A/N I have been a BIG Buffy fan from the very beginning. I loved every episode and Season. I felt the show ended with a lot of un answered questions. Joss was unable to give me my happy ending. So I decided to share how I would have like things to be. I have had this for a while and decided to post it. Hope you enjoy it

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Bill is my character!

Chapter 1

"So are we going to do this or not" Buffy asked Spike as she pulled her honey blond hair into a ponytail. Spike who was stretched out in a chair groaned as he stood up.

"Don't get you knickers in a twist pet," he said as he took off his jacket. Friendship was forgotten as they circled each other. Giles who was working in the other room came to see what the ruckus was all about. He watched his slayer in battle moving gracefully. Buffy moved gracefully kicking, punching and blocking, Spikes advancing attack. Dancing, Giles thought to himself as he left the room she looks like she is dancing.

Buffy blocked a punch from Spike and swept his legs out from beneath him sending him sprawling to the floor. Quickly she was on top of him pinning him to the floor.

"Uncle come on say uncle" Buffy laughed.

"Bloody hell you're a dirty fighter Slayer" Spike mumbled beneath

At that Buffy let him up and walked over to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. Spike on the other hand plopped himself back down on the sofa looking for his cigarettes. Slayer he thought to himself. Never in a million year would he have thought he would befriend a Slayer, but he did he admired her strength and spirit. She helped him when those solider boys put the bleeding chip in his head rendering him helpless and an outcast among his kind. Their friendship bloomed over time and soon he was one of gang. His little witch help with a spell allowing him to fight and walk in the light of day but not feed on other human. He could live with that.

Buffy pulled her hair lose and glanced at Spike he was a good friend always there when she need him whether it be a hug or a kick in the ass. He was there to help her deal when Angel had left Angel she thought her breath catching in her throat a dull aching pain shot threw her heart just at the thought of him. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, walking over to Spike who was now lighting a smoke. She reached for it and plucked it from his fingers and broke it in two.

"Hello standing right here. Do we have to have this conversation again?" she asked crossing her arms.

"Hey" he yelled getting to his feet. "Those things are expensive I won't forget this". He ranted walking a way from her.

As those words were spoken a little door unlocked in Buffy's mind I'll never forget" the emotion hit her so hard she fell to the floor the noise her palms made as they slapped the marble floor echoed off the walls. Her breathing became ragged as images flooded her mind, Angel in the sunlight kissing her, Ice cream and kisses love making all over his apartment. Spike who had seen her fall to her knees was at her side calling her name. Not getting any response from Buffy began to yell for Giles franticly.

Giles came running at once he stopped seeing Buffy on the floor trembling watching the sweat soaked through her clothes.

"Buffy " he whispered afraid to touch her falling next to her. He looked at Spike

"What did you do?" he asked causing Spike glared at him

"Nothing " he went on to explain what happened, but he stopped in mid sentence he smelt blood looking at Buffy he could see droplets forming a small puddle between her hands.

Buffy struggled to get air in her burning lung Angel human feeling his heart beat not enough time I'll never forget, I'll never forget" the memories came rushing back to her. Spike who had just about enough reached a hand out to her when his cool finger touched her feverish skin the memories that clutched her were


Buffy slowly raised her head; Giles noticed her nose was bleeding

"His heart I felt his heart beating" she mumbled over and over, Giles ran to get her towel.

Spike was confused and worried so he gently murmured "Buffy what is it?"

She cut him off with a sob "Angel I felt his heart beat " she cried hysterically.

Spike gathered her in his arms trying to comfort his friend. "I felt his heart beat," she cried and with that thought Buffy went slack in his arms.

He picked her up and walked her into the bedroom and gently put her down. Giles came in and began to wipe her face.

"What is she talking about" he asked Spike who stood up walking out of the room.

"I not sure but I will bloody well find out. Keep her here" he called out over his shoulder.

Spike made his way to Willows he walked in to their apartment. She smiled when he walking in to the bedroom

"Hi babe" she said smiling up at him from her place on the floor. Looking at his expression she asked.

"What is it?" he filled Willow in on what happened. She shook her head

" I just new something was different when she came back from LA" with those words Willow walked into their bed room a few minutes later she came back into the room with her diary showing it to Spike he read her passage about Buffy's return.

"Her energy seemed off I just chalked it up to stress" she stated sitting down on the sofa. Her legs felt weak.

"Oh Spike what are we going to do?" she gasped her hand on her throat.

The phone rang causing them to jump. Spike reached for the phone on its third ring, he listened for a moment and quickly spoke to Willow who was know standing next to him.

"Giles said that she's awake and packing for LA we had better get over there"

Spike waited for Willow to grab her coat and purse then they both left heading back over to Buffy's house.

Upon entering Buffy's house Willow and Spike heard Buffy yelling at Giles

"Listen I can't explain this right now. I need you to just trust me I know what I remember is real and I am going Giles" Buffy voice was full of emotion almost pleading for him to understand.

" Buffy you haven't seen Angel in four years". Giles started just for Buffy to cut him off.

"Giles please try to understand I felt his heart beat" her voice broke Willow rushed into the room hugging Buffy.

"Are you alright how can we help" She asked holding her tight.

Buffy smile was a watery one " Can I borrow your car? I need to go to LA my jeep is still in the shop I can't explain it Will"

Willow shook her head "I believe you" was all she said, " Take the car no wait we'll drive you"

Buffy nodded her head grabbing her bag off the bed she walked into the living room picked up the phone.

"Hi Bill Buffy here can you cover my class for me tomorrow I have to leave town for a day or so" she waited and said "Thanks I owe you one" she hung up the phone and said " Lets go." They all piled into the car and started out towards LA.

Angel felt that familiar tingle pass down his spine Buffy he thought no it can not be God how he missed her his love for her grew with each passing day. She had turned into a beautiful woman ever so often he would drive to Sunnydale to see her from the shadows of course four years it seemed like an eternity since he held her in his arms. No he thought she had her own life. A life without him. He forced him self to concentrate on the file before him going back to work.

From where he sat he heard the door chime jiggle and Cordy's happy greeting "Welcome to" here words trailed off " Oh God Buffy it is so good to see you"

Angel walked into the reception area to see Cordy gathering Buffy up in her arms happiness written all over her face. Buffy returned her embrace.

" I've misses you to Cordy how is Doyle and the baby" was Buffy's response.

Before Cordy could answer she saw Buffy's smile drop and her eye's fill with pain Cordy stepped back allowing Angel full view on his beloved.

"Buffy" he went to say more but was cut off.

" I remember," she said as she walked over to him placing her hand just above his chest it hovered there. She was almost afraid to touch him.

"I felt your heart beat" Buffy whispered. Spike, Willow and Cordy pulled themselves back watching. Angel became aware of the people in his office he focused on Willow anything not to meet Buffy's tortured look

" Willow how are... Spike what are you doing here". He asked glaring at the blond.

Buffy answered gazing at his face, "Spike is with me, Answer me is it true?"

Angle hung his head in defeat he closed his eyes before responding.

"Yes it's true" he went on to explain. Buy the time he was done Buffy was completely white.

"How could you" she started but was interrupted by Angel

"You were never suppose to remember," he said softly.

Buffy shot daggers at him with her eyes, pain and anger washed over her causing her to her yelled.

"How dare you take that choice away from me? Just who do you think you are?"

"Buffy you would have been killed" Angel said trying to gather her in his arms trying to absorb the pain flowing her body.

"No do not touch me do not ever touch me again or so help me God I will kill you," She whispered as she tried to blink away the gathering tears.

Angel took a step back from her "Buffy. Please you know how much I love you" he tried again to reach her.

At those words Buffy doubled over emptying her stomach into Cordy wastebasket instantly Spike and Willow were at her side.

"Slayer" Spike asked "you all right" his hands rubbing her back.

Buffy clutched his arm for support she turned her gaze once more to Angel who was standing very still eyeing Spike.

"Why" she pleaded finally finding her voice.

"Buffy I did it to protect you; you were never to remember, Buffy you were my whole world can't you see that" he pleaded.

Cordy choose that moment to step from the shadow her face pained for her friends.

Softly she whispered. "Angel tell her"

"Cordy stay out of this" he growled not looking at her.

Buffy moved in between them both her eyes going to Cordy then to Angel.

"There is more? What?" Buffy asked almost afraid to hear what they had to say.

Cordy waited for Angel to reply when he remained silent she hung her head and whispered. "He is human"

The earth fell away from Buffy she hit the floor hard she looked up at Angel betrayal flashing in her eyes.

"Human" she cried, " How can he be human. How long.. When?" Buffy asked no emotion in her voice. Her mind raced over her newfound memories and was unable to put it together.

Angel knelt down besides her drawings in a ragged breathe softly said. "Two years. I have been human for two years."

Buffy was on her feet at once Angel stood just in enough time to have his face collide with Buffy's fist knocking him off his feet rage flowing through her body giving her the strength she need. Just at that moment Darla walked in to the office from the door that connected onto his apartment

"Angel love are you ready to go" her words trailed off in mid sentence. All eyes were on Darla, before anyone could blink Buffy had her pined up against the door with a stake held in her hand.

"Buffy NO" Angel yelled putting himself between the two of them.

" Angel what is going on" Darla asked with fear in her voice.

Spike stepped forward shock clearly expressed on his handsome face.

"What is bloody hell is going on here?" he asked.

Angel hung is head and could not believe what was happening. He took a deep breath and said.

" She is human it's a long story" he said running his hand threw his hair.

Buffy pulled away like she had been burned memories of Faith danced in her mind she backed right into Willow who clutched at her hand.

"It's nice to see something's never change," she said to no one in particular.

Talking a deep breath Buffy turned to Cordy "Can you recommend a place to stay tonight?"

Cordy just knobbed her head; her heart breaking for her two friends.

"You all can stay with me tonight" she said with a quick look to Angel who nodded his head in agreement

Buffy took one more look at Angel almost burning his image in to her mind and said.

"Last time we met I told you that I had found someone that I could love and trust and depend on" she placed a hand on her for forehead as she hung her head.

Angel took in her defeated look wanting nothing more than to comfort her but he knew now was not the time or place.

"But that was a lie because it didn't matter who I was with you still held my heart and soul" Buffy's gaze fixed on Darla who was standing in the circle of his embrace causing such pain in her heart it robbed her of her breath.

" I tried to move on lead a normal life, the life you thought I so rightly deserved but life doesn't work out that way. You see because I was never a normal girl, you held my heart and my soul. When you left you took those things with you, but no more because I take back those things I gave you. I don't need you anymore I don't love you anymore."

Buffy had to stop as emotions flood her system she fought for control, once they were in check she continued.

"The first time I said those words to you they were a lie but know you are as dead to me as the day I sent you to hell" Buffy heart screamed as the lies poured from her mouth but she could not stop them. She wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt her.

Turning toward Spike and Willow who was still holding her hand, Buffy noticed she too had tears flowing from her eyes as well feeling her friend's pain.

"Spike, Willow I am ready to leave know" and with those words she walked out of his office.

If it were not for the support of both Spike and Willow she would be a heap on the floor. Cordy watched her friend walk out of the office.

"Angel I'm so sorry" she started but he shook his head.

"No Cordy it is not your fault you did what you thought you had to. Please just take care of her until I can work this out" Cordy nodded and walked out of the office.

Spike was standing by the car when he saw Cordy he waked towards her lighting a cigarette.

"We will follow you love" he smiled and climb in behind the wheel Cordy saw Willow in the back seat with Buffy who looked stone cold almost frozen she walked to her car.

"This is going to be a long night" she sighed