, "But yeah, he is a bastard. Dean and I just had a row about it."

"Really?" said Ron interestedly, brightening up. I rolled my eyes. "I knew he wasn't good for you. Next time, get someone better." I thought he looked at Harry for a moment before he looked at me but I brushed it off.

"Dean and I are still together, you prat. At least, I think we are," I said, frowning. Who knew what would happen after that awful fight? Would he dump me? Or would I have to dump him first?

"Well, if he hurts you again, Gin, you can just come to me," he said smugly. I smiled.

I looked back at Harry; he was still snoring.

"You know, he nearly didn't come to the game," I said to Ron.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Apparently, he saw Malfoy," I explained.

"Oh yeah, he's been a bit obsessed with Malfoy for a while now," said Ron casually, ripping open a Chocolate Frog. "Want one?"

"Yes, please." He tossed one to me and I snatched it out of the air. I savoured the yummy chocolate, closing my eyes happily. It had been a while since I had chocolate.

"Why's he been obsessed with Malfoy?" I asked my brother curiously.

Ron hesitated, chewing the frog slowly. My face fell – I knew he wouldn't tell me. It was Golden Trio information.

"You know what? Don't tell me. What did Madam Pomfrey say about Harry?"

"Cracked skull," Ron replied with a mouth full of chocolate. "Said he could go in a day or two."

"That's good," I said, nodding. Harry suddenly moaned in his sleep and turned over, still snoring. I smiled and took his hand like I did last year. He smiled again and so did I. Despite the fact that I had a major row with my boyfriend and his friend nearly killed the boy I was in love with, I felt normal for once, holding Harry's hand.

A/N: Please review! Next chapter should be up soon…