"Harry," Snape whispered into the darkness. "Yes," Harry asked. "I'm... a teenage girl," Snape said, "And I love you." "Oh, Snape, I knew it. I love you. Come here!" Harry ejaculated. Harry grabbed Snape and began to snog him. "Ewww! get off me you fag. I was kidding," Snape yelled. "I'm sorry! I just couldn't hide my true feelings any longer!" Harry cried. "That's okay, I know how you feel," Snape said comfortingly. "R-really?" Harry sobbed. "No," Snape said coldly and walked away leaving Harry to cry in the darkness. And after that night nobody ever, EVER saw Harry Potter again.
Yes, I did say that nobody ever saw Harry Potter again... But I lied! Muahaha. Well anyway here is episode two.
"Well," Hermione's dad said, "The X-rays show that you are a pregnant teenage girl." "WHAT?" Harry yelled. "Those were X-rays of my mouth!" "I know that," he daid, " They still show you are a pregnant teenage girl." "Let me see them!" Harry screamed. And there, on the x-ray of his mouth, bore a sign in his gum. Clearly printed was:
I AM A PREGNANT TEENAGE GIRL
"Oh my god! You're right!" Harry said. "I know that," Hermione's dad said. "What will I do?" Harry asked. "See a doctor, not an orthodontist." "Right, thanks... for er... nothing I guess."
"Ron!" Harry yelled finding Ron. "Oh, hi, Harry. Wut do you want?" Ron asked coldly. "I have to tell you something," Harry said. "That you and Snapey-poo are getting married?" Ron blurted. "No! I'm completely over him. I need to tell you that I'm a teenage girl. A pregnant teenage girl," Harry said. "Bloody hell! Oh my god..." Ron was speechless after those words. "And, it's your child, too," Harry said. Ron went white. "But I thought I put it in your..." Ron stopped. "Shhh! Someone might be listening. I guess I didn't know that I had one," Harry whispered. "How didn't you know?" Ron asked. "I never looked!" Harry argued. "So... wait, that means we did it doggy style... EW!" Ron said. "Hey, Harry," Hermione said entering the room. "Hi, Hermione," Harry said. "What's new?" Hermione asked. "Oh nothing. Only the fact that Harry is a teenage girl carrying my child," Ron said. "Oh my fucking god!" Hermione said and hurled all over the floor Episode #4
"Well, now you have a good reason not to go out with Ginny," Ron said. "I had one. And she might be bisexual," Harry said. "Yeah, you're right," Ron said. "Damn straight I am!" Harry yelled. "So, is it a boy or a girl?" Ron asked. "How the hell should I know! You only knocked me up two weeks ago!" Harry yelled. "Well sooorry!" Ron argued childishl. "Okay guys, I'm done barfing," Hermione said re-entering the room. "You've only been half an hour," Ron said. "Shut up, Ron," Hermione said. "I guess all this means we're not going out anymore," Ron said. "You bet your ass it does! You cheated on me for Harry and knocked him up and got him pregnant! We are totally through," Hermione said, "You can have your butt-fucking brady bunch now!" and she stormed out of the room. "And by the way," Hermione said poking her head through the door and throwing somthing at Ron, "You can have your vibrator back. I found it on my bed two weeks ago where you guys were doing it. I've been meaning to give it back."
"So, who else has been knocking you up lately?" Ron asked. Harry looked at Ron. "Oh, Ron, I was going to tell you, but all these things are just messing with my head. I'm also having an affair with Herman!" Harry burst out ashamedly. "The fucking duck?" Ron asked astonished. "Yes! Yes! The duck!" Harry cried out. "You, you're a Sheeleyist, aren't you?" Ron asked. "Could you ever forgive me?" Harry pleaded. "Oh, I don't know. It's so hard on me," Ron said. "Think about our child, and our love before this," Harry begged. "You're right. I love you," Ron said. "I could never love Sheeley, Sheeleyism, or Herman as much as you," Harry said. "Wait, did you say Sheeley?" Ron asked. "No, yes, no, maybe... yes," Harry said, "But I don't want to talk about that right now." "Fine. We'll talk about that later. But now, it's you and me time. Kiss me darling," Ron said. "Oh, Ron."