That Night, in the Hotel Room

By sadieko

Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine and I don't make money of off it.

Warning: NaruSasu kissing, overused plot cliché.

Edit: formating issues fixed, THANK YOU ASKERIAN

Crits, Comments, and overripe fruit thrown at high velocity always appreciated.

It was a narrow, stale smelling hotel room with water stains on the walls and a closet that wouldn't close all the way. The cost had been a few ryu and the return was a slightly moldy futon and an attendant who didn't ask questions. A perfect place to lie low for a couple nights and avoid trouble.

Assuming you hadn't been stupid enough to lead it straight to you.

"Brain damaged, moronic, loud mouthed, no good---"

"Hey, hey, shut up already!" Naruto whispered furiously, elbowing Sasuke in the shoulder as the other boy gathered up their scattered supplies. "You're going to bring them right here!"

Sasuke stuffed the last stray shirt into his sack and gave Naruto a flat look. He hadn't been the one to knock over a display stand and get too caught up in arguing with the stall owner to notice that they'd attracted attention they didn't want. Or the one who, in an attempt to lose their pursuers, actually got themselves lost and then ran into said pursuers while trying to figure out where they were.

He hefted a water jug and considered beating Naruto senseless with it and leaving the body to cover his escape route.

Naruto, who had his ear pressed against the wall, missed the look and the danger to his well-being entirely.

"Shit, they're on the stairs," he said, face screwed up with concentration as he tried to hear their enemies over the sound of the neighbors getting it on. His eyes suddenly went wide and Sasuke knew Naruto had gotten an idea he was going to hate. "Hurry Sasuke, moan or something."

"What." Surely the jug couldn't do more damage to his brain than had already been done.

"Moan!" Naruto insisted, turning toward Sasuke and gesturing urgently, "Pretend we're having sex, that'll throw them off the trail."

Sasuke stared. "No. It won't."

"Yes it will! It's brilliant," Naruto said, and proceeded to show Sasuke how it was done by letting out a deep, growling moan; the sort that would send shivers up any red-blooded person's spine. Sasuke nearly dropped the water jug on his foot.

It figured that this was the one thing Naruto could act out competently.

There was no way Sasuke was doing this. He'd rather fight the dozen or so opponents heading toward them then pretend to – very loudly – have sex with this twit. It wasn't going to happen. Not now. Not ever.


"Come on," Naruto hissed, adding an "Oh yeah baby, just like that!" and another moan for effect.

Sasuke grit his teeth together and calculated how long it would take him to claw his way out through the paper thin walls. "No."

They scowled at each other as the squeaky board at the end of the hall made a faint creak.

"Fine." Naruto spit out finally, a tremor of anger and frustration in his bottom lip. "I'll just pretend I'm getting h-head."

...oh hell no.

Drawing up straight and telling himself that he was answering a challenge, not making an complete idiot of himself, Sasuke produced a sound almost, but not quite, like that of man suffering from a kidney stone.

For a moment, Naruto seemed completely flabbergasted.

Then, franticly; "No, no, higher Sasuke, higher. Damnit," he clarified, when Sasuke continued to glare silently, "Be the woman!"



"Your voice is higher than mine," Sasuke snarled quietly, unable to believe that five minutes from possible disembowelment they were arguing about something like this. He made sure his weapons were in reach. "You be the woman."

"I – arrrgh!"

And with that scant warning, Naruto crossed the few feet separating them, covered the tender skin at the base of Sasuke neck with his mouth, and shoved his hand up the other boy's shirt. One brush of callous roughened fingers over a sensitive nipple and a hungry suck at his throat, and Sasuke let out a keening wail that would do any ravished princess proud.

The back of his head actually hit wall as the fiery rush he usually felt when fighting with Naruto became that much worse from having its source pressed up tight against him. Naruto made an odd little noise, as if that hadn't been the reaction he was expecting, and sucked again, wetly, fingers tracing out circles on Sasuke's chest.

"St-stop," Sasuke gasped breathlessly – out of anger, anger -- hands gripping and tightening on Naruto's shoulders, "Asshole, ge – naa, mmm – " Sasuke pressed his lips together, horrified at the desperate little whimpers that escaped as Naruto's mouth moved from his neck to just under his ear.

"They're going past our door," Naruto whispered, hot breath on the shell of Sasuke's ear, "Make--make that noise again." He was shaking, Sasuke realized, why the fuck was he shaking?

"Screw yo—"

Naruto rocked his hips and Sasuke proceeded to make that noise again.

When he could breathe once more, Sasuke distinctly heard the sound of feet tromping down the hall and away from them over Naruto's panting. He relaxed subtly and then, remembering what just happened, turned white with mortification.

"You-!" He kicked Naruto away from him, livid with – with – with so many emotions he couldn't identify just one.

Naruto looked just as conflicted as he was, just as ready to start a fight. "Hey, I saved our—"

And that's when the door flew open and their enemies charged in after them.