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The Only Two Who Fit... by David A. Tatum

Notes: I've seen a few fanfics recently which have used a concept that I really think is funny, but I haven't actually seen a fic based on that concept. Well, here's a spamfic on it now, set, oh, make it some night before Ranma and Akane's failed wedding attempt and after Jusendou (well, actually, I don't know when to set this, but it's a spamfic, why do I need to do that much planning? I suppose it could be after the failed wedding, but that would make Ryouga OOC, IMO) Disclaimer: You know the drill- these characters ain't mine and never will be- they belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Now, on with the show... -------------------------

P-chan leaped into the still-warm waters in the darkened bathroom, and a battered Ryouga stepped out purposefully. His left arm appeared to be facing the wrong direction- a fact which had not escaped him after the tranformation. Gritting his teeth, he pulled the dislocated shoulder back into place before returning to the furo he had just gotten out of.

'Damn,' he thought, rubbing a bruise on his side gingerly. 'Akane's starting to get a LOT rougher in bed. If I had the endurance I had in human form with P-Chan, I might be able to shrug off those blows, but I'm not so sure anymore.' Then he smiled. 'Though I think I'm the ONLY person who could survive sleeping with her on a regular basis... Ranma, you don't stand a chance with her...' Then he frowned. 'But you said you loved her at Jusendou... You keep getting in my way, Ranma- it is time for me to finish you once and for all!'

With that, he stepped out of the bath and started out of the bathroom. Then, remembering he still hadn't put on any clothes, turned around and grabbed a set of his clothes from the bench in the changing room (it amazed him how they always magically appeared when he needed them) and hurriedly dressed.

* * * * *

Ten minutes later, Ryouga was standing over Ranma, trying to wake him up.

"Come on, Ranma," He hissed, not wanting to also wake up the sleeping panda next to him. "Get up."

Finally, Ryouga gave up trying to wake Ranma in a reasonable fashion and threw a punch at his sleeping face. Ranma's head rolled over, narrowly dodging the blow. Then Ryouga tried stepping on him and grinding him with his own heel, but Ranma rolled over to the other side and onto the leg Ryouga was balancing on, knocking the lost boy over.

Ryouga leapt to his feet and tried again with a punching combination, but Ranma stretched and batted away the first hand while avoiding the second. The combination was supposed to be finished with a Bakusai Tenketsu, but Ranma knocked the attacking finger off target when he relaxed from his stretch.

'Incredible,' Ryouga thought, amazed. 'He's stopping every one of my attacks- even my most powerful punches- in his sleep. I mean, he's even better defensively asleep than awake- normally I would have at least forced him to make a real block or something by now...'

A terrible realization struck Ryouga, but he couldn't just accept it without seeing for sure. Slowly, he picked Ranma up and walked out of the room, walking to a room with a duck on the door, and set the sleeping martial artist into the same bed as the woman he loved.

After a few seconds, it started. A fast punch came at Ranma from a sleeping Akane. An unconscious Ranma turned into the attack, blocking the blow at her elbow with his shoulder. The girl followed with an uppercut, but Ranma's head rolled down onto the pillow, his lips inches from Akane's, putting him in a position to avoid the powerful strike. Akane next sent a knee Ryouga was certain would hit Ranma in the groin, but he quickly rolled underneath it, and Akane's leg entangled itself around behind Ranma, wrapping him up and drawing him closer.

Horrified, Ryouga couldn't let it continue. They were fighting each other in their sleep, but every attack and every defense was just drawing them closer. Before they got too far, he pulled Ranma out of Akane's grasp, and dragged him back into the guest room of the Tendou dojo.

'It's over,' he thought. 'I might be able to withstand Akane's attacks now, but if she keeps growing in strength I won't be able to. But Ranma... every time she would hurt me, she would draw him closer... how can I stand up to that?'

Returning to the bath and closing his eyes, a vision of a different girl rose into his eyes. "I wonder what Akari's doing right now..."


Well, that's it. Hope you liked it...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sir Desaix, member # 116 of the Knights of the True Fiancee fanfics available at David A. Tatum's Used Anime Trading Post