Author's Note: Well, this is it. The University of Amity Park. My first full-length story! I warn you, it will be a slow updater, but there should be a new chapter every month or so.
Disclaimer: For added legal whooswat, I do not own Danny Phantom or the concept of Fanfiction University. Butch Hartman and Miss Cam do, respectively. This will not be repeated in further chapters.
Chapter One: A Girl & A Ghost
Emberlynn was a genius.
Well, at least she thought so. After many hours of tirelessly wracking her brain, she had figured out how she would write the next chapter of her story. And she was going to write it now. It was three AM, but she didn't really care; she was a genius and she couldn't wait to share it with the world.
Emberlynn wasn't her real name, but as her username was "Emberlynn Fenten", that was what she called herself. And yes, that was supposed to be spelled "Fenten". It was important to the plot. At least, that's what she claimed in her user lookup.
Her name, though, was the last thing on her mind as she flipped on her computer screen. Her WordPad document was up already -- she never turned it off. This story was her pride and joy, and she was not going to close it down until she had finished it.
Eagerly, she began to type. It was the crucial scene -- when her character Emberlynn - golly, she loved that name - would stumble into the Fenton's basement, have a nasty accident, and become a halfa. After all, the Fenton Portal was the only way to do it. Any other way meant that the character was going to be a villain.
"Danny? You in here?" Emberlynn called as she looked around the room. Danny should be here, he'd invited her to come. Where was he?
The real Emberlynn laughed to herself. Danny was fighting another ghost, but her character didn't know that. And, after she became a halfa herself, she'd have to rescue Danny, because the ghost in question was uber-powerful.
Suddenly a staircase caught her eye. She walked over to it and looked down, seeing that it went down into some kind of basement. Maybe he was down there. "Danny?" she called, placing a foot down onto the first step. Aprehension swept over her. She probably shouldn't be going down there. But Danny wasn't anywhere else, unless asleep in his room (A/N: She wouldn't look in there! Gross!) so maybe he was down here.
She continued down the stairway, one hand on the wall as it got too dark to see where her feet were landing. At last she hit the bottom, right when her hand hit a lightswich. She flipped it on and gasped as the room was bathed in white-yellow light. It was filled - absolutely filled! - with all manner of weird stuff. Regular basment stuff, but in wierd colors.
Danny wasn't here, but she didn't care anymore. Something had caught her eye at the far end of the room. It was some kind of big metal circle with a black and yellow door in the middle. (A/N Doesn't it look like the Stargate?) Wondering what kind of weird thing it was, she walked toward it. Looking close, she could see a cord ran from the ring to a plug in the wall. An extention cord. Probably to provide power.
"I wonder what it is," she said aloud as she aproached the object. There was a big button on it. Curios she pushed the button. The door popped open to reveal... nothing. "Too bad," she said.
Emberlynn paused for a moment. Now it was getting to the good bit. The character Emberlynn would find a button marked "On" on the inside of the portal and push it, triggering the inevitable reaction that would fuse her DNA with ectoplasm. She'd get to describe the character's outfit again (no way Emberlynn would be caught dead in a dorky suit; she was wearing fashionable clothes which would look way cooler once the colors were inverted), and then in a fit of panic and amazement the girl would head off to find and show Danny, discovering her awesome red-level powers and saving his life all in one hour. Then Vlad would find out about her powers and force her to join him to hunt Danny. Angst, of course, would ensue. Things like this made Emberlynn happy.
The sudden loud noise combined quite well with the late hour and horrible stench, startling Emberlynn off her chair and onto her bedroom floor with a loud and painful thud.
Then there was nothing. Well, there was a lingering odor, which somehow reminded her of sick stomach acid, but nothing else. She must have imagined it.
"Oof," she grunted, shoving one hand into the carpet and thrusting herself upward -- only to fall down again, as her legs were entangled in her chair. So she yanked those particular limbs from that particular piece of furniture - causing the rest of her to hit the floor - and shoved herself upright.
The sight that met her eyes was almost enough to make her fall again, but as one arm was still functioning as a live pillar she managed to remain mostly upright.
It was a ghost. Not the sort of ghost she would normally expect, either, but a sort of long, whitish ghost whose eyes seemed to sneer almost as evilly as his mouth.
"Hello, Emily," the ghost greeted evilly, waving one hand.
"Emberlynn," she corrected.
He ignored her. "It is my exceeding pleasure to inform you that, in light of that ridiculous piece of crap you call a fanfic, your fanfiction license-" the last two words he lingered on with a diabolical flair "-has been-" he leaned toward her, pulling out several sheets of paper from nowhere in particular "-revoked." He practically exhaled the last word, blowing a horrible stink in her face.
"What's this?" she wondered aloud, reaching for the papers. In the dim light from her monitor, the only letters she could make out were in the header. These read, plain and simply, "Official Fanfiction University of Amity Park."
"Read the letter," he stenched, releasing the papers into her grasp. Then, in an odious "pop", the ghost known as Stinky vanished. The only hint that he'd ever been in the room was a lingering foul odor.
"The Official Fanfiction University of Amity Park?" she questioned aloud, mostly to reassure herself that that was indeed what she'd just read. Examination of the papers revealed that they were stapled together at more points than paper should be allowed. She leafed through them briefly, marvelling somewhat at the fact that they managed to open easily despite the presence of secure fastenings on at least six sides of the four-sided sheets. The print was too small to be read in the darkness, however.
Well, now her curiosity was piqued. And at three AM, that wasn't neccesarily a good thing. Grumbling incoherently (her brain was much too foozled to come up with more than nonsense), she stood up, reached above her head and groped about for a moment. There was no point in looking -- her bedroom had a nasty habit of being far too dark to see. At last, she grasped the ceiling-light chain and tugged on it, causing bright and painful light to flood its way into her eyes.
"Ow!" she exclaimed quietly, but focused her attention on the papers in hand. What kind of idiot dropped into your house at three in the morning to give you a letter, anyway? It was... disgruntling, to say the least. Oh, well, best find out what it's all about. Then I can finish my story.
"The Official Fanfiction University of Amity Park," she said again, mostly for good measure. "Congratulations, or not, on being chosen for the blah blah blah. If you are reading this, it means that, blah blah blah, you have had your fanfiction license - and and with it your writing priveledges - revoked. Unless on the unlikely chance-" she skimmed through the next part "-blah blah blah, in which case you should thank your lucky stars. However, if you actively write blah blah blah, then this is for you."
She frowned. "How special."
"The process to be followed is simple. You will fill out the entrance form-" Dang, there's a form? "-attached to this letter and lay it at the foot of your bed for easy location. Whatever. A member of OFUAP will pick it (and you) up and bring you to the University for blah blah blah. Once you have been processed, you will spend a day in orientation and begin classes on Monday. As this is not a regular school, you will not be taught regular classes. Instead, you willl be learning important aspects of good fanfiction."
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
"Classes will run five days per week. On Saturday and Sunday, blah blah blah long as it does not involve violating the Codes or leaving University grounds. There will also be a week-long break in each semester (there are three, well, duh), during which you will be allowed to explore Amity Park, and various holidays on appropriate dates. Your birthday, however, will not be acknowledged. How sweet of them. You will blah blah learning to write fanfiction or playing..."
She blinked. Surely she'd read that wrong. "...Ghost iguana dodgeball?"
"As stated in the Codes, blah blah blah, having nothing better to do, Fatso, Stinky and Stretch of Casper? Have volunteered their services as staff section security, as Skulker is far too busy maintaining the torture chamber. At the end of the school year, if you have succeeded in passing the neccesary courses, you will be reissued your fanfiction license and returned to your reality in exactly the same time, place and state as you left it. Classes will be taught by various characters from the blah blah blah."
That was the end of the letter, so she turned the page. Across the top of this one was marked "The Twelve Codes of OFUAP."
"One: Learn through pain," she read aloud. "Two: Attraction is acceptable, lust is not. Yeah, whatever. Three: Beware Samuel the Flayer, for he eats your lusty dreams. Four: Do not underestimate ghost iguanas. Well, if they're anything like real iguanas... Five: Neither Desiree nor Miss Miktayee have a sense of humor, except in accordance with Miss Morgan. Six: Miss Morgan's full name is not Morgan LeFay. Seven: Many of the staff have superpowers. Those who don't, report directly who those who do. Eight: Every class has a purpose. Nine: It is not our duty to know the Headmaster. Ten: No one shall enter the staff section without written permission from Miss Morgan or unless accompanied by a staff member. Eleven: If you can outmaneuver Stretch and withstand Stinky's breath, Fatso will eat you. Twelve: None shall write fanfiction unless directed to do so by a teacher."
Emberlynn blinked stupidly, then reread the page for good measure. Who the heck was Samuel the Flayer? Turning the page again, she found a pencil affixed below the header "OFUAP Entrance Form". On the page proper she could see what she considered to be a buttload of questions. Maybe I should go to bed, she mused. I'm probably not reading this right.
But then the rotten-acid smell picked up again, and she sighed. Well, no way she was standing up to do this. She sat down on her bed, found a nearby book to set the paper on, and after some wrestling removed the pencil from the page.
"Hmm... Warning: Read through and read fine print before you begin! Ah, whatever. I'll just read the fine print as I go." Collecting what was left of her brain cells, she began to fill out the form. "Name, Emberlynn Fenten. Age in years..." Her character age, or her age? After a bit of deliberation, she wrote "fourteen". Sure, she was a good few years older, but all the kids in the show were fourteen. "Sex, M/F/A... what's A? F. Alignment, circle one, good, evil, neutral, other. Good. Species, circle one, human, halfa, ghost, other." This took absolutely no brainpower. "Halfa." Her character was, and who in their right mind wouldn't be?
Then she noticed the fine print. "Note: the application staff, i.e. Desiree and Miss Miktayee, do not have a sense of humor blah blah blah. If you are not your selected species, you will be upon your arrival. Pff. Yeah right."
Now the questions. "Do you know what a Mary-Sue is?" Duh. Of course. Mary-Sues were characters who were perfect in every way. "If so, have you ever written one?" No. Her character had flaws. She wasn't the prettiest girl in the world, after all. "Regardless, blah blah blah was a Mary-Sue? No. Do you have any pets?"
Did dustbunnies qualify as pets? "No."
"Any personal belongings you would like to bring to OFUAP, except clothes?" She thought for a moment. If in the hypothetical situation that she was going to this University, she'd like to take some things along. Or better yet, some of her character's things. "Um... dark green backpack with 'Ghost Power' written on back in light green, gold chain with tear-shaped emerald pendant..." She needed to make her writing smaller. "Gold earrings set with tear-shaped emeralds, hyper-fast laptop computer."
Was that all? Yeah, probably. "What is your worst fear?" This one she had to think about. Her character's worst fear was having to destroy Danny, but that wasn't really applicable. "Falling from tall things. Who is your favorite Danny Phantom character and why? Danny, he's so awesome. Least and why, Skulker. He's so pathetic. Who's your Danny Phantom 'lust object'?"
Lust object. They made it sound so... crass. Still... "Danny."
"What are your favorite pairings, list three or fewer. Danny & Sam, Danny & OC... Jazz & Dash." That last one was especially fun to write. "Do you prefer to be with many, few or no people? Few. Are you blah blah blah Seven Deadly Sins?" Well, she'd heard of them, but she didn't know what they were. "N. What's your diet preference? Omn. Do you use spell check, proofread, let others proofread. N, Y, N. If you selected Human or Other, blah blah blah. Do you have any health or physical problems or injuries? No, duh. Note: the application staff blah blah blah. How long have you been a fan of Danny Phantom? Days, months, years." How long had it been now? "Uh, two years. Who is your favorite minor villain and why?"
Gak, she had to pick one? Okay... "Mosquitoes, 'cause they turned people into halfas. Describe yourself. In only a paragraph? Tall, thin, pretty, brown hair, green eyes." Yes, that was how her character looked. "Who is your favorite non-Danny Phantom character?" She blinked. She had one? Oh, yeah. "Edward Scissorhands from what-do-you-think?" While she wasn't sure that she'd liked the movie in general, Johnny Depp was an indisputably hott robot. "What is your sexual preference? M. Eew. Blah blah, this is dumb. Lied or joked?" She'd put in her character's name and description as her own, so "Wye. Note: Desiree and Miss Miktayee blah blah blah. Inclined to swearing, no, willing to scrub the restrooms if supervised by Danny?"
She thought for a moment. No, there was no way she was scrubbing a restroom. "Are you a human? Well, duh. Who is the Half-Blood Prince? Dunno. Note: the application staff blah blah blah. Describe Danny. Dark hair, big blue eyes, really cute and kind of skinny. In one word, Danny in black leather: Hott." This caused her brain to click. Would Danny look like Johnny Depp when he grew up? Whoo. "Copenhagen means, tobacco. Smoker, no. Lemon, no. Slash, no. Burger King, yeah. Plan to, no. Danny trapped in human or ghost form, yeah." It had been one of her favorites, at that. Danny had gotten trapped in ghost form. "Do you believe that this is the last question? Yeah." It was, after all, on the bottom of the page, and investigation revealed that the next page was just a short letter.
Whew, she thought. What a long form. These guys are evil or something. She proceeded to the next page.
"Congratulations on completing Part One of the OFUAP Entrance Form. Before you begin Part TWO!" She slapped her forehead. "No way. There are some blah blah blah. Firstly, if you wrote your name at the beginning of the test, you have already - I have? Oh, crap! So go ahead and fill out the rest. Secondly, if you didn't read the fine print, well, I read the fine print. Your penalty will be to spend one non-class day scrubbing the bathroom of your bedspace, supervised by the Box Ghost. We will know if you haven't read the fine print. Yeah, whatever. Thirdly, no dropping out, four, think long and hard before you answer each question."
Crud. How many parts were there to this thing, anyway? "Read through blah blah blah."
She flipped to the next page. Sure enough, there was another forty questions. "Name again, Emberlynn Fenten. Electives?" She frowned, staring at the list. Most of them looked pretty boring. "Good antagonist without powers, I guess. Halfa Physiology, too. And that one, Where Money Comes From And Some Good Places It Can Go." The other two, definitely not. Who wanted a class with Jack Fenton or Mr. Lancer? "Note: All elective time not spent in class, iguana dodgeball, blah blah blah. Yeah, I heard that already. Why is a raven like a writing desk? No clue. Enjoy cooking? Heck no. Do I know who Vincent Price is? No. If so... blah blah. Which movies or books have given you nightmares? List four or fewer. Sure. Sleepy Hollow-" (Even Johnny couldn't save her from that monstrosity) "-uh, Beauty and the Beast did..." She frowned. Any more?
Oh, yeah. "Corpse Bride." Her love of Johnny Depp (and an enthusiast friend) had once again dragged her into a work of Tim Burton, and before she'd seen any more than the trailer she was having gruesome dreams about being undead. From now on, Emberlynn decided, she was not going to watch anything by Burton no matter who it had in it. (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory hadn't been so bad, but she continually suffered strange ideas involving Christopher Lee as an aftermath. Why was it that no matter how hard she tried to avoid these movies they kept sneaking up on her? No more Burton!)
"Are you currently drunk? No. Expecting your period? Yeesh, that's rude! No. Married?" Undeads came to mind. She shuddered. "No. If so, blah blah. Note: Desiree and Miss Miktayee blah blah blah. If you listed your species as Halfa or Ghost, do your powers have any special element? Nah, that's silly, ghosts don't have elements. If you answered N to any Mary-Sue questions, blah blah, have you ever written blah blah blah, beauty, intelligence popularity, ghost/powers, physical skill, blah blah blah, employment under Vlad, your name, modesty? Four or more?" She studied the list. "Yeah. Have you bathed recently? Of course! Are you familiar with Tim Burton? Yeah. Have you ever seen and enjoyed any movies by Tim Burton that did not star Johnny Depp? Gak, these guys must be psychic! No. Do you believe that Tim Burton's inflence could improve Danny Phantom and why? No. Tim Burton's a creepy and disturbed man. Are you a relatively good singer? Yes. Are you suceptible to PMS?"
Cue denial. "No. Do you frequently play video games? Sometimes. The Sims 2?" Yes. Absolutely. That was what she did when she wasn't writing fanfiction. "If so, do you have any Sims of Danny Phantom characters? No, but I should... Had you ever heard of an OFU before OFUAP? No. Recite the Final Admonition: The whatawhat? Write a good example of your fanfiction summaries, any story will do: When Danny is caught in the Fenton Portal for a second time, he becomes trapped in ghost form. How will Sam react? Uh, I suck at summaries. I really do. Do you have a job? Yes! Writing Danny fanfic! Hobbies other than fanfiction? Yeah, I play The Sims. Are you familiar with the color urple? No. Finish these sentences. I am a ghost, blank. Fear me. Yeah, that, and my pants are filled with blank." Luckily for her, she had several family members who were high Muppet advocates. "Starfish. If I am not allowed to blank and make it my own, I will go insane and blank. No clue. Note: you don't actually have to fill these out, so don't bother. Dang it!"
She was beginning to get a strong urge to throttle whoever had written this test.
"Do you really believe in ghosts? No. Why? 'Cause Tim Burton made them up." This was, of course, a joke. But she blamed a lot of her problems on Tim Burton, so it worked. "Do you hereby agree that blah blah blah, whatever, and not the University and it's staff? Sure. Stinkin' license agreement. Do you watch many cartoons other than DP? No. What's your favorite candy? Uh, maltballs. Why do you write fanfiction? 'Cause it's fun! How many major orifices do you have? What the heck? Would you prefer to wear a uniform? No. Have you ever written a crossover, no. How many fanfics? Uh, five. How many questions are there? Eighty, duh. Did you count subquestions and personal information in that total?"
She whacked herself in the forehead. Whoever had written this was evil. "No. Sign your name here, Emberlynn Fenten!"
And that was it. She'd completed the stinking form. Now to bed. Her fanfiction, she supposed, could wait, partially due to the fact that she'd half-forgotten what was going to happen next. She stood up, dropped her book somewhere, dropped the papers mindlessly at the foot of her bed, and clicked off the light.
Now she couldn't see. I hate that about light. Oh, well, she was going to bed anyway. Yawning, she collapsed onto her bed and promptly knew no more.