Summary: Deaths and other wartime events leave behind a few broken wings but sometimes the mental scars are too deep to reach with magic. What kind of miracle will it take to pull two broken boys back into the light? Why Severus Snape of course...HPSSDM
Status: 11 chapters written, 11 chapters posted
Review count: 90 (9 again, thank you :D)
another boring story - Thanks
Ann - They will realise and I'm glad you like him :D
GaiazHeart - Are you one of them? ;-)
maniac kiss - I have updated
DestinyEntwinements - Glad you think so
mphoenix - Quick enough?
Kali09 - Thank-you for noticing
Not So Sane - Have you reviewed more than one stories? Anyway, enjoy this update
Psychotic Yaoi Lover - Updated
Pairings: Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy x Severus Snape, Ron Weasley x Hermione Granger, Lucius x Snape
Notes: Well...um yeh...it's the longest chapter in the entire story.
Ginny had gotten home that night to find Harry sat in a chair by the fire staring into it. She didn't speak to him simply walked through to the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. When she woke in the morning she was violently ill and was suffering from a very painful headache. After cleaning herself up and getting dressed in the en suite she exited to find a very pale Harry Potter still staring into the fire.
Ginny looked at the ring on her finger and then at the bags under his eyes. He'd been up all night staring out the dieing fire, which were now only ashes. She remembered what had happened last night. How Harry had cried when he kissed her and she'd been a little too out of it to realise why. He hadn't wanted to kiss her and it made him sad to do so…to lie to her and to lie to himself.
She could see it was tearing him apart and it was dawning on her that what she had dreamed off since meeting the sweet scrawny boy at Kings Cross at the age of ten was never going to happen. However she also reckoned that she was the only stable thing in his life right now. She would let him make the first move.
"I'm going out shopping today Harry," he gave her a small nod but did not look at her.
"Alright then," she went back to the bedroom and owled Hermione asking her to meet her in Diagon Alley.
---Hermione and Ron---
"Ron, owl Draco and Severus, Ginny is out of the house and I'm going to keep it that way," Hermione called out as she dashed around to get ready.
"Don't you think we're taking this too far?"
Hermione stopped in her tracks and looked at Ron, "We've put our feet in it Ron, too late to get cold feet," she said as she tried her hair up into a messy ponytail. "Oh blast this hair," she muttered tugging it out and trying again. "Anyway, have to go love, promise me you'll owl them?" she asked as she leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek.
"Alright," Ron replied with a deep sigh. His wife smiled at him and disappeared.
Ron walked over to his desk and pulled out a piece of parchment. He sat there for a long time, he didn't have to do this, not to his sister…no, this was for her future and Harry's. Small picture aside it was the bigger, long term picture he needn't to look at now. With this thought in mind, and before he lost his nerve, Ron scribbled down directions to Ginny's house and sent it with his and Hermione's owl to Malfoy Manor where Ron knew Draco and Severus had retreated to after last night.
---Draco and Severus---
Draco blinked his eyes open when a tapping awoke him. He manoeuvred his way out of Severus' arms and out of the warm cocoon he had made for himself from bed covers. He moved towards the window and opened it, taking the letter from the owl and reading it.
He rushed back to the bed and began shaking his lover, "Severus wake up, this is our chance, come on!"
---Hermione and Ginny---
The two girls sat outside the ice cream pallor at one end of Diagon alley, Hermione had a citrus fruit sorbet selection while Ginny had the house special (a five scoop affair that changes flavours in your mouth and had over 100 flavours).
"I don't know if he's really up for it," Ginny said thoughtfully while placing the spoon in her mouth and gazing at the passers by.
"If who's up for what Gin?" Hermione asked, she too had some of her sorbet.
"Harry," Ginny looked at her ice cream sadly, "I just don't think he really wants to marry me."
"What's brought this on Ginny?" Hermione asked, cheering silently but she couldn't help but feel sad all the same. This had to be hard for Ginny.
"It's just…last night…and, well, he turns up out of the blue and proposes. It's what I've been waiting so long for and yet…there's something missing you know. A spark, he doesn't touch me, he barely kisses me. It's like his mind is somewhere else, somewhere that he's running from. I'm afraid Mia, I'm afraid he's just going to run through me in time. I don't want to have to pick up the pieces and what him run off again," Ginny had tears brimming in her eyes now.
"Oh Gin," Hermione sighed heavily reaching over to lay one hand on the small red-headed girl's shoulder. "It'll be alright, you'll see."
The knock on the door snapped Harry out of his reverie and, thinking it was Ginny, got up to open the door. He was not prepared to see Draco and Severus standing there. In his shock he did not freeze up but slammed the door turned around and leaned against it breathing heavily, his eyes darting left and right. After reassuring himself that it had been his mind playing tricks on him he turned back around to open the door a second time. When the hurt blonde and annoyed looking potions master remained as real as ever Harry was not prepared and so the two took the opportunity to barge in.
"What are you two doing here," Harry snapped at them when blood got back to his brain.
"We came to see you Harry, we miss you," Draco said softly reaching out to Harry who backed away.
"Get out, both of you, I never want to see either of you again," Harry shouted, his face contorted in anger. The only mask he could find to hide his fear, his fear that the walls he'd thrown up to shield his heart for years would crumble if he stayed around them too long.
"No Harry." Green eyes snapped to look at Severus Snape who was regarding him sternly. "You're not going to run this time, we came here to talk."
Harry gulped looking from the pleading eyes of the blonde, still fragile looking but definitely healthier than when Harry had last knowingly clapped eyes on him, and then up to the dark, mysterious pools of his ex-professor. "Sit down then," Harry sneered moving to sit on a two-seater sofa.
Severus nodded moving to sit in a chair by the fireplace and bringing the fire back to life with a wave from his wand. Draco plopped down next to Harry and Harry nearly fled to room, he hadn't been near the boy since…well…Harry didn't want to think about that.
"I hear you're marrying the youngest of the Weasley clan," Severus said coolly.
"That's right, not that it's any business of yours," Harry snapped.
"Do you love her Harry?"
Harry looked at Draco, the blonde looked like a rabbit caught in the glare of the headlights of an oncoming car. A car that Harry was driving.
"I…I…" Harry could not finish because Draco had leaned forward to press his lips to Harry's. Harry's eyes slipped closed and he groaned…a second later his hands flew to Draco's shoulders pushing the blonde away and standing, backing away from the sofa. He backed into something hard and looked his shoulder to see Severus Snape standing behind him.
"What are you doing?" Harry gasped trying to scramble away but Draco was in front of him. He was sandwiched between the two and apparition in his panicked state would surely have left him splinched.
"Don't you like this Harry?" Draco murmured pressing harder against Harry.
"You seemed to last night," Severus whispered in his ear, nibbling the love.
Harry groaned, memories of a similar position flooding his mind and making his hands move to grip the hair of the two men that were encircling him.
"Yes, I daresay you like it even now," Draco's hand traced patterns on Harry's chest, lifting up the boy's shirt to reveal scars and smooth tanned skin.
"More perhaps since you know who we are," Severus drawled into his ear as one of his hands, long fingered and flexible at the wrist, crept around to his front and cupping between he apex of Harry's thighs. Harry moaned at this and tilted his head back. Draco and Severus attacked opposite sides of Harry's neck with a vengeance.
"That's right Harry, give in to what you know you want," Draco whispered.
"We love you Harry, we're not trying to use you, we genuinely love you," Severus murmured.
"Let us heal you Harry," Draco purred.
"Release the pain," Severus hissed.
Harry couldn't help it; he was enjoying their attention. He did want to give in, he wanted it, he craved it. His heart was beating wildly in his chest willing him to fall into them both but he couldn't.
Reason tied up all his lustful, sinful, thoughts. He was engaged; he couldn't do this to Ginny. No, he would marry her, he would be happy with her…he would live the lie he had fashioned for himself, he would lie in the grave he had unwittingly dug.
"You don't need to be self-sacrificial anymore Harry. He's gone now, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do," Severus whispered having read the boy's mind.
"We'll bury the past together," Draco continued, "please Harry, let us be your light as you have been ours."
Harry could not answer. He didn't want to deny them but the honourable Gryffindor part of his heart still clung to the fact that Ginny was expecting him to marry her in a week.
The fire crackled green, Severus and Draco stopped their assault on Harry to look at it, Ron's face appeared and both gave a sigh of relief, believing it to have been Ginny. "You two had better go, Ginny is on her way back."
With that warning given and both giving a final kiss to a dazed Harry's lips they left. A few minute later Ginny walked through the door to find Harry asleep on the couch, a smile on his face and his breathing steady. She looked at him sadly, this was the first time she had seen him sleep peacefully since he had returned to her and she knew, deep in her heart that it was not thoughts of her that carried him safely to his dreams.
She was about to move to the kitchen when she was a glimmer of something on Harry's shirt. She moved over and carefully plucked it away. A golden hair…another girl? Could that be why he hadn't wanted to be with her? No, that couldn't be it, that hair hadn't been there when she'd left and she knew Harry hadn't met anyone at the club. Then it began to dawn on her…it wasn't another girl at all…it was a man…Draco Malfoy. It all made sense now, the Daily Prophet had reported the blonde's road to recovery with Severus Snape at his side. Hermione's distant behaviour at the time…she had a hand in this, that's why she hadn't consoled her very well while they were out, she'd been planning this. But Hermione wouldn't have had time to contact Malfoy…Ron. They'd all been in on this.
Ginny ran to the bedroom and flung herself on the bed and tears flowed down her cheeks. They were not tears of betrayal; they were angry tears, anger at her own stupidity for being so foolish. He had no loved her; he was running away from admitting love to those he really loved. Maybe he'd changed his mind, perhaps he'd said no today, perhaps he would love her now?
A week passed and Harry said nothing, he talked to her more but he did not kiss her…not once. The day before their wedding dawned and Ginny spent the night at Hermione's and Ron stayed with Harry.
Ron looked at Harry, "Are you actually going to go through with this?" Ron demanded, he was angry and it showed, his face was going red.
"I love her Ron," Harry said but it was a blank statement, there was no real emotion there.
"No you don't you bastard and you know it. Hermione and I have given you ample opportunity and now you're going to tie my sister to you for your own selfish gain. You're a git Harry Potter, if you go through with this I swear I will never forgive you," with that Ron made to storm out of the door.
"Wait, what do you mean ample opportunity," there was a pause, "the club…them coming to the house. You've been planning this the entire time."
"Yes you great prat," Ron snapped, "and don't go saying a thing about controlling your life. You love them Harry, they love you, don't take my sister's life. I've never thought that you did a single thing wrong. You brought down Lord Voldemort, you freed us all but if you do this Harry. If you marry my sister I will never forgive you."
With that he left and Harry was left alone.
Ron stormed down the hallway to the entry hall of the chapel where Hermione was stood, Draco and Severus behind her, "Well?"
"No change," Ron sighed heavily.
Hermione bit her lip, "I had better go and see Ginny." She hitched her skirt up and rushed off.
"He's stubborn isn't he," Draco murmured regrettably.
"He was in Gryffindor," Severus replied placing an arm around the blonde.
"But he isn't stupid," Ron said, the two looked up at him, "he'll get there."
---Hermione and Ginny---
"Hey Gin," Hermione said as she came into the room. Ginny was there in front of the mirror in her wedding dress, the veil over her face. As Hermione entered Ginny lifted the veil to show a teary face. "Gin, what's wrong?"
"I don't want this," Ginny replied.
"Want what?" Hermione asked.
"I don't want to marry him, I want him to be happy, seeing him happy makes me happy but it isn't me that can bring him that joy. It's Snape and Malfoy," Ginny's fists were clenched at her sides Hermione bit her lip again. "You knew didn't you? That's why you asked us to the club, that's why you insisted on going clothe shopping, something you hate, you wanted to keep me out of the house. I can't believe I was so foolish," a tear rolled down her heart shaped face.
"Oh Gin," Hermione walked up to her and laid her hands on her shoulder.
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"You needn't to realise for yourself. Otherwise you would have spent your whole life wondering what would have happened if you'd said yes," Hermione explained looking at Ginny in the mirror and smiling sadly.
The side of Ginny's mouth curled up slightly, "As usual you're right."
There was a long pause.
"Will there ever be anyone like him?" Ginny asked quietly.
"No, but there will be other's, you'll find someone Gin, I promise," Hermione replied smiling slightly.
Ginny bit her lip, "I have to go," she said. Hermione watched her go with a heavy heart. It was ironic, the weight that had left her shoulders clung her heart and settled there with a vengeance.
There was a knock on the door. Thinking it was Ron Harry said, "Come in," rather sharply.
Harry spun around at the soft voice and there he saw her. Ginny, dressed purely in white, her blue eyes shining with tears and a resigned smile on her face. She walked up to him and said quietly with her head bowed, "Harry, I don't want to marry you."
She held up the engagement ring.
"Don't you…don't you love me anymore?" Harry gazed at her in fear, did she hate him to?
Ginny laid her hands on his shoulders gently and said softly, "Harry I love you, but not enough to give my life to you."
Harry's eyes looked at her, confusion teetering on the edge of nothing, "What?"
"Harry you need someone who will love unconditionally and I can't give you that," Ginny explained, tears welling in her eyes.
"Because Harry dear, I can only love someone fully, who loves me in return," she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek.
"But I do love you," Harry began to protest but was stopped by a soft finger on his lips.
"As a sister maybe, but Harry, the love I cradled for you in your absence was the love of the boy you were and I held on desperately to the longing feeling of wanting you and only you. But, you walked out of my life Harry and became a man without my help and Harry, you are not the man I love," she was crying openly now, but they were soft tears and in a way Harry felt that she was crying in his stead, doing something he felt too emotionally drained to do.
"We can make this work, I promise," Harry cried sadly.
"Harry darling, stop now, stop this charade."
For what Ginny felt was the first time the real Harry looked at her. The one he had been desperately trying to hide, she smiled.
"I will always love you Harry, as will Ron and Hermione, you've done great things and there have been consequences but none of them your fault. You cannot live two lives Harry, part of you wants to cling to the past and pretend it never happened and part of you wants to atone for crimes you didn't commit. The past is gone Harry, look forward."
Ginny turned Harry round to face the door, "Your future is waiting Harry. Don't let the past break you Harry, be the strong man I know you are and go."
Harry turned to look at her. She looked beautiful, her copper hair done up in a tasteful bun, curling ringlets hanging down and framing her face, fluttering butterfly clips in hair to hold back unwanted loose strands. Her pearly white dress glimmering hugging her waist and fanning out at her hips. A choker of pearls and the veil folded back behind a silver tiara. Her blue eyes, with tears leaking out of them looked up at him with hope.
"Will find my own future," Ginny finished for him smiling up at the dancing light in his green eyes.
Harry walked forward and crushed her to him, she returned the hug just as tightly burying her face in his chest and memorising the smell of the man that would never truly have been hers.
"Thank-you," he whispered into her and backed up, her hands fell into his and they stood like that for a moment before he nodded to her, dropped her hands, slipping the engagement ring off her finger as he turned. His hand took hold of the doorknob and his back straightened. His heart would heal in time and Ginny would forever regret that it had nothing to do with her, she had only been a catalyst but jealousy was not in her nature. She was shy at heart and would forever regret her missed chance but she would find her own happiness and be content in the knowledge that he was happy.
---Outside the door---
Severus stood there, a hand on Draco's shoulder and both looked up as Harry stepped out. Harry sighed and walked forward till he was right in front of them both, he held up the engagement ring for them both to see before pocketing it.
"Harry," Draco's voice quivered as the pale and still very skinny blonde reached out for the dark haired man.
It took only one more step and then Draco found himself enveloped in strong arms. He reached up and looped his arms around Harry's neck, bringing the shaking man's head down to rest on his shoulder. Severus watched them for a moment before a pair of shining bottle green eyes looked at him through stray tendrils of Draco's hair. A hand reached out for him and Severus stood uncertain.
He regretted that he had not had the strength to go to Draco himself and wondered perhaps if the blonde was better left in the care of the boy-who-lived altogether. He was drawn from his thoughts when both of his hands were taken by others and he looked up to see Draco holding his left hand and Harry his right. Harry had his other arm around Draco's shoulders and the blonde's arm was wrapped around Harry's waist.
A gentle tug from Harry brought the potion's master forward into the arms of the possessor of the most piercing green eyes that Severus had ever seen. Draco wrapped his arms around Harry from behind and gripped Severus' robes, enveloping Harry in a protective cocoon that no one would breach. They had each other now and words were irrelevant, they would fix each other and build on the remains a fragmented past that would become the framework for an empire of future happiness.
Ginny peaked at them from a crack in the door, tears of joy and sadness in her eyes. She sighed heavily and turned looking at herself in the mirror, "Well girl, what are you going to do with yourself now?" she asked her reflection.
Her reflection melted into another form, it was still herself but her hair was down, falling in ringlets over her shoulders, he icy eyes burning with a cold blue flame. She was wearing a strapless, short, tight black dress with a zip up the front and a belt hanging off one hip. Boots that laced up to her knees and elbow length, fingerless gloves.
"Steal the bastard back," her reflection told her with a smirk, "kill those other two and take back what is rightfully yours. You didn't spend years nursing your heart to love him to throw it away now do you."
Ginny frowned then raised her fist and smashed the mirror, seven years of bad luck be dammed, she would not let herself succumb to such horrid thoughts. There were better men than Harry in the world. But the idea remained in the back of her mind all the same.
And so it stands that angels that have fallen from grace,
Those with wings of purest white stained with blood,
Those with bloodied wings blackened by hate,
May they be redeemed by the light of truth,
May love shine on them and be their beacon,
Their candle where darkness fear to read,
And their hope, when all other lights go out.
And so, may blackened bloody wings turn white,
May redemption be their pillar and may they walk in light.
That's it...I didn't expect to end it this chapter, I was going to have another but instead it ends here. That's it, no sequel, no epilogue just a short poem that inspired this fic.
A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT REVIEWED THIS STORY AND AN EVEN BIGGER THANK-YOU TO EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWED IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH FROM THE START. :D