Disclaimer: I do not- I repeat, do NOT own JN. The rest is the property of moi!


Bloody Tears

By: romancejunkie

Cindy sat in the gathering darkness under the jungle gym in the park. She shivered as rain dripped down her face and arms, washing some blood off the blade she wielded. Each cut got deeper as the feeling of ecstasy and adrenaline increased. She felt no pain, only the bittersweet release she had grown so dependant upon. Blood flowed freely, covering the many scars she already held from years of pain and perfection.

She wanted these feelings to end. Or did she? Cindy had no idea what she wanted anymore. She was treading into unfamiliar territory and it scared her. All of her life her mother had shaped her mind to demand perfection, strength, and honor. And the thing Cindy wanted most defied all of these fundamentals. The confession waiting to roll off her tongue was to be locked away and forgotten.


"You are a Vortex and a Vortex never shows any weakness!" her mother had yelled shrilly.

"I need to tell him Mom! I can't help it!" Cindy had screamed back.

"You are such a burden! Sometimes I wish I had left instead of your father." the woman had snapped.

"What do you mean?" Cindy had squeaked, her eyes filling with tears.

"You're a disgrace to the Vortex name. Never able to achieve perfection or keep your emotions under control. He left because of you." she replied coldly before turning on her heel and striding away.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooEND FLASHBACKoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

But since when did Cindy care what her mother thought or wanted? Her mother certainly didn't care. She allowed a cold laugh to slip past her lips at the though of her mother. That wretched woman was the cause of all this pain and confusion. Cindy didn't understand why she couldn't just let those three little words slip. Her mother's final words still rang in her ears however. He left because of you. Was that really true?

Tears streamed down her face as she pondered this. Someone in her state of mind did not need to be told things like this. After a minute or so, she decided the world would be better off without Cindy Vortex and raised the blade to make the final cut. One deep gash across her left wrist to end it all. But, before she could bring the knife down, someone grabbed her wrist.

"Cindy what are you doing?" Jimmy Neutron asked.

"Why do you care and why are you here?" Cindy snapped, trying to conceal her tears which, luckily for her, melded quite nicely with the rain on her face.

"Your mom's calling everyone. She- Cindy! What did you do!" Jimmy's voice got panicky as he caught sight of the blood still trickling down her arm.

She looked away from him and tugged her sleeve down further. Jimmy's eyes widened in horrified recognition.

"You cut yourself? Cindy, why would you do that?" Jimmy whispered as he kneeled down and pried the knife out of her hand, laying it on the ground behind him.

She shrugged and replied bitterly, "I dunno. This is the first time anyone noticed."

"What do you mean? How long have you been doing this?" he asked narrowing his eyes.

"Since I was 14. And that's all the more proof that nobody cares. It's taken 3 years for anyone to find out."

"Cindy." Jimmy's voice suddenly became stern and he spun her around to face him. "Don't ever say that. I care. And Carl and Libby and Sheen care."
Suddenly Cindy launched herself at Jimmy and hugged him tightly. He was shocked at first- Cindy had always let on that she hated him but here she was hugging him. Of her own free will. He pulled her over onto his lap and let her sob into his chest.

When her sobs had quieted, Jimmy said softy, "Come on Cindy. Let's get out of the rain and clean up your arms."

She nodded slightly into his chest and let go reluctantly. They got up and Jimmy put his arm around her shoulders, guiding her to his lab.

When they entered the lab, Cindy realized how long it had been since she was there. As they grew older and busier with school, they had stopped going on adventures. This was around when she started cutting herself. She had grown apart from most of her friends when they entered high school until only Libby remained. When Libby started spending more time with Sheen, Cindy had gone into a sort of mini depression, nothing compared to the one she had currently sunk to.

The lab had changed along with Jimmy. He no longer had his strange hair style. He had given it up around the 6th grade for a shorter cut. His hair always looked messy and windswept and it worked for him. The lab was now more modern and had a library like section. Countless scientific books lined the shelves that stood against the walls. There was also a couch which Jimmy led her over to before disappearing into another room to get the first aid kit.

When he returned and sat down next to her, she moved closer and rested her head against his shoulder. He cleaned and bandaged her cuts and called Goddard to go to Cindy's house to get dry clothes for her. Goddard returned minutes later and Jimmy led Cindy to another room to change. When she returned she sat next to him and waited for the questions that undoubtably were to come.

"Cindy why'd you do that?" Jimmy asked quietly.

"I- I don't know." She stuttered.

"Cindy please." His gaze locked with hers, his bright blue eyes pleading, "I want to help you. I can only do that if I know what's wrong."

Cindy suddenly became very interested in her hands which were folded in her lap. She refused to look at him and mumbled some indecipherable words. The most Jimmy could make out were the words 'mother', 'weakness', and 'tell'.

"Cindy you need to tell me. It's important." Jimmy said, tilting her face to meet his eyes.

"I wanted to tell someone something. Something very important. But my mother found out and said it would be showing weaknesss and a Vortex isn't weak." Cindy recited. She seemed to struggle with herself for a moment before continuing in a very small voice." Then she said my father left because of me."

"Cindy that's not true." Jimmy reassured her.

He suddenly felt a rush of sympathy towards her. He couldn't imagine what it would be like having your father leave, much less told it was your fault by your only remaining parent. He just wanted to hug her, make all her pain go away. Jimmy was afraid she would freak out. He still remembered the last time she yelled at him and unconsciously rubbed that bicep that had received her punch. He thought about it, weighing the options in his mind.

Then he saw the two lone tears making their way down her cheeks. So, he hesitantly wrapping his arms around the shaking girl. She calmed immediately and gave an almost inaudible sigh of contentment. Jimmy felt oddly relaxed about hugging Cindy. He glanced down at his watch. It read 11:26 pm.

'Wow it's late. I wonder what I should do with Cindy. I doubt she wants to go home and deal with her mom right now...'

Then he realized Cindy was slowly falling asleep using him as a pillow. He deduced that now would be the best time to ask the question that was bothering him.

"Cindy? Who did you want to talk to?" Jimmy whispered.

"You." She replied sleepily, settling back into his warm embrace.

Jimmy tensed slightly. Why would talking to him be showing weakness?

"And what did you want to say to me?"

Cindy seemed to ponder for a moment as if mulling over what to say. In her last moment of conciousness before she fell asleep she whispered, "To tell you that I love you."

OooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooTHE ENDoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A.N.- Yeah I know Cindy was OC in this but who cares? Wait, don't answer that. Anyway, what'd ya think? I wrote it mostly during music class after the idea came to me in homeroom. Review and I may make it a two-shot! Oh, and in case you didn't know by now (which I don't know how you couldn't…) Jimmy and Cindy are 17 in this fic. Review and I'll give you a random fact! Yay randomness!