This was written in response to a challenge to use the words "But I thought you wore thongs?" and/or the word 'tango' in a fic. Hope you like it.
Special Thanks to all the wonderful creators and writers of Stargate/Stargate SG1 for lending their wonderful characters to play in my enjoyable but profitless imagination. I'll be returning them shortly.
No copyright infringement intended. This fan fiction is an original work created by the author.
...and now on with the story.
SG1 stepped through the gate and the iris snapped closed behind them. They made their way down the ramp, Colonel O'Neill smiling broadly. Carter and Teal'c followed without ceremony. Daniel lagging behind as usual and Teal'c passing him without comment as he brushed sand from his face and hair.
They hit the end of the ramp and started removing their weapons. It had been an uneventful trip and they barely listened as Hammond's voice boomed into the room, welcoming them home and stating their time of debriefing. Jack half saluted at his words, but he was watching Sam.
"So, Carter, interested in team night?"
"Sure, Sir, what are we doing?"
Jack smiled wickedly, handing off his P-90 as he crossed to the door of the gate room. "Actually, it's a 'Teal'c special'."
"A 'Teal'c special', Sir?" He'd noticed she did that a lot, repeating his own words back to him, hadn't figured out why yet.
"Yeah!" He waggled his eyebrows and donned that 'boyish' grin that she couldn't resist. "We're taking Teal'c dancing. He wants to learn to tango."
Sam stopped dead still. "TANGO?" Her face scrunched up in disbelief as she pictured herself dancing with her tall Jaffa friend.
'See, she did it again!' He thought as he turned around to face her, his face totally serious. "Yeah, Carter, tango." Then he turned quickly away and grinned broadly.
"Well, that should be interesting…I mean…watching you and Daniel tango with Teal'c!" She grinned back at him innocently.
"Funny, Carter." He flashed a teasing glare her way and then started towards the locker room.
"Sir, I really don't have the clothes here for that kind of thing."
"Whatever you have will be fine, Carter. It's not a contest for cryin' out loud!"
"Sir? Why the tango?"
"No idea, Carter, probably some movie he watched on TV. Who knows?"
"Humor me, ok? It's Teal'c. It'll be fun."
She cocked her head and threw a doubting glare back at him, suspicious to her very core.
"Carter, will you just get to the infirmary? It's guys first turn at showers anyway!" He yelled back over his shoulder as she watched him walk away, certain that he was smiling. "Our Jaffa friend doesn't want to be late."
'He does that on purpose!' she thought to herself, "He knows I can't stand those sandy planets.' And then another thought occurred to her. 'Where the hell in Colorado Springs could you take a Jaffa to learn the 'tango?''
She was still contemplating that thought while Janet checked her out in the infirmary. She wasn't really paying attention, as it was just a routine exam anyway.
Janet finally questioned her as to why she was so distracted and Sam filled her in on the team's plans. Sam paused, smiling slightly as Janet's laughter echoed across the still infirmary. "Come on, Janet. It's not that funny."
"Are you kidding? I might tag along just to watch!"
"Hey, if you think you're up to teaching a Jaffa to tango, feel free to join us!" Janet's face became a solemn mask as she considered that and then snorted and broke out in hysterical laughter again.
"Are you finished with me?" Sam asked a bit aggravated at Janet's uncontrolled amusement.
"Yeah. You're fine, you can go." Janet waved her away but she was still snickering as Sam exited the infirmary shaking her head.
Sam had reached the locker room and raised her fist to knock on the door when she heard voices. Occasionally she'd heard some interesting things from these guys when they didn't know she was about so she decided to listen for a moment…just to see if the Colonel was trying to put one over on her.
She was leaning close to the door when a voice shouting her name made her jump. She turned a waving hand towards the intruder. "Shush, Janet, be quiet!" and pointed toward the door frantically.
Janet's hand covered her own mouth, effectively quieting her giggles, as she tiptoed close to Sam. "What is it?" she whispered.
"Listen." Sam admonished her quietly and leaned towards the door again with Janet following her example. Poised carefully, their ears pressing against the door, and watching for anyone approaching, they listened to the voices of the SG1 men as they carried clearly through the cold metal.
"So Teal'c looking forward to this evening?"
"Indeed, I am, O'Neill. I have waited and hoped for such an opportunity."
Jack smiled and turned his head towards Daniel. "Good! That's good, it'll be…fun!"
The women could hear them moving around the room; they were obviously getting dressed as they talked.
"Where are we going, Jack?" But before he could answer Daniel's voice grew louder in what sounded like utter terror. "Jack, what the hell are you doing? What were you thinking?"
Sam and Janet's eyes widened, as they pressed harder against the door, hanging on every word of the conversation.
"What?" Jack's innocent question bounced quietly against the door.
"Your, your….duh, duh… your…um." Sam imagined Daniel pointing nervously at…something.
"Daniel, you're babbling incoherently. Take a deep breath and speak in complete sentences. You can do that, can't you…in English, if you don't mind?"
Janet's hand flew up to smother another fresh round of giggles that threatened to escape her. Sam waited quietly thinking that Teal'c would fill in the gaps for them, but he remained quiet and she pressed her ear a little tighter against the door.
"WHAT?" Jack was practically yelling now, as he became easily frustrated with his resident archeologist.
"Again, with the 'your'?"
"I thought you…" There was a long silence before Jack spoke again.
"Oh! No, Daniel. I prefer this. It's natural and more comfortable."
"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Daniel, you're making a big deal out of nothing."
"But I thought you wore thongs?" Janet and Sam both pulled instantly away from the door, eyes wide, staring at each other and desperately attempting to smother their giggles as their imaginations ran wild.
Janet turned to Sam and mouthed the word 'thongs?' again and Sam blushed furiously, motioning her to stop. They leaned back just in time to hear Teal'c speaking in his usual booming voice.
"As did I, O'Neill."
"That could be unhealthy, Jack…dangerous even."
"Well, what can I tell you, guys? It's my little slice of freedom! Get over it."
Jack stopped short as they heard a loud thud against the door. He turned a puzzled look towards Daniel and crossed the room. He placed his hand on the doorknob and waited for a moment listening to the soft scuffling sounds and…was that giggling coming from the corridor. He jerked open the door to see Sam and Janet bent over slightly and leaning into each other, giggling uncontrollably.
"Carter!" He barked, "What the hell is going on out here?"
Sam pushed Janet away with a warning look and attempted to stand up straight, as she struggled to suppress her giggling, aware that her CO's eyes were watching them closely. Desperate to regain her composure, she blew out all her air and raised her head, but as her eyes fell on O'Neill her laughter burst from her lips unrestrained.
"Major?" He spoke quietly; then a bit louder. Major!"
"Yes, Sir?" She attempted to respond normally amid the waves of laughter rolling over her.
"What the hell is so funny?"
Sam looked at Janet a little uncertain, then straightened and answered. "I'm sorry, Sir, I was just coming to shower and we…we overheard a bit of your conversation." At which point she pressed her lips together tightly, her eyes still smiling. "Sorry."
"Oh, really. Care to explain to me why the subject of my shower clogs is so funny, Major?"
Sam turned quickly to look at Janet, who was trying to maintain her composure also, but it was hopeless. They fell against each other, laughing aloud and in a moment were on the floor, holding their stomachs, pounding their fists against the floor and laughing uncontrollably.
Daniel and Teal'c walked up beside Jack and stared down at the two hysterical women.
"What did you say, Jack?"
"Beats the hell out of me, Daniel. Beats the hell out of me!"
TBC - sort of...