Hey their, its me Stitch. This is a weird oneshot i thought up in my spare time. This just shows you how random i am and how much i like Super Smash Bros. Melee, which is alot. So enjoy review and, umm, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Super smash Bros Melee, James Bond, Killer Toilets of doom (actually, i think nobody does)Rod Stewart, Teen Titans, Barney or anything else.

Claimer: I do own Myself, Dogons, and Roary the Raptor.


It was a perfectly normal day for the smashers. Everything was peaceful, until someone threw a Mr. Saturn through the window. A frantic, crying Ness came running into the Mansion to what was left of the small creature.


"Dude, it's a Mr. Saturn." Pikachu said.

"But he's MY Mr. Saturn!" Ness cried, "He was special!"

"Get a life, loser, he's dead, live with it." Pikachu said, slapping him.



Ness continued to cry until the Mr. Saturn reincarnated back into his Mr. Saturn self, except it was now a rabid undead zombie.

"Yay!" Ness said hugging it.

" Gahhhh! Rabid undead Mr. Saturn zombie, kill it kill it!" Captain Falcon screamed, whacking him with a hammer. The little creature flew through the window in which it came.

Ness started to cry again.

"Shut up." C. Falcon told him, kicking him in the groin. "Nobody likes you."

Ness, totally unaware the he kicked him, continued crying.

Somewhere in the mansion, Bowser was playing cards with Mario. Eying him suspicially, Bowser placed his final card down, as did Mario. Bowser's card was a queen and Mario's was an ace.

"Wahoo! I won the war! Pay up you fat loser!" Mario boasted. This made bowser sorta angry, and decided to throw Mario out the window. So he did. And happened to land on Mewtwo who was relaxing. Angrily Mewtwo faced the Italian plumber and threw him into a garden in the back of the mansion. He then got chewed up by the rabid undead Mr. Saturn zombie. And so Mario died. But he still had two lives left so he reincarnated somewhere else. Crap, I wish I could do that.

In the giant living room, Falco and Fox were enjoying some good T.V. As they were watching, they complained how sucky their weapons are.

"Man, my gun sucks." Fox complained "It does nothing good."

"Well at least my gun makes my opponents flinch." Falco bragging. Fox angrily looked at him.

"OK, mine sucks too."

Just then, The James Bond theme started and Bond himself crashed through the wall.

"The names Bond, James Bond." He told them, unaware he was in the wrong game. Fox and Falco didn't care; they were eying his AT-600 Scorpion Rocket Launcher.

"Get him, hes got a freaken cool gun!" Fox yelled as they attacked the famed secret agent. After minutes of explosions and other crappy moves, James Bond lay dead on the ground, with Fox and Falco both holding the rocket launcher.

"You're in the wrong game freak." Pikachu said as he walked past, unaware of his friend's new guns and the millions of dollars in property damage. But by then Bond had disappeared and reincarnated back into his own game.

"Crap," he said looking at the pistol in his hand, "I lost my guns to a dog and a chicken! They shall pay!" But he then got shot and died by a snow guard. Man I hate those guys.

It the kitchen, Yoshi and Kirby were having an eating match, with Pichu as the referee.

"Looks like Kirby is in the lead folks with nine plates eaten, Yoshi, struggling behind has only eaten three. You may ask why, because he has to fart out everything he eats." Pichu announced.

"O shut up." Yoshi growled, trying to eat as fast as he can. Kirby on the other hand, just sucked everything into his mouth happily. All of a sudden, they were attacked by Killer Toilets Of Doom! They screamed. Kirby, tried to suck up the enemies as usual but quickly spit them out.

"Man, those guys taste like crap!" He complained.

"Leave it up to me, dude!" Yoshi told him. He then ate a nearby plate of beans and farted so bad, it killed the Killer Toilets Of Doom, and everything in five mile ratios. Except the smashers, they were wearing gas masks.

"You suck." Pikachu said, walking past with a huge gas mask on.

Somewhere else in the mansion, Zelda and Peach were talking about…stuff. I really don't know what they were talking about, but just think of something for them to. All of a sudden, out pops Rod Stewart! And he was singing Maggie May, very loudly. Peach and Zelda were disgusted, because he sucks, so they asked him to leave. But then he sang some other crappy song and they got really angry. Because he is not a good singer, to me anyway. So Peach hit him with her golf club really hard.

"Fore!" she yelled as he hit the wall. But he just kept singing.

"Leave it to me." Zelda told her as she hit him with Din's Fire. And Rod caught on fire, but kept singing! They screamed. Angrily, Zelda transformed into Sheik and whipped him with her chain thing. He somehow got electrocuted and fell to the ground. Pikachu came by and used thunder on him.

"Jerk." He said before running off.

In a small area behind the mansion, Roy Link, and Marth were sword fighting. Marth and Roy started yelling at Link, but because they don't speak English, he ignored them.

"Shut up already, you don't speak English so stop complaining!" Link yelled. Just then, he got poked in the shoulder and fell in pain, even though they just poked him. They laughed.

"Ha-ha, look how weak little Link is, I beat you can't even beat Young Link at sword fighting." laughed Marth.

Link looked at them amazed because he thought they only spoke another language. Soon, Young Link and Gannondorf came out of the bushes and attacked Link. Surprised, Link used his spin attack and they fell away from him.

Link laughed. Until they came back and poked him. He fell down in pain. But suddenly, a mega mushroom fell from the sky and turned Link giant! So he started stepping on everyone. Hard. After his stop fest, he peeled his former comrades from his shoe. And then some random dog peed on him and started melting. He screamed until he was just a green puddle. They looked at him and walked away.

At the tennis court, Popo and Nana were playing tennis. With D.K as the ball. Samus and Luigi were watching on the sidelines.

"Don't you think we should get him out of their?" Luigi asked.

"No." Samus said, sipping her soda. "Watching him suffer is fun."

So they continued watching the giant ape being whacked around by two kids wielding hammers. Just then, Monsieur Mallah from Teen Titans appeared and attacked the ice climbers!

"Get away from my friend!" He yelled in his very annoying voice.

"That's your friend?" asked a surprised Nana. D.K shrugged. Just then, the Teen Titans popped out of the bushes and started attacking D.K

"Stop attacking famous primates you stupid monkey!" Robin yelled.

"Umm, I think you got the wrong monkey." Samus said, pointing to their evil monkey who was now smacking the ice climbers around with a hammer.

"Umm, sorry." Robin said, putting D.K down. He growled and ran off. Then they started attacking the stupid evil talking ape with a machine gun and won. But with a price of twenty dollars because D.K was very angry for them attacking him.

"Well, their goes twenty bucks." BeastBoy said sadly.

"O shut up." Raven slapped him.

"OK, that was random" Luigi turned to Samus, who got up to get a refill.

"Yea, but not as weird as when Bowser got a rapping contract with Barney."

Inside the mansion, Dr. Mario and Jigglypuff were watching soap operas, and crying very hard. DR. Mario finally turned to Jigglypuff when it was over.

"It sucks when they don't tell you what happens at the end."

"Yea it does." She blew her nose in a tissue. All of a sudden, a strange noise came from outside. They looked out their window to see Mario finally reincarnate.

"Finally," Dr. Mario looked at his watch, "Took him ten minutes." Just then, Mario tripped over his own shoelace and fell into quicksand. They looked at each other and continued watching T.V. Just then another noise came into play. They again looked outside. It was an army of rabid undead zombie Mr. Saturns!

"Were did all those come from?" asked Jigglypuff. She turned and saw Ness's original Mr. Saturn, and he was multiplying!

"Umm, I have a feeling were gonna be under attack." They watched the rabid undead Mr. Saturn zombie army slowly trudge closer to the mansion.

"Quick, let's get the others and use crappy moves on them and hopefully win!" Dr. Mario said and they left the room. And unfortunately trip and fall down ten flights of stairs. As they reached to bottom, Dr. Mario waddled to the speakers and yelled.

"Were freaken under attack people! Get to the freaken kitchen immediately!"

Soon, the whole super smash bros gang had appeared. Bowser growled under his breath and spoke.

"And you interrupted me and Mewtwo's training for what?" Bowser pointed to Mewtwo holding a very scared and sorta rounded looking Mario.

"Were being under attack by Ness's rabid undead Mr. Saturn zombie AND his army." Dr. Mario got an ice pack from the ice climbers and put it on his head.

Just then, Ness started crying and Pikachu locked him in the closet.

"Hey, we can just GIVE them Ness and maybe they will all stop bothering us." Pikachu said. Everyone agreed, because it's safe to say that nobody liked Ness. Also the fact that he's locked in a closet at the moment too.

"We can't do that, he's the only one here who cleans up after us anyway." Captian Falcon smiled, remembering the time he hired him.


"Captain Falcon, your room is a mess, can't you clean it up?"

"Ill give ya five bucks an hour."


End Flashback.

"That kid doesn't know much about fair pay." Captain Falcon got up. Everyone agreed.

Just then, Mr. Game and Watch started to speak. But annoyingly enough, he only speaks in beeps. Annoyed, Bowser then flung him out the window.

"Lets fight, I need to try out this gun here." Fox looked at Falco. Everyone thought that fighting them was a great idea. So they left for their backyard.

They were pretty freaked out seeing how many rabid undead Mr. Saturn zombies were in their back yard. But the grabbed their bravery, and tacos, and started the battle.

Just then, James Bond, Teen Titans,Rod Stewart,Barney, and the killer toilets of doom appeared out of nowhere. And Mario finally reincarnated back again.

"Were gonna help you, just because I want my guns back." Bond told them.

"Yea and our twenty bucks!" Yelled Cyborg.

So the fight commenced. After about three minutes, they were running out of lives.

"Noo! We can't lose now! We need backup!" Just then, I appear!

"I'll help you!" I said and turned into a Dogon.

"Um, how can you do that?" asked Kirby.

"I don't really know, but its cool!" I laughed and started attacking, "Let me just call a friend." Just then appearing out of nowhere was Roary the Raptor! And all his prehistoric raptoryness! He roared and ate all the nearby Mr. Saturns.

"Good boy." I told him. After a seemingly long battle of ten minutes, yea I know I'm lazy, they were victorious. They all cheered and suddenly the ground shook. And out popped Master Hand and Crazy Hand!

"Why did you destroy our beloved pets?" they asked.

"Hey, those were MY rabid undead Mr. Saturn zombies!" Ness yelled, who apparently got out of the locked closet. He ran up to James Bond and took his AT-600 Scorpion Rocket Launcher.

"Give that back! I already lost two from your freaky friends over their!" He yelled. But Ness, didn't hear him.

"Say hello to my little friend!" Ness shouted as he shot the rocket launcher at them and they blew up in little sucky fabric pieces. Happily, Roary ate every little piece. Everyone cheered. As everyone left, I snuck to the back of the mansion and handed Giga Bowser Fifty bucks.

"You're freaken lucky that I'm given ya this much," I told him, "One almost bit me!" He laughed.

"Don't worry, you got your crappy share of the deal, you get a good fanfic and the ability to morph, and I get my fifty bucks and to try out my rabid undead zombie ray." He took the money.

"Thanks," I told him and turned around, "And nobody suspected…" Everyone was staring at me, angry.

"…….Bye!" I said and ran away.

"Get her!" screamed Pikachu and ran after me.

Haha, you didn't know it was going to end up with me running away from the smashers huh. Too bad i can't morph, cause that would be cool. O well, hopefully you enjoyed this, and i might make another chapter if i get enough reviews. But if not, check out my original story, WHEN THE TEEN TITANS MEET STITCH. See ya.